Secret Survivors: Uncovering Incest and Its Aftereffects in Women

by E. Sue Blume

"A resource of excellent caliber...Highly recommended for those who suspect that they are unconscious survivors of abuse and especially for therapists to dig into the darkest shadow part of human existence."
ELIZABETH KUBLER-ROSS, M.D.
SECRET SURVIVORS is the first book to expand the definition of incest to include any adult abuser and to focus on what incest does to survivors. E. Sue Blume shows how incest is often at the root of such problems as depression, sexual and eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse, and phobias and panic disorders. Using this information and the author's guidance, survivors can identify themselves, develop alternative, nondestructive survival techniques and begin again on a new path toward a rich and empowered life.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Abuse, Mental Health

352 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1990

Reviews

[Rojas]

Blume's point regarding a survivors constant attempt to grasp reality/fear of being crazy in a world that continuously denied any wrong doing hit home for me. Great read.

[A.C. Bauch]

I highly recommend this book for any female who is an incest survivor, anyone who loves a female incest survivor, or is counseling a female incest survivor. Though I don't agree with all of the author's ideas and assertions (rarely the case for me anyway), this is the first book I've read that provides such a comprehensive understanding of incest specifically, not just childhood sexual abuse. That the copy I checked out from the library is so worn and tattered saddens me, knowing that there's such demand for a book like this.

[Liaken]

A very good book for those dealing with incest and abuse. It could use a good editor to help cut the repetition and to make the book easier to use. It is hard to "go back to find where she says . . ."

[Carrie Poppy]

The definition of speculative.

[Lisa Anne]

This book was instrumental in helping me understand the far reaching effects of childhood incest. Through her work with survivors, she was able to outline many behaviors and responses that are often found in survivors. Some reviews seem to believe the book offers a checklist for those trying to find out if they were abused. I don't see that intent. For those who've experienced abuse, this book can help the make sense of beliefs, fears and behaviors that result from feeling unsafe and from being betrayed.

[Karen]

I liked this book because it speaks to survivors and serves as an excellent resource, to those counseling others who have gone through this kind of situation. It will stay on my bookshelf and be revisited in the near future.

[Angie crosby]

very hard read but worth it.

[Fishface]

This is a terrific overview of all the collateral damage caused in the lives of incest survivors: women who shower fully dressed, women who find abusers to date and marry, problem drinkers, women who hear voices...The main problem here is that it promotes that everyone-is-an-incest-survivor hysteria we remember so fondly from the early Nineties. Just because you see snakes on the walls or can't remember your whole childhood, it doesn't mean your father raped you, OK? The other issue is that it doesn't discuss anything but problems. There are no solutions in here at all other than a sweeping statement to the effect that if you are having any of the 8,000 problems in this book, you need counseling. Duh!

[Rhonda Rae Baker]

Amazingly so...this book spoke to me volumes! A MUST read for those who want to be whole and to have insight into helping others...exceptionally applicable. Do yourself and your family a favor and read this one!

I can't say enough good things about this book, its something that everyone should look at and consider for you may be the only one to notice someone else that needs help and you yourself may not even know that there are things you deal with that can be healed from within.

This book amazed me and strengthened me...I highly recommend it!

[Milo]

Frighteningly good. Anybody who wants to know or understand incest (whether as a survivor, a loved one of a survivor, or for basic curiosity) should take a peek at this book. Although easy to understand, it may be a more difficult read for those that have a soft spot for this sort of issue.

[Aly]

Extremely difficult but insightful read. I appreciate this book particularly for it’s objective, research-based approach. Secret Survivors provides compassion, information and validation for female survivors of CSA.

[Wynter]

This book has deep respect and love for the incest survivor. The author's language is thoughtful and intentional and despite being 40 years old the text still holds up. I particularly appreciate the affirmation for the us queer survivors and the acknowledgement of how that violation affected us differently. 

I am only upset that I did not read this book sooner in my healing journey. I kept putting off books on incest thinking it would be too intense to confront it head on. Instead, I read books like, The Body Keeps the Score, which were much more traumatic because of how the subject was approached. This book is so approachable I recommend it no matter where you are on your healing journey. 

[Carmen]

Good book

[Cathy Church]

This is a helpful book for anyone who was ever abused at any age, any time. It has helped me to get over the issues that made my life so difficult.

[Emily]

The book is a little old so some of the stats are a bit outdated but (most of) the advice is still applicable.
It should be noted that Blume uses the words "incest" and "child sexual abuse" very broadly. Pretty much, if your abuser was someone you knew she counts it as incest. It doesn't have to be a family member.
It should be noted that if you are into kink this may not be the book for you. I think she has a point in saying that being into bdsm when you've been through child sexual abuse can be a way of trying to reenact the trauma in a "safer" way, and sometimes to detrimental effects (not all doms are good). However, there are people who are naturally into that who haven't been sexually abused. Those small sections could be seen as kink-shaming.

[Aziza Kibibi]

Books for survivors of sexual abuse should be updated. As a society we grow and change; information on coping with any emotional stress and trauma should grow and change as well. Secret Survivors was written in the early 1990's. A time following a period where child molestation was a fad in the media. There were many cases of people claiming they'd been abused and many cases of false memories of sexual abuse implanted in the minds of women by their therapists. The list 'signs of childhood sexual abuse' which the book is based on, has such a large scope of symptoms that it identifies every human issue as a sign of sexual abuse. I mean, not liking water splashed in your face? Come on?
As a survivor of child molestation, I can either debunk many of Ms. Blume's theories, and/or seriously challenge them.
This book will have everyone who reads it thinking they were molested as a child. And even though many are, to have a person that hasn't been molested thinking they were, is very dangerous and very unproductive.