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Fat Vampire: A Never Coming of Age Story

2.87  ·  Rating details ·  2,690 ratings  ·  660 reviews
Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it's just not the same.

Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her—hard. Yeah, he wants
Hardcover, 324 pages
Published July 27th 2010 by Balzer + Bray
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2.87  · 
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 ·  2,690 ratings  ·  660 reviews

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This was one of those books that started out funny and full of potential, but somewhere along the way the author strayed off that path. I wanted to read this for myself since the reviews were all over the place, but I'm sorry to say that this just wasn't great. As others have said, at the halfway point this book really starts to go downhill; the characters and story lose their charm, and what once was funny becomes sad and disappointing.

Doug Lee is a recently made 15-year-old vampire, who also h
Kimberly Francisco
What a mess. The first half to two-thirds was really promising, but it disintegrated almost completely. My main problem was that the main character, Doug, starts off as a fairly likable but imperfect nerdy guy and transforms into the most unlikable protagonist I've ever read. And there's no real transition for it either - in one chapter he's amusingly trying to deal with being a "fat vampire" (lots of humor, great one-liners, joking around with his best friend, some moderate angst) and in the ne ...more
Aug 09, 2010 rated it did not like it
There is nothing to like about this book. And, believe me, I wanted to like it. I wanted to like it so much.

Doug, the main character, is fifteen, fat, and a vampire. He isn't cool. He'll never be cool, and his life is, quite literally, over. Plus, he's a total comic book fanboy. To the point where the book starts at Comic Con. With a premise like that, this book should have been a slam dunk.

But... it wasn't. It failed on all levels. Doug goes from being nerdy and awesome to obnoxious and annoy
Jul 27, 2010 rated it did not like it
This is the first book I can remember being so angry at that I wanted to throw it across the room. I think my extreme frustration partly stems from the fact that I wanted to love it. I loved the premise, I saw Adam Rex at Comic Con and he was awesome, and I snagged a signed copy of this book there. I started reading it that night (it starts in Comic Con as a nice bonus) and it was funny and nerdy and Doug and Jay were great as geeky best friends trying to figure out Doug's new life as a vampire. ...more
Novel Novice
Feb 15, 2011 rated it really liked it
It’s been a long time since I’ve read a book that made me laugh out loud as much as Fat Vampire by Adam Rex. I mean literally, sitting in bed, home alone and cracking up. Loud, hysterical laughter. Laughter so hard, I had to put down the book to compose myself, then call my mom to read her a passage, and insist that she read this book the minute I was done with it. (She now has it in her possession. And then my dad has dibs.)

Fat Vampire tells the story of Doug, who finds himself accidentally a v
Mar 02, 2010 rated it it was amazing
The BEST vampire book in the history of EVERYTHING.
Up until this morning when I finished this book, Peeps by Scott Westerfeld was the best vampire book in the history of everything. And i thought it would remain that way.
But the mighty, mighty hand of Adam Rex has bitch-slapped Peeps out of the way and stolen that title for Fat Vampire.
It sheds a whole new light on "The Ennobled" -as the Signora Cassopeia calls them- and surpasses the luminous blacklight that Parasite Positives (or "Peeps") had
Booklover Butterfly
Fat Vampire by Adam Rex starts off with a lot of potential. We meet Doug Lee, a chubby fifteen year old vampire who isn't the most popular or charismatic teen. We also meet Doug's nerdy best friend Jay. For the first 50 -100 pages, I was quite amused by the struggles of Doug as a newbie vampire and by all the shenanigans Jay and Doug got into. Then all of a sudden Sejal, a love interest for Doug, and a bunch of other people including teens and older vampires got involved and it went downhill. Th ...more
Gecky Boz
Sep 17, 2010 rated it it was ok
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Savannah (Books With Bite)
Sep 20, 2010 rated it it was amazing

This book was interesting and hilarious. I love how it was written, from a male point of view, which you don't see much. Also it was written by a male author.

I knew from the moment I layed eyes on this book that I would enjoy it immensely and that I did. Right from the beginning, you were thrown into this geeky, fat boys world of trying to make it as a fat vampire. I felt for him during his hardships. He struggle in feeding, as well in other areas.

I was glad to see he go help through a mentor.
Gwen the Librarian
Jun 16, 2010 rated it did not like it
Shelves: paranormal, teenbooks
I really wanted to like this book because I like Adam Rex and the cover art is the best EVER. But I found the story a bit confusing, the moral a bit heavy-handed, and the whole thing just not that entertaining in general. It took me forever to get through it because I just wasn't that jazzed to get back to it. Bummer.

Doug is a fifteen-year-old, chubby nerd who is bitten in an off-putting encounter with another fifteen-year-old jock vampire. Now he is stuck in his body forever, doesn't know how e
Absolutely fantastic. There is just no other way to say it. FAT VAMPIRE spoofs the hell out of everything that is vampire nowadays but maintains this underlying tone of seriousness that really hits home. Underneath it all it's about a kid fitting in in life. How many kids now are all vampire obsessed and want to turn into a vampire? Well Adam Rex takes that notion and slaps reality home like a puck into a net. If you're a meatball-looking geek in life, then guess what? You're going to be a meatb ...more
Book Twirps
Jul 24, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Doug is having a hard time getting the hang of this whole vampire thing. First of all, he is only about 5’5 and overweight. He’d been meaning to workout and lose some weight, but he was bitten before he could do that, so now he is eternally damned to be forever fat. It’s not exactly an ideal situation for a vampire. To make matters worse, he has no idea what he is doing. There’s no manual, he has no mentor, and everything that Bram Stoker wrote in Dracula seems to be wrong. He is afraid of turni ...more
Paula Gallagher
Jan 29, 2010 rated it it was ok
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Jul 12, 2010 rated it it was ok
Shelves: para-vampires
It was refreshing to read about a vampire that wasn't physically perfect. All too often, the people who are turned into vampires already possess unearthly beauty. The only outside flaws they exhibit result from some horrific torture years after becoming vampires. In Fat Vampire, Doug is an outcast, overweight teen. When he is turned, nothing changes. He faces being unattractive forever. Seeing a vampire character deal with this type of reality was definitely intriguing.

Unfortunately, Doug has a
Aug 05, 2013 rated it it was ok
I'm confused.

It almost felt like an anthology of Fat Vampire stories. You have your funny, steal-blood-from-a-blood-bus-at-SDCC, paranormal comedy at the start, and then... a slightly more complicated, paranormal-but-still-mildly-funny-mystery around the middle, and then the last third is a tangle of various story threads and attempts at being deep and metaphorical and intelligent and...


So many story threads that seemed disconnected, that didn't get tied up, that were just there for
Sep 08, 2016 rated it it was amazing
This was a really fun book and I'm glad I came across it. I was just browsing around on Overdrive (you need to google it if you don't know what it is and you like audiobooks) and the cherry slushy on the cover caught my eye. I'm on a low sugar diet and I was all, "Oh man does that look freaking incredible...Reading that book will be like drinking a delicious cherry slushy but without the sugar!" Of course, this book is about vampires, so it did eventually dawn on me that the main ingredient in t ...more
Michael Araujo
Mar 19, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: vampires
Every vampire that we have met in the new age are all the same. Brooding, mysterious, perfect looking men who fall in love with the human girl. Are people afraid to show the imperfect vampires? Say the short, fat one who no one likes and every girl will laugh in their face as they try to be mysterious? Well, fear no more, for one author has given us that. Let us all applaud Adam Rex!

Whenever we think of vampires, we think of Anne Rice’s Louis and Lestate, Stephenie Meyer’s Edward Cullen and Cha
Ringo The Cat
Sep 17, 2010 rated it liked it
Shelves: young-adult, ya
Not long ago, I read a book with one of the best titles I’d read in a long while (How to say goodbye in Robot by Natalie Standiford). Fat Vampire, on the other hand, might very well have the best book cover in a long while… I know, you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but hey, in this over-mediatized world of teenage drama, an eye-catching cover might just do the trick, right? And catching your eye, it does (care for a blood slushee, anyone?).
Needless to say the cover raised my interest, an
Rachel Brown
Aug 18, 2012 rated it it was ok
Shelves: young-adult, fantasy
A fat geeky teenage boy, Doug, becomes the world's least glamorous vampire in Rex's second novel. This one is nowhere near as assured or successful as Smekday.

It alternates narratives between Doug and Senjal, an Indian exchange student with an internet addiction. Doug's narration is dead-on as a geeky teenage boy. Senjal is potentially interesting but comes across more as a narrative construct than a flesh-and-blood character. But I was enjoying it, mostly for Doug's narration, until, at the two
Suzanne (Doppleganger)
Jul 12, 2010 rated it it was ok
Shelves: ya, vampires
Rex writes great funny dialogue, which kept me going for the first half of the book. The concept of a socially awkward, overweight teen being stuck in a body that will never change is unique and intriguing as well, and refreshing in light of the trend towards YA vampire romance books.

The second half of the book seemed stagnant. Plots that were set up in the first half of the book didn't progress, and characters that were developed so well in the first half didn't do anything interesting. The gre
Nov 24, 2009 rated it it was ok
Oh my god, how did I not know that Adam Rex was writing a new novel until it showed up on my desk???
Jun 05, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Review crossposted from my book review blog.

This may be the funniest parody vampire story I’ve yet read. The author really has a good way with understated humor. His funny use of language isn’t “look everyone, I’m so clever!” like some I’ve read. It’s just there, and you can either find it funny or not. It’s humor that doesn’t beg the reader to find it funny. The dialogue and actions of the characters all seem very real, and that realness and sometimes awkwardness is where a lot of the humor com
Amy Layton
Dec 31, 2018 rated it really liked it
I know a lot of the reviews have been very mixed in regards to this book, and I think I know why.  Or at least, this is how I justify those.  The first half of the book is filled with funny one-liners, zingers, and joking despair about being 15 and fat for the rest of eternity.  The second half is more satire.  For instance, Doug is rather unhappy at his new situation, sometimes takes jabs at his best friend, and is head over heels with the new exchange student.  But in the second half, he doesn ...more
Cecily Kyle
May 06, 2016 rated it it was ok
I think the cover art is cool and even the concept I was able to come up with from the title seemed interesting but poorly executed. Nothing really happened, and I was waiting to like the story but it just never really picked up and I was just looking forward to being over.
Aug 04, 2014 rated it it was ok
Fat Vampire sounded really fun! And it was for the most part! There was just one major issue, and one more minor one, that I could not get passed. It started off great though. Doug is newly undead, but he doesn't know how he got that way. He's kind of on his own figuring out how to be a vampire, with his best friend offering not so helpful suggestions. Then, a late night feeding at the zoo goes wrong, and the Vampire Hunters show is after him. Of course, they've never found a real vampire until ...more
Jul 16, 2011 rated it it was ok
Shelves: for-work
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Feb 23, 2010 rated it liked it
Shelves: american-lit, ya, fantasy
Ugh. I have not been looking forward to writing this review. My feelings about this book are deeply conflicted. Let me try to break it down.

1. I don’t like this book as much as Rex’s previous novel, The True Meaning of Smekday, which is clever and funny and just...very near perfect. That’s hard to follow, and it was perhaps smart of Rex to try something completely different. However...

2. Goddamn, is this book dark. It’s still funny, because Rex is a funny writer, but for a book that could easily
Sophie Riggsby / allthingsequilateral
3.5 out of 5 stars (yes, I round up)

I'll be honest, I loved the cover. I craved a cherry ICEE (yes, I realize that's not a cherry flavor pictured) the entire time I read the book. I also laughed, smirked and chuckled way more than I ever thought I would because of the writing style and the predicaments of the main character.

Adam does a fantastic job at capturing outcast Doug's voice and personality. As an overweight, geeky kid who attends Comic-Con with his human best friend, Jay, Doug's charact
Dec 21, 2010 rated it liked it
Shelves: young-adult
In the slew of vampire books that have hit the YA market since a certain saga launched, some of them have tried to take a stab (bite?) at the humorous approach (Catherine Jinks' Reformed Vampire Support Group, Sucks to be Me, etc.) Some have succeeded with a decent amount of charm (Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side but after reading Rex's book, it seems that half as succeeded so well as his at actually being flat-out FUNNY. One of Rex's real fortes is his dialogue; he has a whip-sharp i ...more
Kiera Healy
May 07, 2013 rated it it was ok
Fat Vampire is not as terrible as some of the books I've read lately, but it's not great either. It's a weirdly disjointed book. There are massive time gaps between some chapters - we go from the titular character being an awkward mess to being a smooth operator with a girlfriend he's drinking blood from in literally one scene break.

It tries very hard to be funny, but it's really not. Maybe it's just not my style of humour, but the book is filled with set-pieces that don't work. It doesn't help
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Reading log #10 1 8 Feb 05, 2012 09:02PM  

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Adam Rex grew up in Phoenix, Arizona, the middle of three children. He was neither the smart one (older brother) or the cute one (younger sister), but he was the one who could draw. He took a lot of art classes as a kid, trying to learn to draw better, and started painting when he was 11. And later in life he was drawn down to Tucson in order to hone his skills, get a BFA from the University of Ar ...more
“Can I see some ID?"


Doug stiffened. Jay sounded crazy. Doug tried looking extra sane to even things out.”
“What part of Canada are you from, honey?"

"THE LEFT PART," said Jay.”
More quotes…