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Slaying It #1
When Life Gives You Vampires
A paranormal Dumplin' for adults, When Life Gives You Vampires is part a journey of body positivity, part a story about learning how to accept love at face value, and part a hysterical romcom told through a paranormal lens.
Twenty-five year old Lily Baines is used to waking up hungover, overweight, and underemployed. Waking up with fangs? Not so much. But when it turns out a little light necking has more serious consequences than she ever imagined, Lily's determined to get to the bottom of it.
Tristan hadn't meant to turn Lily—it's against vampire law—but now that she's here, they need to team up to save their hides. They strike a truce, fending off other vampires, Lily's work-rival-turned-slayer, and her mother's tone-deaf romance and fitness advice—all while Lily faces down her insecurities about the fact that she lives in a diet-obsessed world with a body that will never age, never die, and never change. Can she learn to love the (plus size) woman she'll be forever more?
Twenty-five year old Lily Baines is used to waking up hungover, overweight, and underemployed. Waking up with fangs? Not so much. But when it turns out a little light necking has more serious consequences than she ever imagined, Lily's determined to get to the bottom of it.
Tristan hadn't meant to turn Lily—it's against vampire law—but now that she's here, they need to team up to save their hides. They strike a truce, fending off other vampires, Lily's work-rival-turned-slayer, and her mother's tone-deaf romance and fitness advice—all while Lily faces down her insecurities about the fact that she lives in a diet-obsessed world with a body that will never age, never die, and never change. Can she learn to love the (plus size) woman she'll be forever more?
329 pages, Paperback
First published October 4, 2022
165 people are currently reading
11884 people want to read
About the author
Gloria Duke
4 books127 followersGloria Duke is a pen name. In my other life, I'm Gloria Ketterer, a WGA Award-winning radio writer, TV sitcom writer, and brand advertising creative director. I live in Philadelphia, PA with my dog, Rocky, and my cat, Pippa. I hate humidity but love a comfy pair of pajamas, a big glass of red wine--and, of course, a good rom-com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,205 reviews
October 15, 2022
Lily isn’t surprised to wake up hungover, but when she can’t remember the night before and suddenly has a thirst for blood, she’s pretty sure something isn’t quite right. As she gradually remembers trying to squeeze into a new pair of too-small but cute jeans, she also remembers meeting someone handsome and charming…who may have turned her into a vampire. As she recovers her memory and struggles with the newness of being a vampire, she also tries to face down her insecurities and the Vampire Council, who may not be too happy she exists.
The concept of this story was fun, but it just didn’t do it for me. I wanted to like this work since it’s supposed to be about body positivity and accepting yourself, but that character “growth” was hardly included and was emphasized in a clunky, poor way.
Lily was an obnoxious protagonist. Seventy percent of the book is her hating on herself, hating on others for judging her, but then also making judgments about others, and it became a struggle to read. She also talks like she’s a teen from the 2000s and has stupid temper tantrums. I love protagonists who undergo character growth and have flaws, but it wasn’t until the very end of the book that a switch flipped and suddenly everything was good – not relatable, realistic, or engaging.
I’m not going to get as in-depth as I could about Tristan and the romance but let me say this – just because he’s hot and says, “I wouldn’t have done that without your consent, but you totally gave me your consent, but I’m sorry if you feel like you didn’t” doesn’t make him a swoon-worthy romantic. All of the characters felt like caricatures, including the two MCs, that none of them were engaging.
Some other quick notes that detracted from this work – the pacing was awful (intense action then chapters of nothing), the villain felt like he was just tossed in for some cheap conflict (no real sense of danger or threat, no depth or real character for him), Lily’s mom’s unexplained 180 at the end of the work (seemed like it was only included to make a too-neat, happy ending), unexplained things we’re just supposed to accept (not including these because spoilers), constant Twilight and Buffy the Vampire Slayer references (we get it)...I’m going to stop here.
I can see why some might enjoy this book, but I can’t recommend it. I listened to the audiobook version of this work, and if I never hear another person say “obvi” again in this life, it will still be too soon (that being said, the narrator did a great job, it wasn’t her fault she had to say it so much). My thanks to NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for allowing me to read and review this book. All thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own.
The concept of this story was fun, but it just didn’t do it for me. I wanted to like this work since it’s supposed to be about body positivity and accepting yourself, but that character “growth” was hardly included and was emphasized in a clunky, poor way.
Lily was an obnoxious protagonist. Seventy percent of the book is her hating on herself, hating on others for judging her, but then also making judgments about others, and it became a struggle to read. She also talks like she’s a teen from the 2000s and has stupid temper tantrums. I love protagonists who undergo character growth and have flaws, but it wasn’t until the very end of the book that a switch flipped and suddenly everything was good – not relatable, realistic, or engaging.
I’m not going to get as in-depth as I could about Tristan and the romance but let me say this – just because he’s hot and says, “I wouldn’t have done that without your consent, but you totally gave me your consent, but I’m sorry if you feel like you didn’t” doesn’t make him a swoon-worthy romantic. All of the characters felt like caricatures, including the two MCs, that none of them were engaging.
Some other quick notes that detracted from this work – the pacing was awful (intense action then chapters of nothing), the villain felt like he was just tossed in for some cheap conflict (no real sense of danger or threat, no depth or real character for him), Lily’s mom’s unexplained 180 at the end of the work (seemed like it was only included to make a too-neat, happy ending), unexplained things we’re just supposed to accept (not including these because spoilers), constant Twilight and Buffy the Vampire Slayer references (we get it)...I’m going to stop here.
I can see why some might enjoy this book, but I can’t recommend it. I listened to the audiobook version of this work, and if I never hear another person say “obvi” again in this life, it will still be too soon (that being said, the narrator did a great job, it wasn’t her fault she had to say it so much). My thanks to NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for allowing me to read and review this book. All thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own.
July 9, 2023
this is objectively a terrible book that feels like it was published in 2002 rather than 2022 but it was the same brand of garbage as cheesy horror movies. i knew pretty instantly that this wasn't going to be great, mainly because the main character's dialogue and inner monologue was more YA than adult (mainly in the phrases: BFF, obvi, saying iPhone every time she referred to her phone). this book is pretty slow-going, it only takes place over a couple of days, and the book really only has a few scenes if you really break it down, so the plot wasn't very strong either. and the romance was so dry and typical, it was honestly kind of annoying.
the main issue with this book and why i imagine the rating--including mine--is so low is because the internalized fatphobia in this and the way the main character solves it is so wrong. lily has zero self love for herself, and the conundrum i thought would be interesting of "what do i do with diet culture now that i'm this size forever?" ended up falling so flat. it would take a 2-hour video essay to unpack every little facet of why her mentality around weight was so flawed, and the resolution even weaker. but it was just miserable to be in lily's head, unable to escape her own self-hatred unless she felt pretty through the eyes of the love interest.
despite rating this book so low and having a roll my eye moment on every single page, i do credit it for the fact that it knows it's a silly book. it doesn't take the subject matter too seriously (even when it should, unfortunately), and that willingness to break the fourth wall was enough of a bandaid to continue reading. even though it took me a full week to read 330 pages because it could be pretty painful to slog through this main character's miserably outdated observations on her own body and societal expectations of plus size women.
the main issue with this book and why i imagine the rating--including mine--is so low is because the internalized fatphobia in this and the way the main character solves it is so wrong. lily has zero self love for herself, and the conundrum i thought would be interesting of "what do i do with diet culture now that i'm this size forever?" ended up falling so flat. it would take a 2-hour video essay to unpack every little facet of why her mentality around weight was so flawed, and the resolution even weaker. but it was just miserable to be in lily's head, unable to escape her own self-hatred unless she felt pretty through the eyes of the love interest.
despite rating this book so low and having a roll my eye moment on every single page, i do credit it for the fact that it knows it's a silly book. it doesn't take the subject matter too seriously (even when it should, unfortunately), and that willingness to break the fourth wall was enough of a bandaid to continue reading. even though it took me a full week to read 330 pages because it could be pretty painful to slog through this main character's miserably outdated observations on her own body and societal expectations of plus size women.
