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Dear Mom: Everything Your Teenage Daughter Wants You to Know But Will Never Tell You
Hear your daughter’s heart…
without the angst, arguments, or arm-wrestling
Raising a teen daughter can be like trying to chart a course underwater. You can drown in an ocean of one-word answers, defensive conversations, and unpredictable outbursts, and never get anywhere. Popular teen girls’ novelist Melody Carlson helps you cut through murky, deep, uncharted and seemingly unsafe waters so you can hear what your daughter’s really trying to tell you through her anger, silence, and mixed
“I need you, but I won’t admit it.”
“I’m not as confident as I appear.”
“I have friends. I need a mother.”
Instead of focusing on outward behaviors, Dear Mom captures your daughter’s heart and soul. You can know your daughter’s hopes and fears, doubts and dreams about her identity, guys, friendships, and even you. And you can connect on a deeper, more intimate level that will carry both you and your daughter through the stormy seas of life.
without the angst, arguments, or arm-wrestling
Raising a teen daughter can be like trying to chart a course underwater. You can drown in an ocean of one-word answers, defensive conversations, and unpredictable outbursts, and never get anywhere. Popular teen girls’ novelist Melody Carlson helps you cut through murky, deep, uncharted and seemingly unsafe waters so you can hear what your daughter’s really trying to tell you through her anger, silence, and mixed
“I need you, but I won’t admit it.”
“I’m not as confident as I appear.”
“I have friends. I need a mother.”
Instead of focusing on outward behaviors, Dear Mom captures your daughter’s heart and soul. You can know your daughter’s hopes and fears, doubts and dreams about her identity, guys, friendships, and even you. And you can connect on a deeper, more intimate level that will carry both you and your daughter through the stormy seas of life.
224 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2009
About the author
Melody Carlson
424 books3,405 followersMelody Carlson is the award-winning author of over two hundred books, several of them Christmas novellas from Revell, including her much-loved and bestselling book, The Christmas Bus.
She also writes many teen books, including the Diary of a Teenage Girl series, the TrueColors series, and the Carter House Girls series.
Melody was nominated for a Romantic Times Career Achievement Award in the inspirational market for her books, including the Notes from a Spinning Planet series and Finding Alice, which is in production as a Lifetime Television movie. She and her husband serve on the Young Life adult committee in central Oregon.
She also writes many teen books, including the Diary of a Teenage Girl series, the TrueColors series, and the Carter House Girls series.
Melody was nominated for a Romantic Times Career Achievement Award in the inspirational market for her books, including the Notes from a Spinning Planet series and Finding Alice, which is in production as a Lifetime Television movie. She and her husband serve on the Young Life adult committee in central Oregon.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
September 3, 2018
Not sure I agree with everything she proposed but did make notes on other things to do if run into certain situations.
August 11, 2013
Melody Carlson raised two boys but feels a special connection with girls. And it's totally legit to feel a special connection with girls and to be able to counsel and advise them but (could you feel that coming?) to be a mom to them is a wee bit different than mothering teen boys and living with the teen girls. :)
Dear Mom is a good book, it's clever in its style and tone. Carlson adopts the teen girl as her POV and book is written as a letter to the Mom from the teen girl. Very engaging and clever. And Carlson does have some good counsel for parents from teen girls, however (could you feel that coming?), as a Mom of teen girls - I live with them and they live with me - I feel like perhaps a companion book could be written. Perhaps titled "Dear Daughter: Everything Your Mom Wants You to Know". A few months ago my husband and I sat our teen girls down and expressed to them that we had never been parents of teen girls so we are all learning together. And how we extend grace to them we will probably need a little grace ourselves. They got it. And so all four of us together are finding our way in these teenage years.
Some of what Carlson's POV teen expressed is legit on the teen girl part but not entirely informed. Certain things that the teen girl tells her Mom she needs her Mom to do or not do are good in theory but when you are living it out in real life it isn't so cut and dried. And yes, God has a big BIG part to play in this. Yes, as parents we need to trust God with our daughters - and sons. But we also have given our lives to these children and we know some things about them, and life, that they don't even know. So just as a teen girl might have some things to say to her Mom, or parents, so we have some things to say as well. Carlson misses that in her book. She does have the POV teen express thanks and honesty about the Mother/Daughter relationship but she misses what Mom's of teen girls go through. Very different than mothering teen boys. Very different. (How do I know since I have teen girls and not boys? Because I have friends who are Mom's of teen boys and we talk. *grin*) Carlson also assumes that Mom's speak in cliches and dole out disrespect to their daughters under the guise of "Because I'm the Mom, that's why." In my circle, fairly large btw, none of the Mom's I know including me speak in cliches or dole out disrespect. I respect my daughters and I am not above apologizing and seeking forgiveness when I have done wrong. I understand not all Mother/Daughter relationships work this way but I think more do than don't. I think that if we expect our daughters to be a certain way - moody, etc - then they will be but we can, and should, expect more from them. They rise to it and we rise to better behavior (responses, etc) as well.
