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How To Win Friends and Influence People

4.13  ·  Rating Details ·  303,641 Ratings  ·  7,805 Reviews
This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 ...more
Hardcover, 291 pages
Published November 3rd 2009 by Simon & Schuster (first published October 1936)
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Dave DeCastris Don't waste time cooking a homemade pizza when it's cheaper to buy a few. Invite a few friends over for pizza and beer. Hide my wife (and their wives…moreDon't waste time cooking a homemade pizza when it's cheaper to buy a few. Invite a few friends over for pizza and beer. Hide my wife (and their wives or girlfriends if any) in the bedroom. (The dog can hang out if she wants. She has no opinion and likes pizza, too.) After a few beers (of which I'll only nurse one or two to maintain my composure before telling my friends what I really think of them) and pizza, proceed to turning off the TV (if it's on). Put on an annoying record to get their full attention, like Hanson's "Snowed In." When they begin mocking me and demand that I change the record, start with the farthest friend and hand them the truth. Expose their flaws, help them to empathize with the human condition to accept their honest mistakes. End the summit with a self-analysis to insure balance in the room. Cry like a baby, admit suicidal thoughts and how often I've pondered disappearing to the coast of Maine or Washington, east or west, maybe Alaska. The world is round, remind them often how unhappy you are with their friendships and choices in music, women and health etiquette. Instruct them to take a bath, use soap before coming over to eat pizza next time. If there is a next time.

That's how I would make my friends love me.


Community Reviews

(showing 1-30)
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Jan 10, 2009 Brent rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-improvement
This is an incredible book. I've heard people mention it for years and years and thought the idea of it was so stupid. The way some people talked about it made it seem like it was a book for scoundrels or for socially awkward people. I didn't want to be either, so I didn't want to read it. Finally, a great friend of mine recommended it to me and I started reading it. This is a book for people. It's not about being evil or admitting you're nerdy; it's about how to get along with people. Anyone wh ...more
Apr 02, 2010 Caroline rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
This book had a profound effect on me, however, of the negative variety. It did give me pointers on how to actually break out of my shell and "win friends" but in the long term, it did way more harm than good. Not the book per se, but my choice to follow the advice given there. The book basically tells you to be agreeable to everybody, find something to honestly like about them and compliment them on it, talk about their interests only and, practically, act like a people pleaser all the time.

Jacob Collier
Feb 16, 2017 Jacob Collier rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book definitely change your perception towards people around & also it teaches you a lot how you see & judge other. I'm not going to tell you any "Granny Story" here about book, you yourself read & come to know about it why I give it 5 star. I bought this book at special price from here:
Sep 27, 2007 Ivan rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: people
Three things about this book surprised me and I liked it a lot more than I thought I would.

One - it seemed pretty much timeless. Not much anachronism here, because language still serves the same purposes as ever, and people still want basically the same things they've always wanted. I liked the examples taken from Abe Lincoln, etc.

Two - the techniques described in the book aren't duplicitous. We all try to do what the title says, just like everyone else, whether we're admitting it to ourselves
Apr 24, 2007 Conrad rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Dale, saying people's names often when you're talking to them, Dale, doesn't make you popular, Dale, it makes you sound like a patronizing creep.

This book is probably really handy when you're trying to befriend kindergarteners, not as much adults. It's also aimed at salespeople and not regular humans.
Oct 02, 2008 A. rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
It's considered corny to read books like this, but that kind of cynicism is ultimately limiting and counterproductive. My dad forced me to read this book and it was one of the main things that pushed me out of my shyness and made me an amicable person.
Ahmad  Ebaid
:قبل أن تشرع في قراءة الكتاب, هناك ملاحظات أحبذ اعتبارها في حساباتك

1- السلوكيات والنصائح الواردة لا يعتمد عليها بالكلية للحصول على أصدقاء من أقرانك, فلكي يقبلك أحدهم كصديق في علاقة طويلة المدى يجب أن تكون شخصاً ذا ثقل, ويحمل مميزات مادية مفيدة تجعله يحتاجك دائماً, وإذا فقدت هذه الميزات فستنطفئ علاقته بك تدريجياً حتى وإن لم يكن يقصد هو ذلك؛ لذا فالعمل على تنمية مهاراتك هو حجر الأساس.

2- يجب أن تبدو السلوكيات التي تنفذها بمظهر السلوكيات المخلصة, فالناس لا يحبون الرياء والمداهنة؛ فذلك يظهرك غالباً
Paul Rhodes
Mar 19, 2009 Paul Rhodes rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Utter dreck! Anyone who thinks this book offers important wise advice on friendship is an idiot.

