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You Suck: A Love Story (Vampire Trilogy #2)
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You Suck: A Love Story (A Love Story #2)

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3.82  ·  Rating details ·  41,717 Ratings  ·  2,621 Reviews
"You bitch, you killed me. You suck!"

Being dead sucks. Make that being "un"dead sucks.

Literally. Just ask Thomas C. Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody--the woman of his dreams--is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too.

For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a
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ebook, 231 pages
Published January 16th 2007 by HarperCollins Publishers (first published 2007)
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Marian Willeke
Jul 20, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: supernatural, fiction
First of all, I would normally never even think to read this book. But as I was looking at the clearance rack, a kid, ie teenager, approached me.

"Hey, do you like vampires?"

I was disturbed how unfazed I was with the completely random question.

"Sure." Slightly wary.

"Have you heard of Moore?"

He's a vampire now? That answers a lot of questions.

"Michael Moore?" I'm riffling books hoping he'll go away.

"No, not that crazy one, this is a Christopher Moore. He's hilarious and has his own cult started."
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Lyn
Aug 01, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Another very funny book from Christopher Moore, this one the middle book in his vampire trilogy.

Not as outrageous or imaginative as the other two, this is still vintage Moore with his unique way of dealing with a well worn fantasy subject.

Moore may have thought of this trilogy a long time ago, and so he may not be a part of the glutted market (or he is) but not even his comedic talent can completely offset the rush to vampirism that has plagued our books for a while.

description
Kelli
Jan 14, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Get out the garlic--it’s yet another vampire tale! I’m not sure who to blame for the vampire and zombie stories proliferating like bunnies on a hot August afternoon, but when I find out and slap them, I’ll hold back--just a touch--for this one. Thankfully, this book didn’t take itself seriously, was wont to include posers in leather, pleather or otherwise, and left the sulking, weak-willed super beings behind. Instead, this tongue-in-cheek story injects a touch of humor into the overdone subgenr ...more
Amanda
Jun 14, 2008 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: blog
Funny, with some definitely quotable moments. However, for me, Moore's vampire series is the weakest of his work. That's not an insult--I still enjoy them and definitely snicker out loud in ways that make those around me pick up their things and stealthily move away from the crazy person, but they're a little too "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" sometimes in their humor. What impresses me with Moore is that, often among all of the wacky chaos, he can sneak up on you with a beautiful turn of phrase or ...more
Bruce
Jan 05, 2008 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I love Christopher Moore. I mean, I really, really love this guy's writing. I've given his books to friends, made them required reading for classes that I've taught, and generally done everything I could to help him along.

But this one...well, the title pretty much says it all. Moore slapped together a thin plot, an ongoing lovers' quarrel, some gimmicky scenes, a major deus ex machina, and an ending that is truly lame.

When the guy is on, he is fantastic. And when he's off, well, he sucks.
Rusty
This is my first Chris Moore book. I quickly realized that this was a sequel, but I was already into the story. Why? Because Moore is fricking hilarious. This is the story of two rookie vampires (Jody and Tommy) who are doing their best to avoid the law, former friends, and giving in completely to their primal natures. And of course they need a minion. Enter Abby Normal. Her greatest struggle is trying to shove down her inherent perkiness and embrace the darkness of goth, or whatever she is. Her ...more
Weavre
Jun 26, 2008 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: nobody
Blech.

I really enjoyed the last Christopher Moore novel and decided to try another, despite the fact that the plot isn't ordinarily one that would draw my attention. I picked this one because (1) it was handy on the library shelf, and (2) it was written after A Dirty Job and I thought that meant it was likely to be written at least as well.

That was a mistake. This one's going back to the library unfinished, because I'm just not wasting any more time on it. I read about a quarter of the book, in
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Terri ♥ (aka Mrs. Christian Grey)
Quick review:

Cover: Eh
Rating: NC-17
Steaminess: Steamy
Thumbs Up: 4
Overall: Still funny
Characters: Well Written
Plot: The accidental vampire and her lover still mucking things up
Page Turner: Yes
Series Cont.? Yes
Recommend: Yes
Book Boyfriend: Thomas C. Flood

SUMMARY (50 words or less)
I wasn’t sure when I started this one if it would live up to the first one, but as I got into it, the laughs were plentiful. Floor and Abby Normal were priceless. The hilarity of taken an accidental vampire and ho
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AH
3.5 stars

You Suck: A Love Story is a hilarious romp through San Francisco. The book focuses on Jody and Tommy, two new fledgling vampires and their rather unconventional love. Jody bites Tommy and makes him a vampire. He is not too happy with his new condition, but is easily distracted by Jody and the allure of wild monkey sex with her.