June 19, 2022
Wow, this was a book I was so interested in reading that I'm not going to be able to recommend to anyone.
Lily Bane is a fat woman struggling with her body image, especially in comparison to her thin best friend and her fatphobic mother. When a handsome man offers to buy her a drink, she feels totally unworthy of his attention - and then he turns her into a vampire and her whole life goes off the rails.
Right off the bat, I wasn't meshing with this author's writing style. It feels very elder millennial - several sentences start with "FYI" or "Obvi," and it just feels forced.
But the whole thing feels stuck in the fat rep or body positivity of the early 2000s. Lily doesn't ever really learn to love her body for what it is - she really does end up seeing it through the lens of her love interest, a very boring vampire man who is a romance novelist, which I think is meant to be shorthand for the reader to understand he's ~good with women~ and ~in touch with his feelings~, neither of which are true. Even with the author's note at the beginning, I found the way that Lily thought and her mother talked about her body to be incredibly harmful. There's a weird moment where Lily realizes her fatphobia about herself has made her thin friend feel like she can't talk about things with her, because Lily always has a story about someone making her feel shitty about her body and so the friend's story pales in comparison, which really smacks of "tHiN pEoPlE fEeL bAd AbOuT tHeIr BoDiEs ToO!"
And Tristan is so unlikeable as a hero, too. As mentioned above, he's a romance novelist. This is really a way for the author to get you to assume he empathizes with women and gets the struggle of being a woman in the kyriarchy without having to do any work to prove that. It doesn't work! Tristan is stuck in the 1600s (like, literally at one point a former love interest of his tells Lily that he couldn't wrap his mind around her independence as a woman in the 1800s which is! wild!) and simultaneously refuses to tell Lily anything that would keep her safe and then berates her for not recognizing threats.
He changed Lily by accident:
Anyways, this was a disappointment from start to finish. I don't recommend it, and I think it's probably actively harmful. YMMV.
Thank you Sourcebooks and NetGalley for the ARC.
Lily Bane is a fat woman struggling with her body image, especially in comparison to her thin best friend and her fatphobic mother. When a handsome man offers to buy her a drink, she feels totally unworthy of his attention - and then he turns her into a vampire and her whole life goes off the rails.
Right off the bat, I wasn't meshing with this author's writing style. It feels very elder millennial - several sentences start with "FYI" or "Obvi," and it just feels forced.
But the whole thing feels stuck in the fat rep or body positivity of the early 2000s. Lily doesn't ever really learn to love her body for what it is - she really does end up seeing it through the lens of her love interest, a very boring vampire man who is a romance novelist, which I think is meant to be shorthand for the reader to understand he's ~good with women~ and ~in touch with his feelings~, neither of which are true. Even with the author's note at the beginning, I found the way that Lily thought and her mother talked about her body to be incredibly harmful. There's a weird moment where Lily realizes her fatphobia about herself has made her thin friend feel like she can't talk about things with her, because Lily always has a story about someone making her feel shitty about her body and so the friend's story pales in comparison, which really smacks of "tHiN pEoPlE fEeL bAd AbOuT tHeIr BoDiEs ToO!"
And Tristan is so unlikeable as a hero, too. As mentioned above, he's a romance novelist. This is really a way for the author to get you to assume he empathizes with women and gets the struggle of being a woman in the kyriarchy without having to do any work to prove that. It doesn't work! Tristan is stuck in the 1600s (like, literally at one point a former love interest of his tells Lily that he couldn't wrap his mind around her independence as a woman in the 1800s which is! wild!) and simultaneously refuses to tell Lily anything that would keep her safe and then berates her for not recognizing threats.
He changed Lily by accident:
Anyways, this was a disappointment from start to finish. I don't recommend it, and I think it's probably actively harmful. YMMV.
Thank you Sourcebooks and NetGalley for the ARC.
October 18, 2022
When Life Gives You Vampires by Gloria Duke
Paranormal romance, chick lit. Trigger warnings: body shaming.
Craving blood? Surprise. You’re a vampire.
Lily wakes up, not remembering what happened the night before. As she tries to figure out how to live her new life as a vampire, she also has to confront her self image and how she feels about herself.
Some comedy and a small amount of romance but most of the story is Lily coming to terms with her body and realizing how much of her daily life is thinking negatively about herself. As she learns about being a vampire, she uses some of her well known diet tricks to stop the cravings including drinking lots of water and chewing gum. Things every dieter recognizes. While she learns much about herself and even how she has made a friend feel bad unintentionally, it’s ultimately about the romance in the end.
🎧 I listened to an audiobook narrated by Meg Sylvan. She did a wonderful job with the humor and timing in the performance. I listened to the book via Hoopla at 1.4 speed which I felt was the most comfortable for conversation.
3.0 for the story, 4.0 for the audio performance.
Paranormal romance, chick lit. Trigger warnings: body shaming.
Craving blood? Surprise. You’re a vampire.
Lily wakes up, not remembering what happened the night before. As she tries to figure out how to live her new life as a vampire, she also has to confront her self image and how she feels about herself.
Some comedy and a small amount of romance but most of the story is Lily coming to terms with her body and realizing how much of her daily life is thinking negatively about herself. As she learns about being a vampire, she uses some of her well known diet tricks to stop the cravings including drinking lots of water and chewing gum. Things every dieter recognizes. While she learns much about herself and even how she has made a friend feel bad unintentionally, it’s ultimately about the romance in the end.
🎧 I listened to an audiobook narrated by Meg Sylvan. She did a wonderful job with the humor and timing in the performance. I listened to the book via Hoopla at 1.4 speed which I felt was the most comfortable for conversation.
3.0 for the story, 4.0 for the audio performance.
February 2, 2023
This book had the opportunity to be fun and camp and positive fat representation. Instead, I would go so far as to say that this is harmful and non productive fat representation and that makes me really sad.
November 30, 2022
I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
I'm sorry, but how is it even possible that I'm absolutely jonesing for a big, tall glass of A positive?
When Lily wakes up after having slept through the day, craving blood, no reflection in the mirror, and no memory of what happened after she went out with her bestfriend Cat, they both can only think, vampire. When Cat takes her to a blood bank that she volunteers at to feed, Lily gets her memory back from the energy the blood gives her. Suddenly Lily's dealing with being one of the undead, a 400 year old hottie that acts like he likes her, and a Grand Master of the North American Vampire Council wanting to exact revenge on her.
He moves closer, getting in my face. “Why do you insist on being the prickly heroine who pushes everyone away?
Told all from Lily's point-of-view and in a stream of conscious that felt chaotic and uneven, Lily worries more about her weight than being turned into a vampire, this didn't quite capture me into the story. We get the flashback of Lily meeting Tristan in a bar and then when he walks her home, he thinks he's using his Influence on her and starts to drink from her neck. Lily, aware of what is happening, decides to bite him back and accidentally performs the ceremony needed to change her into a vampire. She runs from Tristan, goes to Cat the next night and then Tristan catches back up with her to give her some information. It's against the vampire council rules to create a “newborn” without their say so and the Grand Master, Gideon, just so happens to be Tristan's enemy, so it's on with Gideon hunting them to kill them both.
Tristan Newberry bit me two nights ago. But when, exactly, did he start getting under my skin?
For being the male main character and the whole catalyst for what happens and changes Lily's life, Tristan actually felt like a nonentity for a lot of the story. The story being from Lily's pov didn't help getting to know him, we don't get a lot about him or his past, and the way his character didn't really do much had him feeling barely sketched out. After Lily drinks from him, which causes insatiable desire and has them having a bedroom scene around the 65% mark, Lily also learns from Tristan's blood that he had a great love that died. Since Lily has strong insecurities stemming from her weight, she just can't believe Tristan loves her and has her constantly pushing or running from him.
Maybe I like him...a little.
Gideon hunting Lily and Tristan consisted of two threatening notes to Lily and then kidnapping her mother, Gideon was a pretty off to the side villain. We got a little world-building with Tristan explaining the vampire council and then how when a newborn is created a vampire slayer is automatically made, usually the newborn's nemesis in someway. Lily's nemesis was a work colleague and he makes a small appearance to bring in some danger and a little secondary romance with Cat.
Maybe my power was there all along. And I just needed to embrace it.
The last 15% has the big showdown between Gideon, Lily and Tristan. It was an ok battle scene but since Gideon was off screen so much, I'm not sure I really felt the stakes. Lily's mom has a 180 degree character change, she'd been big in fat shaming Lily all her life and even reveals the big secret about Lily's father. I really never felt the emotional development between Lily and Tristan, he's hot and Lily thinks he does caring things here and there between being too protective and Tristan says here and there that he likes Lily. Since I didn't feel there was substance between them, I didn't believe in the I love yous that were thrown out in the end and this couple ended up feeling pretty meh. Lily does bring up her insecurities repeatedly throughout the book and the nonchalant way she took becoming a vampire, her personal weight issues more on her mind at times than becoming undead, just didn't personally jive with me. The tone is supposed to feel fast paced and frivolous but it felt off and chaotic in a way to me that just didn't have the story landing with me.
For the first time, I see that I am so much more.
I'm sorry, but how is it even possible that I'm absolutely jonesing for a big, tall glass of A positive?
When Lily wakes up after having slept through the day, craving blood, no reflection in the mirror, and no memory of what happened after she went out with her bestfriend Cat, they both can only think, vampire. When Cat takes her to a blood bank that she volunteers at to feed, Lily gets her memory back from the energy the blood gives her. Suddenly Lily's dealing with being one of the undead, a 400 year old hottie that acts like he likes her, and a Grand Master of the North American Vampire Council wanting to exact revenge on her.
He moves closer, getting in my face. “Why do you insist on being the prickly heroine who pushes everyone away?
Told all from Lily's point-of-view and in a stream of conscious that felt chaotic and uneven, Lily worries more about her weight than being turned into a vampire, this didn't quite capture me into the story. We get the flashback of Lily meeting Tristan in a bar and then when he walks her home, he thinks he's using his Influence on her and starts to drink from her neck. Lily, aware of what is happening, decides to bite him back and accidentally performs the ceremony needed to change her into a vampire. She runs from Tristan, goes to Cat the next night and then Tristan catches back up with her to give her some information. It's against the vampire council rules to create a “newborn” without their say so and the Grand Master, Gideon, just so happens to be Tristan's enemy, so it's on with Gideon hunting them to kill them both.
Tristan Newberry bit me two nights ago. But when, exactly, did he start getting under my skin?
For being the male main character and the whole catalyst for what happens and changes Lily's life, Tristan actually felt like a nonentity for a lot of the story. The story being from Lily's pov didn't help getting to know him, we don't get a lot about him or his past, and the way his character didn't really do much had him feeling barely sketched out. After Lily drinks from him, which causes insatiable desire and has them having a bedroom scene around the 65% mark, Lily also learns from Tristan's blood that he had a great love that died. Since Lily has strong insecurities stemming from her weight, she just can't believe Tristan loves her and has her constantly pushing or running from him.
Maybe I like him...a little.
Gideon hunting Lily and Tristan consisted of two threatening notes to Lily and then kidnapping her mother, Gideon was a pretty off to the side villain. We got a little world-building with Tristan explaining the vampire council and then how when a newborn is created a vampire slayer is automatically made, usually the newborn's nemesis in someway. Lily's nemesis was a work colleague and he makes a small appearance to bring in some danger and a little secondary romance with Cat.
Maybe my power was there all along. And I just needed to embrace it.
The last 15% has the big showdown between Gideon, Lily and Tristan. It was an ok battle scene but since Gideon was off screen so much, I'm not sure I really felt the stakes. Lily's mom has a 180 degree character change, she'd been big in fat shaming Lily all her life and even reveals the big secret about Lily's father. I really never felt the emotional development between Lily and Tristan, he's hot and Lily thinks he does caring things here and there between being too protective and Tristan says here and there that he likes Lily. Since I didn't feel there was substance between them, I didn't believe in the I love yous that were thrown out in the end and this couple ended up feeling pretty meh. Lily does bring up her insecurities repeatedly throughout the book and the nonchalant way she took becoming a vampire, her personal weight issues more on her mind at times than becoming undead, just didn't personally jive with me. The tone is supposed to feel fast paced and frivolous but it felt off and chaotic in a way to me that just didn't have the story landing with me.
For the first time, I see that I am so much more.
October 18, 2022
Immediately no. This has to be one of the WORST books I've ever read. Allow me to list a few reasons why.
1. There is almost no character growth in this book. Lily is a fat woman (so am I) who is constantly portrayed as being mean to herself about it and can hardly believe it when a conventionally attractive man is interested in her. Straight up, this shit just annoyed me. I get that is all a part of being a plus-size woman, but when the entire book is focusing on things like this, it really started to annoy me.
2. BRUH WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. This man starts sucking her blood and says it was because he thought he could after HE TRIED TO ENTER HER MIND TO GET HER TO SAY YES TO IT????!!! Right then I knew this was probably not the book for me. And then he makes excuses for it when she confronts him about it????? AND THIS SHIT WAS WRITTEN BY A WOMAN? No.
3. I didn't like the writing style. I didn't like it at all. It reminded me of a fanfic (nothing wrong with fanfics) that got posted without having a beta reader.
4. The constant non-consent things that Tristian did was icky. It was gross. It was unacceptable. And then to sat "Well that's just how I was taught" or "That's just what vampires do" is the same as saying "Well, boys will be boys". I'm over this kind of shit written in books. And it is always more disappointing when the author is a woman.
I will be making a hard pass on all the rest of this author's books. I've seen what I needed to see.
1. There is almost no character growth in this book. Lily is a fat woman (so am I) who is constantly portrayed as being mean to herself about it and can hardly believe it when a conventionally attractive man is interested in her. Straight up, this shit just annoyed me. I get that is all a part of being a plus-size woman, but when the entire book is focusing on things like this, it really started to annoy me.
2. BRUH WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. This man starts sucking her blood and says it was because he thought he could after HE TRIED TO ENTER HER MIND TO GET HER TO SAY YES TO IT????!!! Right then I knew this was probably not the book for me. And then he makes excuses for it when she confronts him about it????? AND THIS SHIT WAS WRITTEN BY A WOMAN? No.
3. I didn't like the writing style. I didn't like it at all. It reminded me of a fanfic (nothing wrong with fanfics) that got posted without having a beta reader.
4. The constant non-consent things that Tristian did was icky. It was gross. It was unacceptable. And then to sat "Well that's just how I was taught" or "That's just what vampires do" is the same as saying "Well, boys will be boys". I'm over this kind of shit written in books. And it is always more disappointing when the author is a woman.
I will be making a hard pass on all the rest of this author's books. I've seen what I needed to see.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 28, 2022
When Life Gives You Vampires
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Genre: Romance
Format: Kindle eBook and Audiobook
Date Published: 10/4/22
Author: Gloria Duke
Publisher: Sourcebook Casablanca and Dreamscape Media
Narrator: Meg Sylvan
GR: 3.25
I requested a digital advanced readers copy from NetGalley, Sourcebook Casablanca and Dreamscape Media and providing my opinion voluntarily and unbiased.
Synopsis: Twenty-five year old Lily Baines is used to waking up hungover, overweight, and underemployed. Waking up with fangs? Not so much. Tristan hadn't meant to turn Lily—it's against vampire law—but now that she's here, they need to team up to save their hides. They strike a truce, fending off other vampires, Lily's work-rival-turned-slayer, and her mother's tone-deaf romance and fitness advice—all while Lily faces down her insecurities about the fact that she lives in a diet-obsessed world with a body that will never age, never die, and never change. Can she learn to love the (plus size) woman she'll be forever more?
My Thoughts: I am not sure why the low GR rating as I thought this was a wonderful book. I did both the ebook and audio and it was fantastic. The narrator really did the voices amazingly and brought flare to the characters, immersing you into the moment. Part fantasy, part romance, and full vampire, just in time for Halloween! The book is reflective of body positivity and the struggles a person can have when their self worth is measured in appearance. I think Duke does a good job bringing positivity to body size and delivers an important message, it is important to not only stand in your truth but love yourself, no matter your size. Duke also brings the humor, there were times that I laughed out loud. Now I understand this book would not be for everyone but I loved it. The characters were developed well with depth, witty banter, mad chemistry, and creatively built throughout the story. Lilly is a fantastic heroine with sarcasm and kindness. While our hero, Tristin, is the perfect handsome and hot hero. The author’s writing style is complex, funny, connective, and kept me engaged throughout the story. I really hope this turns into a series as I would love to see the romance bloom between Evan and Kat. I highly recommend preordering the audiobook on this one!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Genre: Romance
Format: Kindle eBook and Audiobook
Date Published: 10/4/22
Author: Gloria Duke
Publisher: Sourcebook Casablanca and Dreamscape Media
Narrator: Meg Sylvan
GR: 3.25
I requested a digital advanced readers copy from NetGalley, Sourcebook Casablanca and Dreamscape Media and providing my opinion voluntarily and unbiased.
Synopsis: Twenty-five year old Lily Baines is used to waking up hungover, overweight, and underemployed. Waking up with fangs? Not so much. Tristan hadn't meant to turn Lily—it's against vampire law—but now that she's here, they need to team up to save their hides. They strike a truce, fending off other vampires, Lily's work-rival-turned-slayer, and her mother's tone-deaf romance and fitness advice—all while Lily faces down her insecurities about the fact that she lives in a diet-obsessed world with a body that will never age, never die, and never change. Can she learn to love the (plus size) woman she'll be forever more?
My Thoughts: I am not sure why the low GR rating as I thought this was a wonderful book. I did both the ebook and audio and it was fantastic. The narrator really did the voices amazingly and brought flare to the characters, immersing you into the moment. Part fantasy, part romance, and full vampire, just in time for Halloween! The book is reflective of body positivity and the struggles a person can have when their self worth is measured in appearance. I think Duke does a good job bringing positivity to body size and delivers an important message, it is important to not only stand in your truth but love yourself, no matter your size. Duke also brings the humor, there were times that I laughed out loud. Now I understand this book would not be for everyone but I loved it. The characters were developed well with depth, witty banter, mad chemistry, and creatively built throughout the story. Lilly is a fantastic heroine with sarcasm and kindness. While our hero, Tristin, is the perfect handsome and hot hero. The author’s writing style is complex, funny, connective, and kept me engaged throughout the story. I really hope this turns into a series as I would love to see the romance bloom between Evan and Kat. I highly recommend preordering the audiobook on this one!
June 29, 2022
This book has: strangers to lovers, a plus size heroine, and a beautiful journey to embracing body positivity!
This book was SO much fun and I devoured it in a single day. I’m a Twilight girl at heart so when I see a contemporary romance featuring vampires, I automatically hit request now!
Lily Baines, our wonderful heroine, wakes up after a night out to discover that she’s got more than a hangover. Lily is now a vampire and she has no recollection of the night before. When Lily regains her memories, she remembers Tristan Newberry, the handsome man she met at the bar the night before who ended the night by biting her.
While I enjoyed the romance between Lily and Tristan, my favourite part of this book was seeing Lily’s journey to body positivity and self-acceptance. Throughout the book, Lily struggles with body image issues and is constantly comparing herself to her thinner friends. Lily learns to be kinder to herself and I especially loved how she noted that body positivity is a long process, not just something that happens overnight.
Overall, this book was an absolute joy to read and I’m hoping the author turns it into a series so we can see more of Evan and Cat!
3.5 stars
Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
This book was SO much fun and I devoured it in a single day. I’m a Twilight girl at heart so when I see a contemporary romance featuring vampires, I automatically hit request now!
Lily Baines, our wonderful heroine, wakes up after a night out to discover that she’s got more than a hangover. Lily is now a vampire and she has no recollection of the night before. When Lily regains her memories, she remembers Tristan Newberry, the handsome man she met at the bar the night before who ended the night by biting her.
While I enjoyed the romance between Lily and Tristan, my favourite part of this book was seeing Lily’s journey to body positivity and self-acceptance. Throughout the book, Lily struggles with body image issues and is constantly comparing herself to her thinner friends. Lily learns to be kinder to herself and I especially loved how she noted that body positivity is a long process, not just something that happens overnight.
Overall, this book was an absolute joy to read and I’m hoping the author turns it into a series so we can see more of Evan and Cat!
3.5 stars
Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
September 30, 2022
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for giving me a review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I was so excited about this book because it screamed rom-com vampire book and the character on the cover was not a straight-size. But I honestly couldn't get through this book without rolling my eyes with the narrative voice. She used short-term slang like "perf" and "obvi" and literally typed out BFF. I loved the plot with the vampires and and everything, but the ending was.. lacking.. a lot.
I think honestly I just expected a lot more from this book and I am just sad that I didn't enjoy it to my expectations.