Dale Carnegie was nothing but a huckstering sophist, and a very repulsive one at that. For those of you who may not know, Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People is a handbook on how to exploit friendship for the sake of financial and political gain. Now fans of this book (why such people are allowed to read, much less vote, I do not know) will say this book helped them overcome their shyne
Apr 24, 2012 Navin rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: No one
This is a sad book. A book that aims to turn us into manipulating individuals who would want to achieve their means through flattery and other verbal-mental tricks. Even technically, it seems to me that the ploys' in this book would never really work.

Here is a quote from the book -
“Don't be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.”

And what does the book do? It tries, or at least pretends to turn you into a someone who would flatter everything that moves – so
Apr 25, 2016 Neja rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: growth, business
This book is a life changer ! Really, I'm not making this up. This was exactly what I needed. Some things that are described in this book I realized before reading this book, but there were a lot of things I never thought about myself but are so true. I don't like conflicts and I found a lot of tips in this book about this how not to be in fights with people. Yaaay, my zen is safe! =)
Roy Lotz
When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

Dale Carnegie is a quintessentially American type. He is like George F. Babbitt come to life—except considerably smarter. And here he presents us with the Bible for the American secular religion: capitalism with a smile.

In a series of short chapters, Carnegie lays out a philosophy of human interacti
May 18, 2008 Viraj rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Everyone who is even slightly motivated and wants more in and from life...
Recommended to Viraj by: Dr. Gadgil
Shelves: self-help
A well written book with a lot of examples, including many of good folks from the history and many without any citation, but none-the-less seem real. The examples are written so that the message goes across well. Repetition is avoided. The stuff mentioned is pretty obvious and simple, but important and often ignored. Worth reading multiple times as the preface recommends.


PRINCIPLE 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
Nov 15, 2007 Catherine rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: everyone and their dog
Shelves: instructional
This book is a guide to life. I think several people should be required to read this book at least once. Teachers, emotional teenagers, employers, employees, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, friends, neighbors, politicians etc...

I truly found this book oddly entertaining. Although it is a self-improvement type book, I couldn't put it down. Through the examples of many famous and successful people throughout history, this book teaches us how to work with others and be nice. I sincerely believe
Michael Finocchiaro
This was really the world's first self-help book and undoubtedly helped many people build their self-esteem. It is easy to read and its tenants are easy to follow. The one criticism that many have justly laid on it is the feeling that you are manipulating people into being your friends or accomplices (thus the "win" in the title). As such, the techniques work with a subpopulation of people you run into over the span of your life nut certainly not all of them. And true friendships are about depth ...more
Mar 05, 2009 James rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Why did I read this book?

We’ve all heard of it. But none of us have ever really read it.

And I know why. It was originally published in 1936. How can it possibly be relevant in 2009?

Plus these types of advice, self-help, new-agey textbooks reek of banal, trite, clichéd, stereotypical drivel. We’re too good for that. They seem a little cheesy at least. They’re all like The Secret, right?

We don’t want to sip on watered down hotel iced tea and listen to Zig Ziglar. We want to take a toke of a high-
Reading between the lines and paying attention to the biographical details you realise that Carnegie never was a successful salesman himself. Success only came late in life when he was teaching an evening school class on the topic of how to win friends and influence people. His students would share their stories about changes in thinking or attitude which had changed their lives, these then made their way in to the book. Once the book was published readers would send in their stories which were ...more
Mar 24, 2016 Roya rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Roya by: Dad
Shelves: dull, not-for-me
As most of you know this is not the type of book I normally reach for, so it should be no surprise that my dad recommended it. He's a huge fan, so for whatever reason I decided to give it a shot. This is by no means a bad book, but since we're on the topic, I'll mention the cons first. I skimmed through the latter half of this book today. The first half took me over a month. This isn't boring per se, I just happen to have the attention span of your average Millennial. I have the worst patience ( ...more
Aug 22, 2008 Daron rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
Sometimes I felt this book was a bit too . . . "used-car-salesmanshippy". There are some good ideas in it, but there are also some things which felt like they were extremely disingenuous. I don't like FAKE people. There are some ideas in here which are quite fake.
11811 (Eleven)
This was about two things that don't interest me. At the time, I picked it up for the business perspective but I don't think I ever finished it.



That sounds so anti-social I want to briefly annotate. I favor an alternative philosophy of being genuine. You will likely yield fewer friends of higher quality and perhaps be less successful but I think it will ultimately result in a higher quality of life.

