Relationships Unfiltered: Help for Youth Workers, Volunteers, and Parents on Creating Authentic Relationships

by Andrew Root

For more than 50 years, relational or incarnational ministry has been a major focus in youth ministry. But for too long, those relationships have been used as tools—as a means to an end—where adults try to influence students to accept, know, trust, believe, or participate in something. While our motives may be good, it’s possible that by focusing on these goals, we’re not ministering the whole person. When we choose not to engage in the full life of a student, we run the risk of failing them and our ministry. In this thoughtful and insightful book, Andrew Root challenges us to reconsider our motives and begin to consider simply being with and doing life alongside teenagers with no agenda other than to love them right where they are, by place-sharing. As he shares stories of his (and others’) successes and failures in relational youth ministry, you’ll find practical ideas to help you recreate the role of relationships in your youth ministry. If you’re involved in the lives of teenagers, whether as a youth pastor, volunteer youth worker, church leader, or parent, you’ll want to read this book and work together to discover the value of place-sharing in the lives of teens. You’ll see that it’s time to tear down the old structure of relational youth ministry and start again.

Genres: Theology, Nonfiction, Leadership

176 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Andrew Root joined Luther Seminary in 2005 as assistant professor of youth and family ministry. Previously he was an adjunct professor at Wesley Theological Seminary, Washington D.C., and Princeton Theological Seminary, Princeton, N.J.

Root received his bachelor of arts degree from Bethel College, St. Paul, Minn., in 1997. He earned his master of divinity (2000) and his master of theology (2001) degrees from Fuller Theological Seminary, Pasadena, Calif. He completed his doctoral degree from Princeton Theological Seminary in 2005.

Root's ministry experience includes being a gang prevention counselor in Los Angeles, youth outreach directed in a congregation, staff member of Young Life, and a confirmation teacher. He has also been a research fellow for Princeton Theological Seminary's Faith Practices Project.

Root has published articles in the Journal of Youth and Theology, The International Journal of Practical Theology, and Word and World.

He is a member of the International Association for the Study of Youth Ministry and the International Bonhoeffer Society.

Reviews

[Heidi Goehmann]

I had no idea “relational youth ministry” was a thing a trend for ministry. Lots of the concepts here seem very common sense for living a life In Jewish, believing His death, resurrection, and those 33 years He walked among us say more to us than giant theological words. But relationships take work and we have to start learning how to do them again if we are going to be an authentic incarnation of the Church stretching her arms out to the world. This book is a good place to start.

[Alex English]

This is an awesome ministry book that served to remind me of the important paradigm shift that Root wrote about in Revisiting Relational Youth Ministry. Highly recommended to my fellow youth ministers, and potentially useful to Christians who work with youth in other contexts.

[Carol Wunderlich]

Write a review...Really have to say that I disagree with the whole premis of this book. I understand teh author is trying to say we need to get beyond the idea of "fixing" students and move to more significant christian mentoring relationships... but to negate or deny our intentions about forming firendships to share the gospel is disingenuous and a little creepy. Jesus' incarnational minsitry was all about transformning those he met... and that is the task he left for the church too... not friendship for the sake of freindship.



I have found that kids respect us more when we are honest about wherer we are coming from in our attempts to relate to them. they will see through anyone adult who tries to befirend them for the sake of being friends. No matter what we do, we won't reach everyone - even Jesus had people walk away from him and even disciples fall away.

[Katarina]

The staff members at my (college) church read this book, as our Pastor felt it was applicable to campus ministry as well as youth. I would say I have to agree with him: although it focuses specifically on problems in youth ministry models, the solution/ ideas presented are relevant to all types of ministry. I felt the beginning was tedious, as Andrew Root sought to make the problem as clear as possible, often repeating himself. However, once the book turned to what relational ministry (the proposed solution) is, and what basis we have for it biblically, it became very interesting. I think a lot of the material was rather common-sense (in retrospect) but as I was reading, I found the arguments compelling and inspiring. I'm glad to she read this book, and I will definitely keep this one on my shelf.

[Crystal]

This is a MUST read for anyone involved in the life of a tween, pre-teen, or teenager. I might go as far as saying it's a MUST read for anyone involved in the life of a church. Andrew Root does a remarkable job of defining the role of the youth worker - both paid and volunteer. Relational youth ministry is all about being present in the lives of kids - it's no different than having a relationship with anyone else. No special knowledge is required, just a willingness to be open to sharing life together.

I highly recommend this book to all people involved in congregational life.

[Sarah]

I've read "Relationships Unfiltered" as well as "Revisiting Relational Youth Ministry;" this book is a practical, on-the-ground resource and conversation starter for people engaged in youth ministry. Root argues relationships are the heart of youth ministry - not merely to influence youth to be Christian. Relationships are a means to their own end. It's in those relationships that God is present and, while we are called to share the Gospel, we follow Jesus' example. We share the joys and burdens of life, allowing God to speak through our actions and conversation without forcing it on others.

[Thresa Davis]

This book should be read by anyone that has a relationship with well, anyone! Andrew Root takes the "come along side mentoring" of the small groups model a giant step further. He speaks instead of "Place Sharing" a relational model in which there are no magic words to lessen pain & suffering. Instead of standing beside, you step right into the middle of where the person is at & try to feel & understand what it is to be where THEY ARE. A book that should be read more than once.

[Dustin Thompson]

Good book overall. However beware of his explanations of the gospel. At times he runs the risk of using the gospel to push his (granted very great and helpful) ideas. At other times he risks claiming that Jesus' purpose on earth was nothing more than to "just be with us". My advice: take hold of the practical ideas presented, learn much about relational youth ministry that is honest and powerful, and take Root's theological analyses with a grain of salt.

[Adam]

Great read. Really challenged the way I had understood "relational ministry." Identifying the relationship as the concrete place where God dwells is beautiful.

[Jim]

This is an excellent primer for the theology of youth ministry.