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Radical Gratitude and other life lessons learned in Siberia
An illuminating melding of narrative and inspiring practical guidance, this is both the extraordinary true story of one family's survival in Stalinist Siberia and a guide to becoming a person who can give to others. Each chapter details powerful ways to achieve this with such concepts as radical gratitude (learning to be grateful even for the difficult experiences in life), who we can and cannot help, genuine being with others in need, and the remarkable changes that we can experience when we do.
254 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2008
About the author
Andrew Bienkowski
7 books8 followersIn 1940, at the age of six, Andrew Bienkowski and his family were banished to Siberia from their Polish homeland. The following years were harrowing, but had magical moments, and the life lessons learned in Siberia have influenced his entire life. The family were evacuated to Iran, then moved via Palestine to England and to the US, where Andrew joined the air force, before training as a psychologist. He has spent more than 40 years as a clinical therapist. Retired in upstate New York, he still has a small clinical practice and teaches courses.
He is co-author of RADICAL GRATITUDE: Life-Changing Lessons From Siberia with Mary Akers.
He is co-author of RADICAL GRATITUDE: Life-Changing Lessons From Siberia with Mary Akers.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
May 20, 2008
Bienkowski and Aker have written a memoir/self-help hybrid with such stunning clarity and beautiful detail that it could stand alone as a literary achievement. This book will remain on my coffee table for many years to come because it has provided me with comfort and it is a brilliant example of what narrative nonfiction can do. Beinkowski's poignant, terrifying, and surprisingly inspiring memoir narrative is braided throughout, along with advice he has gleaned from his experience working with patients for many years as a caring clinical therapist. Ultimately, this book offers an alternate way of living through communication with others, a systematic way of reconnecting. It cannot be accurately described here. All I can say is that it will change you.
September 24, 2008
An amazing book that everyone should read.
It made the way I want to interact with people so much clearer.
If everyone did what this book suggests the world would be a better place
It made the way I want to interact with people so much clearer.
If everyone did what this book suggests the world would be a better place
March 31, 2008
Radical Gratitude
And Other Life Lessons Learned in Siberia
by Andrew Bienkowski and Mary Akers
Part inspirational self-help book and part memoir, Radical Gratitude is an involving, quick read. Mr. Bienkowski, a therapist for more than 40 years, recounts the time his family spent exiled in Siberia during WWII, and how the life lessons he learned as a small child still influence him to this day. The goal of this book is to pass those lessons along to the readers. Lessons of gratitude, hope, perseverance, faith and love.
The inspirational part of Radical Gratitude is written in first person, and allows Mr. Bienkowski to break down each "lesson" (as he calls the chapters), and draw from his past to show his inspiration for different treatment philosophies. This is all good stuff, and he gives practical, useful advice in not only helping others, but also in helping ourselves. Helping ourselves live a better, stress-less life, keep a positive outlook, and have hope for a better future, as well as how to appreciate the present, and be grateful for things most people take for granted on a daily basis. Things like simple kindnesses, food, and shelter. And you know, as the reader, that he speaks from experience, that when he was a child in Siberia he didn't know where the next meal would come from.
His concept of "radical gratitude" is the "idea that we can learn to feel grateful, even for the terrible things that happen to us in our lives." In fact, they will make you a stronger person. His horrifying experiences as a child have given him a better understanding of life, for which he is grateful.
I found the memoir part of the book, which alternated between third and first person narration, truly fascinating. Bienkowski's family, which consisted of his grandmother and grandfather, mother, younger brother, and himself were forced from their home and relocated to Siberia by Stalin after communist Russia invaded Poland (his father was in the Polish army fighting on another front). Stripped of their belongings and money, they were forced to live in a hut with virtually nothing. To make it through the first long, hard winter, Bienkowski's grandfather starved himself to death so the rest of the family could survive on the meager supply of food that was left. I detect co-author Mary Aker's skillful hand here, in bringing to life the story of this close-knit, loving family surviving against all odds in an unforgiving environment (both physical and political). I found myself right there with the family, feeling what they felt, seeing what they saw, and hearing what they heard:
The long winters had taught Andrew that the presence of wolves was a cause for fear. And yet something had been shifting in his mind when he thought of wolves. Summer, the villagers taught him, was not a time to fear wolves. In the summertime, wolves are well fed and happy. They are raising families far from the village and humans do not interest wolves.
So instead, Andy listened to the wolves as if they were singing a song. Each wolf had his part and each took up before the other left off, so that a continuous chorus of wolf voices surrounded him out there on the plain. As far as he knew, everyone else in camp was asleep, and the wolves sang for him alone.
The grandmother and mother were courageous and tenacious women, choosing not only to live and protect the two young children, but to not compromise their principles along the way. The grandfather, of course, made the ultimate sacrifice for his family. The thing I loved most about this part of Radical Gratitude was that I didn't know the outcome. Obviously Andrew survived to tell the tale, but who else lived and whether or not the family made it out of Siberia to reunite with Andrew's father was a mystery. This was very cinematic to me, and the clear, straightforward storytelling kept me turning the pages.
The Bienkowski family's story is truly inspiring. For this I am grateful that Mr. Bienkowski and Mary Akers decided to share it with the world.
And Other Life Lessons Learned in Siberia
by Andrew Bienkowski and Mary Akers
Part inspirational self-help book and part memoir, Radical Gratitude is an involving, quick read. Mr. Bienkowski, a therapist for more than 40 years, recounts the time his family spent exiled in Siberia during WWII, and how the life lessons he learned as a small child still influence him to this day. The goal of this book is to pass those lessons along to the readers. Lessons of gratitude, hope, perseverance, faith and love.
The inspirational part of Radical Gratitude is written in first person, and allows Mr. Bienkowski to break down each "lesson" (as he calls the chapters), and draw from his past to show his inspiration for different treatment philosophies. This is all good stuff, and he gives practical, useful advice in not only helping others, but also in helping ourselves. Helping ourselves live a better, stress-less life, keep a positive outlook, and have hope for a better future, as well as how to appreciate the present, and be grateful for things most people take for granted on a daily basis. Things like simple kindnesses, food, and shelter. And you know, as the reader, that he speaks from experience, that when he was a child in Siberia he didn't know where the next meal would come from.
His concept of "radical gratitude" is the "idea that we can learn to feel grateful, even for the terrible things that happen to us in our lives." In fact, they will make you a stronger person. His horrifying experiences as a child have given him a better understanding of life, for which he is grateful.
I found the memoir part of the book, which alternated between third and first person narration, truly fascinating. Bienkowski's family, which consisted of his grandmother and grandfather, mother, younger brother, and himself were forced from their home and relocated to Siberia by Stalin after communist Russia invaded Poland (his father was in the Polish army fighting on another front). Stripped of their belongings and money, they were forced to live in a hut with virtually nothing. To make it through the first long, hard winter, Bienkowski's grandfather starved himself to death so the rest of the family could survive on the meager supply of food that was left. I detect co-author Mary Aker's skillful hand here, in bringing to life the story of this close-knit, loving family surviving against all odds in an unforgiving environment (both physical and political). I found myself right there with the family, feeling what they felt, seeing what they saw, and hearing what they heard:
The long winters had taught Andrew that the presence of wolves was a cause for fear. And yet something had been shifting in his mind when he thought of wolves. Summer, the villagers taught him, was not a time to fear wolves. In the summertime, wolves are well fed and happy. They are raising families far from the village and humans do not interest wolves.
So instead, Andy listened to the wolves as if they were singing a song. Each wolf had his part and each took up before the other left off, so that a continuous chorus of wolf voices surrounded him out there on the plain. As far as he knew, everyone else in camp was asleep, and the wolves sang for him alone.
The grandmother and mother were courageous and tenacious women, choosing not only to live and protect the two young children, but to not compromise their principles along the way. The grandfather, of course, made the ultimate sacrifice for his family. The thing I loved most about this part of Radical Gratitude was that I didn't know the outcome. Obviously Andrew survived to tell the tale, but who else lived and whether or not the family made it out of Siberia to reunite with Andrew's father was a mystery. This was very cinematic to me, and the clear, straightforward storytelling kept me turning the pages.
The Bienkowski family's story is truly inspiring. For this I am grateful that Mr. Bienkowski and Mary Akers decided to share it with the world.
July 8, 2008
Most books that give advice on how to live talk down to the reader. This one treats her as an intelligent collaborator. The form of Radical Gratitude is also unusual: it is half literary nonfiction, half lessons from a man who has spent a lifetime counseling patients on how to approach their emotional problems. Andrew Bienkowski is the therapist; Mary Akers is the writer who creates the evocative accounts of Beinkowski's family's horrific experiences in Siberia, where it was exiled for imaginary crimes during Stalin's regime. There are even photographs that bring home the hard-to-believe reality of Beinkowski's past.
January 1, 2025
An amazing story of a Polish family exiled to Stalin’s Siberia, surviving and eventually landing Upstate New York, where Andrew becomes a psychotherapist. Also published under the title “One Life to Give.” Jennifer at the Bookworm tells me that it is available now through her Ingram sources. You can order through her. Email jen@eabookworm.com
Want to Read
April 18, 2008After reading the interview with Mary Akers at Eclectica, I'm very eager to read this one.
January 10, 2018
Really inspirational. I learned a lot of good lessons from this book. This memoir of a Andrew Bienkowski's childhood experience in a Siberian concentration camp during World War II was written with an editor, Mary Akers. I think Akers was effective at both giving the story shape and bringing out the author's true voice.
May 8, 2009
'Radical Gratitude and other life lessons learned in Siberia' is a true story of the extreme hardship and sacrifice experienced by a courageous family in Siberia. The reader can never forget the grandfather's final decisions and how his wishes were honored. Nor can one forget the cleverness and strength of the grandmother or the mother's steadfast belief that the family would one day be reunited.
Vivid scenes detailing the hard times in Siberia are balanced by chapters relating the lessons learned, applied, and passed on to benefit psychotherapy patients in America, and through Mary Akers's book, to the rest of us.
One of my friends read 'Radical Gratitude' and found the emphasis on gratitude personally helpful to her in her situation, even though she thought 'there were too many quotes' (from famous people). Still, she told me that she feels grateful to have read the book.
I gave this book a 5-star rating.
Vivid scenes detailing the hard times in Siberia are balanced by chapters relating the lessons learned, applied, and passed on to benefit psychotherapy patients in America, and through Mary Akers's book, to the rest of us.
One of my friends read 'Radical Gratitude' and found the emphasis on gratitude personally helpful to her in her situation, even though she thought 'there were too many quotes' (from famous people). Still, she told me that she feels grateful to have read the book.
I gave this book a 5-star rating.
October 18, 2022
Loved this book! The only thing I would change is that I would love to hear more about his career as a psychotherapist and some of the things he learned from his patients as well as from the loss of his family.
January 22, 2018
I really like how Bienkowski melds his terrifying experiences in Siberia with life lessons that can be embraced by all. I read this book because a library customer assured me it was the best book she had ever read. I can certainly see why people would feel that way.
March 29, 2022
Ta książka jest po prostu kondensacją dobra i wdziecznego podejścia do życia. Pierwsze sceptyczne podejście zastąpiła ciekawość historii i podziw do autora i jego rodziny. Napisana prostym, ładnym językiem. Warta przeczytania.
July 15, 2022
I had so much to take away from this book and I admire the story telling and format🤌🏻 the ending was warm, the whole book felt warm even though the premise was inherently sad and heart breaking Andrew’s writing showed me that there is light to every day
June 14, 2019
Meaningful read on love, gratitude, courage, and overcoming adversity. Reminds us all to smile and treat everyone with love - and seek to understand.
March 19, 2020
Cover Design
The cover design in terms of just the cover and not having read any, seems to illustrate what looks to be the landscape of Siberia in the winter
Plot/Storyline
Set in the 1940’s in a time when Stalin had control, being polish was a crime. “…By contrast. his current job was simple. His job was to die”
Young Andrew Bienkowski, at age 5, is banished along with his family to Siberia, where they will live as slaves.
Now a retired and once accomplished Psychologist Andrew, relives the horrors of Siberia, in order to show personal experience and to reinforce the Lessons essential to helping ourselves and others in times of need. These lessons can also be employed to enhance our happiness, relationships and our general well being.
We have all at some point in our lives experience some form of Depression, Loneliness, Anxiety, Hopelessness and so on. These experiences can negatively affect and impact upon our lives, relationships and choices. These things can haunt our thoughts fair easier than positive thoughts. We seem to constantly recall those negative thoughts before the good ones. From my own personal experience i know that this can be a major problem!
However thankfully we have therapists, and appropriately stated “most people already have the solution to their problems within themselves, but dont know how to access it, and that is the role of the therapist”
After reading this book given to me by my Therapist, a number of things were put into perspective and a number of things became reality, i found some hard truths, that i am to fix in order to make myself a better person.
Writing Style/Language
Very simple but combine with the stark imagery created a very confronting novel at times but successfully conveyed the messages on a more deeper personal level.
My Thoughts/Opinions
This was my first “self-help” book, which i actually found particularly useful, and through learning some of the lessons mentioned within, i have been able to identify specific areas in need to change, work on and improve, in order to become a better person, make new friends and keep them without creating toxic relationships.
The cover design in terms of just the cover and not having read any, seems to illustrate what looks to be the landscape of Siberia in the winter
Plot/Storyline
Set in the 1940’s in a time when Stalin had control, being polish was a crime. “…By contrast. his current job was simple. His job was to die”
Young Andrew Bienkowski, at age 5, is banished along with his family to Siberia, where they will live as slaves.
Now a retired and once accomplished Psychologist Andrew, relives the horrors of Siberia, in order to show personal experience and to reinforce the Lessons essential to helping ourselves and others in times of need. These lessons can also be employed to enhance our happiness, relationships and our general well being.
We have all at some point in our lives experience some form of Depression, Loneliness, Anxiety, Hopelessness and so on. These experiences can negatively affect and impact upon our lives, relationships and choices. These things can haunt our thoughts fair easier than positive thoughts. We seem to constantly recall those negative thoughts before the good ones. From my own personal experience i know that this can be a major problem!
However thankfully we have therapists, and appropriately stated “most people already have the solution to their problems within themselves, but dont know how to access it, and that is the role of the therapist”
After reading this book given to me by my Therapist, a number of things were put into perspective and a number of things became reality, i found some hard truths, that i am to fix in order to make myself a better person.
Writing Style/Language
Very simple but combine with the stark imagery created a very confronting novel at times but successfully conveyed the messages on a more deeper personal level.
My Thoughts/Opinions
This was my first “self-help” book, which i actually found particularly useful, and through learning some of the lessons mentioned within, i have been able to identify specific areas in need to change, work on and improve, in order to become a better person, make new friends and keep them without creating toxic relationships.
February 18, 2013
A wonderful journey, of both body and soul, beautifully written. It enchants you from the opening words. Pure white magic, I believe this is a book that everyone needs to read in order to understand the nature of true gratitude and to value the real joys of life. A book that makes life so much bigger, pain so much smaller and applauds the human spirit.
August 4, 2013
I'll keep this next to the bed and dip into it. It is and easy read with chapters set out as lessons - these draw upon the authors experiences during his families internment in Siberia together with some clients experiences. Each lesson is sprinkled with quotes from a broad range of folk eg - Dalai Lama, Helen Frank, Mother Teresa, Ella Fitzgerald ....
July 7, 2012
i was drawn to this book because i'm randomly fascinated with what it's like to live in Siberia (much like i'm fascinated with summitting Mt. Everest - both of which i have no interest in actually doing). i thought this was an ingenious way to explore the concept of gratitude and self-reflection.
February 20, 2014
This book is a hybrid of an autobiography and a self-help book, and works very well.
June 17, 2014
Fabulous, inspirational, sometimes tragic book.
January 2, 2016
I absolutely loved this book. I really enjoyed how there were lessons intertwined with Bienkowski's real life experience in Siberia.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews