What do you think?
Rate this book
History of Present Complaint
After a traumatic psychotic episode, a nameless young woman recounts past psychiatric crises in an attempt to make sense of her present and fight for her future.
- GenresPoetry
86 pages, Paperback
Published February 23, 2021
About the author
H.L.R.
4 books28 followersHLR (she/her) is a prize-winning poet, writer and editor from North London, U.K.
Her debut full-length poetry collection History of Present Complaint (First Cut Poetry, 2021) was longlisted in the Poetry Book Awards 2022. Her new poetry pamphlet EX-CETERA was published by Nine Pens in September 2023. She is also the author of micro-chapbook Portrait of the Poet of a Hot Mess (Ghost City Press, 2021).
HLR is a commended winner of the National Poetry Competition 2021, won the Desmond O'Grady International Poetry Competition 2021 and was a winner of the Cambridge Prize for Flash Fiction in 2020. Her poetry has been shortlisted for the Bridport Prize and the Aesthetica Creative Writing Award in 2023, and longlisted in the Plough Prize and Mslexia Poetry Competition 2022.
She holds a BA Hons in English Literature from Royal Holloway, University of London.
Read more of HLR's work at www.treacleheart.com
Subscribe to her newsletter 'Diary of a Hot Mess Poetess' to receive monthly diary entries at https://hlrwriter.substack.com
Find her on Twitter @HLRwriter and on Instagram @hel.rol
For commissions, press and queries: contact@treacleheart.com
Her debut full-length poetry collection History of Present Complaint (First Cut Poetry, 2021) was longlisted in the Poetry Book Awards 2022. Her new poetry pamphlet EX-CETERA was published by Nine Pens in September 2023. She is also the author of micro-chapbook Portrait of the Poet of a Hot Mess (Ghost City Press, 2021).
HLR is a commended winner of the National Poetry Competition 2021, won the Desmond O'Grady International Poetry Competition 2021 and was a winner of the Cambridge Prize for Flash Fiction in 2020. Her poetry has been shortlisted for the Bridport Prize and the Aesthetica Creative Writing Award in 2023, and longlisted in the Plough Prize and Mslexia Poetry Competition 2022.
She holds a BA Hons in English Literature from Royal Holloway, University of London.
Read more of HLR's work at www.treacleheart.com
Subscribe to her newsletter 'Diary of a Hot Mess Poetess' to receive monthly diary entries at https://hlrwriter.substack.com
Find her on Twitter @HLRwriter and on Instagram @hel.rol
For commissions, press and queries: contact@treacleheart.com
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
May 13, 2021
After a while, when you’ve spent a lot of time reading poetry online, it’s a damn challenge to find that which sticks. When it does, you know you’ve got a keeper.
Before 2019 and the events described therein, I had been exposed to HLR’s work via a Writing Collective who published weekly via a popular blog. All the miscreants of that collective had gone off the deep end in some form or fashion, and without exception, all of them were bloody good writers irrespective of mental status.
Maybe some wouldn’t find that impressive. I though it was bloody spectacular.
Sure, it’s easy for some ‘nutter’ to write a bunch of crap on a loo roll and call it art, and who knows? They might win the Booker or the Turner, depending on whim.
But true ability isn’t as easily honed. When you’re plunging in the deep end, the last thing you’re usually able to do, is be a coherent human being.
And while many an artist has produced their finest works when stoned, smashed, mentally impaired, simply mad, it’s more common these days to find well-coiffed Indian youngsters with mesmerizing faces and rich parents, on the poetry best seller list.
HLR is none of the above. In a way it doesn’t matter who she is, except that it really does.
HLR is a mysterious, slightly gorgeous, utterly deviant and exceptionally talented writer and I’d bet my horse on her any day.
From my first encounter with her writing, I was addicted. It isn’t the lesbian in me either, before you ask, but her raw, guttural truth and the ability she has to write like nobody else I’ve read who is still living.
I could easily wax lyrical here, and compare HLR to Plath, Bukowski, Childish, Sexton, or a raft of other notable poets you’d know the names of, and nod approvingly. But that’s not going to cut it.
HLR isn’t a prescription bottle, you can’t take a little blue pill with a cold glass of water and understand her. You have to throw her out of the window, every little pill, and watch where she falls. It’s in her fall, you find her deepest truth.
This couldn’t be exemplified more so than in her debut collection of poetry, History of Present Complaint.
This book is horrifying. Nothing less. I read it in one sitting (perfect length for a kick you in the mouth kind of read that leaves you sweating). To say HLR doesn’t pull back almost makes me laugh maniacally. She doesn’t just not pull back, she’s the fucking ringmaster to this and she’s wields the whip very, very acutely.
So, if you’re faint of heart, naw, don’t go there. Put the dangerous book down and walk the hell away.
This isn’t a gentle read and nobody is apologizing for that. No chance mate.
Let’s get the basics over with:
This is a collection of guttural cries from the unraveling depths of a human being who I happen to know is a really, really good human being and it’s a wonder she’s still with us but a very, very good thing.
This is written by someone who is more naturally gifted at writing than 99.9 percent of poets out there today.
This isn’t something you can forget and you’d better not try.
Okay then.
I’ve worked on #metoo anthologies, and I can’t say I have ever been as disquieted, which I know is a funny old-fashioned term, but so apropos for an age-long disease of society – that is RAPE.
Maybe we need to take the uncomfortable and taboo or pushed under the sofa truths out of their jars now and wake people the fuck UP.
This isn’t the kind of review where you quote ‘clever’ lines and pat the invisible author on the head for accomplishing such great feats.
This author stands with you whilst you read, she’s looking you in the eye, you’re trying to read the book but you’re acutely aware of her staring. It’s a bit like being caught looking through family photos without permission. Yeah, maybe you don’t have the right. Except she’s written this and she’s put it out there, which takes some MONUMENTAL GUTS and you find yourself tongue tied (which you never get, because you’re a verbose so-and-so) in the presence of this. Because it isn’t okay and it isn’t fixed and it’s not safe, and it’s lying on your lap beating its life blood all the way down to the beige carpet.
Dare I be personal and say I can relate intensely to a lot of this. Having lived in the UK before, there are nuances and details that stand out like sign posts pointing to the uncanny ability HLR has for evoking a moment, an era, a time in a person’s life.
And I’ve been her age, I’ve experienced some of the same things, but could I have succinctly and with eloquence and grit, put something like this together? Not in this life time.
HLR is an old soul for every one of her youthful years. She’s actually completely hilarious too, as all very, very clever people tend to be, she’s got that sardonic wit down to a tee and it serves its bilious undertone very well against the horror of the psych ward.
I’m not going to take a quote and put it in isolation to the rest, because this creature she’s whole and she deserves to stay that way. Read all of her or just go away. But don’t, whatever you do, be vanilla.
HLR could possibly be one of the most exciting poets of her generation, and yeah that sounds hackneyed but it’s so close it burns.
She’s not a squeaky clean, healthy, well adjusted young woman. Her dad died. She was really young and she lost her dad. Anyone who says that’s not a huge thing, gets the first kick in the face from me. She’s bipolar, although that’s just an outdated, generalized description that’s overused, but it causes her some massive trouble when awful things happen and she’s trying to cope. She’s an old soul with yellowed finger tips from chain smoking who does her bloody best in a dysfunctional world with a really heavy dose of horror thrown in, just because it can. She’s seen your labels and she’s raised you.
I have read quite a few collections of ‘my time spent in a Psych unit’ and this doesn’t evoke any of them. It’s a story written in blood, with very little distance between the actual moment of it happening and you reading the recollecting. If that doesn’t make the hairs on the back of your neck rise, very little is going to. But like any macabre rendition, it’s also desperately funny and horrifically detailed, guaranteed to dispel any notions of safety.
At times I felt I was reading inside HLR’s brain, the popcorn seizures of her descent and rise, like I inherited the mad vibe and lost my footing. It is this nearness of experience that makes HLR’s writing so genius, yeah, I said it, and I mean it. She’s got ‘that’ ability to crawl into your amygdala and take up residence. It’s pretty disturbing and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Maybe I will quote:
“I will never come back from this
Don’t say that
It’s true. I will never come back from this. If, with the benefit of hindsight, I had the choice between dying in the street and hypothermia and poisoning and those 12 hours in hospital, I’d choose the former, without a doubt. They really hurt me.”
I feel bad for quoting. I feel like I’m wearing a severed piece of a soul on my arm as a handbag by quoting. And yet, it might help you understand the method here. There is no method. You are free of method. This is real writing. It doesn’t need a fucking method. Look around. Use your words. Now THAT’S something.
We lament that art in its myriad of forms, is stale, lacking, aloof. And the purity of this collection is its lack of pretention, self-consciousness and formula. As if you had been there yourself. And there’s a bloody lake of value to that because it’s real, and it pulls you by the throat into the vortex that is trauma and refuses to politely lead you by the hand.
If we are ever going to change, if we are ever going to understand and stop not really giving a shit about sexual violence and mental health and other really important things, then we have to be like this. We have to.
As long as we hide behind formula, ego, methodology, then we may as well keep the same manuscript and just keep changing the name.
“It was real. It was real. It was real to you.”
Should poetry be this visceral? Absolutely.
Should women expose their experiences this blatantly? God yes.
“North London. Edmonton. On a Tuesday afternoon, you are sixteen and psychotic and should be at school.”
All that and more. All that and MORE.
I want something real, don’t you?
History of Present Complaint is real. I wish it weren’t. I really do. Because HLR went through this and that bothers me, a lot. But she got up and she wrote this and that’s what she did then and that’s not all she is by any measure, and you’re going to see that in the coming years, I’m damn certain of it.
Sometimes the ones who wanted to die the most, are the ones who can describe living the best.
In fact, I think I should say … I told you so.
They were the liars.
Before 2019 and the events described therein, I had been exposed to HLR’s work via a Writing Collective who published weekly via a popular blog. All the miscreants of that collective had gone off the deep end in some form or fashion, and without exception, all of them were bloody good writers irrespective of mental status.
Maybe some wouldn’t find that impressive. I though it was bloody spectacular.
Sure, it’s easy for some ‘nutter’ to write a bunch of crap on a loo roll and call it art, and who knows? They might win the Booker or the Turner, depending on whim.
But true ability isn’t as easily honed. When you’re plunging in the deep end, the last thing you’re usually able to do, is be a coherent human being.
And while many an artist has produced their finest works when stoned, smashed, mentally impaired, simply mad, it’s more common these days to find well-coiffed Indian youngsters with mesmerizing faces and rich parents, on the poetry best seller list.
HLR is none of the above. In a way it doesn’t matter who she is, except that it really does.
HLR is a mysterious, slightly gorgeous, utterly deviant and exceptionally talented writer and I’d bet my horse on her any day.
From my first encounter with her writing, I was addicted. It isn’t the lesbian in me either, before you ask, but her raw, guttural truth and the ability she has to write like nobody else I’ve read who is still living.
I could easily wax lyrical here, and compare HLR to Plath, Bukowski, Childish, Sexton, or a raft of other notable poets you’d know the names of, and nod approvingly. But that’s not going to cut it.
HLR isn’t a prescription bottle, you can’t take a little blue pill with a cold glass of water and understand her. You have to throw her out of the window, every little pill, and watch where she falls. It’s in her fall, you find her deepest truth.
This couldn’t be exemplified more so than in her debut collection of poetry, History of Present Complaint.
This book is horrifying. Nothing less. I read it in one sitting (perfect length for a kick you in the mouth kind of read that leaves you sweating). To say HLR doesn’t pull back almost makes me laugh maniacally. She doesn’t just not pull back, she’s the fucking ringmaster to this and she’s wields the whip very, very acutely.
So, if you’re faint of heart, naw, don’t go there. Put the dangerous book down and walk the hell away.
This isn’t a gentle read and nobody is apologizing for that. No chance mate.
Let’s get the basics over with:
This is a collection of guttural cries from the unraveling depths of a human being who I happen to know is a really, really good human being and it’s a wonder she’s still with us but a very, very good thing.
This is written by someone who is more naturally gifted at writing than 99.9 percent of poets out there today.
This isn’t something you can forget and you’d better not try.
Okay then.
I’ve worked on #metoo anthologies, and I can’t say I have ever been as disquieted, which I know is a funny old-fashioned term, but so apropos for an age-long disease of society – that is RAPE.
