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Fidelity: What It Means to Be a One-Woman Man

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4.19  ·  Rating details ·  461 ratings  ·  81 reviews
Addressed to men, 'Fidelity' hits hard, using clear language, focusing on specific sins with specific solutions: adultery, divorce, polygamy, celibacy, pornography, and more. But in the end, the antidote to all sexual temptation is simple - the godly honoring of the marriage bed.
Paperback, 168 pages
Published January 10th 2004 by Canon Press (first published December 6th 1999)
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The House at Pooh Corner by A.A. MilneThe Happiness Animal by Will JelbertA Hidden Wholeness by Parker J. PalmerI Asked For Wonder by Abraham Joshua HeschelA Long Obedience in the Same Direction by Eugene H. Peterson
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2015
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Average rating 4.19  · 
Rating details
 ·  461 ratings  ·  81 reviews


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Peter Jones
Feb 22, 2018 rated it it was amazing
The very first Douglas Wilson book I read. Reading it again years later, it is just as helpful. A book on sexual faithfulness is often so bland as to be unhelpful, in particular in our porn saturated age where most of us were exposed to deviant sexual acts at a young age. Wilson with the type of straightforward teaching he is known for dives into various sexual perversions and tells us how to think about them Biblically. Two things about the book are worth mentioning.

First, he covers just about
...more
Matthew Huff
Jul 10, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Thorough. Edifying. Convicting. Inspiring. Fantastic. Wilson.
Stevie
May 08, 2008 rated it liked it
Shelves: spiritual-kog
I liked that the author drew heavily on Scripture for his convictions. He is at times witty, and he is always sure of what he writes.

Poignant Quotes:
"To meditate on our position in Christ is one preventative measure, and to consider the fleeting nature of sexual immorality is another."

"Christian men are to be fully satisfied at home."

"Notice here that lusts are not just wrong, they are deceitful liars. The endless pleasure promised is not delivered, and the pain and heartache that follows was ne
...more
wpschrec
Oct 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Excellent, a must read for men
Christopher
Sep 09, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This book is a MUST for every man, married or single. Doug Wilson pulls no punches as he exposes the weight of sexual temptation plaguing men, but provides biblical responses, means and strategies to overcoming them. He emphasizes God's love for biblical sexuality as well as God's hatred of distorting it, all in the context of hope and encouragement. You will learn more about the nature of sexual temptation, the danger of sexual temptation and the keys to overcoming it, falling more in love with ...more
Konrad Holden
Apr 07, 2019 rated it really liked it
As always, Wilson is uproariously hilarious, while still being downright serious.

And also as always, Wilson makes applications some may not agree with, but his principles must always be reckoned with first.

Above all, this book places the onus for sexual fidelity and sexual prosperity in marriage on the man, while providing proper nuance so wives can be a kind, helpful lover in the process.
David Bruyn
Jan 10, 2019 rated it really liked it
The chapter "Sexual Solution" should probably be read by every married man.
Keith Kresge
Jul 08, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Easily the most helpful tool besides real live discipleship in my rendition of "every man's battle."
G.M. Burrow
So good. One of the big problems plaguing decent Christian kids is that nobody (parents, pastors, teachers) actually explains these things because they’re so earthy. How do you deal with pornography? What does sexual discipline look like? Is oral sex okay? This book is how to talk about it.
Aaron Ventura
Dec 12, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Updated Review 2019:
Canon Press had me read this out loud for a forthcoming audiobook version. It was great to go back and review this material and I was reminded of how full of uncomfortable sexual language is in it. But all extremely practical and helpful. Still a must read for every man.

Review 2016:
Every dude should read this book. Super convicting, super encouraging, and thoroughly biblical (as usual). Wilson at his best.
Aurora Grace
Mar 08, 2019 rated it did not like it
Shelves: dominionism
The book that landed Wilson in controversial waters a few years back when it was found that the book described intercourse as male conquest of the female. But the book's sins go further than this, advocating for appalling sexual advice, including discredited theories about aids (he cites conspiracist Peter Deusberg), and chapters offering profound and shocking misreadings of texts regarding pornography, premarital and extramarital sex, and LGBTQ issues (to the surprise of no one). About the only ...more
Natalie
Aug 18, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Helpful, relevant, and necessary