I was so excited about this book because it screamed rom-com vampire book and the character on the cover was not a straight-size. But I honestly couldn't get through this book without rolling my eyes with the narrative voice. She used short-term slang like "perf" and "obvi" and literally typed out BFF. I loved the plot with the vampires and and everything, but the ending was.. lacking.. a lot.
I think honestly I just expected a lot more from this book and I am just sad that I didn't enjoy it to my expectations.
October 2, 2022
I really enjoyed this for the most part.
It's a cool concept, but Lily's self deprecation is maddening.
I realize no one is self assured 100% of the time, but this is fiction.
Fiction is where the MC's are supposed to be super confident and sexy and show us all the things we can be. I don't want to feel like a bag of shit while reading about a plus size character (who is smaller than me) constantly uncomfortable in their own skin.
This was a huge problem for me and why 2 stars are knocked off.
Much love to NetGalley & Dreamscape Media f0r my DRC.
It's a cool concept, but Lily's self deprecation is maddening.
I realize no one is self assured 100% of the time, but this is fiction.
Fiction is where the MC's are supposed to be super confident and sexy and show us all the things we can be. I don't want to feel like a bag of shit while reading about a plus size character (who is smaller than me) constantly uncomfortable in their own skin.
This was a huge problem for me and why 2 stars are knocked off.
Much love to NetGalley & Dreamscape Media f0r my DRC.
August 1, 2024
⭐️⭐️
Honestly, this just felt too rushed. Lily is always stating every 2 minutes how she hates her curvy body, and is always fighting and arguing with Tristan when all he’s doing is trying to keep her safe. Yes a lot of it has to do with her own insecurities but it really didn’t need to be mentioned every sentence. She was so annoying IMO.
Tristan however, was such a gentleman and it was so cute how he didn’t know modern day to day things (he was 400 years old). Definitely didn’t deserve all of the shit Lily did.
The ending was way too fast paced… The whole entire plot was Lily telling Tristan to fuck off, but then she loves him after A WEEK???? Make it make sense. It was just all over the place. Again didn’t DNF, solely based on the Twilight references
Honestly, this just felt too rushed. Lily is always stating every 2 minutes how she hates her curvy body, and is always fighting and arguing with Tristan when all he’s doing is trying to keep her safe. Yes a lot of it has to do with her own insecurities but it really didn’t need to be mentioned every sentence. She was so annoying IMO.
Tristan however, was such a gentleman and it was so cute how he didn’t know modern day to day things (he was 400 years old). Definitely didn’t deserve all of the shit Lily did.
The ending was way too fast paced… The whole entire plot was Lily telling Tristan to fuck off, but then she loves him after A WEEK???? Make it make sense. It was just all over the place. Again didn’t DNF, solely based on the Twilight references
June 17, 2022
okay so i have lots of thoughts on this book....
i've wanted to read this book for a while so when i saw that i got approved on netgalley for an arc i was so excited. unfortunately, i did not enjoy this book. first off, the writing was the main thing that did not work for me. i felt that it was choppy and i could not stand the phrases used in this book like 'lets get ready to slay', 'i would like to binge him like pasta. or netflix. or pasta and netflix', 'sounding like a meme' and the abbreviations like 'BFF', 'FYI', etc. the phases made me cringe and it made me feel even more detached from the characters. also i'm just not a huge fan of using abbreviations like that in books so often.
now the characters. it's not like i didnt like lily, i just feel indifferent towards her. i didnt like or dislike her, sometimes i found she was funny but sometimes i found her annoying. most of the times though she was just there and i didnt feel anything positive or negative towards her. i did really enjoy readings about her body positivity journey and i thought that this was very well done and accurate. the one character i did not like was Tristan, the love interest. honestly, i found him slightly misogynistic with his views from in the past and stuff and it was incredibly annoying to read about. i understand hes like 400 years old but i dont understand how he thinks lily needs his protection all the time like she cant take care of herself. very weird. additionally, i did not like their relationship. i felt it was very forced and wayyyy too insta-lovey for me to believe that they were in love with each other. also the fact that they only knew each other for a few days and were falling in love with each other? very unrealistic and i felt it went way too fast.
the pacing was also a little meh for me. the beginning started off strong, but then it got kind of dragged on and boring in the middle and then the end wrapped up way too quickly. i think this would have been better if the ending was extended for longer because everything would have wrapped up nicely.
thank you netgalley for giving me an arc of this book in exchange for an honest review.
i've wanted to read this book for a while so when i saw that i got approved on netgalley for an arc i was so excited. unfortunately, i did not enjoy this book. first off, the writing was the main thing that did not work for me. i felt that it was choppy and i could not stand the phrases used in this book like 'lets get ready to slay', 'i would like to binge him like pasta. or netflix. or pasta and netflix', 'sounding like a meme' and the abbreviations like 'BFF', 'FYI', etc. the phases made me cringe and it made me feel even more detached from the characters. also i'm just not a huge fan of using abbreviations like that in books so often.
now the characters. it's not like i didnt like lily, i just feel indifferent towards her. i didnt like or dislike her, sometimes i found she was funny but sometimes i found her annoying. most of the times though she was just there and i didnt feel anything positive or negative towards her. i did really enjoy readings about her body positivity journey and i thought that this was very well done and accurate. the one character i did not like was Tristan, the love interest. honestly, i found him slightly misogynistic with his views from in the past and stuff and it was incredibly annoying to read about. i understand hes like 400 years old but i dont understand how he thinks lily needs his protection all the time like she cant take care of herself. very weird. additionally, i did not like their relationship. i felt it was very forced and wayyyy too insta-lovey for me to believe that they were in love with each other. also the fact that they only knew each other for a few days and were falling in love with each other? very unrealistic and i felt it went way too fast.
the pacing was also a little meh for me. the beginning started off strong, but then it got kind of dragged on and boring in the middle and then the end wrapped up way too quickly. i think this would have been better if the ending was extended for longer because everything would have wrapped up nicely.
thank you netgalley for giving me an arc of this book in exchange for an honest review.
September 1, 2022
3.5 Stars
So, it looks like we MIGHT ( I sort of hope so!) have a new series going on here.
Perfect for Halloween lovers and those who loved the Undead and Twilight series.
This book started a tad rocky for me. It seemed to be a rip-off from MaryJanice Davidson's first Undead novel,
, and, the more I read the more I recognized from the Undead series. When I really got into this book, I felt that this was more of a satire using all of the 1990's popular vampire books as the butt of the joke.
I got a few good chuckles at the beginning of this book (maybe even some guffaws!), but with the over-indulgence of Lily obsessing about her body image, her use of outdated colloquialisms, and her constant foul language, ugh! I mean, how many times can you use the abbreviation 'obvi' and not annoy people? In this book, it's used 25 times! It sort of reminded some of when J.D. Robb used the abbreviation of 'anal' for analyze/analysis!
Then add in her sexual obsession with Tristan, and I found myself rolling my eyes so often that I nearly popped them out of my sockets! The scenes were good but not overdone.
However, I stuck it out, and I'm glad I did. It did have a great ending, Lily learns some valuable self-image lessons, and I do believe that If there is a next book, I will be reading it - IF the author promises to tone down on the "legit' and 'obvi'!
*ARC was supplied by the publisher Sourcebooks/Casablanca, the author, and NetGalley.
So, it looks like we MIGHT ( I sort of hope so!) have a new series going on here.
Perfect for Halloween lovers and those who loved the Undead and Twilight series.
This book started a tad rocky for me. It seemed to be a rip-off from MaryJanice Davidson's first Undead novel,
, and, the more I read the more I recognized from the Undead series. When I really got into this book, I felt that this was more of a satire using all of the 1990's popular vampire books as the butt of the joke.I got a few good chuckles at the beginning of this book (maybe even some guffaws!), but with the over-indulgence of Lily obsessing about her body image, her use of outdated colloquialisms, and her constant foul language, ugh! I mean, how many times can you use the abbreviation 'obvi' and not annoy people? In this book, it's used 25 times! It sort of reminded some of when J.D. Robb used the abbreviation of 'anal' for analyze/analysis!
Then add in her sexual obsession with Tristan, and I found myself rolling my eyes so often that I nearly popped them out of my sockets! The scenes were good but not overdone.
However, I stuck it out, and I'm glad I did. It did have a great ending, Lily learns some valuable self-image lessons, and I do believe that If there is a next book, I will be reading it - IF the author promises to tone down on the "legit' and 'obvi'!
*ARC was supplied by the publisher Sourcebooks/Casablanca, the author, and NetGalley.
September 8, 2022
When Life Gives You Vampires definitely makes my top five 'cool concepts of the year' list: a plus size 25 year old gets turned into a vampire - accidentally - and has to deal with being stuck in that body... forever. The execution is rough, however, which makes me quite bummed.
This is a book that features a lot of elder millennial themes, like body positivity, dealing with misogyny, overbearing mothers, Twilight, memes/millennial-style language, and consent. There are a lot of things we could cover about why this didn't work for me, but I'd like to talk about consent.
For all the fun there is in this book, I think it's glossed over here that a woman is turned into a vampire without consent, he's a creep/misogynist, and she still falls in love with him because he is handsome and convinces her she is beautiful at her size. Oh, and totally without consent, he wipes her memory, so it's a bit of a mystery for her figuring this all out. And.... it turns out he's wiped her friend's memory, too.
I cannot recommend a book with a cover and description like this to folks, without them knowing what they are getting into. Sadly, this was a DNF for me.
My thanks to Gloria Duke, Sourcebooks Casablanca, and NetGalley for an eARC in exchange for an honest review.
CW: Eating disorders, dieting, body image, misogyny, kidnapping, parental nagging of weight, consent.
This is a book that features a lot of elder millennial themes, like body positivity, dealing with misogyny, overbearing mothers, Twilight, memes/millennial-style language, and consent. There are a lot of things we could cover about why this didn't work for me, but I'd like to talk about consent.
For all the fun there is in this book, I think it's glossed over here that a woman is turned into a vampire without consent, he's a creep/misogynist, and she still falls in love with him because he is handsome and convinces her she is beautiful at her size. Oh, and totally without consent, he wipes her memory, so it's a bit of a mystery for her figuring this all out. And.... it turns out he's wiped her friend's memory, too.
I cannot recommend a book with a cover and description like this to folks, without them knowing what they are getting into. Sadly, this was a DNF for me.
My thanks to Gloria Duke, Sourcebooks Casablanca, and NetGalley for an eARC in exchange for an honest review.
CW: Eating disorders, dieting, body image, misogyny, kidnapping, parental nagging of weight, consent.
November 30, 2023
Kulturalny wampir Edward pytający o zgodę na dokonanie przemiany drugiej osoby + źli Volturi
January 23, 2023
If you've ever woken up hungover with no recollection of the prior night's shenanigans, them you can probably relate to main character, Lily Baines, as her story begins. Lily soon realizes this is nonordinary hangover, though. She slept through the entire day, has an insatiable thirst for blood and her reflection seems to have disappeared. Obviously, she immediately turns to her Twilight-obsessed BFF, Cat for answers and ideas for satisfying her baby vampire thirst.
Once Cat, a local Red Cross volunteer, hooks Lily up with some recently expired donated blood (it's like day-old bread - perfect!), she suddenly remembers everything from the night before, including her gorgeous, brooding sire, Tristan. It turns out, he hadn't meant to turn Lily, only to drink from her (with her consent, of course). Once Lily finds him again, she learns that they are both in serious danger as it's against vampire law to create new vampires without approval from the Vampire Council. The pair must team up to save their lives and maybe even find a little romance along the way!
I loved the witty banter and Twilight references in this book - I thought it was a super cute Enemies to Lovers romance with a supernatural twist!
There is some controversy around this book as Lily is a plus-sized heroine, doomed to remain her current size for all eternity. Some criticize this book and it's main character as fat-phobic. I think it's ok for everyone to have their own opinion on this topic - we can't help what topics may trigger us based on our past experiences and trauma. For me, as a mid-sized woman who has struggled with her weight off and on my entire adult life, I found Lily's struggles to be super relateable and realistic. For example, her tricks for fending off hunger (i.e. drinking tons of water before going out) are things I've tried over the years. Lily did grow to love herself by the end of the book and I loved the conclusion as I have also accepted who I am in recent years.
Once Cat, a local Red Cross volunteer, hooks Lily up with some recently expired donated blood (it's like day-old bread - perfect!), she suddenly remembers everything from the night before, including her gorgeous, brooding sire, Tristan. It turns out, he hadn't meant to turn Lily, only to drink from her (with her consent, of course). Once Lily finds him again, she learns that they are both in serious danger as it's against vampire law to create new vampires without approval from the Vampire Council. The pair must team up to save their lives and maybe even find a little romance along the way!
I loved the witty banter and Twilight references in this book - I thought it was a super cute Enemies to Lovers romance with a supernatural twist!
There is some controversy around this book as Lily is a plus-sized heroine, doomed to remain her current size for all eternity. Some criticize this book and it's main character as fat-phobic. I think it's ok for everyone to have their own opinion on this topic - we can't help what topics may trigger us based on our past experiences and trauma. For me, as a mid-sized woman who has struggled with her weight off and on my entire adult life, I found Lily's struggles to be super relateable and realistic. For example, her tricks for fending off hunger (i.e. drinking tons of water before going out) are things I've tried over the years. Lily did grow to love herself by the end of the book and I loved the conclusion as I have also accepted who I am in recent years.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 9, 2024
A fun paranormal rom com with hints of action film wrapped in! A full-figured gal meets a hot guy in a bar only to wake up thinking that she has the worst hangover in history only to realize that she has somehow become a vampire! Hard to believe especially when she didn't believe in vampires and other supernatural beings in the first place. An original meet-cute, that is not so cute after all! Interesting characters, well developed story line with an underlying theme of love yourself as you are. The only critic I have is of the main character's obsessive hang-up with her weight/looks and not feeling like she is enough. While it is a completely realistic and valid representation of many women not feeling like they are enough as they are, it does add weight to an otherwise fluffy and fun rom com. I like the reality being wrapped into the fantasy of the paranormal rom com, but I could see where it could be a bit much for someone who doesn't have body issues or self-esteem issues. I'm assuming that those type of people exist. The narrator of the book did a great job of bringing the characters and storyline to life and I definitely enjoyed listening to it! I look forward to finding more books from this author in the future!
September 8, 2022
4.5 rounded up
Bring on more Vampire romances like this one!! It seems like there's a TON of witchy romances (and I'm not complaining) but the era of vampire romances feels like a thing of the past almost. This book was HILARIOUS and such refreshing fun with a great focus on body positivity and self-acceptance.
Lily is your average plus sized 25-year-old until she wakes up one morning realizing she's not just hung over but has somehow become a vampire! What follows is her learning more about what her new life is going to look like, getting to know (and slowly fall for) Tristan, the vampire who accidentally turned her and finding a way to accept that her body is never going to change now that she's immortal.
This book exceeded all my expectations! Perfect for fans of Olivia Dade or Julie Murphy and anyone nostalgic for an updated, more modern Anne Rice like story. I also got strong Buffy and iZombie vibes reading this book! Great on audio too. Much thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for my early digital copy in exchange for my honest review!
CW: toxic parental relationship, fatphobia, body-shaming, negative self-talk
Bring on more Vampire romances like this one!! It seems like there's a TON of witchy romances (and I'm not complaining) but the era of vampire romances feels like a thing of the past almost. This book was HILARIOUS and such refreshing fun with a great focus on body positivity and self-acceptance.
Lily is your average plus sized 25-year-old until she wakes up one morning realizing she's not just hung over but has somehow become a vampire! What follows is her learning more about what her new life is going to look like, getting to know (and slowly fall for) Tristan, the vampire who accidentally turned her and finding a way to accept that her body is never going to change now that she's immortal.
This book exceeded all my expectations! Perfect for fans of Olivia Dade or Julie Murphy and anyone nostalgic for an updated, more modern Anne Rice like story. I also got strong Buffy and iZombie vibes reading this book! Great on audio too. Much thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for my early digital copy in exchange for my honest review!
CW: toxic parental relationship, fatphobia, body-shaming, negative self-talk
October 31, 2022
This was such a fun read for #SpookySeason! It was an amusing and solid debut from Duke and I found the plot quite intriguing!
I throughly enjoyed the plus size representation and all the body positivity messaging! While the industry as a whole has been getting better at this, I still think there’s lots of room for growth so I applaud Duke for making this so central to the story!
While this certainly wasn’t a favourite of mine, it’s definitely still an entertaining paranormal romance that makes for a great seasonal read!
I throughly enjoyed the plus size representation and all the body positivity messaging! While the industry as a whole has been getting better at this, I still think there’s lots of room for growth so I applaud Duke for making this so central to the story!
While this certainly wasn’t a favourite of mine, it’s definitely still an entertaining paranormal romance that makes for a great seasonal read!
October 16, 2022
We need to stop using lack of confidence in one's body as a plot device.
We need to stop writing larger women as self-deprecating and feeling second-tier to their smaller bestie.
The saving feature of this was the references to pop-culture.
We need to stop writing larger women as self-deprecating and feeling second-tier to their smaller bestie.
The saving feature of this was the references to pop-culture.
June 10, 2025
I understand the reviews about the fmc hating her weight. I feel that it had a happy ending in regard to that topic. Low self esteem is a hard thing to deal w/ & Lily’s final acceptance of herself was positive. I thought it was a fun & engaging read. I liked the quick flow of the book. Already order the 2nd one.
October 29, 2022
“My name is Lily Baines. I’m twenty-five years old. I live on Bleecker Street in the West Village. I work as an overnight web editor… And apparently, I’m a f*cking vampire.”
When Life Gives You Vampires is a fun paranormal romantic comedy debut from Gloria Duke.
When Lily wakes up with little memory of the night before, she’s stunned to find she has fangs and no reflection. It takes prompting, and a bag of blood, from her best friend, Cat, to remember the gorgeous guy, Tristan, she went home with from their local bar, and biting his earlobe in retaliation when he unexpectedly sank his teeth into her neck. As far as Lily can see, they’re aren’t any upsides to becoming a vampire -she can’t go out in the sun, she’ll outlive her friends and family, will have to scrounge for blood, and she will forever have a plus size body.
Lily is likeable enough, smart and funny, but with a negative self image due to being overweight. The promise of a body acceptance journey was what drew me to this novel because I don’t think I’ve ever seen a female vampire that was anything but svelte. I appreciated Duke’s attempt at that goal, and felt Lily did take some steps towards changing her negative view of herself and recognising how it affected her relationships.
The romance between Lily and Tristan is a not particularly convincing, though Lily’s lust felt sincere at least. I think mainly because they don’t spend a lot of time together so there isn’t the opportunity for chemistry to develop, and though we get some background on Tristan, including that he is a bestselling romance novelist which I loved, I didn’t feel his personality was well defined.
Conflict between Lily, Tristan and the leader of the Vampire Council with a grudge that threatens both their lives provides some suspense and action. As does Lily being stalked by a newbie vampire hunter she feels kind of responsible for.
I did enjoy the author’s blunt, sarcastic and sometimes sweary sense of humour, and Duke’s experience as a sitcom writer shows in her dynamic dialogue. However, one thing that struck me as odd was the reference to Tristan looking like ‘Clint Eastwood and Indiana Jones had a superhot baby’. I doubt that’s a reference anyone younger than Gen X would be able to visualise, and it fits uncomfortably with mentions of Twilight, and the use of terms like ‘obvi’.
I enjoyed the distraction When Life Gives You Vampires offered. With the loose ends remaining at the end of the book Duke obviously has hopes for a continuing series. Light and funny, I think the potential is there.
When Life Gives You Vampires is a fun paranormal romantic comedy debut from Gloria Duke.
When Lily wakes up with little memory of the night before, she’s stunned to find she has fangs and no reflection. It takes prompting, and a bag of blood, from her best friend, Cat, to remember the gorgeous guy, Tristan, she went home with from their local bar, and biting his earlobe in retaliation when he unexpectedly sank his teeth into her neck. As far as Lily can see, they’re aren’t any upsides to becoming a vampire -she can’t go out in the sun, she’ll outlive her friends and family, will have to scrounge for blood, and she will forever have a plus size body.
Lily is likeable enough, smart and funny, but with a negative self image due to being overweight. The promise of a body acceptance journey was what drew me to this novel because I don’t think I’ve ever seen a female vampire that was anything but svelte. I appreciated Duke’s attempt at that goal, and felt Lily did take some steps towards changing her negative view of herself and recognising how it affected her relationships.
The romance between Lily and Tristan is a not particularly convincing, though Lily’s lust felt sincere at least. I think mainly because they don’t spend a lot of time together so there isn’t the opportunity for chemistry to develop, and though we get some background on Tristan, including that he is a bestselling romance novelist which I loved, I didn’t feel his personality was well defined.
Conflict between Lily, Tristan and the leader of the Vampire Council with a grudge that threatens both their lives provides some suspense and action. As does Lily being stalked by a newbie vampire hunter she feels kind of responsible for.
I did enjoy the author’s blunt, sarcastic and sometimes sweary sense of humour, and Duke’s experience as a sitcom writer shows in her dynamic dialogue. However, one thing that struck me as odd was the reference to Tristan looking like ‘Clint Eastwood and Indiana Jones had a superhot baby’. I doubt that’s a reference anyone younger than Gen X would be able to visualise, and it fits uncomfortably with mentions of Twilight, and the use of terms like ‘obvi’.
I enjoyed the distraction When Life Gives You Vampires offered. With the loose ends remaining at the end of the book Duke obviously has hopes for a continuing series. Light and funny, I think the potential is there.
