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Mercury Falls

(Mercury #1)

3.63  ·  Rating details ·  4,439 ratings  ·  526 reviews
Years of covering the antics of End Times cults for The Banner, a religious news magazine, have left Christine Temetri not only jaded but seriously questioning her career choice. That is, until she meets Mercury, an anti-establishment angel who's frittering his time away whipping up batches of Rice Krispy Treats and perfecting his ping-pong backhand instead of doing his jo ...more
Paperback, 337 pages
Published October 1st 2009 by St. Culain Press (first published July 13th 2009)
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3.63  · 
Rating details
 ·  4,439 ratings  ·  526 reviews

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Nov 18, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: fantasy, humor
A brilliantly silly novel that examines the idea of free will, man's relationship with the divine and the wisdom of redoing your linoleum floor just before the apocalypse. Some readers have compared this hilarious book to Christopher Moore but I think Kroese's writing style screams of Douglas Adams. Witness this little paragraph...

"The bullet, having thoroughly enjoyed this hole-punching business, proceeded to punch holes in the windows of four nearby cars, finally coming to rest on page 328 of
3.5 stars. Funny, light-hearted take on the coming of the apocalypse. Not as good as the classic Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, but if you enjoyed that book and the humor and tone of Douglas Adams, it is a safe bet that you will enjoy this. There were some genuinely funny, laugh-out-loud moments (the periodic debate between "pawn" or "prawn" is one that jumps to mind). There were also some clever concepts incorporated into the story. A few examples are (MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD): (1) ...more
Jul 05, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Katy by: Amazon vine program
Shelves: vine-book
Please note: I will not change my rating or review, as my reviews are based upon the book, but I will warn other bloggers that this author has recently treated a fellow blogger very badly and abusively when she politely declined his review request and advised him to follow submission guidelines in the future when requesting a review. I have removed myself as a fan of this author and will no longer support him through purchasing his books.

Please note: I read this in September 2010 from a copy pro
Nov 23, 2009 rated it really liked it
Shelves: fantasy, humor, apocolypse
You all know I love apocalypses, if that is indeed the correct pluralization. There's just something about the end of the world that really gets me going, and if it can be done with some sense of humor and insight, that's even better.

Mercury Falls has the distinction of being the first full-length book I've read on my Kindle, and let me say that it was a good christening. While I'm not writing a Kindle review, I have to admit that the device works very well. It's easy to read, easy to make notes
Feb 01, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2011-reads
I wasn't sure what I would think about this book. It was on sale on Amazon and it dealt with I figured I'd give it a try. I ended up really liking it. The pace was quick, so I found myself reading even when I should have been sleeping. And, the humor was great. I think my husband will really enjoy this.
Jun 09, 2011 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: fans of absurd humor and satire, especially fans of Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett
I first picked up this book because the premise sounded very interesting, and the promise of Pratchett/Adams style humor intrigued me. After the recent failed Harold Camping apocalypse prediction, I felt it would be perfect for the occasion. The first half of the book was mildly interesting, enough to keep my attention, but I didn't think it was going to be anything special. The book picks up in the second half with the introduction of Mercury. It's in this second half that the book becomes heav ...more
Aug 24, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: e-books, read-2013
5 Stars

What a fun satirical ride Mercury Falls is. I really found myself chuckling and laughing out loud as I quickly ate up this fast and easy light hearted take on the end of the world. Robert Kroese does an excellent job at keeping the reader interested in the story as this is a real page turner. He finds a way to question the views and beliefs of many different groups. The humor in this book makes it really shine, as does the current topic satire.

Christine is a human journalist that specia
Medeia Sharif
Dec 31, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Christine Temetri is a journalist who reports on cults and religious nuts. Fed up and almost ready to abandon her career, her boss sends her in the midst of warfare, which leads her to the angel Mercury. Mercury is flaky and well-intentioned as he tries to steer the world into the apocalypse. The Antichrist is Karl Grissom, a dim-witted fellow who's more interested in fast food than world affairs. Christine shuttles through portals, going on different planes of existence to handle angels and dem ...more
Nov 30, 2011 rated it did not like it
I read the reviews and was very excited about reading this book. Truth be told, I was so sure that I would like it that I was even happy there was a sequel. However, this book was so dreadful that I didn't even want to finish it.

This is what armageddon would look like on CSPAN. Angels have lawyers? Seriously? People keep saying how funny this book is. I couldn't find any humor at all. I honestly thought the constant bashing of "Charlie Nix and the Flaming Cup" was just JK bashing.

I just don't
Jan 31, 2010 rated it it was ok
This book is a rare treasure. Great satire require some of the most clever writers. This author was the most clever person in the Starbucks he wrote it in.
This book was both great and terrible. The plot, fictional world and characters were very good. I enjoyed the concept of the heavenly choir of angels being a mammoth bureaucracy, same for the demons of Lucifer. The apocalypse is a carefully scripted agreement between Heaven and Hell that has been signed by both parties, "The Apocalypse Acco
Larry Johnson
Nov 24, 2011 rated it really liked it
This is my first book review, and for the record I don't know what deserves a full 5 star. I love the premise, Kroese's writing style, and absolute humor that went into the book. I just learned that it is part of a trilogy and enthusiastically ordered the new "Mercury Rises". Angels, demons, the apololypse, a slovenly Antichrist, and loads of humor. What's not to like? Just a fun book all around.

Warning: It does give you a healthy appreciation for good linoleum.
Mark Rayner
Oct 05, 2009 rated it really liked it
This is a fun read -- it has all of Kroese's trademark wit and rhetorical flourishes (found on his excellent blog, Mattress Police, and the book based on the blog) -- plus there's a crazy story about bureaucratic wrangling amongst angels and demons over how the apocalypse will actually proceed. Or IF it will; the human protagonist and the angel Mercury are against against the end of the world, the former because she lives there, and the latter because he's still not very good at ping pong.
Nov 15, 2010 rated it it was ok
Clever concept, but terribly cheesy writing. The writer thinks he is sooooooo funny and every page has a dozen little quips. Sort of funny the first few times, tedious after a few hundred pages. Yes, it brings up some semi-interesting discussions about religion, but is it worth having to endure the writing?
Dec 28, 2010 rated it liked it
Mercury Falls tells the story of Christine, a journalist who is growing tired of her job writing in apocalyptic cults who ultimately don't seem to really know what they're talking about. But things change when she meets cult leader Mercury, a rogue angel and Karl the newly appointed Antichrist and she realizes that the trip must work together to stop the impending apocalypse.

Mercury Falls is a father fun and interesting read, portraying both heaven and hell as a mass of hopelessly complicated b
Jun 20, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Witty and entertaining, with a great plot line and many laugh-out-loud moments (though I can only speak for myself, of course). The book is easy to read and draws you in with it's conversational tone/style... if I may call it that... no, wait: let's go with flowing. The whole book just keeps flowing and moves you along perfectly with it, almost forcing you to continue reading (though I suspect "compelling" is probably a better word choice).

If you're highly religious and don't like people talking
"The Apocalypse has a way of fouling up one's plans."

I loved this book. Hence the five stars. It's very much like the 1999 Damon-Affleck film "Dogma," where Heaven and Hell are not so much forces of Good and Evil as competing bureaucracies with their own myriad sets of rules and regulations, policies and procedures. It also reminded me of Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, which is a send-up of both Nostradamus and The Omen.

Christine is a reporter assigned to cover the end of the wor
Feb 01, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is a case of a unique story/concept that makes it worthwhile to read even though the characters have very little depth and the dialogue is less than adequate. In fact, the dialogue usually is one of two things 1) way too trite for the situation or 2) a vehicle for the author to explain the plot line in an expository fashion. The first is annoying but the latter is downright frustrating. It's one of those books where you think to yourself "who talks like that?!" As the characters figure out ...more
Jennifer (JC-S)
Nov 17, 2009 rated it really liked it
‘The Apocalypse has a way of fouling up one’s plans.’

Ah yes, it’s the end of the world. Again. Agreements have been reached and the associated paperwork has been completed. The Four Attache cases of the Apocalypse are out there, as is the Antichrist.

What can prevent the Apocalypse?

Enter Christine Temetri, a journalist who covers the antics of ‘End of the World’ cults for a religious magazine. Christine is thinking about a career change, and is seeking some new floor-covering. Hmm: one out of two
Guy Talent
Nov 01, 2009 rated it really liked it
Shelves: signed
I received a reader copy of this book from the author, but please do not consider this review as being sycophantic. Because, to be frank, this novel is flat-out funny, irreverant, demonic, and insightful.

I was worried - being fan of Good Omens - that this would border that book too closely. The main difference, though, is that all parties in this are fairly "in the loop" to their own machinations and motivations. Even Perpetiel knows his place (and what a great addition Perp is to the proceedin
Emil Girardin
Jan 24, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I seriously had a fun time reading this book. Robert Kroese, seems to write exactly how I think—sort of Mystery Science Theater:3000—where I stop to make a parenthetical comment about something, then pick right back up where I left off! I read this after I watched The Adjustment Bureau and thought it (the book) was amazing. You see, I plainly get the whole "angels among us" thing. (By the way, the characters in Mercury Falls are far more interesting than the previously mentioned movie.)