Christopher Moore’s vampires have interesting powers. They can turn to mist when necessary, which helps them get out of trouble (or causes trouble). They burn i
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Jeff
Jul 09, 2007 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: fiction
There are many distinct umbrages I would like to take with Christopher Moore in general and this book in particular. However, I realize the problem here is more with me than it is with Moore. Like most of his work, "You Suck" is an outlandish, mildly entertaining story within a story that references previous books and resurrects old characters. Unfortunately, I simply do not have the ability to retain much of what Moore writes in my head for more than a few minutes. I finished reading this book ...more
Chris M.
Jan 21, 2008 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Christopher Moore fans
I was expecting more from this book since Moore wrote it after Dirty Job. But, where Dirty Job was nicely crafted, well-paced, and original, You Suck was not quite the same. It is certainly an original take on a story that's been told over and over again. Vampires are not original but Moore does add some nice texture and moral complexity to the creatures. Unfortunately, I found the pacing awkward.

Moore switches back and forth from third person narrative to first person through the conceit of ha
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Howard
Dec 07, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Howard by: Marian Willeke
I gave this book a five star rating because it sucked me in so hard that I stayed up all night to read it, cover to cover. I read slowly, so this is pretty intense. As the book introduces a newly converted vampire Tommy Flood, I can't help but think that this is how I would probably behave if I were suddenly transformed - that is, curious, clumsy, and full of desire for mad vampire sex. What I probably wouldn't accomplish as well as the Dark Lord Flood is the dry wit and wise cracks, which make ...more
Kerrie
Mar 15, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Moore fans, lovers of snark
Another hilarious book by this whacked-out author. After a few pages I realized that this was a sequel and momentarily though "Agh! I need to start with book #1!" But quickly it became evident that going back to Bloodsucking Fiends was unnecessary, for Moore seamlessly presented the backstory to fill in the reader.

I listened to the audiobook, and Susan Bennett did a marvelous job with all the characters, making each one sound different. The sardonic Jody, the spastic Tommy, the "tchah! WhatEVER!
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Shelli
Feb 06, 2014 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-in-2014
I started this and thought "Really? This is dumb." Then I looked up my friend's reviews and was like…"Hmmmm, they seem to like it." It was a challenge book for me, so I decided to keep on…hoping it would get tolerable at least. As I got further, I found that I was more interested….had a few chuckles. I started thinking…"Oh yeah, I remember these characters…they are quite funny." By 80%……I was LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!! Too funny. Christopher Moore you crack me up! Abby Normal is "the bomb!" Not quite ...more
Meli
Jan 07, 2015 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Últimamente todos los libros de Moore que leo vienen geniales pero la caga irreparablemente con los finales.
Ben Babcock
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Caroline Åsgård
I didn't think this book was that good. The first book was funny, but the jokes in this just got too juvenile, I think. The characters just aren't interesting.
Like the first book, it is very slow paced for the most of it, and then ''the big battle'' at the end goes over pretty quickly. And again it cuts between different characters way too fast.
You don't have to read the first book to read this one, as everything is explained.
Shannon
Nov 04, 2014 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: fantasy
Years ago, I read Lamb by Christopher Moore and loved it. I'm not sure if my tastes have changed or if Moore's output is just not consistent, but I hated this book. In fact, this may actually be the worst book I've ever read. I considered quitting at several points, but with books and movies I have a need to see how they end even if I don't like them, so I trudged on.

For starters, I didn't realize right away that this book is a sequel. If this is indicated anywhere on my copy of the book, I sure
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Aaron
Jan 11, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Ex-Goths living in SF (most of my friends?)
A hugely entertaining lightweight page turner about modern day vampires living in SF. A cast of very likable characters kept me thoroughly captivated. This is especially true of one Abby Normal, 16 year old goth girl, minion to The Vampire Flood, and part time narrator through her diary entries like this:

Chapter 16: Being the Chronicles of One Abby Normal, Completely Fucked Servant of The Vampire Flood.

OMFG! W00T!! I have failed. Left my duty undone, like so much dog poop on the blooming sidewa
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Sara Hemenway
So.

This book.

I read the first one in this trilogy, Bloodsucking Fiends, probably in 8th grade or freshman year of high school. At the time, it felt edgy, and I felt a little naughty reading it. Most of all, it was funny. Sometimes a little ridiculous, but quite entertaining. After re-reading it last month, it still mostly holds up that way for me. It's a quick, fun read.

This, however, was... less fun.

I think one of the worst things about it is that the first book was published in the latter half
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Jackie "the Librarian"
Sporadically funny, disjointed vampires-in-love story, that almost stands alone from it's prequel, Bloodsucking Fiends. Jody and Tommy are young, new vampires, just trying to make things work. But life is so complicated when you're vampires! Just figuring out who to have for dinner can be a chore!

First of all, they need a minion (okay, I loved the minion, Abby Normal) to do their daytime errands, like getting them a new apartment. They have to move, because Tommy's old gang at work has learned
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Serena.. Sery-ously?
C'era una volta...
Una casa editrice italiana che pensò bene di tradurre il secondo volume di una trilogia, senza minimamente curarsi del primo o, per quanto possa contare, del terzo.
Si credeva fosse una legenda, ma risultò essere tutto tristemente vero.


Ora.. Mi va bene (quasi) tutto: serie interrotte, porcate pubblicate senza ritegno perché "vendono", scelte grafiche che fanno drizzare i peli.. MA TRADURRE UN SECONDO VOLUME DI UNA TRILOGIA NO, DAI!!
Ma qual è il senso?? Forse nella lettura sono s
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Alain
Una ligera y muy divertida novela de Christopher Moore que, en mi opinión, es algo inferior a la primera de esta trilogía. Es genial para pasar el rato y despejarse, sin más pretensiones.
Lisa
Dec 08, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is so funny that I kept cracking-up listening to this audiobook while walking the dog. Love it!
Rat-A-Tat-Tatter
Didn't suck.
Serena
Sep 02, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: vampire lovers
Christopher Moore's You Suck audio book is another find at the library that I should have taken out in book form. This book had us roaring with laughter in the car on the way to work over the weeks we listened to it.

***Spoiler Alert***

This is a vampiric tale of one young fledgling, Jody, turning her Midwest boyfriend, Tommy Flood, into a vampire so they can be together forever. Jody, who was turned by an older vampire, Elijah, teams up with Tommy and his co-workers at the San Francisco Marina Sa
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Jesse
Jun 17, 2007 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Fans of Buffy, fans of Terry Pratchett, those with strange senses of humor
I'm going to try to write this with out gushing about this author, but I can't make any promises.

Is this the most real book I've ever read? Yes, in so much as people are all strange inside. Even the most normal people have weirdness in them, and so this books cast of slackers, screw-ups, Otaku(I think thats the word for Fanboys, but I could be wrong), vampires (ancient and young), Goths (all posers, cause come on...where were they when rome was being sacked?), and all the rest; this cast just ma
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Will Byrnes
Oct 04, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: comedy-satire
This is a laugh-out-loud novel in which vampirism meets slacker youth in San Francisco. The opening line is a classic “You bitch, you killed me! You suck!” Young Tommy Flood awakes to find that his girlfriend, Jodi, has killed him, with her bite transforming him into a creature of the night. She wanted company and the old guy who turned her only a few months back was not to her liking. He had not been able to do much about it, having been attacked, robbed and ultimately bronzed by Tommy and his ...more
Megan
Mar 17, 2009 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: vampire-romance
A friend gave this to me as a gift. She didn't know that it was the second book in a trilogy- and neither did I until I after I finished reading it. I know there are a lot of Christopher Moore fans out there who think he's really funny and talented. I guess I'm just not one of them. He uses vulgar language in order to TRY to be funny. And to me, he comes of flat. There was so much bad language in this book that it was so hard to get past. The story is about a girl who is a vampire who turns her ...more
Bella Carstairs
Mar 14, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Alternando entre los puntos de vista (aunque narrados en tercera persona) de Tommy y Jody, Los Animales, el vampiro Elijah, el Emperador, los inspectores y las crónicas de Abby Normal (narradas por la misma Abby y las cuales son de lo mejorcito del libro, en serio), Christopher Moore crea una historia hilarante, desternillante, de esas que te hacen soltar una carcajada tras otra *y da igual dónde estés*, llena de situaciones absurdas, giros y más situaciones absurdas.

Haciendo uso del humor negr
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Around the Year i...: You Suck, by Christopher Moore 3 25 Jan 19, 2016 12:15AM  
Madison Mega-Mara...: You Suck by Christopher Moore 3 8 Sep 18, 2013 08:28AM  
Madison Mega-Mara...: You Suck - A Love Story 4 7 Sep 09, 2012 10:54AM  
Urban Fantasy ser...: Book Giveaway 7 57 Jun 06, 2012 08:52PM  
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Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Christopher Moore is an American writer of absurdist fiction. He grew up in Mansfield, OH, and attended Ohio State University and Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara, CA.

Moore's novels typically involve conflicted everyman characters suddenly struggling through supernatural or extraordinary circums
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More about Christopher Moore...

Other Books in the Series

A Love Story (3 books)
  • Bloodsucking Fiends (A Love Story, #1)
  • Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)
“Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness.” 215 likes
“Stop," I said. "Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have great hair and a car that is most fly, and you have just saved me with your mad ninja driving skills, so do not sully your heroic hottie image in my mind by further reciting your nerdy scholastic agenda. Don't tell me what you're studying, Steve, tell me what's in your soul. What haunts you?"
And he was like, "Dude, you need to cut back on the caffeine.”
195 likes
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