As DW writes- “The point in this book has not been to talk about sex unnecessarily. The Bible addresses this, and so must we. Because we as Christians have not gone to the Bible for our answers, we have found ourselves in the midst of a pagan culture which does not hesitate in its attempts to seduce us, and we for some reason have decided amongst ourselves to never talk about what they are doing to us. This, as the consequences show, is a recipe for disaster.”
Brance Gillihan
Feb 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This should be a must read for every Christian man. This is what Mark Driscoll’s book Real Marriage tried to be and failed miserably at. While Driscoll was immature and worldly in much of his advice, Wilson was biblical, mature, thoughtful, and helpful while still being just as direct and blunt. I highly recommend this one!
Josh Dockter
Jan 04, 2020 rated it really liked it
Men, what are you waiting for? Read this book. Wilson is clear and extremely helpful. Every man who is single and hopes to be married would benefit from reading this book. If you are confused about sexual issues because your parents never addressed them or perhaps your pastor stayed away from them then let Wilson help you.
Eric
Aug 13, 2020 rated it liked it
I would highly recommend that men read Fidelity. I believe that it will answer many questions that they have, but either are afraid to ask or their teachers are afraid to teach them. This would be a great book for a father to read with his son as he is nearing adulthood. I found his interpretation of 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 and the idea of limited dual headship in chapter 12 a bit odd.
James Shrimpton
Jan 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I didn't agree every conclusion in here, but on the rare occasion when I didn't, I could at least see where he got there. As always, Doug Wilson is hard hitting, refreshing and a joy to read. I read it in a day.
Gary
Aug 14, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: domestic-harmony
A very brave and, therefore, useful book. Some of the positive teaching at the end was especially helpful.

Loved it even more on this second read.
Bill
Nov 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites
This book should be in the hands of every boy, man, girl, and woman, single or married.
Ken
Nov 28, 2018 rated it really liked it
Blunt to the point without being crass. A needed treatment of the subject with many edifying points. Well-considered. I would recommend.
Scott Daniels
Jan 14, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: christian
Must read for all men.
Jake Litwin
Aug 22, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: spiritual-life
Very good read on what it means to be a one-woman man. Thoroughly biblical and practical. Definitely recommend this for men to read.
Kaitlyn
May 26, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Another good one! I appreciated Douglas Wilson's perspective on fidelity. Wilson dives into the heart of the matter by speaking on self-control and contentment. Those two elements were my favorite part of the book. These two virtues apply not only to fidelity but all of areas of life.

"Discipline in one area transfers to another, and lack of discipline in one area frequently overflows to others."

"if your decision is being driven at all by discontent, then do not do it."

4.0-4.5 stars
Joseph Schoolland
Very good.
William Duff
Jun 09, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: theology
Pretty straightforward.
Caleb Powers
Dec 28, 2019 rated it really liked it
I was really challenged in a good way with this book and its candid condemnations of sexual immorality. While, as is often the case with Douglas Wilson, I didn't agree with every point he made, this book is one I would recommend to men struggling with lust or with being a faithful husband.
Daniel
Mar 18, 2017 rated it liked it
Good appendix to Reforming Marriage. Reforming Marriage is the must-read book that will make you want to read all the others.
Gavin Breeden
Aug 03, 2012 rated it liked it
I read this because of the OTHER big Doug Wilson internet controversy recently and I liked this one more. I'm thankful that there's a book out there for Christian men that *very* bluntly discusses all things sexual. (Although, I'm sure many would object that Wilson goes too far in his bluntness at times and they're probably right, but Christians do need to be talking about these issues.)

It's a Doug Wilson book, so there's a few weird things here. Again, his view of OT laws leads him to some stra
...more
Jacob Meiser
Jan 07, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Written for men in non-ambiguous language, this book attempts to give a biblical analysis of common issues of infidelity. Wilson starts by explaining his rationale for speaking plainly, without quibbles over buzzwords, but i did not find this book needlessly provocative at all. It is only in the second last chapter that I felt he got near the line; others may think differently.

Though it is mainly geared toward married men, I found a lot of it to be very helpful for my future and present. The bi
...more
Chris Comis
Feb 10, 2009 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Any husbands or dads.
Shelves: paterfamilias
Another butt-kickin' good time with Pastor Wilson.

I read this a while ago, but then just finished it again for a men's group we have at our church.

Wilson is great at applying all of Scripture to all of family life. This is definitely his strong suit. I always tell people that if they want an introduction to Covenant Theology by way of family life and practice, then they should begin by reading Wilson's stuff on the family. After reading it a second time through, I did notice some minor exegetica
...more
Corey
Feb 16, 2015 rated it liked it
I liked how straight-forward Wilson is in this book. It certainly helps when you publish your own books and have more flexibility with your tone, etc.. The book is biblical, and my favorite chapter was the last one where he offers solutions. I also appreciated the Q&A at the very end. However, I didn't love the KJV for all the scripture quotes, esp. considering that each chapter had a quite a few. Slowed down my reading and added more work for me to interpret. I felt challenged at points and was ...more
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I write in order to make the little voices in my head go away. Thus far it hasn't worked.

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