Maybe we need to take the uncomfortable and taboo or pushed under the sofa truths out of their jars now and wake people the fuck UP.
This isn’t the kind of review where you quote ‘clever’ lines and pat the invisible author on the head for accomplishing such great feats.
This author stands with you whilst you read, she’s looking you in the eye, you’re trying to read the book but you’re acutely aware of her staring. It’s a bit like being caught looking through family photos without permission. Yeah, maybe you don’t have the right. Except she’s written this and she’s put it out there, which takes some MONUMENTAL GUTS and you find yourself tongue tied (which you never get, because you’re a verbose so-and-so) in the presence of this. Because it isn’t okay and it isn’t fixed and it’s not safe, and it’s lying on your lap beating its life blood all the way down to the beige carpet.
Dare I be personal and say I can relate intensely to a lot of this. Having lived in the UK before, there are nuances and details that stand out like sign posts pointing to the uncanny ability HLR has for evoking a moment, an era, a time in a person’s life.
And I’ve been her age, I’ve experienced some of the same things, but could I have succinctly and with eloquence and grit, put something like this together? Not in this life time.
HLR is an old soul for every one of her youthful years. She’s actually completely hilarious too, as all very, very clever people tend to be, she’s got that sardonic wit down to a tee and it serves its bilious undertone very well against the horror of the psych ward.
I’m not going to take a quote and put it in isolation to the rest, because this creature she’s whole and she deserves to stay that way. Read all of her or just go away. But don’t, whatever you do, be vanilla.
HLR could possibly be one of the most exciting poets of her generation, and yeah that sounds hackneyed but it’s so close it burns.
She’s not a squeaky clean, healthy, well adjusted young woman. Her dad died. She was really young and she lost her dad. Anyone who says that’s not a huge thing, gets the first kick in the face from me. She’s bipolar, although that’s just an outdated, generalized description that’s overused, but it causes her some massive trouble when awful things happen and she’s trying to cope. She’s an old soul with yellowed finger tips from chain smoking who does her bloody best in a dysfunctional world with a really heavy dose of horror thrown in, just because it can. She’s seen your labels and she’s raised you.
I have read quite a few collections of ‘my time spent in a Psych unit’ and this doesn’t evoke any of them. It’s a story written in blood, with very little distance between the actual moment of it happening and you reading the recollecting. If that doesn’t make the hairs on the back of your neck rise, very little is going to. But like any macabre rendition, it’s also desperately funny and horrifically detailed, guaranteed to dispel any notions of safety.
At times I felt I was reading inside HLR’s brain, the popcorn seizures of her descent and rise, like I inherited the mad vibe and lost my footing. It is this nearness of experience that makes HLR’s writing so genius, yeah, I said it, and I mean it. She’s got ‘that’ ability to crawl into your amygdala and take up residence. It’s pretty disturbing and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Maybe I will quote:
“I will never come back from this
Don’t say that
It’s true. I will never come back from this. If, with the benefit of hindsight, I had the choice between dying in the street and hypothermia and poisoning and those 12 hours in hospital, I’d choose the former, without a doubt. They really hurt me.”
I feel bad for quoting. I feel like I’m wearing a severed piece of a soul on my arm as a handbag by quoting. And yet, it might help you understand the method here. There is no method. You are free of method. This is real writing. It doesn’t need a fucking method. Look around. Use your words. Now THAT’S something.
We lament that art in its myriad of forms, is stale, lacking, aloof. And the purity of this collection is its lack of pretention, self-consciousness and formula. As if you had been there yourself. And there’s a bloody lake of value to that because it’s real, and it pulls you by the throat into the vortex that is trauma and refuses to politely lead you by the hand.
If we are ever going to change, if we are ever going to understand and stop not really giving a shit about sexual violence and mental health and other really important things, then we have to be like this. We have to.
As long as we hide behind formula, ego, methodology, then we may as well keep the same manuscript and just keep changing the name.
“It was real. It was real. It was real to you.”
Should poetry be this visceral? Absolutely.
Should women expose their experiences this blatantly? God yes.
“North London. Edmonton. On a Tuesday afternoon, you are sixteen and psychotic and should be at school.”
All that and more. All that and MORE.
I want something real, don’t you?
History of Present Complaint is real. I wish it weren’t. I really do. Because HLR went through this and that bothers me, a lot. But she got up and she wrote this and that’s what she did then and that’s not all she is by any measure, and you’re going to see that in the coming years, I’m damn certain of it.
Sometimes the ones who wanted to die the most, are the ones who can describe living the best.
In fact, I think I should say … I told you so.
They were the liars.
July 26, 2021
A few weeks ago I tweeted the #writingcommunity to recommend me their chapbooks; the first response was @HLRWriter who recommended me her CNF chap, History of Present Complaint.
I read the summary on Amazon, and was interested enough in the premise to buy it. When I went to check out, however, I realized that the book is only offered on Amazon UK – which meant exchange rates and what I knew would be a lengthy shipping time. A little reluctantly, I went through with the transaction, and waited patiently for the book to arrive.
Arrive it did, a little bit ahead of schedule, on Saturday the 3rd and in my excitement I immediately began inspecting and reading.
Book Details
History is approximately 86 pages long, and is roughly 5 x 8 inches in dimension. It has a glue binding which held up under (my very intentional) stressful bending, folding and other sorts of general fuck-housing – which means the binding didn’t crack and no pages were lost.
It has a lovely glossy cover which feels thick and durable, and is printed on reasonably good paper which doesn’t bleed under a highlighter or a fountain pen. The font is legible – Garamond, I think – doesn’t smear when you run a thumb over it and while it’s just a hair smaller than the standard, it’s still totally readable. Get some fucking glasses.
There is a content / trigger warning directly after the title page.
The contents is beautifully laid out and shows the care that was taken to put this work together.
DO NOT SKIP THE EDITOR’S NOTE. It details how the book is structured – as it’s not linear – and you will, at first, need this as a reference point as you make your way through the book.
Contents
The book details the story of a woman who experiences a psychotic break and is (involuntarily?) admitted to a psych ward in the UK. The story is presented in stream-of-consciousness style which leaps back and forth in time to events that happened prior to the break, the break itself and what happens afterward.
Review
Reviewing this book is complicated; I have so many thoughts about it that I’m going to need to break the review into bite size portions.
Time and Space
Non-linear story telling is easy to fuck up – just look at Netflix’s version of The Witcher (I said what I said, motherfuckers). It’s significantly more difficult to do this on paper than it is on film – there are no cinematic cues that let you know you’ve jumped backwards or forwards in time.
HLR did this masterfully; she let’s readers know where they are in her journey by titling sections and poems with the headings Present Complaint, History of Present Complaint and Post Complaint – the definitions of which are in the Editor’s Note that I told you not to skip, you asshole. All in all, the transition between time and space is seamless and makes sense. She makes a notoriously difficult style of story telling look like child’s play.
2. Style and Content
Complaint blurs the lines between genres; part creative non-fiction, part poetry, part stream of consciousness journaling which culminates in an incredibly authentic read that puts you inside her head as she’s going through these monumental crises.
What’s really unique about this is that – in the editor’s note that I fucking told you to read – HLR doesn’t say this is her story… she says it’s YOURS. “YOU suffered an acute psychotic episode, during which YOU were detained under Section 135 of the Mental Health Act.”
Very early on the boundaries between reader and writer blur, and you begin taking on her story as your own until you’re jolted back into your own reality when you realize “holy shit, I’ve felt that way before” and then are lulled back into the story again.
I want to point out a fucking BREATH-TAKING line on page 44, “You dragged myself to the kitchen and stood in the doorway.” Full stop. Read that again, do it slowly and hold that line for a few moments. You dragged myself. This is a mind blowing line; one that holds both the duality of reader and author and the coalescing of them simul-fucking-taneously!
There are pages and pages of lines like these that both parallel and juxtapose author and reader that make you stop, and think, and wonder.
3. Theme
I want to begin by saying this; you need to be mindful of how you approach this work. What I mean to say is this: it’s not a fucking sideshow for you to get your jollies off.
Complaint is important for so many reasons:
It restores humanity, which has been robbed by society, and the System, to those who live with mental-illness.
It depicts how very broken the Mental Health system is; simultaneously abusing and neglecting those who have the misfortune to find themselves jailed within it.
Overall
The testitucular fortitude required to be this honest and this vulnerable is Herculean – and HLR fucking NAILED IT. I want to both acknowledge and thank her for that bravery.
This is the book that Girl, Interrupted should have been – could have been – had Vintage had an ounce of backbone and didn’t neuter it to hell and back.
Is History of Present Complaint worth the exchange rate, and the long shipping time? Hell. Yes. I would buy if it was written in shit on a cardboard box. I would wait forever for this. I will re-read it fifty times over.
I read the summary on Amazon, and was interested enough in the premise to buy it. When I went to check out, however, I realized that the book is only offered on Amazon UK – which meant exchange rates and what I knew would be a lengthy shipping time. A little reluctantly, I went through with the transaction, and waited patiently for the book to arrive.
Arrive it did, a little bit ahead of schedule, on Saturday the 3rd and in my excitement I immediately began inspecting and reading.
Book Details
History is approximately 86 pages long, and is roughly 5 x 8 inches in dimension. It has a glue binding which held up under (my very intentional) stressful bending, folding and other sorts of general fuck-housing – which means the binding didn’t crack and no pages were lost.
It has a lovely glossy cover which feels thick and durable, and is printed on reasonably good paper which doesn’t bleed under a highlighter or a fountain pen. The font is legible – Garamond, I think – doesn’t smear when you run a thumb over it and while it’s just a hair smaller than the standard, it’s still totally readable. Get some fucking glasses.
There is a content / trigger warning directly after the title page.
The contents is beautifully laid out and shows the care that was taken to put this work together.
DO NOT SKIP THE EDITOR’S NOTE. It details how the book is structured – as it’s not linear – and you will, at first, need this as a reference point as you make your way through the book.
Contents
The book details the story of a woman who experiences a psychotic break and is (involuntarily?) admitted to a psych ward in the UK. The story is presented in stream-of-consciousness style which leaps back and forth in time to events that happened prior to the break, the break itself and what happens afterward.
Review
Reviewing this book is complicated; I have so many thoughts about it that I’m going to need to break the review into bite size portions.
Time and Space
Non-linear story telling is easy to fuck up – just look at Netflix’s version of The Witcher (I said what I said, motherfuckers). It’s significantly more difficult to do this on paper than it is on film – there are no cinematic cues that let you know you’ve jumped backwards or forwards in time.
HLR did this masterfully; she let’s readers know where they are in her journey by titling sections and poems with the headings Present Complaint, History of Present Complaint and Post Complaint – the definitions of which are in the Editor’s Note that I told you not to skip, you asshole. All in all, the transition between time and space is seamless and makes sense. She makes a notoriously difficult style of story telling look like child’s play.
2. Style and Content
Complaint blurs the lines between genres; part creative non-fiction, part poetry, part stream of consciousness journaling which culminates in an incredibly authentic read that puts you inside her head as she’s going through these monumental crises.
What’s really unique about this is that – in the editor’s note that I fucking told you to read – HLR doesn’t say this is her story… she says it’s YOURS. “YOU suffered an acute psychotic episode, during which YOU were detained under Section 135 of the Mental Health Act.”
Very early on the boundaries between reader and writer blur, and you begin taking on her story as your own until you’re jolted back into your own reality when you realize “holy shit, I’ve felt that way before” and then are lulled back into the story again.
I want to point out a fucking BREATH-TAKING line on page 44, “You dragged myself to the kitchen and stood in the doorway.” Full stop. Read that again, do it slowly and hold that line for a few moments. You dragged myself. This is a mind blowing line; one that holds both the duality of reader and author and the coalescing of them simul-fucking-taneously!
There are pages and pages of lines like these that both parallel and juxtapose author and reader that make you stop, and think, and wonder.
3. Theme
I want to begin by saying this; you need to be mindful of how you approach this work. What I mean to say is this: it’s not a fucking sideshow for you to get your jollies off.
Complaint is important for so many reasons:
It restores humanity, which has been robbed by society, and the System, to those who live with mental-illness.
It depicts how very broken the Mental Health system is; simultaneously abusing and neglecting those who have the misfortune to find themselves jailed within it.
