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Fidelity: What It Means to Be a One-Woman Man

4.15  ·  Rating details ·  409 ratings  ·  75 reviews
Addressed to men, 'Fidelity' hits hard, using clear language, focusing on specific sins with specific solutions: adultery, divorce, polygamy, celibacy, pornography, and more. But in the end, the antidote to all sexual temptation is simple - the godly honoring of the marriage bed.
Paperback, 168 pages
Published January 10th 2004 by Canon Press (first published December 6th 1999)
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4.15  · 
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 ·  409 ratings  ·  75 reviews

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Peter Jones
Feb 22, 2018 rated it it was amazing
The very first Douglas Wilson book I read. Reading it again years later, it is just as helpful. A book on sexual faithfulness is often so bland as to be unhelpful, in particular in our porn saturated age where most of us were exposed to deviant sexual acts at a young age. Wilson with the type of straightforward teaching he is known for dives into various sexual perversions and tells us how to think about them Biblically. Two things about the book are worth mentioning.

First, he covers just about
Ingrid Iasmin
Jan 29, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Em uma sociedade extremamente sexualizada "Fidelidade" vem confrontando, de maneira bíblica, os vários aspectos da vida sexual. Uma leitura muito importante para a igreja (homens e mulheres).
Alan Alexandrino
Como falamos no Ceará: Uma varada no espinhaço!

Um livro confrontador, mas cheio de esperança e graça!
Matthew Huff
Jul 10, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Thorough. Edifying. Convicting. Inspiring. Fantastic. Wilson.
May 08, 2008 rated it liked it
Shelves: spiritual-kog
I liked that the author drew heavily on Scripture for his convictions. He is at times witty, and he is always sure of what he writes.

Poignant Quotes:
"To meditate on our position in Christ is one preventative measure, and to consider the fleeting nature of sexual immorality is another."

"Christian men are to be fully satisfied at home."

"Notice here that lusts are not just wrong, they are deceitful liars. The endless pleasure promised is not delivered, and the pain and heartache that follows was ne
Konrad Holden
Apr 07, 2019 rated it really liked it
As always, Wilson is uproariously hilarious, while still being downright serious.

And also as always, Wilson makes applications some may not agree with, but his principles must always be reckoned with first.

Above all, this book places the onus for sexual fidelity and sexual prosperity in marriage on the man, while providing proper nuance so wives can be a kind, helpful lover in the process.
David De
Jan 10, 2019 rated it really liked it
The chapter "Sexual Solution" should probably be read by every married man.
Péricles Bessoni
Jun 12, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Mas que livro BOM!
Aaron Ventura
Dec 12, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Updated Review 2019:
Canon Press had me read this out loud for a forthcoming audiobook version. It was great to go back and review this material and I was reminded of how full of uncomfortable sexual language is in it. But all extremely practical and helpful. Still a must read for every man.

Review 2016:
Every dude should read this book. Super convicting, super encouraging, and thoroughly biblical (as usual). Wilson at his best.
Steven Wedgeworth
Jun 10, 2011 rated it it was amazing
A very important book on a subject that enough people are willing to address. It is done biblically and with dignity.
Oct 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Excellent, a must read for men
Aurora Grace
Mar 08, 2019 rated it did not like it
Shelves: dominionism
The book that landed Wilson in controversial waters a few years back when it was found that the book described intercourse as male conquest of the female. But the book's sins go further than this, advocating for appalling sexual advice, including discredited theories about aids (he cites conspiracist Peter Deusberg), and chapters offering profound and shocking misreadings of texts regarding pornography, premarital and extramarital sex, and LGBTQ issues (to the surprise of no one). About the only ...more
Lucas Marinho
Dec 26, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Um livro de leitura absolutamente necessária tanto para homens casados, quanto para os que almejam o matrimônio. Sem delongas, e sem "rodeios" Douglas Wilson trata de assuntos espinhosos, e que por falta de certos cuidados vêem se tornando motivo de grande tropeço para jovens solteiros e homens casados. Apesar de não oferecer uma "receita pronta" de como vencer determinadas práticas, Wilson por meio de um direcionamento bíblico aponta bons caminhos para vencer práticas imorais de cunho sexual, q ...more
Aug 18, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Helpful, relevant, and necessary

As DW writes- “The point in this book has not been to talk about sex unnecessarily. The Bible addresses this, and so must we. Because we as Christians have not gone to the Bible for our answers, we have found ourselves in the midst of a pagan culture which does not hesitate in its attempts to seduce us, and we for some reason have decided amongst ourselves to never talk about what they are doing to us. This, as the consequences show, is a recipe for disaster.”
Brance Gillihan
Feb 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This should be a must read for every Christian man. This is what Mark Driscoll’s book Real Marriage tried to be and failed miserably at. While Driscoll was immature and worldly in much of his advice, Wilson was biblical, mature, thoughtful, and helpful while still being just as direct and blunt. I highly recommend this one!
James Shrimpton
Jan 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I didn't agree every conclusion in here, but on the rare occasion when I didn't, I could at least see where he got there. As always, Doug Wilson is hard hitting, refreshing and a joy to read. I read it in a day.
Nov 28, 2018 rated it really liked it
Blunt to the point without being crass. A needed treatment of the subject with many edifying points. Well-considered. I would recommend.
Thiago McHertt
Nov 10, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: i-own-it, 2018
Segunda leitura.
Muito bom. Prático e direto sobre questões de sexualidade e pureza.
Sean McGowan
Much practical widsom in this book.
Nov 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites
This book should be in the hands of every boy, man, girl, and woman, single or married.
Aug 14, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: domestic-harmony
A very brave and, therefore, useful book. Some of the positive teaching at the end was especially helpful.

Loved it even more on this second read.
Scott Daniels
Jan 14, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: christian
Must read for all men.
Mar 18, 2017 rated it liked it
Good appendix to Reforming Marriage. Reforming Marriage is the must-read book that will make you want to read all the others.
Gavin Breeden
Aug 03, 2012 rated it liked it
Shelves: 2012-reads
I read this because of the OTHER big Doug Wilson internet controversy recently and I liked this one more. I'm thankful that there's a book out there for Christian men that *very* bluntly discusses all things sexual. (Although, I'm sure many would object that Wilson goes too far in his bluntness at times and they're probably right, but Christians do need to be talking about these issues.)

It's a Doug Wilson book, so there's a few weird things here. Again, his view of OT laws leads him to some stra
Jacob Meiser
Jan 07, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Written for men in non-ambiguous language, this book attempts to give a biblical analysis of common issues of infidelity. Wilson starts by explaining his rationale for speaking plainly, without quibbles over buzzwords, but i did not find this book needlessly provocative at all. It is only in the second last chapter that I felt he got near the line; others may think differently.

Though it is mainly geared toward married men, I found a lot of it to be very helpful for my future and present. The bi
Nov 29, 2008 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: pastors preparing to teach on masculine sexuality
Shelves: faith, restoryinglife
Initially, my greatest frustration with this book wasn't the content, after all, Wilson works extensively with the Scripture and does a solid job of placing it in context (although, meaning derived from the various Greek tenses seems to be slightly off), but it's the style in which it's written. While he frequently talks about speaking plainly, his language is somewhat archaic and has a feel of pompous piety which, makes for a less than smooth and often frustrating read.

That being said, by and l
Chris Comis
Feb 10, 2009 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Any husbands or dads.
Shelves: paterfamilias
Another butt-kickin' good time with Pastor Wilson.

I read this a while ago, but then just finished it again for a men's group we have at our church.

Wilson is great at applying all of Scripture to all of family life. This is definitely his strong suit. I always tell people that if they want an introduction to Covenant Theology by way of family life and practice, then they should begin by reading Wilson's stuff on the family. After reading it a second time through, I did notice some minor exegetica
Feb 16, 2015 rated it liked it
I liked how straight-forward Wilson is in this book. It certainly helps when you publish your own books and have more flexibility with your tone, etc.. The book is biblical, and my favorite chapter was the last one where he offers solutions. I also appreciated the Q&A at the very end. However, I didn't love the KJV for all the scripture quotes, esp. considering that each chapter had a quite a few. Slowed down my reading and added more work for me to interpret. I felt challenged at points and ...more
Grant Little
Jan 09, 2011 rated it really liked it
Great book. It really is an eye opener to how men need to treat and be satisfied with their woman. Were all sinners and to have someone explain Gods commandments about marriage is always helpful. Douglas Wilson does a very good job at being blunt and pointing out specific scenarios that all men can relate too. Every boy and married man should read this for the sake of knowing what God wanted for His picture of marriage. A marriage like Christ and the church.
Aug 31, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Excellent book. It was helpful to me back when I was single and struggling with the temptations of lust and pornography. It was helpful to me now years later as a married man as I tried to discern how to handle situations like less-than-half-clad women at the local water park. Lots of practical, and yes, frank wisdom. Timely, too, in light of recent failings of leaders in the church. Being over-confident in this area is asking for judgment.

Will definitely read again over the years.
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I write in order to make the little voices in my head go away. Thus far it hasn't worked.
“if God doesn’t want us to do it, He doesn’t want us to get pleasure from thinking about doing it” 1 likes
“A man cannot simultaneously want the salvation of God, and desire to remain in the sin from which God saves.” 0 likes
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