Other than that, this book does have practical advice on business etiquette.
Cathy Carpenter
Feb 09, 2014 Cathy Carpenter rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2014-read
This is the most boring, tedious, inane book I've ever read. It is a total of 236 pages but the essence could be boiled down to 12 at most. Every chapter, he has one point summarized in a neat box at the end. I skimmed the rest. He gives you six examples when one or two would do. He deliberately repeats himself. He wastes the readers' time.

Do yourself a favor and just read the "In a Nutshell" summary points at the end of each chapter. You won't miss anything.
Feb 03, 2008 Jared rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
At the end of the Great Depression, Dale Carnegie wrote one of the benchmark self-help books of American literary history. He encapsulated the formula to “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” in the midst of a market downturn, to put it mildly. His title, How to Win Friends and Influence People, was probably used to win and influence book sales rather than cleverly and accurately describe the content of his book. Simply, it is a misnomer. With chapters on considerate social intercourse and since ...more
Jul 21, 2014 Keertana rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: why-the-hype
Every week for the past seven years my father has diligently asked me--without fail--whether or not I had finally read this book. How to Win Friends & Influence People changed my father's life when he first read it, back during the 1970s, and as such he's wanted me to read it as well. I have three copies of this book in my house--the first an aqua paperback my father originally bought for me, the second the very same paperback my father re-bought for me when in a fit of rebellion I told him ...more
Dec 10, 2013 Marks54 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
This book presents one of the classic statements of popular psychology oriented around positive self-image, self reliance, and cooperative relationships with others. It is one of the most popular and influential books of its type ever and provided the foundations for contemporary self-help celebrities, such as Oprah Winfrey, as well as much of current motivational and organizational psychology that one finds in current business school curricula.

What to make of it? I tend to side with the critics
Kendel Christensen
Mar 09, 2011 Kendel Christensen rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: All human beings that care about their relationships with others
Save the gospel itself, and my mission president, this book has been the single most influential thing in my life. Insightful? Yes. Timeless, Absolutely. But for someone who had no social skills to speak of until his mission? Transformative.

Here are just a FEW of the nuggets in this amazing book:

“Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.”
(Emerson, As quoted by Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p. 31)

“You will never get into trouble by admitting t
Re-read (or rather re-listened to) this, as I promised myself I was going to do when I got it last year. I really think the title is misleading. It should be something like, How to Have Healthier, Happier and More Positive Relationships with People.

This time I actually got to put some of the principles of this book into practice when tutoring an unwilling 7th grader. Receiving D's and F's and reading at 3rd grade level, "M" is not unintelligent. She is just one (of the many) child(ren) pushed t
Molly Cecile
Oct 30, 2011 Molly Cecile rated it it was amazing
As corny as the title might sound, this book should be a must-read on everyone's list. After reading this book I am so surprised that schools don't teach the simple methods for people to get along with each other and have less conflict. On top of it, any person going into any sort of business must read this. The advice that this book gives is more valuable than a college education on business. While reading this book, I've already had a lot of success, whether it's dealing with work, friends, or ...more
Well researched and documented but many of the tactics are too manipulative to be applied ethically.
Jul 07, 2013 Joe rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone in need of a pick-me-up
Popular self-help books have the most misleading titles. Men are From Mars Women are from Venus, for example, promises a provocative thesis but proves a bland and repetitive read. By contrast, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People enlightens the mind and tugs at the heart despite its dry label.

And so it is with How to Win Friends and Influence People. The title suggests cloak-and-dagger tactics. 'Winning friends' implies competition; that if you don't win them someone else will! And 'influenci
Aug 12, 2008 Nathan rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
My dad gave me this book when I was a teenager and it changed my life. It comes off to some people as a book on how to manipulate people, but that is really far from it. In my experience there's really no way to put the practices this book preaches into effect with your life and not become someone who actually treats people better as a result. Funny how treating people better leads to leadership, friends, and influencing them. It's not an accident.

I've read the book at least 3 times, with anothe
Ron Charles
No, you’re not imagining it. I am friendlier and more influential now.

I owe it all to Dale Carnegie, the failed actor from Missouri who discovered he had a knack for jazzing up people’s confidence. His foundational work, “How to Win Friends & Influence People,” blasted off in 1936, but for anyone who wants a pill-sized dose of encouragement, a “mini abridged edition” is being released this week to celebrate the book’s 80th year.

You could call “How to Win Friends & Influence People” the g
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Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (originally Carnagey until 1922 and possibly somewhat later) (November 24, 1888 – November 1, 1955) was an American writer and lecturer and the developer of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking and interpersonal skills. Born in poverty on a farm in Missouri, he was the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, fir ...more
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“It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.” 5522 likes
“Don't be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.” 1561 likes
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