Santasploitation

by Judith Sonnet

Santa wakes up on Christmas morning. He's been drugged, tied to a chair, and is in danger.

A group of deviant women have abducted him, and they won't let him go until he gives them exactly what they want for Christmas.

Featuring hard violence, disturbing twists, and really dark humor... Santasploitation is a Christmas gift from the dark mind of Judith Sonnet.

Genres: Horror, Novella, Fiction, Short Stories, Splatterpunk, Christmas

47 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 8, 2022

About the author

Used to write extreme horror but now I write WEIRD horror and I'm having a blast with it! Check out OUR SARNATH on November 22nd!

Reviews

[Peter Topside · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, one thing is for certain. I'll never look at taffy the same way again. Actually, I may just stop eating it altogether. This was just a really messy book. Candy cane sodomy, excreting fresh made candies, Santa using toys as deadly weapons, etc. It was definitely...different. Not sure if I liked the reimagining better or worse than one of the classic feel good stories. But at least Judith Sonnet took the chance here. It's very, very short and I did want a lot more from it. I felt like it touched on some potentially fun plot points, but never fully explored any of it. Even a flashback of Santa and Lizzie's mom would have sufficed. But there could have, and should have, been a great deal more development globally in the story. However, majority was just rape and body horror. And for that reason, there were more misses than hits.

[Laurie (barksbooks) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oof poor Santa 😳

[Hail Hydra! ~Dave Anderson~ · Rating 4 out of 5]

One story from Fetid Festivities: Three Holiday Horror

[Carrie Shields · Rating 4 out of 5]

"𝑯𝒐...𝒉𝒐..." 𝑺𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒖𝒑 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒔. "𝑯𝒐-𝒍𝒆𝒆 𝒔𝒉*𝒕!"

I didn't get to this novella during the holidays, so I made a concerted effort to include it in my January backlist, and what a wild ride it was! More bizarro than extreme, Santa Claus (who poops taffy, by the way) is drugged and kidnapped by a woman because her friend is terminally ill, and the one thing she wants most for Christmas is Santa.

There was A LOT of humor in this short tale, and nowhere near the amount of sex and gore I was expecting. Santa's back story was absolutely hilarious, down to his split from Mrs. Claus, which he's managed to keep out of the tabloids.

So, will being on the Naughty or Nice list affect Santa's performance? You'll have to give this one a try to find out for yourself! Available now in paperback and on KU.

[Rebecca · Rating 2 out of 5]

Poor Santa 🙁

[Sarah🥀⛓️ · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to read this because of the ridiculous premise, & it certainly delivered! Would I read this again? No, but it definitely was creative- I’ll give it that. I was hoping there’d be alittle more to the story, or some psychological twist- as that’s how I prefer horror content.. But it was basically a sex fueled abduction story, with poor ‘ San-Ta’ in the crosshairs. I can’t really say much without giving away spoilers. Would highly not advise this book to sensitive readers. For fans of body horror, or a dark sense of humor.

[Marisa (marisalynnreads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Judith Sonnet is the queen of splatterpunk

I told myself I'd never read another one of her books after No One Rides for Free, but here we are... & let me tell you.... this one did not disappoint. It was very mild in comparison, and honestly, I feel this would be a good intro into splatterpunk.

Santa wakes up, finding it's now Christmas day and he's been drugged and held captive.... All he has to do is grant a dying woman's last wish.

Let's just say I'll never look at candy the same again....

I can't help but laugh over the absurdity of this book. I just want to live inside Judith's brain for a day.

TW:
- Explicit violence
- Rape/sexual assault
- Death
-Christmas will never be the same for you

As always with splatterpunk, my rating comes from the quality of writing, the storyline, and plot. I try to take the acts themselves out of context because I know splatterpunk is NOT for everyone. I will not deny that someone is a good writer just because I don't like the context they're writing about.

[Horror Sickness · Rating 2 out of 5]

This short story takes place during Christmas Eve. Santa has been kidnapped by three women and he fears he won’t be able to deliver all the presents to the kids on the good list on time.

He wakes up tied to a chair and confused. The women will explain to him their plan and what it is expected of him.

This was a short story and I love the idea to kidnap Santa but the humor and the type of violence in this story were not for me. It is safe to say I was left traumatized and not in a good way.

[Alex | | findingmontauk1 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Who knew "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" could result in such a lifelong traumatic crush and sexual, sadistic obsession?! I like how this took place in the 70s because it's almost like I could see and hear all those vintage Christmas vibes with big neon bulbs and all that cozy haze. Poor Santa. Poor poor Santa...

[Drac · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this better than A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara.

[dani]

god idk

[Branomander YT · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had a few instances of nose-breath laughing, or however you say that, but otherwise, there really isn't much to like here, other than the taffy lore reveal which I did NOT need to know. The whole joke is that Santa is basically a divorced alcoholic after Ms. Claus cheated on him with Jack Frost. Its funny enough for a while, and there are some goofy christmas-style descriptions, but the book is definitely more focused on the torture done to Santa.

This has sexual violence, extreme gore, and extreme bodily fluids. Its undoubtedly shocking, but its festive reason for existing just doesnt make this worth it.

Maybe Im crazy but this honestly could have been a whole book, with more worldbuilding and character work (yeah I know, as if that'd happen). It could have been more than just torture, sexual assault, and taffy poo.

Also, I normally dont care about typos and whatnot, but they were certainly a presence in this book.

Festivity: 5/10

Really though, what was I even expecting. The title is Santasploitation. enough said.

[Mike Prewitt · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick holiday treat

All I can say is that I'm glad I'm not Santa. This story was odd, but it definitely bought that Judith Sonnet flavor. Gory and dark.

[Jason Harlow · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this as part of some "Christmas Evil in July" Booktube reading prompt and was pretty disappointed. Author Judith Sonnet (who has apparently done some really wild stuff that I need to check out) seemed to have thrown this together without putting a lot of thought into it. The story begins with Santa Claus waking up kidnapped, and he soon discovers that he's about to be sexually abused by a disturbed trio of women. I certainly expected graphic sexual content and violence throughout, but the attempts to be just plain gross (numerous descriptions of foul odors, bad breath, snot, etc.) kinda took me out of it. There were also two typos that were pretty inexcusable. Though entertaining, this is an incredibly short read that's pretty mindless and a waste of time overall. Not recommended, though I look forward to checking out more from this author.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Definitely more bizarro than straight up gorefest but I really enjoyed it. There was still enough gore and slight comedy to make me happy. Plus the irony at the very end with Santa's last word made me giggle. He wouldn't say the "bad thing" while being tortured, oh no. Had to wait and say it at some mediocre event.

[Michael · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm always on the lookout for warped Christmas tales and tales of horror that occur around Christmas, so when I saw this, I had to put it on my Christmas reading list. I was hoping for something along the lines of Santa Steps Out, raunchy, irreverent, and laugh-out-loud funny, but sadly all I got here was the raunchy, and not the good kind. The author, in a note at the end of this mercifully short work, hopes the reader can laugh at what transpires between the covers, but there's nothing to laugh at. Any attempt at humor, dark or otherwise, falls flat.

The story itself has potential, but the author's main purpose, it seems, is to see how far she can go to gross out the reader with her descriptions, but in the end, you just end up rolling your eyes. The one thing I kept wondering while reading this was what the hell happened to Santa's Christmas/elfin magic? Why couldn't he just wink his way out of this situation?

I wish I could recommend this one for fans of dark Christmas tales, but unfortunately, I can't.

[Saphira Adorni · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well, that was something that I never want to think about again

[Chloë-Louise · Rating 3 out of 5]

Judith does it again 👏🏻

[Kara Bachus-Litton · Rating 1 out of 5]

No….just no….if I wasn’t challenged in my online book chat to read this, I’d never read it. It was so bad I couldn’t stop reading….

[Madeleine · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Nice List. Well, that was going to be revised. Nice Girls didn't drug jolly gift givers and restrain them to chairs. That was Naughty List behavior."

This was such a strange story, but I was on board! I felt bad for Santa :( The sexual abuse was hard to read, but it wasn't as graphic as it could've been. I was a bit confused by the very end. I liked Sonnet's afterword!

[Mikepottz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Santa awakes tied to a chair, an ordinary women with a comforting appearance stood before him in a sweater with a smiling reindeer her name Clementine. Think the movie misery but way more fucked up. She had drugged him for a dying friends last wish. Clementine will shove a candy cane into his arse, splintering, blood oozing down the candy cane as it is pulled out. Lizzie's husband abandons her when he finds out she is sick and is captured by Clementine as well. He will have his forehead smashed with a hammer making a sound like a hard boiled egg being cracked and have a funnel shoved in his head with acid causing brain cream to splash onto the table. Santa is made to bang Lizzie with her dry , smelly, hell-hole, a real bad day for Santa. The most Xmas fun since the awesome 80s movie Christmas evil. Bloody bonkers goodness.

[Diana | Indie Book Addict · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s Christmas and Santa is making his rounds to all of those on his nice list. Unfortunately, that all comes to an end when he gets to Clementine Dart’s house. She was on the nice list. This must be a mistake. What happens next for Santa will blow your mind as these deviants try to make a Christmas wish come true for one of their friends.

I honestly didn’t pay much attention to the blurb. I just knew I wanted to read this book and I’m glad I did. I was blown away with Sonnet’s last holiday read, The Gobbler, so I jumped into this one right away. Poor Santa! The things he was subjected to and the humiliation he felt were well captured by Sonnet. It’s gory, gross and it did make me laugh. That’s something I must praise the author for she makes me laugh at dark situations, and then I sit and wonder what is wrong with me. (Insert maniacal laughter)

If you’re looking for a quick, revengeful read to kick off the holiday season, you need this book. You’ll never look at Santa or candy in your stocking the same again.

[Jordan Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars

Well I’ll be on the naughty list for sure this year after reading Sonnet’s latest novella. Santasploitation is dirty, gross, and the kind of Christmas gift you’d get in your stocking next to a lump of coal and a switch. In other words, this is NOT a tale full of Christmas joy.

And yet, despite its dark and mean spirited tone, in typical fashion, Sonnet somehow makes a very NSFW holiday novella incredibly readable and hard to put down. Hell, I actually felt sorry for poor old Saint Nick after finishing this.

Honestly though, at this point I shouldn’t be surprised since she’s managed to keep me buying her stuff for the past 2 years, even though she tends to write in the sub genre of horror that I’m not usually a big fan of. And even then Santasploitation toes the line with dark humor and bizarro than straight up extreme horror.

So if you want a different take on the holidays and aren’t easily offended, give this quick little novella a read, but don’t expect sugarplum fairies and helpful elves on the shelf.

[Nicola (deathandthemacabre) · Rating 4 out of 5]

"If I wasn’t being held hostage, I’d have said this place looked cozy. Christmas- y. Festive. But it’s all a facade. This is the home of a madwoman. There’s nothing holly or jolly about it."

Santa's been kidnapped by a woman seemingly obsessed with Christmas. However, despite refusing to tell Santa why she's taken him, we finally get an explanation, and it's an odd one 😂

This was such an odd but weirdly satisfying little story. The characters are so unlikable, and it's so annoying that they won't tell Santa why they've kidnapped him, but I love how it was written, and I loved the gore and detailed savagery - poor Santa!

[Sarah McKee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Santa is a very unlucky bastard on Christmas Eve. After being drugged and tied up at Clementine’s house, who just so happened to be on the nice list.. Santa learns real quick why his journey to deliver toys to all the good little boys and girls was cut short.
This little novella will make you rethink the definition of what Christmas cheer is, and you’ll quite possibly never eat candy out of your stocking again.

[Tara Losacano · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a fun, nasty little read! When Santa Claus gets kidnapped and realizes what his captors really want, he immediately puts them on the naughty list! This read made me laugh (the taffy😂) and also made me a little sick to my stomach (geriatric genitals are never pretty), and was just an all around amusing tale. Judith is one of my favorite queens of extreme. 5/5 naughty skulls 💀

[William · Rating 4 out of 5]

Entertaining holiday listening 🤓🎉

This kindle ebook novella is from my Kindle Unlimited account

Santa is kidnapped by a woman 👒 for her friend and the fun begins 😄

I would recommend this novella and author to readers who are looking for something different in a holiday novels 😉✨ 2025 😚🎅👀 by

[amirahlynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insane

This was crazier than I expected. Santa gets kidnapped and unfortunately raped. Lizzie has cancer and has a year to live and her wish to to have sex with Santa. Her best friends drug, tie him up and they ruin Christmas.

Tw: kidnap, anal rape, rape, murder, blood

[Aiden Messer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Did I read a Christmas book during July? Yes. Yes I did. And it was amazing! It's dark, funny, and disgusting

[The_5ft_reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Santa's been kidnapped to fulfill a friend's dying wish, what follows is a fun but gross story! Poor santa 🎅 😂