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Growing Deeper
The Wisdom of Each Other
An illuminating example of friendship as a vital way God answers our need for guidance, encouragement, affirmation, and correction.
Most of the time, what we need to help us through the struggles in our lives is not the advice of an expert but the wisdom of a friend. Through this series of eloquent letters written to a life-long friend, author Eugene Peterson demonstrates friendship as a means to Christian maturity.
The topics covered in this warm and highly personal correspondence are broad and varied, but one thing comes through with constancy and clarity: there is great value in a wise, experienced friend to help us see more clearly and to strengthen our growth in faith and godliness.
Most of the time, what we need to help us through the struggles in our lives is not the advice of an expert but the wisdom of a friend. Through this series of eloquent letters written to a life-long friend, author Eugene Peterson demonstrates friendship as a means to Christian maturity.
The topics covered in this warm and highly personal correspondence are broad and varied, but one thing comes through with constancy and clarity: there is great value in a wise, experienced friend to help us see more clearly and to strengthen our growth in faith and godliness.
112 pages, Paperback
First published December 23, 1997
About the author
Eugene H. Peterson
582 books1,053 followersEugene H. Peterson was a pastor, scholar, author, and poet. For many years he was James M. Houston Professor of Spiritual Theology at Regent College in Vancouver, British Columbia. He also served as founding pastor of Christ Our King Presbyterian Church in Bel Air, Maryland. He had written over thirty books, including Gold Medallion Book Award winner The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language a contemporary translation of the Bible. After retiring from full-time teaching, Eugene and his wife Jan lived in the Big Sky Country of rural Montana. He died in October 2018.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews
March 18, 2024
This book is a gem. I listened to the audiobook, which works well with the structure of the book as a series of letters from Eugene to a fictional friend, Gunnar. Based on many of Eugene‘s actual pastoral letters, it is a book rich with wisdom, reflection, humour, encouragement and insight.
Gunnar is an old friend of the author whose Christian experience ended after he and Eugene parted company following their college graduation. Returning to the Lord, Gunnar writes to Eugene after losing contact for 40 years later. The book contains Eugene’s series of letters responding to Gunnar’s journey, his spiritual experience, his church involvement and reflects on their correspondence and shared relationship.
As you might expect, Peterson crafts a warm, disarming, insightful collection of thoughts about Christian relationships, ministry, church, work, prayer, theology and community. I got the sense this is just what Eugene might have written to “real” people contending with the matters raised by Gunnar. It never feels forced, has a pinch of the playful yet maintains the gravity of the life of shared discipleship.
The letter about “full time ministry” - gold! Likewise the one on prayer. Reflections on religious machinery are so good - he writes as a career pastor, yet views programs and systems with suspicion.
As I read, I found myself drawn back to the important and the profound - yet not wanting to torch my local church. Seeing our weakness, frustrations, others’ expectations and shortcomings through the lens of following Jesus, finding grace, sharing the journey… I’m really not doing a great job explaining this book..!
(Peterson can be like that, I think! The Message gets dismissed among conservative evangelicals like me as a lightweight liberty-taking paraphrase of scripture, yet I almost always find it brings fresh insight and brings something of the spirit, the feel, even the smell of the word to light.)
The Wisdom of Each Other is only a short book. Go read it - or listen on Spotify! Eugene’s letters will give you much to linger on and ponder and enjoy. So refreshing. Loved it.
Gunnar is an old friend of the author whose Christian experience ended after he and Eugene parted company following their college graduation. Returning to the Lord, Gunnar writes to Eugene after losing contact for 40 years later. The book contains Eugene’s series of letters responding to Gunnar’s journey, his spiritual experience, his church involvement and reflects on their correspondence and shared relationship.
As you might expect, Peterson crafts a warm, disarming, insightful collection of thoughts about Christian relationships, ministry, church, work, prayer, theology and community. I got the sense this is just what Eugene might have written to “real” people contending with the matters raised by Gunnar. It never feels forced, has a pinch of the playful yet maintains the gravity of the life of shared discipleship.
The letter about “full time ministry” - gold! Likewise the one on prayer. Reflections on religious machinery are so good - he writes as a career pastor, yet views programs and systems with suspicion.
As I read, I found myself drawn back to the important and the profound - yet not wanting to torch my local church. Seeing our weakness, frustrations, others’ expectations and shortcomings through the lens of following Jesus, finding grace, sharing the journey… I’m really not doing a great job explaining this book..!
(Peterson can be like that, I think! The Message gets dismissed among conservative evangelicals like me as a lightweight liberty-taking paraphrase of scripture, yet I almost always find it brings fresh insight and brings something of the spirit, the feel, even the smell of the word to light.)
The Wisdom of Each Other is only a short book. Go read it - or listen on Spotify! Eugene’s letters will give you much to linger on and ponder and enjoy. So refreshing. Loved it.
February 15, 2025
4.5. But I liked it enough to round up to 5 stars for Goodreads.
Great, short little book that you could easily breeze through. The person who recommended this book to me said:
“It will give you a wonderful picture of discipleship, growth, and formation. My suggestion is to read it very slowly and chew on it rather than gulping it down at once.”
Peterson presents wide-ranging advice on the Christian life. In short, 1-3 page “letters to Gunnar,” a composite Peterson created out of encounters with men and women over the years, Peterson seeks to showcase, teach, and motivate “lived life.” “For spirituality has to do with life, lived life.” (10)
Some “letters” are better than others, but taken as a whole, it’s a refreshing read.
“Every call to worship is a call into the Real World.
You'd think by this time in my life I wouldn't need to be called any more. But I do. I encounter such constant and widespread lying about reality each day and meet with such skilled and systematic distortion of the truth that I'm always in danger of losing my grip on reality. The reality, of course, is that God is sovereign and Christ is savior. The reality is that prayer is my mother tongue and the Eucharist my basic food. The reality is that baptism, not Myers-Briggs, defines who I am. The reality is, as Leon Bloy so poignantly put it, that "the only sadness is not to be a saint." (110)
Great, short little book that you could easily breeze through. The person who recommended this book to me said:
“It will give you a wonderful picture of discipleship, growth, and formation. My suggestion is to read it very slowly and chew on it rather than gulping it down at once.”
Peterson presents wide-ranging advice on the Christian life. In short, 1-3 page “letters to Gunnar,” a composite Peterson created out of encounters with men and women over the years, Peterson seeks to showcase, teach, and motivate “lived life.” “For spirituality has to do with life, lived life.” (10)
Some “letters” are better than others, but taken as a whole, it’s a refreshing read.
“Every call to worship is a call into the Real World.
You'd think by this time in my life I wouldn't need to be called any more. But I do. I encounter such constant and widespread lying about reality each day and meet with such skilled and systematic distortion of the truth that I'm always in danger of losing my grip on reality. The reality, of course, is that God is sovereign and Christ is savior. The reality is that prayer is my mother tongue and the Eucharist my basic food. The reality is that baptism, not Myers-Briggs, defines who I am. The reality is, as Leon Bloy so poignantly put it, that "the only sadness is not to be a saint." (110)
March 5, 2025
Peterson writes from the position which he attempted to hold for so many years and the position that I also seek to hold, that of a pastor. That someone willing to walk alongside and to share in the struggles and realities of life while embracing God as constantly present and constantly able. It is a trickier, narrower path than I had ever presumed it would be. I am thankful for this encouragement.
August 7, 2025
One of the finest books I’ve ever read; there is wisdom upon wisdom tucked into every page of these letters. It provides constant reminder of where the Gospel lives and works, where our eyes are to fall, how our lives are shaped around Jesus, and how sometimes, the purest bits of God shine through the quite ordinary meagerness of normal people.
“Let me tell you something. We are a community of saints and martyrs — and the martyrs are the ones who have to live with the saints!”
“Let me tell you something. We are a community of saints and martyrs — and the martyrs are the ones who have to live with the saints!”
September 22, 2024
To use Eugene’s words there is nothing novel in this book nor is it a book about spirituality, rather these short letters “are simply accounts of what we do to stay awake to the Coming.”
December 29, 2024
Your move, asa
April 12, 2025
This short little book packs a powerful punch! Written in the format of letters to a fictitious churchgoer, each short letter is crammed with nuggets of wisdom that encapsulates Eugene’s theology of ministry and the Christian life. It will be best enjoyed when read slowly and savoringly.
August 12, 2024
In the past I've enjoyed books by Eugene Peterson. This one felt different -- more judgmental and opinionated, less gentle and exploratory. It had an "edge" to it all the way through. Still, there were nuggets of wisdom throughout. I'm not sorry I read it, but it was not my favorite.
November 3, 2015
The Wisdom of Each Other: A Conversation Between Spiritual Friends (1998) by Eugene Peterson is a unique, though beneficial, book. It is unique because it contains a series of letters addressed to Gunnar Thorkildsson, whom Peterson described as "not an actual person with an existence documented by birth certificate and social security number", though Peterson insists that the details were grounded in actual encounters he had over the years.
In each of the several dozen letters Peterson penned, he responded to some actual circumstance of Gunnar's life--return to the faith, the poor quality of too much Christian literature, church politics, and the tranquility of canoeing. The unifying theme, as far as I am concerned, is a spirituality that does not exist above everyday life but rather enters into it and moves around in it. Peterson wisely showed us that. Although not my favorite book by Peterson, it is a welcome addition to my collection.