The humor
Oct 08, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: satire-humor, fantasy
Absolutely hilarious!As an avid Christopher Moore fan, I was surprised to find another author who could make me laugh out loud (almost as hard as Moore) while poking fun at religion & philosophy in an intelligent, creative way. If you like Moore, Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, and especially if you loved Good Omens, then you'll enjoy "Mercury Falls."
Nov 09, 2009 rated it it was amazing
This book cracked me up. Diesel is a master at delivering deliciously snarkastic dialog and this book is chock full of it. Anyone who is looking for a twisted interpretation of how the Apocalypse is going down will love this story.
Oct 09, 2012 rated it it was amazing
This book was so much fun. I mean, is there anything funnier than Armageddon? There really isn't much more to say about it than that. Read it... it's funny!
Dean Macholl
Mar 19, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Funny, yet compelling

I really liked this book. It's about a journalist who gets caught up in the Apocalypse. The humor in this book is great and really helps make the characters real. The plot stayed together and the author didn't get all tied up with too many of the finer details which, in my opinion, happens a bit too much in a lot of stories. I definitely plan on continuing the series.
Hawkings Austin
Jul 13, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great book. I'll post a bigger review on
John Eddy
Mar 16, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: series
While Heaven and Hell, and, of course, Earth, are rushing headlong towards the contractually agreed upon Armageddon but one renegade (yet not yet fallen) angel, along with one road weary reporter on the End of the World beat, have worked out just what is going wrong and decided to try and stop it, at least for now.

The short version: Good book, I recommend giving it a reading.

The (likely to be) longer version:
I don't know when I started following the author, Rob Kroese, on twitter. Or why, for
Joseph K
Dec 07, 2011 rated it it was ok
Recommends it for: Those wanting light-hearted Christian fiction.
Shelves: fiction
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
D.M. Dutcher
Oct 09, 2012 rated it it was ok
Shelves: fantasy
It's a bit too manic and twee to really be effective. One mention of linoleum is funny, constantly repeating it? Not so much.

Christine reports on endtimes cults for a Christian newspaper. One day she demands for something more, and gets sent to Israel. One stray bomb later she's off to deliver a briefcase to an eccentric cult leader named Mercury, and just her luck, she might be involved in Armageddon too.

The book reminds me of some roleplayers I used to encounter when roleplaying online. They w
Wes Locher
Feb 07, 2010 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: humor, 2010-reads
Rob "Diesel" Kroese can make anything funny. If you read his blog, Mattress Police, then you already know this. For those unfamiliar with his past and first experiencing him through Mercury Falls, then you are seeing a man at the top of his writing game.

There's a reason that people are ranting, raving, and leaving 5 star reviews for this book all over the web: It's so entertaining that you can't put it down, and once you finish the final chapter, you head right to Google to find out when the mov
Gregory Mose
Feb 13, 2010 rated it it was amazing
When I was younger, I would now and again stumble upon a great book in a bookstore, something I'd never heard of but which caught my eye. Maybe the story sounded intriguing, or the cover design was catchy. Maybe it was strategically placed at eye level and recommended as a "staff pick" by some big chain bookstore that had been paid by a big publisher to pass off expensive marketing at personal opinions of real, everyday sort of people. However it happened, it was always a joy to read something a ...more
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Robert Kroese's sense of irony was honed growing up in Grand Rapids, Michigan - home of the Amway Corporation and the Gerald R. Ford Museum, and the first city in the United States to fluoridate its water supply. In second grade, he wrote his first novel, the saga of Captain Bill and his spaceship Thee Eagle. This turned out to be the high point of his academic career. After barely graduating from ...more

Other books in the series

Mercury (5 books)
  • Mercury Rises (Mercury #2)
  • Mercury Rests (Mercury #3)
  • Mercury Revolts (Mercury #4)
  • Mercury Shrugs (Mercury #5)
“These days she tended to think of herself as a Heisenbergian Christian: she believed in the broad outlines of Christianity, but she was unable to pinpoint the specifics of her creed. She was OK with the wave; it was the particles that tended to escape her.” 8 likes
“And it was negotiated between the best minds among the angels and the best minds of the demons." "Oh, no," said Mercury. "Where did you get that idea? It was negotiated by lawyers.” 2 likes
More quotes…