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The Guinness Book of Poisonous Quotes
A wickedly entertaining collection of caustic quips and witty criticisms.
[Note: originally published as two separate books, The Guinness Dictionary of Poisonous Quotes (1991) and The Guinness Dictionary of More Poisonous Quotes (1992).]
[Note: originally published as two separate books, The Guinness Dictionary of Poisonous Quotes (1991) and The Guinness Dictionary of More Poisonous Quotes (1992).]
- GenresNonfictionReferenceHumor
352 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1991
About the author
Colin Jarman
52 books1 followerMulti-published (30+ titles) author / editor in the UK & USA on subjects ranging from James Bond to Judge Dredd, from Roy of the Rovers to the Ryder Cup, from Doctor Who to Fred Astaire, from poker to dancing, from biography to humour.
Owns and runs Blue Eyed Books in the Uk
http://www.blue-eyed-books.co.uk/"
Owns and runs Blue Eyed Books in the Uk
http://www.blue-eyed-books.co.uk/"
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
December 5, 2008
Anonymous: They couldn't find the artist so they hung the painting.
Alanna Nash: Kenny Rogers is the musical equivalent of the black velvet Elvis.
Flannery O'Conner: Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. Many a bestseller could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Gore Vidal: Andy Warhol is the only genius with an IQ of 60.
Alanna Nash: Kenny Rogers is the musical equivalent of the black velvet Elvis.
Flannery O'Conner: Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. Many a bestseller could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Gore Vidal: Andy Warhol is the only genius with an IQ of 60.
May 9, 2021
This is a book of wonderfully clever quotes by extremely clever people about things and people they don't like. It's enlightening at times to find out just how snarky some historical figures were.
August 12, 2009
Maybe it's my peculiar sense of humor (I definitely have one), but this book can cheer me up like nothing else if I'm feeling down. I just open it to any page at all and start reading. Within 2-3 pages I'm laughing myself silly.
August 11, 2019
Looking for the perfect insult?
There's a lot of material here that you won't find in, say, Bartlett's Familiar Quotations. And some of it is surprising, some of it is delightful, a lot is funny, and some of it useful for cribbing. (Take the structure of an insult aimed at x, rearrange a word or two, and aim it at y.) For example, Mark Twain is quoted on the cover as saying, "Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress, but I repeat myself." (Incidentally this gem is not in Bartlett's, at least not in the sixteenth edition, which I have.) Teachers, for example, can then say, "Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were an administrator, but I repeat myself." For those of you in the business world, just plug in "CEO," etc.
Also not found in Bartlett's (alas there's a lot unavoidably not found in Bartlett's, but that's another review), is this on critics from Marilyn Monroe: "I've always felt those articles somehow reveal more about the writers than they do about me." Dumb blonde?--troubled, but not dumb.
Compiler Colin Jarman organizes the verbal swordplay into chapters by category, beginning with "Critics and Criticism" in chapter one, followed by "The Creative Arts"...through literature, drama, film, music...religion, etc., ending with "Insults, Retorts, and Self-Criticism" in which the quoted get to insult themselves, e.g., "I'm as pure as the driven slush" –Tallulah Bankhead. There's an Index by name referencing both the speaker and the target.
The quality of the insults and ironic misspeakings is very high. I read this through in one setting some years ago, compulsively, and had many a chuckle and some outright belly laughs, and then I read it again a couple of years later and laughed anew. Looking through it once again, I have to say, there was a lot I underappreciated.
Bottom line: worth both the candle and the plastic.
--Dennis Littrell, author of the mystery novel, “Teddy and Teri”
There's a lot of material here that you won't find in, say, Bartlett's Familiar Quotations. And some of it is surprising, some of it is delightful, a lot is funny, and some of it useful for cribbing. (Take the structure of an insult aimed at x, rearrange a word or two, and aim it at y.) For example, Mark Twain is quoted on the cover as saying, "Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress, but I repeat myself." (Incidentally this gem is not in Bartlett's, at least not in the sixteenth edition, which I have.) Teachers, for example, can then say, "Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were an administrator, but I repeat myself." For those of you in the business world, just plug in "CEO," etc.
Also not found in Bartlett's (alas there's a lot unavoidably not found in Bartlett's, but that's another review), is this on critics from Marilyn Monroe: "I've always felt those articles somehow reveal more about the writers than they do about me." Dumb blonde?--troubled, but not dumb.
Compiler Colin Jarman organizes the verbal swordplay into chapters by category, beginning with "Critics and Criticism" in chapter one, followed by "The Creative Arts"...through literature, drama, film, music...religion, etc., ending with "Insults, Retorts, and Self-Criticism" in which the quoted get to insult themselves, e.g., "I'm as pure as the driven slush" –Tallulah Bankhead. There's an Index by name referencing both the speaker and the target.
The quality of the insults and ironic misspeakings is very high. I read this through in one setting some years ago, compulsively, and had many a chuckle and some outright belly laughs, and then I read it again a couple of years later and laughed anew. Looking through it once again, I have to say, there was a lot I underappreciated.
Bottom line: worth both the candle and the plastic.
--Dennis Littrell, author of the mystery novel, “Teddy and Teri”
February 18, 2022
Made me laugh, a LOT. Sharing with a friend, who also appreciates a good "slam"...
April 24, 2023
Interesting little book.
July 14, 2023
A wickedly entertaining collection of caustic quips and witty criticisms.
July 5, 2024
Good, when I was younger and bitter. Now, it seems unnecessary.
February 17, 2025
I have this as two separate books.
The Guinness Book of Poisonous Quotes
&
The Guinness Book of Yet More Poisonous Quotes
The Guinness Book of Poisonous Quotes
&
The Guinness Book of Yet More Poisonous Quotes
March 17, 2026
classic old fashioned stuff.... very good for this say and age
January 21, 2016
Pure entertainment! I believe some of these reviews are a little harsh. It's a 20+ year old book of poisonous quotes, and a lot of them are still funny, even by today's society and our cultural sense of humor. I like the diversity within the book, and it's organized beautifully.
"There are only two things I dislike about her-her face." ~Anonymous
Sick burn, whoever you are/were.
"There are only two things I dislike about her-her face." ~Anonymous
Sick burn, whoever you are/were.
November 18, 2016
I love a tart observation well worded. This book is full of them. I won't endeavor to pick a short list of favorite quotations, there are too many gems.
"Gertrude Stein was masterly in making nothing happen very slowly." -- Clifton Fadiman
I'd recommend browsing rather than perusing this piece; if you dwell with it too long you'll reach saturation and the effect will be damped, if not lost.
"Gertrude Stein was masterly in making nothing happen very slowly." -- Clifton Fadiman
I'd recommend browsing rather than perusing this piece; if you dwell with it too long you'll reach saturation and the effect will be damped, if not lost.
June 18, 2008
I love quote books and this has some great jabs in it.
July 29, 2011
Screamingly funny!
January 28, 2012
Sample: "This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown aside with great force."
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews