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309 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published September 29, 2009
“Look at Grandpa Cletus! He’s been eating dog brains again, and now he’s drunk. It will take me half an hour to hose him off.”Yep, that's right, Grandpa's eating dog brains . But that's not all. We also have three dimensions (the Weird has magic, the Broken doesn't and the Edge is in-between), a necromancer, an irresistible lynx changeling, FOGL, gun-loaded trips to Wal-Mart (you can never be too careful), slavers, a 107-year-old Grandma who doesn't look a day older than 55, a cape-wearing, sword-wielding aristocrat straight out of a Regency novel, take-me-home-with-you-or-leave-me-the-hell-alone-challenges, a make-out bunker, a fishy shapeshifter, fainting epidemics, quite a few queen bitches, several scumbags, a very evil, slightly inhuman villain…
Draytons were always unlucky. Too smart and too twisted for their own good. Grandpa was a pirate and a rover. Dad was a gold digger. Grandma was stubborn like a goat and always thought she knew better than anyone else. Mom was a tramp.Told you things weren't peachy for Rose. To make things worse her mother-the-tramp died when she was a teenager, her father abandoned her and left her to raise her much younger brothers by herself. She has too much magic for her own good (which makes her great broodmare material), a crappy and illegal cleaning lady job, several banes of her existence, and barely enough money for food and gas. But hey, it's not all bad. She might be a damsel in some distress but she sure doesn’t need to be rescued. She's pretty good with crossbows, great with guns and has the strongest magical flash in the Edge. She's tough, she's stubborn, she's loyal, she's snarky. I'm telling you the girl is cool. Very cool.
True, Declan was heartbreakingly beautiful and hypnotic to watch. But she would have even more fun when she watched that muscled back and that perfect ass recede as he walked down the path away from her house, never to return.Well hello there, Declan. Oh I'm dreadfully sorry, my Lord. How dare I address you in such a vulgar way? Introducing Earl Declan Riel Martel Camarine, aka Lord Submarine. Blueblood aristocrat, hunk in residence and aggravating knight in shining armour. Except that his intentions aren't so pure. He might even have a hidden agenda. Or two. Can't trust anyone from the Weird anyway. Very true. Sly he can be. Exasperating too. And a total snob. A haughty one at that. He's brash too. And did I mention he was arrogant? I think I'm in love.
He grimaced. “You’re rude, vulgar, and you speak in an atrocious fashion. You’ll take so much work before you can be presentable. And you actually feel that you’re a suitable spouse for me?”
“It’s not flattery,” he said coldly. “Flattery requires exaggeration. I’m merely stating a fact. You’re a beautiful woman wearing an ugly sack of unnatural color.”Oooh yeah, the guy knows how to sweep a girl off her feet! And you know what? He has a fertile imagination when it comes to "private activities." Irresistible I tell you! He's also good with swords, loyal, brave and great with kids. Hey, I said he could be an asshole, I never said he wasn't a prince charming of sorts. There is a BIG problem though. He has blond hair. *sighs* I think the Andrews and I need to have a serious conversation about their hunks. We can't go on like this. The worst thing is, the Andrews don't play fair. Not only do they come up with an aggravatingly yummy blond alpha male, they deem it necessary to hit you with lines like this:
“You’re the measure of my wrath.”Seriously?! Just hit me on the head once and for all and get it over with. It would sure save me lots of swooning, sighing, fainting, panting etc. Thank you.
“I want you to swear that you won’t attempt to molest me.”
He looked her over very slowly. “If I chose to molest you, it wouldn’t be an attempt. And you would be most enthusiastic about it.”
Rose felt heat rise to her cheeks. “On second thought, I’m not sure that my house is big enough to contain you and your ego. Few places are.
You're the measure of my wrath