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The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy is as Necessary as Love and Sex
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The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy is as Necessary as Love and Sex

3.96  ·  Rating details ·  219 ratings  ·  17 reviews
Why do men and women cheat on each other? How do men really feel when their partners have sex with other men? What worries women more -- men who turn to other women for love or men who simply want sexual variety in their lives? Can the jealousy husbands and wives experience over real or imagined infidelities be cured? Should it be? In this surprising and engaging ...more
Hardcover, 272 pages
Published February 14th 2000 by Free Press (first published 2000)
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Average rating 3.96  · 
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 ·  219 ratings  ·  17 reviews


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Jaidee
Aug 28, 2017 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: green eyed girlz and boyz
Recommended to Jaidee by: topic of interest
3.5 "well laid out, thought provoking but over-reaching" stars !!

This is a poem by Sappho after she catches her beloved Queen Lesbia flirting with a man !!

He is a god in my eyes, that man,
Given to sit in front of you
And close to himself sweetly to hear
The sound of you speaking.

Your magical laughter — this I swear —
Batters my heart — my breast astir —
My voice when I see you suddenly near
Refuses to come.

My tongue breaks up and a delicate fire
Runs through my flesh; I see not a thing
With my eyes,
...more
Brandt
Feb 05, 2016 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
I am a robot.

At least sometimes it feels like I am a robot. And I guess there is some truth to it. I tend to view everything through a overly logical lens. From where I sit, emotional entanglements tend to fuck things up, so I dismiss the emotions that I feel get in the way of making logical decisions. As such I think that I have managed to short circuit some of those emotions in myself, including jealousy.

I don't know if this is a good or bad thing, but reading David M. Buss' The Dangerous
...more
Dan
Nov 27, 2011 rated it really liked it
I am a sucker for "how do people really work" with experimental evidence. This book delivers. David is a professor of psychology at the University of Texas who has spent a serious hunk of his career studying the strategies of human mating. Jealousy has evolved to protect against infidelity. Infidelity is bad for those being cheated upon because their genes are less likely to be passed on to a future generation. This book explores infidelity (especially the meat market-- what makes someone ...more
mark
Dec 31, 2018 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: humans
Happy new year - this might come in handy:

The trouble with this type of book is there are so many references, in this case approximately 275. Now who’s going to read all of those, much less verify the research and so on. In addition, it can get tedious reading about all the studies as well as all the anecdotal evidence. After all, most of the research is based on self-report questionnaires and those only tell us what people imagine, think, or believe about them. In other words, they are not
...more
Dennis Littrell
Jul 15, 2019 rated it it was amazing
"Necessary" from the POV of the genes...

Jealousy exists, like love and sex, to help propagate an individual's genes. It is a mechanism of the species to help insure for males paternity, and for females that their offspring receive the benefit of male protection, support and guidance. Jealousy is not "necessary" (as the subtitle disinformationally suggests) in the same sense that sex per se is necessary; nor is it an emotion, like love, that we might want to retain, had we our druthers. Jealousy
...more
Tina
Aug 08, 2019 rated it liked it
I'm interested in psychology and the psychology of relationships fascinate me, which is why I picked up this book. I rated it highly because, even though I read a lot of psychology books, this one had material I've not read before. I took away a few stars because 1) the title is a misleading, and 2) the writing style is quite research-y.

With respect to the misleading title, the author DOES cover jealousy, but a good portion of the book (half?) discusses infidelity and other subjects related to
...more
Kimberley
Jul 19, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This book astonished me. I had no idea that jealousy was so useful! I had no idea it was so necessary. I had no idea how dangerous it can be. David Buss made jealously make complete sense to me even while it's very complex. Mostly, he puts the onus on the liar and cheater, not the jealous partner.

I underlined and dog-eared many pages and excerpts. Here's one: "... less attractive men, usually unsuccessful in charming women, allotted far more time to tending the home nest, doing household
...more
Malcolm Gorman
Sep 30, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Just as cognitive science, neurology, endocrinology etc. begin to make the DSM look like a classification of symptoms with little in the way of an aetiological foundation, evolutionary psychology begins to make sense of some major and too often dangerous emotions which on the surface seem irrational.

They are more curb-able than cure-able. And given their destructive power and underlying roots, require more effective treatment and active dissuasion. A stalker or ex-partner killer requires far
...more
Juliet
Jun 13, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: 2018-books
Scientific look at feelings as necessary in regards to sex and love. Pretty interesting. Definitely gets you thinking about what love is, and whether jealousy is really required in this day and age where traditional sex roles are no longer required.
Margaretha Chomsi
Jan 03, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Awesome!!
Othman
Jul 30, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Very interesting! I mostly like the fact that the book is replete with studies that corroborate the claim the author makes.
Piotr Szybicki
Jan 26, 2018 rated it really liked it
Another good book by the author. Considers human jealousy as part of adaptive mechanism that often is necessary for a happy relationships.
Miss Mouse
Jan 03, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: psychology
I thought this book was very interesting and insightful. I never really thought about why people get jealous and why people do it. It was interesting to see all the things that contribute to jealousy and why people want to cause jealousy. It definitely opened my eyes about jealousy and how sometimes it doesn't have to be a bad thing.
Rachael Kvapil
Jan 31, 2014 rated it really liked it
Initially, I read after getting caught up in the jealousy trap of two male friends. But most of this was much too in-depth or didn't apply to that simple scenario. I finished the book and used it for research for my fiction writing. Quite fascinating though I probably could have deducted a lot of this from watching Spanish novellas.
David
Sep 19, 2008 rated it it was ok
Eh ... not really backed up with anything scientific .. a lot of assumptions and guesses, didn't make it all the way through the book -- interesting idea that jealousy is an evolved characteristic necessary for survival ...
Anri
Dec 21, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
This book has a lot of just-so logic going on, but I found it weirdly entertaining to read.
Jenni
Feb 28, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Well, if there was ever a book that reminded me to feel fortunate and grateful to be single and unattached, this would be the one! Table for one, please!
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Jealousy: an adaptation 1 3 Apr 10, 2014 11:26AM  

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David M. Buss is a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, known for his evolutionary psychology research on human sex differences in mate selection.
Buss earned his PhD in psychology at University of California, Berkeley in 1981. Before becoming a professor at the University of Texas, he was assistant professor for four years at Harvard University, and he was a professor at
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