Overall
The testitucular fortitude required to be this honest and this vulnerable is Herculean – and HLR fucking NAILED IT. I want to both acknowledge and thank her for that bravery.
This is the book that Girl, Interrupted should have been – could have been – had Vintage had an ounce of backbone and didn’t neuter it to hell and back.
Is History of Present Complaint worth the exchange rate, and the long shipping time? Hell. Yes. I would buy if it was written in shit on a cardboard box. I would wait forever for this. I will re-read it fifty times over.
March 4, 2021
THE MADNESS, THE BADNESS
The new book History of Present Complaint by HLR is gritty, frightening, and disorienting. And yet there is a kind of structure behind the passages in the book, linkages and hidden struts which unify it until it seems to be a kind of novel of sorts. Putatively, it's not, it is a collection of prose poetry all dealing with various episodes of psychosis in a young woman's life in London, England. Arcs loop back and provide coherence for the reader where it may be lacking for the subject of the passages.
A powerful recurring theme is antagonism to the health care system which is supposed to treat people having acute mental health crises. Nurses, doctors, and social workers say appalling things and do not seem to care about their charges. Nobody trusts the narrator that what she sees and experiences is "real"; there is a preoccupation and an insistence on the narrator's part that she is "not a liar." This insistence on the stubborn truth of it all persists long after the psychotic episode appears to end, suggesting that the scars of such an episode, the epistemological warping that they cause, are something that stays for the rest of your life.
I've read the collection twice and I think that it would take several more readings to find all the interconnections that pop up in the book. I particularly liked the crossword puzzle dotted with a drop of blood on a seemingly significant intersection of words in "Lovely." The impression is that of a very powerful mind that has come unmoored from the decking, that the mind is a brilliant engine of imagined fears and obsessions. Portents of death and suicide, constant attractors, are sadly always just around the corner. One hopes that putting it all down in words (stream of consciousness, disjointed, and gnomic as they may be) provided some relief to the real life bearer of the psychoses. Certainly HLR is not alone in suffering from painful episodes of psychosis, and somebody might see their own uncomfortable, horrible experiences reflected back to them in the crucible of art, and feel comforted.
The new book History of Present Complaint by HLR is gritty, frightening, and disorienting. And yet there is a kind of structure behind the passages in the book, linkages and hidden struts which unify it until it seems to be a kind of novel of sorts. Putatively, it's not, it is a collection of prose poetry all dealing with various episodes of psychosis in a young woman's life in London, England. Arcs loop back and provide coherence for the reader where it may be lacking for the subject of the passages.
A powerful recurring theme is antagonism to the health care system which is supposed to treat people having acute mental health crises. Nurses, doctors, and social workers say appalling things and do not seem to care about their charges. Nobody trusts the narrator that what she sees and experiences is "real"; there is a preoccupation and an insistence on the narrator's part that she is "not a liar." This insistence on the stubborn truth of it all persists long after the psychotic episode appears to end, suggesting that the scars of such an episode, the epistemological warping that they cause, are something that stays for the rest of your life.
I've read the collection twice and I think that it would take several more readings to find all the interconnections that pop up in the book. I particularly liked the crossword puzzle dotted with a drop of blood on a seemingly significant intersection of words in "Lovely." The impression is that of a very powerful mind that has come unmoored from the decking, that the mind is a brilliant engine of imagined fears and obsessions. Portents of death and suicide, constant attractors, are sadly always just around the corner. One hopes that putting it all down in words (stream of consciousness, disjointed, and gnomic as they may be) provided some relief to the real life bearer of the psychoses. Certainly HLR is not alone in suffering from painful episodes of psychosis, and somebody might see their own uncomfortable, horrible experiences reflected back to them in the crucible of art, and feel comforted.
October 11, 2021
HISTORY OF PRESENT COMPLAINT is a book dat should be DETAINED under SECTION 135 of the MENTAL HEALTH ACT (in the UK). Thats how krazy/good it is. HLR storms the page on an emotional rollercoaster. Its shawt butt its punch will drag U in 2 yo feelings and make U realize there is a lotta shit rong in the werld with da systems we count on for both Mental/Physikal Health. And there are those coping best they kan wit this shit kalled LIFE. The voice HLR in this book is the voice of a very SANE woman who has been thru a lotta shit and lived to tell about it--even tho perhaps the society in which she lives wasnt encouraging it. HISTORY OF PRESENT COMPLAINT shood B handed out to anybody dats going thru sumpen because the world THINKS they are KRAZY. This book is COPING MECHANISM in werds/verse/poetry & stream-of-consciousness. READ IT.
March 18, 2021
This work of prose is unlike anything I’ve ever read. Raw, heartbreaking, intriguingly experimental. HLR takes the reader on an emotionally fraught journey, navigating both her own inner turmoil and a despicable mental health system while recounting a series of gut-wrenching psychotic breaks. Sometimes HLR will punctuate an emotional crescendo with the word BLACKOUT, and each time I felt it in the pit of my stomach. These blackouts might offer a temporary reprieve from the mania, but there is no escape from the danger and incompetence she faces from cops, doctors, and bureaucrats. If great writing is meant to make you feel something, then this easily qualifies and then some. A pulse-pounding confessional like no other.
March 29, 2021
A visceral and aggressively extreme series of writings. All the more powerful because they are non-fiction.
If you have cared about anyone who has suffered from mental illness and/or any type of substance abuse, your feelings of loss and helplessness and inability to cope will return in a rush with an intensity that is both horrifically uncomfortable yet enlightening.
The delusional processing of information, the lack of awareness of impact on others, is written with such brutal honesty and anguish, it is a voyeuristic glimpse into the soul of another human being.
Excellent and exhausting, the conflicting emotions HLR generates will leave any reader in awe of her plight and more so her talent.
If you have cared about anyone who has suffered from mental illness and/or any type of substance abuse, your feelings of loss and helplessness and inability to cope will return in a rush with an intensity that is both horrifically uncomfortable yet enlightening.
The delusional processing of information, the lack of awareness of impact on others, is written with such brutal honesty and anguish, it is a voyeuristic glimpse into the soul of another human being.
Excellent and exhausting, the conflicting emotions HLR generates will leave any reader in awe of her plight and more so her talent.
March 22, 2021
History of Present Complaint has been called a number of things: unflinching, unapologetic, brutal, and brave, among others. And it is indeed all of these things, but I’m going to add one: necessary. This book is absolutely necessary. A book that should be required reading, not only for those who suffer or have suffered, but for those who seek to better understand something they were fortunately spared when their cards were dealt.
This is a book that, although difficult to read at times (just imagine how difficult it must have been to write), is utterly essential. Never before has a chronicling of the challenges and trauma of mental illness been published. Not to my knowledge. Plenty have been written, sure, but none with such fearless audacity and style. With this collection, HLR has made an indelible, whip-smart, and heart-wrecking contribution to poetry and prose alike.
Living in the grey spaces between genres—which the author cleverly calls prosetry—History of Present Complaint is a brilliant example of form reflecting content and serving function. This book is like a dresser, its pages like drawers filled with shattered mirrors. The reflections we see are broken and blurred, but the picture is there, even if it’s been repeatedly fractured. The sheer variety of these reflections is undeniably unique, and the author’s impressive, masterly execution of the subject matter is a testament to the praise she’s already received, and will surely continue to receive.
I wish a book such as this didn’t need to exist, but it did, and now it does. And it’s nothing short of awe-inspiring. HLR has created something truly original here, something that is sure to last. There is no higher praise, I think, and I hope it gains all the recognition it deserves. Highly recommended!
This is a book that, although difficult to read at times (just imagine how difficult it must have been to write), is utterly essential. Never before has a chronicling of the challenges and trauma of mental illness been published. Not to my knowledge. Plenty have been written, sure, but none with such fearless audacity and style. With this collection, HLR has made an indelible, whip-smart, and heart-wrecking contribution to poetry and prose alike.
Living in the grey spaces between genres—which the author cleverly calls prosetry—History of Present Complaint is a brilliant example of form reflecting content and serving function. This book is like a dresser, its pages like drawers filled with shattered mirrors. The reflections we see are broken and blurred, but the picture is there, even if it’s been repeatedly fractured. The sheer variety of these reflections is undeniably unique, and the author’s impressive, masterly execution of the subject matter is a testament to the praise she’s already received, and will surely continue to receive.
I wish a book such as this didn’t need to exist, but it did, and now it does. And it’s nothing short of awe-inspiring. HLR has created something truly original here, something that is sure to last. There is no higher praise, I think, and I hope it gains all the recognition it deserves. Highly recommended!
March 18, 2021
Every so often a poet comes along that truly blows your head back with the way they lay down each beautiful word and line. HLR IS one of those poets.
No hyperbole here, I believe HLR is one of the best and most talented artists writing poetry today. This isn’t a chapbook, it’s an absolute work of art. There’s so much raw pain on the page but it’s so beautifully honest at the same time. I hope HLR keeps writing because I really feel she has the makings to transcend the indie scene into popular culture. She definitely deserves it!
Highly recommended
5/5
No hyperbole here, I believe HLR is one of the best and most talented artists writing poetry today. This isn’t a chapbook, it’s an absolute work of art. There’s so much raw pain on the page but it’s so beautifully honest at the same time. I hope HLR keeps writing because I really feel she has the makings to transcend the indie scene into popular culture. She definitely deserves it!
Highly recommended
5/5
April 20, 2021
HLR’s History of Present Complaint is a fearless and bold collection of prosetry that will no doubt stay with me forever. HLR’s voice, style, and interconnected narrative writing puts the reader in the forefront of each scenario. The way HLR composed each section feels like a movie in the making.
February 26, 2021
History of Present Complaint by HLR cleverly interweaves the terrifying past with the equally frightening present. HLR’s debut is brave and raw as she stoutly refuses to shy away from the palatable. This collection of poetry and prose transgresses boundaries and will evoke a deep-seated grief and ache within any reader.
HLR’s work focuses on dismantling the stigma surrounding psychosis in particular; her words are heartbreaking yet render an empowering and honest retelling of survival. There is pain embedded at every turn as her poetry and prose eviscerates viscerally and vividly. The power is to be found in how HLR’s courage and truth is an indictment of mental health care in the United Kingdom. The weaving of past and present complaints honestly reveals how exhausting and traumatising survival and illness become in amongst the red tape, disbelief, shame and sheer unprofessionalism rife within the public health sector.
The pieces within this collection combine brutal reality with stunning imagery to convey trauma, heartbreak and grief in a way which Plath’s The Bell Jar never achieved. HLR steers a sturdy course and never romanticizes mental illness. Her purposeful imagery and structural formatting is not gratuitous but explores the disassociation and obsession of a panicked mind, to reveal the frightening hold mental illness can have - as if being held hostage in your own body.
Often, I wish to quote from poetry collections to allow just a tiny taster of what is to come, but History of Present Complaint is a masterpiece to be read, savoured and experienced anew. This is not about spoilers but about preserving a collection in its startling and raw beauty. HLR is a marvel and I thank her for being here, for surviving, for continuing to draw breath and for courageously opening her wounds for us in this collection. HLR does not deny the difficulty of living but neither does she deny the astounding beauty of living, and I salute this.
HLR’s work focuses on dismantling the stigma surrounding psychosis in particular; her words are heartbreaking yet render an empowering and honest retelling of survival. There is pain embedded at every turn as her poetry and prose eviscerates viscerally and vividly. The power is to be found in how HLR’s courage and truth is an indictment of mental health care in the United Kingdom. The weaving of past and present complaints honestly reveals how exhausting and traumatising survival and illness become in amongst the red tape, disbelief, shame and sheer unprofessionalism rife within the public health sector.
The pieces within this collection combine brutal reality with stunning imagery to convey trauma, heartbreak and grief in a way which Plath’s The Bell Jar never achieved. HLR steers a sturdy course and never romanticizes mental illness. Her purposeful imagery and structural formatting is not gratuitous but explores the disassociation and obsession of a panicked mind, to reveal the frightening hold mental illness can have - as if being held hostage in your own body.
Often, I wish to quote from poetry collections to allow just a tiny taster of what is to come, but History of Present Complaint is a masterpiece to be read, savoured and experienced anew. This is not about spoilers but about preserving a collection in its startling and raw beauty. HLR is a marvel and I thank her for being here, for surviving, for continuing to draw breath and for courageously opening her wounds for us in this collection. HLR does not deny the difficulty of living but neither does she deny the astounding beauty of living, and I salute this.