In each of the several dozen letters Peterson penned, he responded to some actual circumstance of Gunnar's life--return to the faith, the poor quality of too much Christian literature, church politics, and the tranquility of canoeing. The unifying theme, as far as I am concerned, is a spirituality that does not exist above everyday life but rather enters into it and moves around in it. Peterson wisely showed us that. Although not my favorite book by Peterson, it is a welcome addition to my collection.
April 13, 2007
This little book is a great introduction to Eugene Peterson. The book is basically Peterson writing letters to a recently converted friend (Gunnar). It is scarcely over 100 pages but filled with Peterson's insight and perspective on the Christian life. Find an inexpensive copy and read it in one sitting.
August 3, 2021
"A lot of the Christian life develops underground when we aren't looking."- E.P.
A short book filled with pastoral advice in the form of letters written to a fictitious, later in life convert to Christianity.
The book is full of sage advice and insights throughout. Classic Peterson. I didn't agree with the author's perspective on everything, thus, the less than 5-star rating, but there were a lot of helpful things to mull over.
Here's an example -
"I remember once as a seminarian and I had become completely captivated by a theologian who seemed to me to embody everything that theologian should be. He knew everything, had thought through everything, was conversant with all the ins and outs of the 'present evil age,' and was able to resay the Christian faith in ways that were both profoundly true and immediately understandable - and in a German accent no less! And then I found out that he was a compulsive philanderer and a dabbler in pornography. I stormed into the office of my professor and striking a tragic pose, I said, 'I'm totally disillusioned!' He slapped his hand on his desk and said, 'Good! Who wants to go around stuck with a bunch of illusions? Jesus is not going to dissolution you.'
"Initially, I was put off by his lack of sympathy but since then have appreciated his wisdom. He was right! We are in a fight for truth and God and reality. Illusions are dangerous in this business. We need to know the human heart and the surrounding culture as they are - deceitfully wicked and infested with prowling lions.
"The Christian life is not romantic and it certainly doesn't assume the best in everyone, particularly preachers. In some ways, we assume the worst but without despair for it is because of this worst that we are in the salvation business, not out selling religious cosmetics."
A short book filled with pastoral advice in the form of letters written to a fictitious, later in life convert to Christianity.
The book is full of sage advice and insights throughout. Classic Peterson. I didn't agree with the author's perspective on everything, thus, the less than 5-star rating, but there were a lot of helpful things to mull over.
Here's an example -
"I remember once as a seminarian and I had become completely captivated by a theologian who seemed to me to embody everything that theologian should be. He knew everything, had thought through everything, was conversant with all the ins and outs of the 'present evil age,' and was able to resay the Christian faith in ways that were both profoundly true and immediately understandable - and in a German accent no less! And then I found out that he was a compulsive philanderer and a dabbler in pornography. I stormed into the office of my professor and striking a tragic pose, I said, 'I'm totally disillusioned!' He slapped his hand on his desk and said, 'Good! Who wants to go around stuck with a bunch of illusions? Jesus is not going to dissolution you.'
"Initially, I was put off by his lack of sympathy but since then have appreciated his wisdom. He was right! We are in a fight for truth and God and reality. Illusions are dangerous in this business. We need to know the human heart and the surrounding culture as they are - deceitfully wicked and infested with prowling lions.
"The Christian life is not romantic and it certainly doesn't assume the best in everyone, particularly preachers. In some ways, we assume the worst but without despair for it is because of this worst that we are in the salvation business, not out selling religious cosmetics."
May 26, 2026
This is a series of letters Eugene wrote to Gunnar, a 'friend', who I suspect probably exists but with a different name to protect his privacy.
Gunnar has recently come back to the faith after resisting God for most of his life. Gunnar would I suspect be in his 40s or 50s, a scientist by profession, and as one would expect especially curious and quizzical in matters of faith.
Each letter is typically a response from one Gunnar has written seeking counsel. They are mostly 1-1.5 pages in length and written in Eugene's beautiful personable manner. Clearly, Gunnar is a good old friend who Eugene cares for.
I particularly appreciated Eugene's perspective on prayer and church life. Some of the letters didn't land anywhere special for me, but as its such a short book, I'd suggest it's an important addition to anyone's library and especially those who enjoy Peterson's writings.
Gunnar has recently come back to the faith after resisting God for most of his life. Gunnar would I suspect be in his 40s or 50s, a scientist by profession, and as one would expect especially curious and quizzical in matters of faith.
Each letter is typically a response from one Gunnar has written seeking counsel. They are mostly 1-1.5 pages in length and written in Eugene's beautiful personable manner. Clearly, Gunnar is a good old friend who Eugene cares for.
I particularly appreciated Eugene's perspective on prayer and church life. Some of the letters didn't land anywhere special for me, but as its such a short book, I'd suggest it's an important addition to anyone's library and especially those who enjoy Peterson's writings.
July 20, 2026
I think the first thing to discuss is why I was disappointed by this book. I thought this was a collection of letters written in correspondance between Eugene Peterson and an old friend, and I was expecting an intimate exchange of ideas, advice and observations. It turns out, however, that "Gunnar" is a composite character, and all of the advice is directed towards him. So it's not really about a "spiritual friendship" at all, in my opinion. The book is still filled with the wisdom of Eugene Peterson, and he discusses topics that are wide and diverse-- including youth ministry (or what passes as such), the term "spirituality," church-shopping, and other modern conundrums. I think that makes it worth reading.
January 19, 2019
A delightful little book of short letters Pastor Peterson wrote to his fictitious (and yet totally real) friend Gunnar. Gunnar has come back to the Lord and to church after a 40 years absence and Peterson coaches him through the process. I love the bits of wisdom scattered through the letters and could make instant application to my own journey of faith and struggle with the church. This was the perfect book to read in the morning as I was beginning my day. Read a letter or two and then be on my way. Having finished this morning, I wish there were more.
June 13, 2017
I laughed aloud many times as I read through these letters on a day off in my beloved university library. My favorite entry comes when Peterson rants about pastors who condescendingly push their own ministry onto 'laypeople,' creating a sickly spiritual-secular divide that disrespects the vocations of others. As someone discerning 'pastor' as part of my vocation, this is what gets my heart beating a little quicker. All the earth is holy ground.
January 21, 2022
A short book by Peterson written in the format of letters to a friend. The friend is fictional but based on Peterson's real conversations. It's the type of book where you read a page or two with your morning coffee and then come back to it when you have a quiet moment. There are some great little insights and quotable moments. I enjoyed Peterson's critiques of evangelical culture including self help books and the Christian conference world.
February 3, 2025
What a timely read! Eugene Peterson feels like a friend I turn to when my heart is in need of the deepest kind of encouragement, the kind of encouragement that comes with both depth and compassion, humility and wisdom. Receiving these gifts in the format of letters between friends was a format of writing I did not expect and was delighted in. These letters feel like A Long Obedience in the Same Direction with boots on, wisdom walking its way into your daily life with Jesus.
June 17, 2026
Its Eugene, so its good.
I was in the mood for some Petersen prose, so at random, picked one of the few books of his I haven't read. This wasnt what I was expecting. Its a book written in the style of the screwtape letters, that is, you witness one side of a letter exchange, where Petersen coaches and encourages his friend in the Christian life. Its incredibly full of wisdom for such a short book. Highly recommend.
I was in the mood for some Petersen prose, so at random, picked one of the few books of his I haven't read. This wasnt what I was expecting. Its a book written in the style of the screwtape letters, that is, you witness one side of a letter exchange, where Petersen coaches and encourages his friend in the Christian life. Its incredibly full of wisdom for such a short book. Highly recommend.
June 5, 2018
A solid and practical book of pastoral wisdom through the powerful and unique medium of personal letters. Eugene Peterson isn’t hesitant to comment upon or criticize common practices within church culture and Christian living. The book is a refreshing voice of truth and was a delightful quick read.
October 7, 2019
I really enjoyed this "down-to-earth" practical epistolary book. used it as a discussion opportunity with friends and it worked nicely. Looking forward to using again with other group opportunities.
October 20, 2019
I love Eugene Peterson this short pithy book was no different than all his other work. Pastoral, church loving and God exalting. It did make regret I read him so late in his life and that I never wrote him a letter while he was alive.
October 16, 2020
The usual Peterson mix of the thought provoking and heart inspiring. I love the format too with its bite size portions but then you realise that you always bite off more than you can chew in one go!!
May 8, 2023
I so appreciate Peterson as a pastor - he comes across as wise, humane, exceptionally patient, and head-over-heels for Christ. He also has a good sense of the absurd and a streak of grumpiness that I quite enjoy.
January 21, 2026
Because of time pressure I ended up reading most of this on a flight. This speed read was to my detriment, as this is a book to sip at. Peterson is simply incredibly wise. Practical but never shallow. Definitely some quotes that I'll be returning to again and again.
March 5, 2026
4.5/5, this is beautifully written and poignant. Peterson has one of the most unpretentious writing styles of any pastor. Simple, but insightful, uplifting and humbling. Absolutely worth the time to read this little book.
January 28, 2020
Style of Screwtape Letters, except a faithful mentor writing to a new believer. As a pastor, loved his approach to finding and appreciating a church.
December 7, 2021
A great short book of letters back and forth between spiritual friends.
January 27, 2022
Subversive. Profound. So much grace. An ally into the real world.
July 22, 2023
I wasn’t sure what to expect from this tiny little book, but there is a lot of weight and wisdom within these pages. I throughly enjoyed it and hope to return to it.
August 29, 2024
I just LOVE Eugene Peterson. This isn't really about friendship, it's just a book about life, but I particularly like the way he gave advice about the Church in this one.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews