A Fine Young Man: What Parents, Mentors, and Educators Can Do to Shape Adolescent Boys into Exceptional Men

by Michael Gurian

From depression to dropping grades, from incidents of violence to teen suicide, today's adolescent boys are one of the largest at-risk groups in America today. In this bracing and insightful book, the bestselling author of The Wonder of Boys directs our attention to the unknown problems and marvels of this age group, helping parents and mentors shepherd boys through the challenging ages of ten to twenty.

Puberty encourages guilty alienation and fear. The result is that other boys often have a good deal of influence in the lives of younger adolescent friends, for better or for worse. A number of medical conditions have become almost common among adolescent boys, at least in part because of a lack of support. These range from simple depression, to trauma, to the elaborately named attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD). Experimentation with drugs and alcohol has become almost common, and these contribute to delinquency and sometimes even to suicide.
In A FINE YOUNG MAN Gurian establishes three major stages in a boy’s progress to transformation (the metabolic changes from ages nine to thirteen), determination (characterized by alternate aggression and withdrawal), and consolidation (indicated by determining and testing definitions of adult male behavior). He concludes by offering what he considers indications that the process of individuation has begun. He returns often to the worthwhile observation that what boys need at every stage of the process of maturing is consistent support from a variety of sources both within and outside of the family. It is this support that is too often lacking.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Psychology, Education, Family, Childrens

320 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1990

About the author

Michael Gurian is an American author and social philosopher. He works as a marriage and family counselor and corporate consultant. He has published twenty-eight books, several of which were New York Times bestseller list bestsellers. He is considered, along with Leonard Sax, as one of the major proponents of the post-modern "single-sex academic classes" movement.
Gurian taught at Gonzaga University, Eastern Washington University, and Ankara University. His work tends to focus on sex differences and how they contribute to learning.
He is also a co-founder of the Gurian Institute, which trains professionals who deal with the developmental aspects of childhood. The Gurian Institute has trained more than 60,000 teachers from over 2,000 different schools. Some of these schools become "GI Model Schools" and aim to leverage the role gender plays in learning styles.

Reviews

[Denise · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome book for understanding boys. It helped me understand how to help Noah with this challenging stage called adolescence.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Took a long while to finish, and it might be my second time. Not quite as compelling as The Wonder of Boys, but still insightful. Just perhaps a bit philosophical to be perfectly helpful.

[Russelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I know I didn’t read every page of this book but my son managed to get into USNA so I’ll call it a success.

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I learned a lot from this book. Especially being raised with sisters only, some of these things were an eye-opener. I think it could be typed up in a few-paged summary though, because not all of the book was worthwhile and some parts I completely disagreed with. But the good stuff was very good, and useful. I've got 2 little boys and I think I'll apply this a lot more as they get older.

[Susan Okeefe · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book that I decided to keep even though my son had left home to attend university. I would recommend it to any parent with an adolescent son. We sometimes think that our sons need us less as they go through their teenage years. This book shows the opposite - our sons benefit from our parenting more than ever.

[DeDe · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me by our pediatrician. It does a good job of helping you understand your adolescent boy. It's especially great for moms like me that never had brothers and need some help understanding how boys think and why they do what they do.

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Heavy going in places ( a lot about brain development) but interesting, particularly thoughts on single-sex vs co-ed for boys - strongly recommends single sex for adolescent boys and no dating before 16!

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book. Boys go through 3 stages. They need lots of help being guided through them. They need mentors. Not just their parents. They need good friends and adults around them who can model things for them. They need to learn compassion. So many things to think about for my boys!

[Cws]

305.23

[Weavre · Rating 5 out of 5]

This amazing book provided a ton of insights and ideas that helped me be a better parent to an adolescent boy. I can't recommend it highly enough to do it justice.

[Susanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Didn't read it all. Makes some good points. I disagree with some parts but it made me more aware of my boys.

[Rick · Rating 4 out of 5]

All of Gurian's books are good.

[Lu]

boys ages 10-20

[Dale · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gurian is thought provoking. Sometimes his approach seems a bit simplistic, but still there's plenty of value to his books.

[Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recommended by Lonnie my first parent educator

[Audrey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Insightful reading on transitioning teen relationships.

[Deb (Readerbuzz) Nance · Rating 3 out of 5]

Boys at risk.

[Donna]

One of many parenting books over the years ....

Something to be learned from each one.