April 20, 2021
Despite how short this piece is, it presents a deep and resounding gravitas that leaves you speechless.
Weirdly enough, I do know a little bit about this topic about mental health and the strain that there is on the services provided. I studied about it in a criminology class at university and it left a mark on how little was being done for such an important part of all our wellbeing. But HLR struck that cord differently. Instead, flipping roles where alternatively you are the one experiencing mental health in a broken system, rather than being the onlooker being told of the situation. You are in the driver's seat.
This is truly a powerful piece which not only looks at how we treat those with mental health but society around us. It is more important than ever to have some form of empathy and understanding as to what people are going through mentally. It is an incredible source to look over again and again, whether it be for yourself or for someone else.
The difference that this piece has is that it portrays a story within poetry itself. Anyone of any age or capability would not just be able to follow it but figure out their own feelings towards the system. It is universal.
I think that this is a piece that I will take with me everywhere I go. It's indeed a hard topic but it's an important one that makes it truly special.
Weirdly enough, I do know a little bit about this topic about mental health and the strain that there is on the services provided. I studied about it in a criminology class at university and it left a mark on how little was being done for such an important part of all our wellbeing. But HLR struck that cord differently. Instead, flipping roles where alternatively you are the one experiencing mental health in a broken system, rather than being the onlooker being told of the situation. You are in the driver's seat.
This is truly a powerful piece which not only looks at how we treat those with mental health but society around us. It is more important than ever to have some form of empathy and understanding as to what people are going through mentally. It is an incredible source to look over again and again, whether it be for yourself or for someone else.
The difference that this piece has is that it portrays a story within poetry itself. Anyone of any age or capability would not just be able to follow it but figure out their own feelings towards the system. It is universal.
I think that this is a piece that I will take with me everywhere I go. It's indeed a hard topic but it's an important one that makes it truly special.
March 9, 2021
HLR's collection is the latest chapbook in the Close to the Bone First Cut series and presents another wonderful entry, which varies in style and tone from the others.
HLR writes prose poems of her experiences with mental health and the treatment she has received in the UK. It's a collection of staggering truth split between her latest mental health episode, past episodes and life since the last one. She does a wonderful job of linking the poems between each other and midst the trauma there is a black humour that had me chuckling.
Within the poems is not just the story of a woman reeling with psychosis, but of a healthcare service that is overburdened and the burden falls squarely on the shoulders of the standard staff members. The consequence is a coarseness to the system. A lack of empathy that creeps in and spills out in inappropriate things said. It's something I've been a part of in my public sector job as you will get through with gallows humour.
There is an excellent poem about grief within and it is definitely a collection that should come with its own health warning.
HLR writes prose poems of her experiences with mental health and the treatment she has received in the UK. It's a collection of staggering truth split between her latest mental health episode, past episodes and life since the last one. She does a wonderful job of linking the poems between each other and midst the trauma there is a black humour that had me chuckling.
Within the poems is not just the story of a woman reeling with psychosis, but of a healthcare service that is overburdened and the burden falls squarely on the shoulders of the standard staff members. The consequence is a coarseness to the system. A lack of empathy that creeps in and spills out in inappropriate things said. It's something I've been a part of in my public sector job as you will get through with gallows humour.
There is an excellent poem about grief within and it is definitely a collection that should come with its own health warning.
March 14, 2021
HLR is a wonderful new voice. Her style is a highly original mix of poetry and prose and her tone, punchy, deeply sad yet witty make History of Present Complaint an addictive read and I flew through the pages, finishing it on the day I received it.
My heart broke a little bit further with each page turned, with each rendition of her fruitless desperate quest for help, with the constant darkening of her journey in which all turn against her, the good men in her life being replaced by odious ones, with each mention of her grief, her pain, her confusion, her mistreatment. Her honest portrayal of what it is to live with a mental illness in the UK is something everyone should read.
My heart broke a little bit further with each page turned, with each rendition of her fruitless desperate quest for help, with the constant darkening of her journey in which all turn against her, the good men in her life being replaced by odious ones, with each mention of her grief, her pain, her confusion, her mistreatment. Her honest portrayal of what it is to live with a mental illness in the UK is something everyone should read.
April 11, 2021
Soft as petals, broken as glass
Reading this feels like a memory that has been shattered like a mirror and then the struggle to find the shards and piece it back together through verse. These shards of mirror consist of memory, truth, denial, pain, distrust of self, distrust of others, psychosis, balance, relationships, validation, drugs.... the worlds spiral out and then spirals in again on an infinity loop of soft petals and broken glass. A beautiful read of vulnerability in an imperfect and violent world.
Reading this feels like a memory that has been shattered like a mirror and then the struggle to find the shards and piece it back together through verse. These shards of mirror consist of memory, truth, denial, pain, distrust of self, distrust of others, psychosis, balance, relationships, validation, drugs.... the worlds spiral out and then spirals in again on an infinity loop of soft petals and broken glass. A beautiful read of vulnerability in an imperfect and violent world.
December 23, 2021
Arguably the best book I've read in 2021. History of Present Complaint is a modern day masterpiece. The prosetry is outstanding and it's an incredibly sad but brave read. The honesty is gripping, it's a real insight to someone suffering from mental illness.
It's a powerful read about a subject that is difficult to talk about. But HLR does that with incredible courage and the writing is nothing short of outstanding. She really is an inspiration.
It's a powerful read about a subject that is difficult to talk about. But HLR does that with incredible courage and the writing is nothing short of outstanding. She really is an inspiration.
March 18, 2021
Amazing
This book was a revelation. The verse was tight and well crafted. I could feel the emotion crackling in every line. This is an impressive work and well worth your time and money.
This book was a revelation. The verse was tight and well crafted. I could feel the emotion crackling in every line. This is an impressive work and well worth your time and money.
April 24, 2021
Powerful account of mental illness and the failures of the system tasked with supporting those in crisis
October 23, 2021
I read this book on my Kindle. This is an unsolicited review.
After reading a writer like HLR... one finds it difficult to say anything at all. She's brilliant. She's dark, elusive, and somehow (for me, at least) relatable. I hate to use the quite overused term "old soul" but in fact that's how she seems to me. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was a poet from times long gone. One of the greats. As if we would discuss her in the past when in fact she's sitting right beside us.
The poetry seems like the writings of a madwoman but she's clearly anything but. Her depth of perception, to be able to see through to the truth of the matter, to see what others don't want to admit or to see... and then bravely write about and to write it so well... I am consistently blown away.
I loved this book. Everything, and I mean everything, about it. The formatting of the poems was perfect with the content. The content... while some may not find easy to read, I devoured, as I always do with her writing. On some levels, I totally "get" where she's coming from. I have the same thoughts. I've walked in a parallel path at times. Similar enough to understand her but different enough to remain intrigued. I read HLR's book and page after page, she's teaching me something, and it's something about myself. It's something about being human. It's something about remaining in the moment while not forgetting the past or forsaking the future. Her honesty and transparency and art are so very needed in this day inundated with influencers and artists vying for our attention but with very little substance behind it.
I give this one 5/5 stars and highly recommended to anyone who loves free form poetry, women authors, and especially those struggling with mental health. You are not alone, even when it feels like it.
After reading a writer like HLR... one finds it difficult to say anything at all. She's brilliant. She's dark, elusive, and somehow (for me, at least) relatable. I hate to use the quite overused term "old soul" but in fact that's how she seems to me. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was a poet from times long gone. One of the greats. As if we would discuss her in the past when in fact she's sitting right beside us.
The poetry seems like the writings of a madwoman but she's clearly anything but. Her depth of perception, to be able to see through to the truth of the matter, to see what others don't want to admit or to see... and then bravely write about and to write it so well... I am consistently blown away.
I loved this book. Everything, and I mean everything, about it. The formatting of the poems was perfect with the content. The content... while some may not find easy to read, I devoured, as I always do with her writing. On some levels, I totally "get" where she's coming from. I have the same thoughts. I've walked in a parallel path at times. Similar enough to understand her but different enough to remain intrigued. I read HLR's book and page after page, she's teaching me something, and it's something about myself. It's something about being human. It's something about remaining in the moment while not forgetting the past or forsaking the future. Her honesty and transparency and art are so very needed in this day inundated with influencers and artists vying for our attention but with very little substance behind it.
I give this one 5/5 stars and highly recommended to anyone who loves free form poetry, women authors, and especially those struggling with mental health. You are not alone, even when it feels like it.
August 24, 2022
‘History of Present Complaint’ by HLR is a chaotic, darkly humorous and unflinching account of a young woman dealing with both mental illness and a woefully inept support infrastructure which does more to hinder than help. It’s a must read for anyone with an interest in the subject matter or poetry in general. HLR’s writing, “prosetry” as she calls it, is unique and alive, at times it is truly shocking to read but at the same time it’s warm and engaging and makes the reader feel a true sense of connection to the protagonist. There are many standout poems but my personal faves were “Lasagne” a visceral account of self harm told in the most causal offhand way. And “Lovely” in which she crafts a beautifully poignant moment from nosebleeds and crosswords. I read this book in one sitting and can’t recommend it highly enough.
January 7, 2022
HLR's collection is one that will have you sitting on the edge of your seat and flipping through the pages to know what happens next! Distinctive style of prose/poetry framed with inventive organization and plot structure. This collection of anecdotes hits hard and doesn't stop. Truly a text everyone should read and something that allows you to walk in another's shoes. An important text for conversations around mental health, relationships, self harm and addiction. Pick up this book and I promise you it will be impossible to set down!
October 1, 2022
I do not know how to write book reviews, no patience for it, but I could read this book 5 times and probably will. If you have read someone’s stuff and think, Dang this is just someone complaining about their poor little life, well this little book of freeform poetry, concentrated around a psychotic episode, should make you reconsider your small perspective, which it did me. ‘Listen to me, bub. It’s important,’ HLR writes on page 56, and keeps on punching. The actual book from Close to the Bone is a beautiful edition, paperback at 74 pages and well presented.
December 24, 2021
A hybrid collection that sort of defies categorization, which is a relief. The work is visceral and raw, capturing as best it can the tumult of experience from within the perspective of someone battling a mental health crisis. I felt the anxiety between the words. I felt the panic pour through the text.
HLR creates a portrait of inner turmoil that feels authentic as a cigarette burn searing the inside of an armpit. If I were to compare this book to something, I'd compare it to The Bell Jar by Plath, which does a very similar thing in pure prose. Both are stories of someone compelled endlessly to hurt themselves. HLR tries to emulate exactly how fragmented the mind is in such a state.
Many pieces contain an agony that defy description. Some also contain brilliant lines of profundity and beauty.
If I were to have any complaints on the book, they'd be about the formatting. The text is too small. I found a few typos. But these are not the fault of the author.
I also really enjoyed the cheeky use of footnotes in the collection, ala DFW. Very clever.
I think this work borders on essential reading. It takes you through the dark tunnel of psychosis, and shows you a faint glimmer of hope at the end of that darkness, if you are strong and brave enough to keep pressing on.
HLR creates a portrait of inner turmoil that feels authentic as a cigarette burn searing the inside of an armpit. If I were to compare this book to something, I'd compare it to The Bell Jar by Plath, which does a very similar thing in pure prose. Both are stories of someone compelled endlessly to hurt themselves. HLR tries to emulate exactly how fragmented the mind is in such a state.
Many pieces contain an agony that defy description. Some also contain brilliant lines of profundity and beauty.
If I were to have any complaints on the book, they'd be about the formatting. The text is too small. I found a few typos. But these are not the fault of the author.
I also really enjoyed the cheeky use of footnotes in the collection, ala DFW. Very clever.
I think this work borders on essential reading. It takes you through the dark tunnel of psychosis, and shows you a faint glimmer of hope at the end of that darkness, if you are strong and brave enough to keep pressing on.
February 28, 2022
'The History of Present Complaint' by HLR through Close to the Bone publishing is utterly devastating and a total triumph. From the award winning 'Twenty-Four & Traumatized' to 'Dirty Dishes', I was there with them and as bewildered as they were as events unfolded. Amazing 👏👏👏
December 20, 2022
The greatest book of poetry I’ve ever read.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews