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Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch
Inside this book you will find,Funny nonsense from my mind.Zany rhymes and slimy tales,Creepy crawlies leaving bloody trails.And a clever slug that shocks,Tales about Cinders and Goldilocks.Cabbages, slugs and Elias Zapple,What rhymes with Zapple apart from apple?Fun and craziness! (You'll have a good time),There's even some that do not rhyme!Read the book, there's so much more,Or my slugs and I will go to war!
84 pages, Paperback
First published May 8, 2014
About the author
Elias Zapple
97 books56 followersElias Zapple was not born in 1922, as some would have you believe. His date of birth is not really relevant anyway. What is relevant is that he arose out of a tulip that was growing in some old granny's garden in Camberwell. How he got to be in a tulip is not really clear, nor is it clear how he got out of the tulip and years later wrote the smash hit musical, 'Love be a Stranger', which was an international flop.
After that success, he went on to work as a 19th century Victorian chimney sweep where he was then inspired to write the acclaimed series of books entitled 'Duke & Michel'. It is believed the fumes from the chimneys did so much damage to Elias that it was a miracle he ever ate a cupcake again.
Later, he time travelled back to the present and went on a series of trips to many foreign and distant lands. During these travels, Elias met and spoke to many interesting people, choosing to ignore all of them. He did, however, learn a couple of things. 1) The earth is flat and 2) You should never eat a banana when it's not ripe.
Many questions are often asked by his adoring public. Are you human? How many chimpanzees can fit inside a fridge? What is that thing growing on the side of your head? To which Mr Zapple has always smiled, turned away and swum off into the sunset, only once being bitten by an unfriendly shark.
Elias Zapple continues to work towards the unification of Korea and writing children's stories that parents will spend huge sums of money on. He wishes everybody to know that every penny made from the books will go straight into his bank account, which he will then spend on a lavish, new tent.
After that success, he went on to work as a 19th century Victorian chimney sweep where he was then inspired to write the acclaimed series of books entitled 'Duke & Michel'. It is believed the fumes from the chimneys did so much damage to Elias that it was a miracle he ever ate a cupcake again.
Later, he time travelled back to the present and went on a series of trips to many foreign and distant lands. During these travels, Elias met and spoke to many interesting people, choosing to ignore all of them. He did, however, learn a couple of things. 1) The earth is flat and 2) You should never eat a banana when it's not ripe.
Many questions are often asked by his adoring public. Are you human? How many chimpanzees can fit inside a fridge? What is that thing growing on the side of your head? To which Mr Zapple has always smiled, turned away and swum off into the sunset, only once being bitten by an unfriendly shark.
Elias Zapple continues to work towards the unification of Korea and writing children's stories that parents will spend huge sums of money on. He wishes everybody to know that every penny made from the books will go straight into his bank account, which he will then spend on a lavish, new tent.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
July 30, 2014
I wish I had this when I was a kid!
I’m a huge fan of the strange, odd, and macabre. When I was younger I devoured stuff by Charles Addams, Tim Burton and Roald Dahl. That being said, this book of rhymes by Elias Zapple, this wonderfully twisted, off the wall collection of weird to even weirder characters and stories written in some of the catchiest poetry I have read in a long time, this is genius! A modern classic! I just wish this was available when I was about oh, seven or eight years of age. In fact this would be wonderfully appropriate into the tween years.
Some of this stuff will be repeated, talked and joked about by young boys and girls for a long time after reading it, especially the collection of mischievous takes on classic children stories and nursery rhymes toward the end of the book. What fun kids will have after reading this book. I am so jealous!
Mr. Elias Zapple, we all know you are as old as dirt, maybe even older. Why oh why didn’t you write this thirty years ago!? What great memories this would have made! But oh well, I have it now! And I’ll read it again and again!!
Get this book!
I’m a huge fan of the strange, odd, and macabre. When I was younger I devoured stuff by Charles Addams, Tim Burton and Roald Dahl. That being said, this book of rhymes by Elias Zapple, this wonderfully twisted, off the wall collection of weird to even weirder characters and stories written in some of the catchiest poetry I have read in a long time, this is genius! A modern classic! I just wish this was available when I was about oh, seven or eight years of age. In fact this would be wonderfully appropriate into the tween years.
Some of this stuff will be repeated, talked and joked about by young boys and girls for a long time after reading it, especially the collection of mischievous takes on classic children stories and nursery rhymes toward the end of the book. What fun kids will have after reading this book. I am so jealous!
Mr. Elias Zapple, we all know you are as old as dirt, maybe even older. Why oh why didn’t you write this thirty years ago!? What great memories this would have made! But oh well, I have it now! And I’ll read it again and again!!
Get this book!
June 9, 2014
I thought this book was quite funny, if a little gory at times, but we had two little visitors, 6 and 8, over the weekend and they thought it was hilarious! Beyond hilarious, actually because the 8 year old had to read it over and over again to the six year old.
They are outside now building a slug farm. So, great result. I would definitely recommend Zapple's Rhymes to children with a quirky sense of humor.
I look forward to reading the Duke and Michel series too.
They are outside now building a slug farm. So, great result. I would definitely recommend Zapple's Rhymes to children with a quirky sense of humor.
I look forward to reading the Duke and Michel series too.
May 25, 2014
I was determined to dislike this book. After all, I'm the founder of the Bloomsbury slug sanctuary. I tried not to laugh, I really did. However, within a minute a strange twitchy feeling wiggled through my nose and I heard the sound of giggling. My own!
Mr. Zapple sounds an unusual sort of person and I can only express sympathy for his neighbour, Dieter, but oh! 'Sweet Cherry Pie'!! Actually perhaps I'd better not mention the cherry pie, it will only give kids ideas. So ignore that. But 'Humpty Dumpty'! I was totally in tune with Mr. Zapple's re-working of this ancient nursery rhyme. If not his treatment of his poor slugs.
I battled on, frowning as much as possible. I managed not to laugh at Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother's ID (this was quite a battle), but once I reached Goldilocks all was lost.
A disgraceful and wildly amusing book. With the emphasis on wild. Out of control, even. You'll need to ensure that it's downloaded to a secure location within your device, so that it doesn't give the other books ideas. I really shouldn't recommend it, but I can't help myself. Congrats to the illustrator for managing to cope with this tough assignment. Slugs rule!
Mr. Zapple sounds an unusual sort of person and I can only express sympathy for his neighbour, Dieter, but oh! 'Sweet Cherry Pie'!! Actually perhaps I'd better not mention the cherry pie, it will only give kids ideas. So ignore that. But 'Humpty Dumpty'! I was totally in tune with Mr. Zapple's re-working of this ancient nursery rhyme. If not his treatment of his poor slugs.
I battled on, frowning as much as possible. I managed not to laugh at Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother's ID (this was quite a battle), but once I reached Goldilocks all was lost.
A disgraceful and wildly amusing book. With the emphasis on wild. Out of control, even. You'll need to ensure that it's downloaded to a secure location within your device, so that it doesn't give the other books ideas. I really shouldn't recommend it, but I can't help myself. Congrats to the illustrator for managing to cope with this tough assignment. Slugs rule!
August 7, 2016
"Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch: Illustrated Children's Book" by Elias Zapple is an extremely funny book of hilariously absurd, funny and often very witty rhymes.
Split into two halfs the first section is mainly about odd characters, like Zapple's neighbour Dieter, specific slugs and whatever one might not expect next. Rhymes work always best with the unexpected and Zapple has plenty of those trumps of his sleeves. I hate the phrase but I did laugh out loud to the extent that my neighbours enquired about my wellbeing. over the garden fence.
The second half of the book contains rhymes based on nursery rhymes, all with delicious twists and unexpected added elements.
If you like off-the-wall humour this is definitely for you, original, quirky, mindful senseless and hugely enjoyable.
Split into two halfs the first section is mainly about odd characters, like Zapple's neighbour Dieter, specific slugs and whatever one might not expect next. Rhymes work always best with the unexpected and Zapple has plenty of those trumps of his sleeves. I hate the phrase but I did laugh out loud to the extent that my neighbours enquired about my wellbeing. over the garden fence.
The second half of the book contains rhymes based on nursery rhymes, all with delicious twists and unexpected added elements.
If you like off-the-wall humour this is definitely for you, original, quirky, mindful senseless and hugely enjoyable.
June 6, 2014
Elias Zapple has a very witty (and a bit dark) sense of humour, which is exactly why I love his work so much. I am not usually a fan of the twisted, but this book had me laughing out loud at a few spots! Some of the poems rhyme, some do not. Some rhyme and then have a sudden, deadpan line at the end which I love.
The fairytales are new takes on old classics. If you've ever wanted to see Cinderella get her revenge or Little Red join forces with the wolf ala Bonnie and Clyde, then you will love this book. Check it out or be slimed!
This book is top shelf!
***This book was featured on Destiny's Book Dig Up and is a winner of the unofficial Top Shelf book award***
The fairytales are new takes on old classics. If you've ever wanted to see Cinderella get her revenge or Little Red join forces with the wolf ala Bonnie and Clyde, then you will love this book. Check it out or be slimed!
This book is top shelf!
***This book was featured on Destiny's Book Dig Up and is a winner of the unofficial Top Shelf book award***
May 26, 2014
Great, vivid rhymes that are innovative and hilarious. Funny illustrations too.
August 1, 2014
Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch by Elias Zapple is one of these most exciting books that I have read to my grand kids in a while!
Chalked full of nonsense and rhymes and such cleverness from the author, the illustrations are just as wild and wacky!
I am still amused!
Chalked full of nonsense and rhymes and such cleverness from the author, the illustrations are just as wild and wacky!
I am still amused!
September 8, 2014
The most mischievous take on all those classic children's stories and nursery rhymes that I ever read. I got it for my kids, but then found myself laughing too hard myself, turning pages, asking for more.
We read Duke and Michel before, so were confidently expecting something delightfully wild. And it was, maybe even wilder, and maybe even funnier, although it's impossible to compare one hilarious read to another. Even my oldest, a 12 years old non-reader, was grabbing my Kindle to read some more.
What can I say? I love this author's humor, love the subtle sarcasm, love the illustrations, love the way he seems to never be afraid of crossing some lines. I'd say this book is as much for the grownups as it is for the children, and teens, and pre-teens. The humor and twists and turns alone would warrant all ages' attention.
Off to look for more books by this author!
We read Duke and Michel before, so were confidently expecting something delightfully wild. And it was, maybe even wilder, and maybe even funnier, although it's impossible to compare one hilarious read to another. Even my oldest, a 12 years old non-reader, was grabbing my Kindle to read some more.
What can I say? I love this author's humor, love the subtle sarcasm, love the illustrations, love the way he seems to never be afraid of crossing some lines. I'd say this book is as much for the grownups as it is for the children, and teens, and pre-teens. The humor and twists and turns alone would warrant all ages' attention.
Off to look for more books by this author!
July 23, 2014
Reading this book, I started out in hope of finding rhymes that flowed and made some sort of sense. I soon gave up on that, but was gradually getting sucked into the weird, gruesome, zaniness of the world according to Zapple. It made me smile, and I suspect that many adults and kids who crave the unusual will end up smiling while reading this book too!
Whether rhymes about characters in Elias Zapple's other books, or rhymes to completely tear apart what you thought you knew about nursery rhymes, this book delivers in unpredictability and laughs. Read it and see what you think! (Just don't expect anything ordinary, and bring along a robust sense of humour!)
Whether rhymes about characters in Elias Zapple's other books, or rhymes to completely tear apart what you thought you knew about nursery rhymes, this book delivers in unpredictability and laughs. Read it and see what you think! (Just don't expect anything ordinary, and bring along a robust sense of humour!)
August 3, 2014
With an author name like Elias Zapple, you can surely expect some very crazy stuff. Whoever it's aimed at, it is a fun book with some ghoulish rhymes that work fine by me, thank you very much. Think of it as a Dr Seuss type book but darker (and much much much more fun).
DISCLAIMER: I did not receive a free copy in exchange for a review. Nor did I buy my copy from Amazon or Barnes and Noble. I bought it from another retailer and loved it so much I decided to leave a review on amazon and Goodreads. Thank you.
DISCLAIMER: I did not receive a free copy in exchange for a review. Nor did I buy my copy from Amazon or Barnes and Noble. I bought it from another retailer and loved it so much I decided to leave a review on amazon and Goodreads. Thank you.
August 7, 2014
The perfect book to get a reading-phobic tween reading. Along with the delightful illustrations, a tongue in cheek humor runs through each poem that will keep the reader reading. Each poem is a tiny, humorous tale told with a great deal of rhythm and fun. It reminds me a bit of Shel Silverstein with a Brit accent and a love of animals.
These fun poems my become a new guilty pleasure for your library avoidant offspring. For .99, how could you go wrong?
These fun poems my become a new guilty pleasure for your library avoidant offspring. For .99, how could you go wrong?
August 5, 2014
Elias with his humorous writing is directed to young readers with a very witty sense of humour. The second half of the book has rhymes based on nursery rhymes, all with twists. I was gifted the book for an honest and true review. Great Fun Rhyming Book for children very much enjoyed.
July 31, 2014
I *love* Zapple's books. They are so brilliant and fun for my cousins, they adore Elias's stories. We should always got to trust kids!
Can't wait for another new Zapple's book, they became my favourite gift for the kids I know!
Can't wait for another new Zapple's book, they became my favourite gift for the kids I know!
August 6, 2014
Silly book of rhymes. Re-tellings of popular classics. I read it first to see if it would be appropriate for my kids. Not quite on all of them, but there were a few safe enough share. I loved poetry when I was young myself and this proves poetry can be fun :)
August 4, 2014
Elias Zapple’s original rhymes are wicked fun! Very clever and well done. Maybe this is for kids – the grandkids certainly enjoyed it - but it’s for the young at heart as well. I loved it.
July 30, 2014
It really is funny. The illustrated story is a great way to get you laughing. Recommend this book. I look forward to reading other books by this author.
August 4, 2014
Zany is Right!
This is a fantastic collection of fun! The author has a unique and refreshing style that will be sure to delight kids of all ages, from nine to ninety!
This is a fantastic collection of fun! The author has a unique and refreshing style that will be sure to delight kids of all ages, from nine to ninety!
August 2, 2014
This is a book for the kid in all of us, but not for children. Zapple has a wicked sense of humor which will make you laugh out loud at certain points. This gets five stars for it's originality.
November 23, 2015
This is dark humor set to rhyme, which I enjoyed, but I wouldn't place this book into the hands of the wee ones without parental guidance. Of course, the old traditional German fairy tales probably shocked more than these tales will. However, don't expect Mr. Zapples's nursery rhymes to have happy endings. I found the rhymes about slugs to be the most entertaining, and they may be the most palatable to children. The tales, not necessarily the slugs, as were enjoyed by the narrator in the rhymes. The cabbage tales of war also struck an excellent note and were among my favorites.
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November 27, 20171) This book has not won any awards
2) It is suited for readers in 3rd-5th grade
3) The book includes many different well known nursery rhymes such as Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Goldilocks and the three bears, Humpty Dumpty, and more while also including new ones. However, the book twists these nursery rhymes in quite a weird way by including things such as slugs and even slug farms.
4) One of the best things about this book is the variety of different nursery rhymes. There are old and new ones for readers to enjoy. Also, with the silliness and gross-factor of including slugs for some strange reason, students will definitely be drawn in.
5) There would be two uses for this book in my classroom. The first would be that I would have my students get into groups and perform some of these nursery rhymes in skits. This would be silly and fun for the students while they build their comprehension of the stories themselves. The second would be that I would have my students meet again in these groups and attempt to come up with their own short and silly (but appropriate) nursery rhymes that they could present to the class.
2) It is suited for readers in 3rd-5th grade
3) The book includes many different well known nursery rhymes such as Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Goldilocks and the three bears, Humpty Dumpty, and more while also including new ones. However, the book twists these nursery rhymes in quite a weird way by including things such as slugs and even slug farms.
4) One of the best things about this book is the variety of different nursery rhymes. There are old and new ones for readers to enjoy. Also, with the silliness and gross-factor of including slugs for some strange reason, students will definitely be drawn in.
5) There would be two uses for this book in my classroom. The first would be that I would have my students get into groups and perform some of these nursery rhymes in skits. This would be silly and fun for the students while they build their comprehension of the stories themselves. The second would be that I would have my students meet again in these groups and attempt to come up with their own short and silly (but appropriate) nursery rhymes that they could present to the class.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews