Here's the Deal: Don't Touch Me

by Howie Mandel, Josh Young

A frank, funny, no-holds-barred memoir that reveals the Deal or No Deal host’s ongoing struggle with OCD and ADHD–and how it has shaped his life and career.

Howie Mandel is one of the most recognizable names in entertainment–respected by his peers and beloved by audiences as the host of the enormously popular prime-time game show Deal or No Deal . With a career that spans three decades and many different show-business platforms–he’s a renowned stand-up comedian who continues to perform more than 150 sold-out shows a year, he created the award-winning TV show Bobby’s World , he’s starred in feature films and the hit TV series St. Elsewhere , and he’s also hosted his own daytime talk show–he’s one of the most versatile performers anywhere. But there are aspects of his personal and professional life he’s never talked about publicly–until now.

Eleven years ago, Mandel first told the world about his “germophobia.” He’s recently started discussing his adult ADHD as well. Now, for the first time, he reveals the details of his struggle with these challenging disorders. He catalogs his numerous fears and neuroses and shares entertaining stories about how he has tried to integrate them into his act. “If I’m making myself laugh,” he writes, “then I’m distracted from all the other things going on in my head that are, at times, torturous.” And he speaks frankly and honestly about the ways his condition has affected his personal life–as a son, husband, and father of three.

Fans who’ve been dying to know “the deal” behind Mandel’s remarkable rise through the show-business ranks will be rewarded with many never-before-told anecdotes, each one generously leavened with Mandel’s trademark humor. There are tales from every phase of his colorful career–from his early days as a teenage carpet salesman and aspiring stand-up comic to his stint opening for Diana Ross, his six years on St. Elsewhere , and beyond.

As heartfelt as it is hilarious, Here’s the Don’t Touch Me is the story of one man’s effort to draw comic inspiration out of his darkest, most vulnerable places. It’s sure to please Howie Mandel’s legion of fans–and provide hope to the millions who strive to succeed in spite of OCD and ADHD.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Memoir, Humor, Autobiography, Audiobook, Comedy

220 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Howard Michael "Howie" Mandel (born November 29, 1955) is a Canadian stand-up comedian, television host, and actor.

He is well known as a host of America's Got Talent and the game show Deal or No Deal, as well as the show's daytime and Canadian-English counterparts. Before his career as a game show host, Mandel was known for his role on the NBC medical drama St. Elsewhere. He is also well-known for being the creator and star of the children's cartoon Bobby's World. On June 6, 2009, he hosted the 2009 Game Show Awards on GSN.

Reviews

[Matthew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Turns out Howie Mandel has a bit of a twisted senses of humor like myself. I may not go to the lengths he talks about in the book, but I know my wife responds to my goofing around much the same way Howie's does.

This is a very quick read but served as an entertaining palette cleanser between more serious books. It runs the gambit on topics; from OCD to practical jokes, from Deal or No Deal to death's doorstep. Howie went through a lot more than I realized. Also, I like reading the memoirs of people I frequently see on TV. Now, when I am watching America's Got Talent this year, I will see Howie and go, "Yeah, I know his story and why he fist bumps instead of shakes hands" or whatever.

If you like celebrity memoirs or want a bit of a break from whatever YA fantasy novel you just finished (yeah, right now - May 2017 - you know what I am talking about) check this one out. You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll pee yourself! (Just don't pee on Howie)

[Heather K (dentist in my spare time) · Rating 3 out of 5]

*3.5 stars*

This book saved my sanity on a VERY bumpy 3 hour flight. Listening to the neurotic, hyper, and interesting life-tale of Howie Mandel distracted me from my stomach, which was doing somersaults at the time.

I think if you are going to read this book, an audio version is a MUST. Howie is a very natural, entertaining reader, and he brought life to the story.

Now, technically, this book is kind of a mess. Howie jumps around in time so frequently that I often had no idea when he was talking about. One minute we are in the present, the next it is 10 years ago. Also, his sense of humor is not for everyone. I don't particularly find the jokes that he played on people to be really that funny. I think making people uncomfortable can be amusing at some level, but the places he took some jokes... woah. I would kill him if I was those people!

Despite its flaws, this book is personality plus. I loved Howie affection for his parents and family, as well as the stories that involved his OCD. I also feel like I got to know Howie Mandel a lot more than I had before. I wish the book was more well organized, but, let's face it, Howie is no author.

All in all, this is an entertaining, engaging way to pass the time, and it is an interesting, if somewhat frenetic look into a pop culture personality.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

I HIGHLY recommend this book. Even if you're not a frequent reader of autobiographical works or non-fiction, there's very little chance that you won't enjoy this book. Howie is brutally honest, modest and neurotic, a wonderful person and a complete jerk-off...all at the same time. Only one thing stays consistent throughout this book: humor. I can't count the number of times I laughed aloud at the absurdity of life and the way Howie tells a story. His pranks were laughable even when they were harsh, and he is apologetic for all of them. But the things that came back to bite him in the ass afterwards were well-told pay-offs. I love-love-love this book and finished it in just 4 days. READ IT. And Howie, please write another...and then another...and stay well.

[BxerMom · Rating 4 out of 5]

OMG! This is laugh out loud funny! but at the same time you're thinking, "What the hell was he thinking?"

I have always loved Howie Mandel for as long as I've known who he was. I think he is sexy as all get out one of the funniest people I have ever seen.

The book focuses on his rise to stardom, told to us through stories of his childhood, teen and adult years. I was amazed at some of the stuff he went through, appalled at some of the things he put people through, and laughing out loud when it all came together.

Its a must read for anyone who wants a good laugh.

[thewestchestarian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Here’s the deal: as literature it’s substandard, as auto-wreck rubbernecking, it’s fascinating. If you remember Mandel’s act from the early 80s, his bizarre, discomforting, freak show may have very well made you ask: “what’s wrong with this guy?” His relatively brief autobiography, with ghost-writing help, convincingly answers the question with stark and largely unattractive personal revelations. Mandel cops to a raging germ-phobia, obsessive thoughts, compulsive behaviors, an inability to concentrate even briefly and an addiction to attention-seeking easily on the same all-consuming order of any drug addict or alcoholic. What’s more interesting is the text’s corroboration of these claims – Mandel chooses a relatively small number of personal stories from his fifty-three years and these deal nearly exclusively with bodily functions, personal humiliations and attempts at attention-seeking. The book’s structure also evidences these maladies: it jumps around in time (2009’s heart trouble precedes the late 90s career decline), events are related with no buildup (his father’s inoperable lung cancer diagnosis appears without any preamble) and anxiety or filth-related stories take precedence (the only two stories about his children deal with potty-training and perceived public humiliation respectively). Mandel comes across as being as baffled by his motivations as the reader and his willingness to present the ugly and unattractive (some of his practical jokes are downright cruel) giving the book a somewhat objective, case study-esque feel.

[Allison · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone who also copes with the effects of severe OCD in my daily life, I was actually really excited to read this memoir from Howie Mandel! I only know him from Deal or No Deal and that's not even mentioned until the very end, as it was something that happened much later in his career.

I learned a lot about this man through this book. I learned about his highs and his lows (both exacerbated by OCD bc of course they were) and I related to a lot that he had to say about his obsessions and compulsions and thought patterns. I didn't realize so much of his humor was so vulgar and some of that caught me very off-guard, but the more I read of the book, the less jarring it got, as I came to understand Mandel a little better.

This book was good, but not great. I always appreciate hearing someone else's story and especially when there are parts of it that I can identify with. A solid 3 ⭐ book for me.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, I wasn't sure what I was going to be getting into when I started this book. First off, I did this on audio book. It is read by Howie Mandel himself and I definitely think this is the way to read this. He does his voices and sound effects through out and it makes it all the more enjoyable. A flavor you definitely wouldn't get with the printed word.

He is articulate and painfully candid in his writing. Being a witness to all of his issues; OCD, ADHD, a Hypochondriac, being color blind and a germaphobe, it is both enlightening and painful in his honesty. He is also honest about his lack of impulse control and self regulating. Such as what it has cost him, in the damage to a very close friendship.

I can't say that I have left the book liking him very much in some ways and yet I have compassion for him in others.

It is a good read and interesting to see candidly into the mind of a person who works daily to face his issues and how he gets to the other side. I think he was brave in his writing of this and being so open about his flaws as well as his mental health issues.

It is a small book, only 4 discs on audio. I would say it is worth your time.

[Carrie Kellenberger · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've never been a huge fan of Howie Mandel because his sense of humor can be a little too vicious for me, but I greatly enjoyed his book. Here's the Deal: Don't Touch Me provides readers with an overview of his childhood and the beginning of his life with ADHD and OCD. He talks honestly about his mental illness, and it was really refreshing to read his words about his battle with health problems that have plagued him throughout life.

We get the story of his launch into comedy and his career, and we also get a lot of apologies -typically Canadian, but I also think some of his pranks were so mean/vicious, he honestly felt he needed to apologize. He highlights some simply brilliant moments on stage in comedy, while also highlighting some massive failures.

There was some really raw and honest content in this book about his mental health and heart problems. When he started talking about saving up all his energy just so he could go on stage and do a comedy routine for an hour, I nodded my head. I know exactly what that feels like. All in all, a funny memoir that is very honest.

I think this is a must read, especially if you're also coping with mental health issues. As for Howie, goodness I hope I never meet him and end up as one of his practical jokes. His wife must be a saint!

[Ella · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.75
I liked this more than I thought I would

[Selina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book and flew through it. It was recommended to me and I am so glad I decided to go for it because I found myself laughing out loud very often. Definitely worth giving a shot if you want to have a good laugh!

[Nikki · Rating 3 out of 5]

I do not quite know why I own this book, although Howie being a fellow germophobe might be the answer. I wanted a quick read and this certainly fit that bill. There were some humorous parts, more serious parts than I expected and the OCD/germ issues which I could totally relate to. I've never been a big fan of "6 year old humor" (Howie claims this is the state he is stuck in), so I do not find many of the things he does all that entertaining. I must say, the chapter where he causes his friend to dress as a woman for a long ordeal was quite entertaining--although he regrets doing this. But come on, how gullible can you be to believe the situation? It's Howie Mandel, come on! I walked away from the book still not feeling I knew too entirely much (his relationship with his wife and his OCD could have been included more), although I do understand why he acts more like a child than a man now. I'll try not to hold the ridiculous contestants he votes through on America's Got Nutcases Talent against him, although it is really REALLY difficult. Poor Piers Morgan. (Considering I've only caught the show a couple of times I can only imagine the therapy Piers might now require from contestants and judges both.)

[Gina · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a really easy read, and holds your interest. The only reason I can't endorse it wholeheartedly is that so many of his pranks are so rotten. It's not that he is mean-spirited, because he really isn't, but his sense of humor is geared towards making others uncomfortable, and sometimes he does not think them through. He admits that, but it still bugs me.

That being said, I think he does accomplish something worthwhile in being able to communicate honestly and humorously about OCD.

[Kris · Rating 2 out of 5]

Here's the deal, don't waste your time. It's no secret that Howie has OCD, but his bigger issue might be his ADHD. He is very impulsive and has played some horrendous practical jokes on friends and strangers.

[Laurie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not particularly a Howie Mandel fan, but read this out of the fascination of learning more about his struggle with OCD. An interesting and fast read that left me with more respect and admiration for Howie Mandel than I would've ever thought I'd have.

[Chelsea · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not funny and pretty much a bore. Poorly written and I wonder why I kept reading? Don't waste your time on this one!

[Lobstergirl]

No worries. I would never touch you.

[Kim Ammons (youthbookreview) · Rating 2 out of 5]

A quick read and the parts about his OCD and ADHD were interesting, but I wish I'd had a content warning for major transphobia and homophobia. I literally finished one chapter feeling physically ill.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've become obsessed with Deal or No Deal reruns over the last few months (thanks Pluto TV), so I've had some time to "get to know" Howie Mandel. I noticed that he would do fist bumps to contestants, so I looked him up to see why. That is when I learned of his germaphobia, OCD, and ADHD. It's also when I found out he had written a book.

I was immediately interested in reading it, and I'm so glad I did because I loved every minute of this book. Howie describes some of his upbringing and foray into comedy (which tbh is something that I didn't know much about from him, I've only known him as the host of Deal or No Deal and a judge on America's Got Talent). Learning about this was interesting because some of Howie's humor and behavior during his earlier years seem so out of place from what I've seen of him today. But it made for captivating reading.

The best parts of the book are when he talks about his struggles with mental health. It's so refreshing to see someone, especially a celebrity, speak about their problems, and how it impacts their daily life. I fully believe that more people, especially those who are in the public eye, should do that. There would be less of a negative perception of mental health if we did.

As other reviews have said, the book does jump around a lot between time periods and topics, but honestly that just feels like a representation of who Howie is, so it didn't bother me. I also listened to the audiobook as I read, and let me tell you, that is the definitive way to do it. Howie is a great narrator and keeps you engaged throughout.

Even if you don't know a lot about Howie Mandel or aren't a fan or whatever, I still think this book is worth reading for the discussion on mental health alone. It certainly deserves more than the 3.76 average it currently has on Goodreads.

[Sophia Luo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is easily one of the funniest books I've ever read. I decided to read this book because Howie is a very funny comedian and when I heard that he wrote a book, I wanted to read it. I really liked it because he talks about things that shouldn't be funny but makes them funny anyway. From this book, I learnt that there is always a positive side to things. A character in this book that was interesting to me was Howie because he has been through a lot of tough times but he never shows it and always appears happy. This book is funny but also very inappropriate so don't read it if you don't like inappropriate things. Don't say I didn't warn you. Everyone should read this book.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This audiobook is narrated by Howie Mandel and gives a glimpse into his life and thought processes. He tells how he was outed unwillingly as a “germaphobe” and how his life has been impacted by ADHD and OCD. It sounds like an honest account and he often says this isn’t an excuse for my bad behaviour but that’s just how my mind was. He took his pranks a little too far at times. I really enjoyed and would recommend.

[Amber Weintraub · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not always a fan of comedians - and Howie really articulated why for me! - I'm here from Deal or No Deal.

I really enjoyed listening to Howie share his stories, it was so easy to listen to and it felt just like a conversation. I appreciated the more heart warming moments, and vulnerable stories about his childhood, coming out to the public about his OCD (unintentionally), his ongoing heart condition, and how taking things too far for the joke often impacted his life.

[Lauren Theve · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book “Here’s The Deal: Don’t Touch Me” by Howie Mendel and Josh Young was a great read that I personally enjoyed. In this book it explains Howie Mendel and his story of growing up with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), along with all the events that took place leading him to where his is today, a famous comedian. This book was
quick to get into and it kept your attention throughout it making you never wanting to put the book down.

[Patricia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think Howie Mandel is lucky he has any friends. He makes himself sound like the biggest jerk. And does not apologize for it.

[Jeff Grosser · Rating 4 out of 5]

Knowing everything that Howie has overcome and deals with everyday makes his success so amazing. It takes a very strong person to function with OCD and I tip my hat to you Mr. Mandel.

[Tiffany Fritz]

howie is brilliant, his passion for dark humor amuses me. I love how he interprets pain.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely hilarious

[Jen Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think he was doomed from the beginning to have OCD. Interesting book about his life which is not all bad but wow!

[Jessalyn Plant · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would have given this book four stars, but it was a bit crass for my liking. That being said, Howie is a very funny guy and this book has lots of entertaining stories. I enjoyed listening to his audio version of this book - it was a fun listen. He also shared more about his experiences with ADHD and OCD which was helpful and good to learn more about.

[Patrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Took off 1 star because this man, the champion of hidden camera pranks, had a camera inserted through his crotch and up to his heart. Where's the footage, Howie? I want to see a candid heart zapping.

[Morgan (MorgiesCorner) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 i had a hard time rating this because I wasn’t interested in it for his comedy or entertainment as much as his experience living with OCD- overall it was a quick and fun listen and I found his parts on OCD to be INCREDIBLY relate able. Overall I enjoyed the audio of this.