Carlson's book certainly gave me some things to think about and some discussion points for my daughters and I but it also gave me the itch to write the companion book I mentioned above. :)
Dear Mom is a good book, it's clever in its style and tone. Carlson adopts the teen girl as her POV and book is written as a letter to the Mom from the teen girl. Very engaging and clever. And Carlson does have some good counsel for parents from teen girls, however (could you feel that coming?), as a Mom of teen girls - I live with them and they live with me - I feel like perhaps a companion book could be written. Perhaps titled "Dear Daughter: Everything Your Mom Wants You to Know". A few months ago my husband and I sat our teen girls down and expressed to them that we had never been parents of teen girls so we are all learning together. And how we extend grace to them we will probably need a little grace ourselves. They got it. And so all four of us together are finding our way in these teenage years.
Some of what Carlson's POV teen expressed is legit on the teen girl part but not entirely informed. Certain things that the teen girl tells her Mom she needs her Mom to do or not do are good in theory but when you are living it out in real life it isn't so cut and dried. And yes, God has a big BIG part to play in this. Yes, as parents we need to trust God with our daughters - and sons. But we also have given our lives to these children and we know some things about them, and life, that they don't even know. So just as a teen girl might have some things to say to her Mom, or parents, so we have some things to say as well. Carlson misses that in her book. She does have the POV teen express thanks and honesty about the Mother/Daughter relationship but she misses what Mom's of teen girls go through. Very different than mothering teen boys. Very different. (How do I know since I have teen girls and not boys? Because I have friends who are Mom's of teen boys and we talk. *grin*) Carlson also assumes that Mom's speak in cliches and dole out disrespect to their daughters under the guise of "Because I'm the Mom, that's why." In my circle, fairly large btw, none of the Mom's I know including me speak in cliches or dole out disrespect. I respect my daughters and I am not above apologizing and seeking forgiveness when I have done wrong. I understand not all Mother/Daughter relationships work this way but I think more do than don't. I think that if we expect our daughters to be a certain way - moody, etc - then they will be but we can, and should, expect more from them. They rise to it and we rise to better behavior (responses, etc) as well.
Carlson's book certainly gave me some things to think about and some discussion points for my daughters and I but it also gave me the itch to write the companion book I mentioned above. :)
July 9, 2015
Melody’s new book Dear Mom, is eye opening and comforting at the same time. On the front cover it says, “Everything your teenage daughter wants you to know but will NEVER tell you.” How true is that! I did feel like these might be things my daughter would love to tell me, but wouldn’t for fear of my reaction. It is crisp, gut level honest, and dynamic. I loved it.
God didn’t send us an instruction manuel for parenting children, wouldn’t that be nice! We soon discover as parents what worked for one child doesn’t necessarily mean it will work with the next. We never get this parenting thing down pat. Thank you Melody, for writing this book about our daughter’s hearts and lives; to help us remember what we went through as teenage girls. Oooh, the pain I remembered. Thanks for giving us hope in the middle of this pain.
This is not a book of “to do’s” but a book that takes you to the real heart of our girls. It helped me have a deeper understanding and compassion for my daughter. She doesn’t live such a carefree life after all. This book reveals teenage life today; it’s heart felt and hysterical in parts. Here is a peek into a chapter Melody titled, “Things I don’t like; don’t like about me and things I don’t like about you.”
“When you were my age, did your mother approve of your appearance 24/7? I don’t think so, but maybe I should talk to Grandma about this. I’m sure she’d have something to say.”
“So are you starting to see that my life isn’t as simple and fun and carefree as you like to believe? Are you feeling a tiny speck of empathy for me and girls like me, who are trying to find our way through this complicated, confusing, contradictory adolescent world, without being completely destroyed along the way?”
Here is a list of some of the chapters in this book. “Relationships confuse me sometimes, I need you but you can’t make me admit it”, “You say you listen but sometimes I just need you to hear…. I love how Melody Carlson wrote this book.
I know that I’ll be referring to this book again and again; you will too. Melody gives great insight for moms to help develop a special relationship with our daughters. This will assist you in your attempts to stay connected with your teenage girl and figure out a few things about yourself along the way. Thank you Melody, for this very meaningful and sensitive parenting tool. It’s a wonderful find and a great treasure.
Disclosure of Material Connection:
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”
Nora St.Laurent
The Book Club Network www.bookfun.org
The Book Club Network blog www.psalm516.blogspot.com
Book Fun Magazine www.bookfunmagazine.com
God didn’t send us an instruction manuel for parenting children, wouldn’t that be nice! We soon discover as parents what worked for one child doesn’t necessarily mean it will work with the next. We never get this parenting thing down pat. Thank you Melody, for writing this book about our daughter’s hearts and lives; to help us remember what we went through as teenage girls. Oooh, the pain I remembered. Thanks for giving us hope in the middle of this pain.
This is not a book of “to do’s” but a book that takes you to the real heart of our girls. It helped me have a deeper understanding and compassion for my daughter. She doesn’t live such a carefree life after all. This book reveals teenage life today; it’s heart felt and hysterical in parts. Here is a peek into a chapter Melody titled, “Things I don’t like; don’t like about me and things I don’t like about you.”
“When you were my age, did your mother approve of your appearance 24/7? I don’t think so, but maybe I should talk to Grandma about this. I’m sure she’d have something to say.”
“So are you starting to see that my life isn’t as simple and fun and carefree as you like to believe? Are you feeling a tiny speck of empathy for me and girls like me, who are trying to find our way through this complicated, confusing, contradictory adolescent world, without being completely destroyed along the way?”
Here is a list of some of the chapters in this book. “Relationships confuse me sometimes, I need you but you can’t make me admit it”, “You say you listen but sometimes I just need you to hear…. I love how Melody Carlson wrote this book.
I know that I’ll be referring to this book again and again; you will too. Melody gives great insight for moms to help develop a special relationship with our daughters. This will assist you in your attempts to stay connected with your teenage girl and figure out a few things about yourself along the way. Thank you Melody, for this very meaningful and sensitive parenting tool. It’s a wonderful find and a great treasure.
Disclosure of Material Connection:
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”
Nora St.Laurent
The Book Club Network www.bookfun.org
The Book Club Network blog www.psalm516.blogspot.com
Book Fun Magazine www.bookfunmagazine.com
May 3, 2009
Dear Mom by Melody Carlson is an invaluable book for mothers of teenage daughters. The book is written as a letter from a teenage daughter to her mother confessing the deepest needs and desires from her heart that your daughter will never actually reveal. First of all, I think that Carlson should cough up part of the proceeds to the actual author: my daughter. Because while Carlson's name is on the book, I swear that every word sounds as though it came straight from Molly's mouth! All kidding aside, Carlson nails the ambivalent, passive-aggressive, love you/hate you attitude that is second nature for teenage girls. And because it rings so true, I paid attention to every word. She offers solid advice about when to offer freedom and when to limit it, as well as the best ways to succeed at the nearly impossible task of not embarrassing your daughter. I gave the book to Molly to read to see if she agreed, and not only did she think that it sounded just like her, she occasionally pointed out specific passages to me that she wanted me to pay close attention to. I'm also a bit concerned that Carlson has a hidden camera in my house, because the section about Sisterly Love was taken almost word for word from an argument that took place a few weeks before I received the book. I definitely took those words to heart. I also counted several blessings in the reading, because while the author disavows ever confiding in her mother, Molly and I do have some real conversations, and now I know just how rare and precious that is. I cannot recommend this book highly enough, especially to moms who are struggling to get along with their daughters. Carlson lays out exactly what a girl's expectations are of her mother in a way that a girl could never really verbalize. I learned a great deal from reading this, and I know that Molly appreciated it.
November 12, 2012
Melody Carlson is the author of the Diary Of A Teenage Girl series. I became familiar with her writing when I had my teenage cousin Shayla living with me. Shayla would read in her bedroom and come flopping herself onto the furniture and shriek in teenage excitement that this was “the best book ever!” This endorsement from a typical, hard to please teen was enough for me to respect Melody Carlson for her ability to connect with her audience.
In Dear Mom (Everything Your Teenage Daughter Wants You To Know But Will Never Tell You), Melody weaves a beautiful dialogue from a teenage daughter to her mother.
Through this rambling, stream of thought “letter” mothers will catch the heartbeat of their teen daughters. It’s like climbing in a time machine and before long you remember making -or thinking- the same requests and complaints of your mother.
Dear Mom is written like a letter from a teenager to her mother and it answers many important issues in relating to each other.
Imagine being able to get inside your teenager’s head, to understand why she pushes you away sometimes. Wouldn’t it be nice to get to the bottom of the feelings, attitudes and emotions that they exhibit? Mixed messages can create a mess. Mothers need help, understanding and answers.
Dear Mom is a sweet and carefully worded book that gives you the truth that most teenage girls aren’t prepared to admit. With raw conversation similar to reading a diary, this book captures the emotion and struggle of connecting with Mom.
At the same time, it’s the kind of book a teenage girl should want her Mom to read. It says everything, while respecting the nature and trials of the teenage years. It’s fair. It’s realistic. It’s honest. It’s extremely readable.
In Dear Mom (Everything Your Teenage Daughter Wants You To Know But Will Never Tell You), Melody weaves a beautiful dialogue from a teenage daughter to her mother.
Through this rambling, stream of thought “letter” mothers will catch the heartbeat of their teen daughters. It’s like climbing in a time machine and before long you remember making -or thinking- the same requests and complaints of your mother.
Dear Mom is written like a letter from a teenager to her mother and it answers many important issues in relating to each other.
Imagine being able to get inside your teenager’s head, to understand why she pushes you away sometimes. Wouldn’t it be nice to get to the bottom of the feelings, attitudes and emotions that they exhibit? Mixed messages can create a mess. Mothers need help, understanding and answers.
Dear Mom is a sweet and carefully worded book that gives you the truth that most teenage girls aren’t prepared to admit. With raw conversation similar to reading a diary, this book captures the emotion and struggle of connecting with Mom.
At the same time, it’s the kind of book a teenage girl should want her Mom to read. It says everything, while respecting the nature and trials of the teenage years. It’s fair. It’s realistic. It’s honest. It’s extremely readable.
September 1, 2016
Dear Mom, by Melody Carlson, is the perfect read for any mom who has moments of struggle or absolute frustration in her relationship with her teenage daughter. While I was never the stereotypical teenager I do think that any mom can find at least something to take from this book and strengthen her relationship with her daughter.
Carlson might have her teenage self stuck in her body, and for your benefit! Through this book she opens the door to a teenager’s mind to the mother. Mom, if you read this book you will know what your daughter is thinking, how she does NOT want you to respond, and ways that will be useful in responding. Written as a letter from daughter to mother Carlson never loses the voice of a stereotypical teenager, even going so far at the beginning of the book to plead with mom to put this book down and not read it because it will not help, and mom’s too busy anyway. So if you two got into a fight because she wants to go to the movies on Sunday but you want her home with you to spend time on Mother’s day, go get this book!
This book was provided for review by WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group
Carlson might have her teenage self stuck in her body, and for your benefit! Through this book she opens the door to a teenager’s mind to the mother. Mom, if you read this book you will know what your daughter is thinking, how she does NOT want you to respond, and ways that will be useful in responding. Written as a letter from daughter to mother Carlson never loses the voice of a stereotypical teenager, even going so far at the beginning of the book to plead with mom to put this book down and not read it because it will not help, and mom’s too busy anyway. So if you two got into a fight because she wants to go to the movies on Sunday but you want her home with you to spend time on Mother’s day, go get this book!
This book was provided for review by WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group
May 31, 2009
This was a very cute book, but oh-so-true. It is written as a teenage daughter's letter or book to her mom. She lets us into the inner workings of the teenage girl's mind and heart - some place where we might have been once, but no longer remember. (or maybe our memories are just skewed!) I wish I would have had this book a couple of years ago. Many parts of it could have been written by either my 16 year old or my 14 year old daughters! I will also admit that my own daughters have pointed out some of the very same thing that the girl in this book does!
She addresses everything from self-esteem, talent, fashion, peer pressure, boyfriends - and the list goes on and on. I cannot recommend this book enough for every mom who has a pre-teen or teen daughter! It wasn't like it told me anything I didn't already know or should know based on my own daughters, but sometimes we all need a little reminder!
She addresses everything from self-esteem, talent, fashion, peer pressure, boyfriends - and the list goes on and on. I cannot recommend this book enough for every mom who has a pre-teen or teen daughter! It wasn't like it told me anything I didn't already know or should know based on my own daughters, but sometimes we all need a little reminder!
November 14, 2012
Great reminder that my daughters are watching me and following my example -not necessarily my words.
July 27, 2016
Not too much information given in this book.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews