The Diary of a Secret Tory MP

by Henry Morris

(Almost!) True Stories from the Heart of British Politics

The long-awaited diary from Whitehall’s most scandalous MP…

From Brexit to Covid, parties to pig culling, the Conservative government has lurched from crisis to crisis. With a front-row seat on the, erm, backbenches, the Secret Tory MP has picked up on all the petty rivalries, bad decision-making and scandalous affairs that Whitehall has to offer. And he’s got no qualms about sharing it. All.

Join the mystery MP as he drunk-texts Liz Truss after a crate of WKD, accompanies Jacob Rees-Mogg (and his kids) to picket a foodbank, takes on the French in the ‘Trawler Wars’, and euthanises Rishi Sunak’s dog – and that’s just October.

The Diary of a Secret Tory MP is an outrageous spoof of the classic political journal that pulls back the Lulu Lytle curtains to expose extraordinary goings-on at Westminster across a tumultuous twelve months.

Genres: Politics, Fiction, Audiobook, Satire, Humor

314 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 29, 2022

Reviews

[Keely · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 I didn't realise this was originally satire when I pre ordered it. I thought it would be the same vein as the secret barrister so I was confused/intrigued on how you could write about being an MP and keep it anonymous without making it obvious who the people were.

But yeah, it was alright. Fun. In the same way trash tv is fun to watch. It's a book that allows you to mostly turn off your brain. Occasionally funny, always over the top.

[Bethan Collins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite a funny book, you need to go into it understanding it’s nothing but a comedy so therefore it’s quite light hearted and silly.

I had thought this was more of a blend, but when rating it as a comedy - it was quite funny. Can’t say I’d recommend it to anyone necessarily.

[Alfie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very funny yet bizzare book, though I would not be surprised if some of this was actually true !!

[Martin Mostek · Rating 2 out of 5]

Slightly amusing. More parody than satire. Yes, diaries of political persons may be self-serving and even mired in self-interest. Yet in this case various stupidites, insensitivnes and callousnes of Secret Tory gets rather repetitive verging of tedious rather soon. Some of gags are good and story line, as much as any story line emerges is tolerable. In its genre there are more entertaing books, but it is not the worst there is.

[Nicholas Allen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dreadful book. The idea is good and the first few pages are promising but it quickly turns in to a repetitive, lazy piece of work by the author with an issue. Do not waste your money on this - you would be better off gambling or just burning your money. If my review can influence just one person to not buy this book, then I will consider myself as carrying out God’s work. Author should be banned from ever writing again.

[Brody Magarry · Rating 3 out of 5]

Satire, in this day and age, is probably the most important genre of fiction. If we can’t connect to the masses via literal current affairs, what better a way to reach them by highlighting said affairs with mocking comedy?

The Diary of a Secret Tory is by no means an intellectual book - it is unapologetically critical of Conservative stereotypes, all the while maintaining its humorous bent. The ostentatious style of epistolary prose adopted perfectly characterises our narrator as an archetypal Tory MP: disconnected from the public, concentrated on benefiting themself and lacking the compassion for his fellow human. From shady dealings with Russians to attempts of casual flings with fellow party members, our Secret Tory epitomises the negligent behaviours of those in the higher echelons of power. The caricatures of actual politicians play into their flaws with an unceremonious air, and this hamming up brings with great hilarity.

It is good to chuckle at life - in fact, it is essential to. To be in the public eye requires the acceptance of possible mockery - any slip-up will be jumped onto and scrutinised to death. As much as I understand the viciousness of the media hounding our politicians being reprehensible, I can’t deny the enjoyment I get out of ripping those who think they can exploit us without punishment. I’ll be waiting for the sequel - ‘The Secret Diary of a Labour MP’.

[Andrew Macfarlane · Rating 1 out of 5]

The trouble with this sort of satire is that it just too close to reality and more importantly there is nothing we can do about it. This is nothing different from Alan B'stard days and is probably where the author got their not so creative idea for the tweets and subsequently this book.It would be a lie to say it doesnt have any humour in it, but it isnt that original, isnt that well written and isnt worth the time to read unless you live in an echo chamber of sneering at what you want to believe. Unfortunately too many of us on the left, do. Liatening this week to the House of Commons privileges Committee questioning Boris Johnson contradicting himself and faking up lame excuses for his criminal acts, then reading this book ibegan to long for a different approach of just of just ignoring them. Everytime they speak, ignore them. When they try to turn a committee hearing into a press co ference get up and walk out. Besides the party i am a member of has got Richard Burgon and Lloyd Russell-Moylesas mps. However brain dead the tory mps and their supporters may be they dont have a monopoly of thick idiots, just self serving rapaciousness

[Stephen Casey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even if I want to continue the parody, this deserves a real review...

It's mostly an extension of a Twitter based parody caricature of late-stage Tories as they hopefully spiral into irrelevance. The author, playing an un-named South East England Tory MP in a safe seat (Hunt? You make your own judgement, it didn't get as far as his most recent rise, bobbing back to the surface), is an entertaining, Twitter based, daily ridicule of the corruption, detachment and elitism of British politics.

So, I bought the book because he's funny and I wanted to support a creator.

But, to be honest, he's clearly an accomplished writer too. Fluidly written, substantial and including plenty of clever insight into just what's wrong with these people, I laughed, I cried...

Highly recommended, and also definitely a Twitter account worth following.

[James R. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quite amusing, diary-style parody of a Tory MP in 2021 and 2022. The difficult thing is that the Tory party was such a shambles during this period that they were almost beyond parody and to push the kind of things real-life politicians have been proven to have done makes it too fanciful to be funny. Which isn't the author's fault, it's just hard to satirise the current crop of politicians when they are already such caricatures that they are seemingly impervious to satire. That aside, The Secret Tory is a fictional MP that comes across as a "Alan Partridge if he was an MP" kind of character that probably works better as a novelty Twitter account than stretched to a full size book but the slightly thin premise just about work well enough and the writer is funny enough to make the flimsy plot hold the readers attention. Just.

[Clarissa Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I went to Daunt Books at Marylebone in June 2023 to ask for this book, it was the last copy, meaning that it is selling very well. I was curious why is it selling so well, since I always barely made past 1/3 of any Diary. This diary is indeed different, it is hardly boring, it is hardly the same topic. It seems like written in a ADHD style, you need to be v fast to switch to the next scene or topic. The whole book is satirical and possibly the most satirical book which I ever read. In conclusion, this book is suitable if you are familiar with UK politics and news context, if you accept cynical views, if you dislike the boring diaries, if your brain won't collapse with the ever changing topics and scenes.

[Phillip · Rating 3 out of 5]

This satirical walk through Westminster and the Conservative parliamentary party is definitely for the "political junkie" who will enjoy all the "inside baseball" references. This covers October 2021 thru September 2022; it gets quite over the top in places, and I think I was more proud of myself for recognising names more than laughing. But, that said, it's amusing. So if you watch PMQs, listen to political podcasts, and other die-hard UK Parliament stuff, this is something that will keep you entertained for a bit.

[Chris Banks · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a comedy, not a behind the scenes expose of the machinations of the Parliamentary Tory Party. The style is Rik Mayall’s Alan B’Stard meets Radio 4’s Ed Riordan. It caricatures very prominent Tories into all the worst things you ever thought of them. For that reason it’s not to be taken seriously but I found it hilarious and somewhat cathartic given my exasperation at the Government. I read this hot on the heels of Russ Jones’s Decade in Tory, which also exposes the absurdity of this Government of the last 13 years, unfortunately not as a fantasy, but as well evidenced truth.

[Harry Perriton · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’ve been keeping up with recent politics from the past 2-ish years and aren’t a fan of the current batch of tories, this book is really funny. It’s satirical and not a non-fiction book as I’ve seen other people comment their disappointment at this revelation - if that’s not for you, don’t read the book! However, if that’s something you enjoy, I think this is a great offering that’s worth a read.

[Kieran McAndrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was a year when MPs were proud to be Tories. So proud, in fact, that they celebrated by having three separate leaders. From mounting Operation "Big Dog" to mounting a tractor, this was the government for our times. A government that took back the money.

An admirable satire of 2021-2022, a year like no other, where the outrageous lengths the Secret Tory goes to to make ends meet seem almost pedestrian in comparison.

[Kai Valentine · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very funny satire from The Secret Tory, a spoof Twitter account, who may keep their identity hidden, but definitely has fantastic comedy chops. I listened to the audiobook, which is brilliantly read by Charles Armstrong who encompasses the character perfectly. I really hope there is a follow up to this book for 2023, as it didn’t tire and was a fun, easy listen.

[Ian Bell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This appears to be a promising resource for those fascinated by the world's wonders. Its success likely hinges on the author's ability to present information in an engaging way and organize the vast array of facts cohesively. If the book achieves this, it has the potential to be an entertaining and educational read for a diverse audience.

[John Spencer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quite a funny account of the Tory party from October 21 to September 22, the chaos surrounding Boris Johnson’s premiership and the attitudes of the Tory Party. Sadly doesn’t get as far as the Truss premiership. Actually probably better that it didn’t, that was beyond satire.

[Anuradha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spot-on satire

Who is this author? They know so much about UK politics. Races along, a laugh on every page, while capturing the callousness, expediency and self-absorption of so many current Tory politicians. Highly recommended.

[Adam M · Rating 5 out of 5]

How erudite satire, slapstick comedy and cold hard facts can be interchanged so frequently whilst maintaining a decent narrative is a testament to both the Secret Tory’s penmanship and the the state of British Politics.

Bravo.

[Ruth Tremlett · Rating 3 out of 5]

This started off making me laugh but got very samey and progressively more ridiculous as the book went on. I read it relatively quickly which probably didn’t help. I would recommend reading it in bits and pieces rather than all in one go.

[Keith Astbury · Rating 3 out of 5]

Starts off promisingly but veers off unnecessarily into daftness. There is enough material just writing about this ridiculous and, at times, evil government and this is where this book is at its best. The bootcamps and secret meetings with Russians are overlong and to be honest, a bit dull x

[Theediscerning · Rating 1 out of 5]

Seeing as the blurb would be exactly the same as if I'd written it, I can only surmise the blurb writer and me both only bothered with the first month, finding a complete lack of interest or humour. Limp.

[Fruzsi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not sure who is this for there were a couple of funny short tweets.

[Fred · Rating 4 out of 5]

Actually quite funny.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

An enjoyable parody recounting some of the events of the last year or so. Some chuckle inducing parts in the book, which aren't necessarily so funny in real life at the moment. Worth a go.

[Reading · Rating 2 out of 5]

This might have been hilarious if it hadn't been so depressingly accurate about the staggering incompetence and corruption of the current leadership in the UK

[Simon Burdus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really funny book. Just my sense of humour. Very cleverly written with just the right level of fantasy whilst staying true to the timeline.

[Lottie Gilman · Rating 1 out of 5]

Weird book set as diary entries - not easy to read and boring after a while

[Rachel Constable · Rating 4 out of 5]

The really terrible thing is that every word of it is believable, even though it's a parody.

[Chris Lee-Francis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Morris does an impressive job in parodying a political party already far beyond a parody of what it claims and believes itself to be.