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It's Not That I'm Bitter . . .: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World
In a world where eye cream is made from placenta, Gina Barreca is the lone voice calling out “But wait, whose placenta is it?” She asks the crucial questions: Why is there no King Charming? Why does no bra ever fit? Why are there no tutus in XL? Why do more intelligent women have trusted psychics than have trusted financial advisors? While she definitely wants everyone to know that she's not bitter, Gina does want to know why no one realizes that Anne Bancroft was only thirty-six when she played Mrs. Robinson, the quintessential cougar. In It's Not That I'm Bitter. . . Gina shouts out her message to women everywhere: “You are smart enough to conquer the world, so please stop weeping when you try on bathing suits at T.J. Maxx.” As Gina declares "The world lies to us and we want to believe. We want to believe that, if we wear a pair of palazzo pants with a latex escape hatch built into the stomach area, we’ll appear five pounds slimmer instantly… We torture ourselves, even though we are smart broads."
In deliciously quotable essays on the ability of both chin hairs and tweezers to affect your life, the reason every woman believes she’s crazy, the possibility that the "glass ceiling" may just be a thick layer of men, and thoughts on intimate conversations she’d have with Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Cindy McCain and Sarah Palin, Barreca gleefully rejects the emotional torture, embraces the limitless laughter, and shows other women how they can conquer the world with a sharp wit, good shoes and not a single worry about VPLs.
In deliciously quotable essays on the ability of both chin hairs and tweezers to affect your life, the reason every woman believes she’s crazy, the possibility that the "glass ceiling" may just be a thick layer of men, and thoughts on intimate conversations she’d have with Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Cindy McCain and Sarah Palin, Barreca gleefully rejects the emotional torture, embraces the limitless laughter, and shows other women how they can conquer the world with a sharp wit, good shoes and not a single worry about VPLs.
240 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2009
About the author
Gina Barreca
12 books83 followersDr. Gina Barreca, author of the new book If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse? Questions and Thoughts for Loud, Smart Women in Turbulent Times is also the author of It's Not That I'm Bitter: How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World. Gina has appeared on 20/20, The Today Show, CNN, the BBC, Dr. Phil, NPR and Oprah to discuss gender, power, politics, and humor. Her earlier books include the bestselling They Used to Call Me Snow White But I Drifted: Women's Strategic Use of Humor and Babes in Boyland: A Personal History of Coeducation in the Ivy League in addition to the six other books she's written and the sixteen she's edited. Gina has been called “smart and funny” by People magazine and “Very, very funny. For a woman,” by Dave Barry. She was deemed a “feminist humor maven” by Ms. Magazine and Wally Lamb said “Barreca’s prose, in equal measures, is hilarious and humane.” Gina, whose weekly columns from The Hartford Courant are now distributed internationally by The Tribune Media Company, is a Professor of English at the University of Connecticut, where she’s won the university’s highest award for teaching.
Her B.A. is from Dartmouth College, where she was the first woman to be named Alumni Scholar, her M.A. is from Cambridge University, where she was a Reynold’s Fellow, and her Ph.D. is from the City University of New York, where she lived close to a good delicatessen. A member of the Friars’ Club and the first female graduate of Dartmouth College invited to have her personal papers requested by the Rauner Special Collections Library, Gina can be found in the Library of Congress or in the make-up aisle of Walgreens. She grew up in Brooklyn and Long Island but now lives with her husband in Storrs, CT. Go figure.
Her B.A. is from Dartmouth College, where she was the first woman to be named Alumni Scholar, her M.A. is from Cambridge University, where she was a Reynold’s Fellow, and her Ph.D. is from the City University of New York, where she lived close to a good delicatessen. A member of the Friars’ Club and the first female graduate of Dartmouth College invited to have her personal papers requested by the Rauner Special Collections Library, Gina can be found in the Library of Congress or in the make-up aisle of Walgreens. She grew up in Brooklyn and Long Island but now lives with her husband in Storrs, CT. Go figure.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 71 reviews
July 31, 2009
January 26, 2012 I made a quick second run through this before passing it on to a friend. Barreca goes beyond a breath of fresh air. She's a right bracing breeze.
This was the perfect choice for whiling away a dreary Sunday afternoon. With a title like that I thought it would be all lighthearted silliness, but she also shares some surprisingly profound wisdom about life in general and societal attitudes toward women. I'm always impressed by and a little envious of people who can put into just the right words what we've all observed about ourselves and those around us. Barreca does this with great wit but also with compassion for her fellow women and the pressures they face (beauty, perfection, people-pleasing, not speaking up for oneself).
Much of the humor is subtle, but there were a few times I had to put down the book and gasp with laughter.
A sampling of her wit and wisdom:
On PMS:
"Worrying about retaining water is important only if you are a boat."
On reincarnation:
"I've decided to remake my will---I'm going to leave everything to myself."
On dating:
"If you think you are 'too much' for a guy to handle, weigh carefully the possibility that he's simply 'not enough' for you."
A gentle suggestion for Hillary Clinton:
"Do you think you could stop referring to women in power as 'cracks' in the glass ceiling? It's such an infelicitous metaphor, don't you think?"
On sex:
"I lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came in."
This was the perfect choice for whiling away a dreary Sunday afternoon. With a title like that I thought it would be all lighthearted silliness, but she also shares some surprisingly profound wisdom about life in general and societal attitudes toward women. I'm always impressed by and a little envious of people who can put into just the right words what we've all observed about ourselves and those around us. Barreca does this with great wit but also with compassion for her fellow women and the pressures they face (beauty, perfection, people-pleasing, not speaking up for oneself).
Much of the humor is subtle, but there were a few times I had to put down the book and gasp with laughter.
A sampling of her wit and wisdom:
On PMS:
"Worrying about retaining water is important only if you are a boat."
On reincarnation:
"I've decided to remake my will---I'm going to leave everything to myself."
On dating:
"If you think you are 'too much' for a guy to handle, weigh carefully the possibility that he's simply 'not enough' for you."
A gentle suggestion for Hillary Clinton:
"Do you think you could stop referring to women in power as 'cracks' in the glass ceiling? It's such an infelicitous metaphor, don't you think?"
On sex:
"I lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came in."
August 19, 2011
I'm now reading this book for the second time because I like it so much. It feels like a conversation with my best friend: hilarious, intelligent, and reassuring. I understand the target audience is a little older than I am, but any woman with an honest eye and half a brain would enjoy this read. Furthermore, any man with the desire to better understand women might also want to check it out.
I never realized I was irreverent until I became an adult and suddenly people found my behavior and opinions odd. Gina Barreca reminds me that although I may be odd, I'm neither wrong nor alone. She makes insightful observations about women, men, and everything between the two. I enjoyed the amusing stories throughout, particularly the ones about Tallulah Bankhead and Liz Carpenter. It's Not That I'm Bitter... is "for Fay Weldon" and Barreca includes a quote from her: "Gina, you must write books that people will read." This is not only great advice for writers, but also obvious inspiration: Gina Barreca writes for readers, which means she makes every detail interesting. Most books I read feel like too much investment and not enough payout, but Barreca is an economical writer: little investment, great payout. As for the claim that her writing leaves anything to be desired, I completely disagree and would challenge such criticizers to cite specific examples. If you like your truth with a side of wit and humor, you'll like this.
I never realized I was irreverent until I became an adult and suddenly people found my behavior and opinions odd. Gina Barreca reminds me that although I may be odd, I'm neither wrong nor alone. She makes insightful observations about women, men, and everything between the two. I enjoyed the amusing stories throughout, particularly the ones about Tallulah Bankhead and Liz Carpenter. It's Not That I'm Bitter... is "for Fay Weldon" and Barreca includes a quote from her: "Gina, you must write books that people will read." This is not only great advice for writers, but also obvious inspiration: Gina Barreca writes for readers, which means she makes every detail interesting. Most books I read feel like too much investment and not enough payout, but Barreca is an economical writer: little investment, great payout. As for the claim that her writing leaves anything to be desired, I completely disagree and would challenge such criticizers to cite specific examples. If you like your truth with a side of wit and humor, you'll like this.
June 8, 2009
It's not that I'm a cynic but in making this a mass-market and not solely academic novel, I think Barreca had to self-deprecate and de-fang some of her arguments--so they'd sell. And part of me is indignant both for her and against her because her "girly way of looking at things" is every bit as valid as someone's "womanly" or "manly" or "boyish" way of doing it and she ought to feel no shame in it. Coyness in a book with a chapter posturing against it is rather, well, stereotypically woman isn't it? We don't fight directly, apparently, and Barreca thinks its an issue but not enough of one for her to be radically redefining the means of debate. She's right: feminism's big problem is that we're at a pile-up right now, not moving forward or backwards and just stuck looking around going "now what?" And this book is narrating that dialogue.
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I like it better now that I'm fully done, and have seen some other people's opinions. It IS humor and that has exaggerations and whatnot, which I find problematic, but at the same time it is funny and readable! And sometimes it's better to get everyone thinking a little than to get a few people thinking a lot.
--
I like it better now that I'm fully done, and have seen some other people's opinions. It IS humor and that has exaggerations and whatnot, which I find problematic, but at the same time it is funny and readable! And sometimes it's better to get everyone thinking a little than to get a few people thinking a lot.
November 20, 2013
I have seen Gina Barreca live twice this year and she is FUNNY! Very entertaining and tells it like it is – growing up in an Italian household, funny women stories of bonding, shopping and body issues and I could relate since as she starts off her session with what every woman wants to know – how old is she and how much does she weighs. Okay she’s just a few years old than me and a little heavier, but she’s also taller! That said I expected the book to be really funny. This collection of short stories on a variety of subject was entertaining, but also infused with women’s theory and more of a psychological aspect which her highlights her educational degrees. It’s a good read and entertaining – like many books with little short stories some are better than others. But overall a good short entertaining read.
June 3, 2009
Gina's new book is smart, funny, provocative, and weirdly acute about the most frustrating, embarrassing, and bizarre parts of being a woman in the world these days. My favorite bits? Chapter 5: "Why do Women Worry about Everything While Men Worry about Nothing." There's a part of that story having to do with environmental temperature and gender difference that made me laugh so hard I had to dig out my inhaler from the back of the medicine cabinet. Seriously. In short: if you ladies have any plans for summer reading, get _It's Not That I'm Bitter_. It doesn't solve the ills of the world, necessarily, but it helps you laugh like hell at them!
January 7, 2013
Reading It’s Not That I’m Bitter … is like watching a stand up comedy routine, without being subjected to the inevitable annoying heckler in the audience. Unless you count my Siamese if I happen to be reading during his treat time.
The great thing about stand up comics is that they are simply stating facts about everyday life. They just happen to point out what nobody else is willing to, or they put a fantastic spin on the facts.
Gina Barreca has this down to a science when it comes to the daily life of the us over forty gals.
To read the full review visit http://silverandgrace.com/book-review...
The great thing about stand up comics is that they are simply stating facts about everyday life. They just happen to point out what nobody else is willing to, or they put a fantastic spin on the facts.
Gina Barreca has this down to a science when it comes to the daily life of the us over forty gals.
To read the full review visit http://silverandgrace.com/book-review...
December 3, 2009
Amy Bloom says it best:
"Some people are funny in an acid-edged cocktail lounge, like Dorothy Parker, in a smoky French cafe, like David Sedaris, or in a crazy English country house, like P.G.Wodehouse. Gina is funny in your kitchen, in the ladies' room of your favorite restaurant, in the awful dressing room with forty-seven ugly bathing suits around you. Gina Barreca is funny, for real."
"Some people are funny in an acid-edged cocktail lounge, like Dorothy Parker, in a smoky French cafe, like David Sedaris, or in a crazy English country house, like P.G.Wodehouse. Gina is funny in your kitchen, in the ladies' room of your favorite restaurant, in the awful dressing room with forty-seven ugly bathing suits around you. Gina Barreca is funny, for real."
February 3, 2013
Funny, funny, funny! This is a must read for any woman over the age of 40. Witty, sarcastic, and everything you've always wanted to say to the world. It's not that I'm bitter is the kind of book women should leave on the coffee table as a conversation starter!
November 17, 2020
Barreca is indeed bitter. Not only that, but reading this book has made me bitter as well.
There's just not a lot going on here. I could tell the author was an academic because she kept interrupting her conversational tone with long, clunky sentences of analysis, but none of them were particularly insightful or new. I'm having trouble remembering any specific essays, and I only finished the book a week ago. The only one that stands out in my mind is the one about a spam email the author received, because I planned to make some joke in my review about how this book is about as entertaining as clearing out your spam folder.
That said, it didn't offend me in any way. I don't think I disagree with the author's opinions. Or maybe I did? I don't remember because, more than outright bad, this book is just plain dull.
There's just not a lot going on here. I could tell the author was an academic because she kept interrupting her conversational tone with long, clunky sentences of analysis, but none of them were particularly insightful or new. I'm having trouble remembering any specific essays, and I only finished the book a week ago. The only one that stands out in my mind is the one about a spam email the author received, because I planned to make some joke in my review about how this book is about as entertaining as clearing out your spam folder.
That said, it didn't offend me in any way. I don't think I disagree with the author's opinions. Or maybe I did? I don't remember because, more than outright bad, this book is just plain dull.
March 30, 2010
Although this book is probably geared more towards women in their 40's and 50's, I (at 28) still found this book hilarious, relevant, and engaging. Barreca has a way with words that not only disarms the reader but then charms the pants of of them. The book is essentially a series of essays on what it's like to be a woman in this day and age, many including our acceptence of bizarre fashion rituals and societal expectations (just wait until you read the essay on the 'rogue hair,' ladies know what I'm talking about). Despite the superficial appearance of the book and Barreca's light, funny way of writing, she brings up issues of agism, sexism, and marital strife with grace and wit. If you are looking for a humorous take on the life and trials of the average American woman, sit down with Barreca and get ready to laugh!
September 16, 2009
I got this one from the New Books shelf at the library thinking it might be funny after flipping through it; at the same time, I was leery of an author whose occupation is shown as "Professor of English and Feminist Theory". Overall, the book is quite humorous, concentrating upon the many ways that women of a certain age ("between work-study and cremation") beat up on themselves, for lack of a better term. I didn't find her perspective so much anti-male, but that she makes generalizations about men with which I disagree.
Highly recommended
Highly recommended
June 12, 2009
I'm spoiled by essays. See, I expect everything to be as funny as Jen Lancaster or David Sedaris, and when they aren't I'm slightly disappointed, and may judge a perfectly good book of essays too harshly. I may have begun to do that with this book, and then made myself enjoy it on its own merits and it was quite entertaining. Lots of stuff about the crazy things that women do and think. Very relatable
June 17, 2009
If I could I would give this book 2.5 stars. It is not as bad as the other books I have given two stars to, but not as good as most of the books I have given 3 stars.
There were a couple of parts of this book that made me laugh out loud, but they were toward the beginning and didn't reappear. I think there is a good chance I would have liked this book more if I was 20 years older as the author seems to be middle aged and wrote for that audience.
There were a couple of parts of this book that made me laugh out loud, but they were toward the beginning and didn't reappear. I think there is a good chance I would have liked this book more if I was 20 years older as the author seems to be middle aged and wrote for that audience.
March 24, 2013
This book was at turns thought-provoking and outright funny, but always relateable. My favorite parts were those regarding "incidental mothering" (that's part of my job, too!) and Chapter 21: "Will This Shroud Make Me Look Fat?" Anyone who experiences anxiety over decisions she's made, things she's said, or wants reassurance that she's not alone will enjoy this quick read.
November 6, 2014
Gina Barreca offers the unique kind of wit and wisdom that makes me simultaneously nod my head in empathy and laugh out loud. After having the pleasure of seeing her speak in person, I could mentally hear her relaying each of these stories in her own gifted voice and words. I am only bitter I cannot write like this author. Five stars and two thumbs-up. Barreca is a treasure.
June 16, 2009
"Love is blind" No, love is not blind. ... But love is certainly hard of hearing. If people always heard what other people said, or did not choose to ignore what they meant, it would be impossible to be in love."
Favorite chapter: "How much of a crazy astronaut lady are you?"
Favorite chapter: "How much of a crazy astronaut lady are you?"
July 31, 2009
Very funny! I enjoyed the political commentary as well as the social commentary. My favorite passage was perhaps the one about young women on the beach being like gazelles in their native habitat--something age makes one appreciate more each year!
August 5, 2009
What I know when I finish this book is that (1) I'm guilty of many of her stupid-traps-women-fall-into descriptions and (2) I want her to be my friend! There are some major laugh-out-loud lines in these essays and she really gives you perspective on how ridiculous we can all be.
September 8, 2009
I was looking for a light, funny read and this was just what I wanted. If you like Jen Lancaster or Laurie Notaro, you will probably enjoy this one. Barreca is witty and snarky, but sometimes can be a little bit preachy. This was a very quick read
June 8, 2009
Funny, inspiring, and thought provoking...I kept wanting to write in the margins, but the book belongs to the library!
June 9, 2009
This is a funny book.
January 19, 2010
I loved it. So many
May 21, 2011
Hysterical and fun... can't wait to finish it!
September 8, 2011
I enjoy her style and humor.
December 31, 2011
Fun and funny.
August 3, 2012
Absolutely love it. Laughed the entire first chapter. Sometimes I feel she is writing about me!
September 29, 2012
Some parts are very funny for the right women. Bought the book after seeing the author speak. The book is entertaining and a quick read.
November 16, 2015
Very funny and insightful.
January 9, 2016
This book made me feel 49 years old. And American. Two of the worst things.
May 19, 2020
I love Gina 's wit. She really makes you think about Why we do certain things and the differences between women & men's thought processes. Although she is a feminist, I feel that she never really puts down men, as so many do. Her books always make me smile, but she is just hilarious in person. Wonder what her classes are like? I'm sure they are entertaining as well as educational.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 71 reviews