October 15, 2022
DNF at 66%
I cannot understate how much I disliked this book. I tried so very hard to get past my initial reservations with the overall style, but unfortunately, I wasn’t able to. I first saw the cover art for this book back in late 2021, so it’s been on my radar for a very long time and I was excited to read and love this, but I just couldn’t.
The most egregious thing was this author’s writing style - I wasn’t meshing with it at all. I saw another review say that it sounded like “elder millennial speak,” and now I can’t stop thinking about that. The tone is extremely conversational, which wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, but it’s presented callously and without any finesse. A lot of sentences start with “FYI”, “Obvi,” or “Let me break this down for you,” instead of actually sharing. There is a scene where the main character, Lily, is in a meeting and instead of writing out the meeting, the author just starts a new chapter and says, “Okay, so I’m not going to make you sit through the rest of our meeting. All you really need to know is…” and fills in the blanks. This goes straight back to “showing” and not “telling” the readers what you’re thinking. Something will also happen to Lily in one chapter and then she’ll recount it to her best friend or to the love interest, Tristan, in the next - we just read that, we don’t need to see it again.
Lily’s whole schtick is that she’s fat and doesn’t love her body - which normally, I love to see in romances, especially, because it provides excellent room for character development. The problem is, the fat rep and body positivity is not done well at all and feels more harmful than good. Lily hates herself and that, in turn, makes her bitter and angry to all other women, even her best friend. There’s a moment where Lily’s friend Cat mentions how Lily makes her feel shitty about being thin and that she has problems too (after the author spends multiple paragraphs talking about how Cat is perfect and has no problems), but the whole scene reeks of “but not ALL thin people are happy…” I found the ways that Lily and her mother talked about her body to be extremely harmful, and I found the dieting representation to also be toxic. Tristan is shown to “love” Lily’s body, but all of their attraction is superficial and you can’t believe any of their connection to be real.
This is more minor, but I also really disliked the vampire lore in this book. It’s just your standard Nosferatu rules: no sunlight, no reflection, stake through the heart, etc. There are a lot of vampire stories out there - if you want yours to be impactful, you’ve got to actually do something with it instead of say the same things over and over. With fantastical settings, you’re given the perfect opportunity to build memory points and this does none of that. Instead, it relies on best friend Cat to recap all of Twilight NUMEROUS TIMES to Lily…because that’s helpful. The only “unique” thing is that you can request consent to bite a human using the vampire thrall, but that never worked on Lily - so she was non-consensually turned into a vampire. It just feels gross.
At the end of the day, I just couldn’t bring myself to care about this story any longer. I could have probably pushed through and finished it, but why would I finish something that I’m ACTIVELY disliking. I’m so disappointed that this one didn’t end up working for me, but I can’t recommend this, nor do I think I’ll pick up another book by this author again.
Thank you so much to Netgalley and Sourcebooks for the advanced copy - I’m sorry I didn’t love this one!
I cannot understate how much I disliked this book. I tried so very hard to get past my initial reservations with the overall style, but unfortunately, I wasn’t able to. I first saw the cover art for this book back in late 2021, so it’s been on my radar for a very long time and I was excited to read and love this, but I just couldn’t.
The most egregious thing was this author’s writing style - I wasn’t meshing with it at all. I saw another review say that it sounded like “elder millennial speak,” and now I can’t stop thinking about that. The tone is extremely conversational, which wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, but it’s presented callously and without any finesse. A lot of sentences start with “FYI”, “Obvi,” or “Let me break this down for you,” instead of actually sharing. There is a scene where the main character, Lily, is in a meeting and instead of writing out the meeting, the author just starts a new chapter and says, “Okay, so I’m not going to make you sit through the rest of our meeting. All you really need to know is…” and fills in the blanks. This goes straight back to “showing” and not “telling” the readers what you’re thinking. Something will also happen to Lily in one chapter and then she’ll recount it to her best friend or to the love interest, Tristan, in the next - we just read that, we don’t need to see it again.
Lily’s whole schtick is that she’s fat and doesn’t love her body - which normally, I love to see in romances, especially, because it provides excellent room for character development. The problem is, the fat rep and body positivity is not done well at all and feels more harmful than good. Lily hates herself and that, in turn, makes her bitter and angry to all other women, even her best friend. There’s a moment where Lily’s friend Cat mentions how Lily makes her feel shitty about being thin and that she has problems too (after the author spends multiple paragraphs talking about how Cat is perfect and has no problems), but the whole scene reeks of “but not ALL thin people are happy…” I found the ways that Lily and her mother talked about her body to be extremely harmful, and I found the dieting representation to also be toxic. Tristan is shown to “love” Lily’s body, but all of their attraction is superficial and you can’t believe any of their connection to be real.
This is more minor, but I also really disliked the vampire lore in this book. It’s just your standard Nosferatu rules: no sunlight, no reflection, stake through the heart, etc. There are a lot of vampire stories out there - if you want yours to be impactful, you’ve got to actually do something with it instead of say the same things over and over. With fantastical settings, you’re given the perfect opportunity to build memory points and this does none of that. Instead, it relies on best friend Cat to recap all of Twilight NUMEROUS TIMES to Lily…because that’s helpful. The only “unique” thing is that you can request consent to bite a human using the vampire thrall, but that never worked on Lily - so she was non-consensually turned into a vampire. It just feels gross.
At the end of the day, I just couldn’t bring myself to care about this story any longer. I could have probably pushed through and finished it, but why would I finish something that I’m ACTIVELY disliking. I’m so disappointed that this one didn’t end up working for me, but I can’t recommend this, nor do I think I’ll pick up another book by this author again.
Thank you so much to Netgalley and Sourcebooks for the advanced copy - I’m sorry I didn’t love this one!
October 4, 2022
If I am an undead creature of the night and still have to think about my weight, I will walk out into sunlight immediately.
I kind of preferred when she was getting all of her vampire knowledge from YA novels vs Tristan filling him as he saw fit.
She has absolutely no self preservation instinct at all. He gave her keys and told her to run and she sat on the couch and then walked right into danger despite not having weapons or any defensive skills.
I did feel like this book had every unkind and unproductive thought I’ve ever had about my body was written down and I didn’t like it. She shed her insecurity all over her social circle but this whole storyline made me sad.
The other thing that made me the saddest about this book was that there was a well adjusted plus sized woman from her past who was completely genuine, seemed lovely, and was comfortable with her body and life. She was a complete foil to the main character in this. WHY did this woman have to have something happen to her? It was wrong for this story and I will die mad about it.
The narrator sounded like Anna Kendrick though and she did a great job. ❤️
Thank you to Netgalley, Dreamscape Media, and Sourcebooks Casablanca for a copy in exchange for an honest review. My opinions are my own.
I kind of preferred when she was getting all of her vampire knowledge from YA novels vs Tristan filling him as he saw fit.
She has absolutely no self preservation instinct at all. He gave her keys and told her to run and she sat on the couch and then walked right into danger despite not having weapons or any defensive skills.
I did feel like this book had every unkind and unproductive thought I’ve ever had about my body was written down and I didn’t like it. She shed her insecurity all over her social circle but this whole storyline made me sad.
The other thing that made me the saddest about this book was that there was a well adjusted plus sized woman from her past who was completely genuine, seemed lovely, and was comfortable with her body and life. She was a complete foil to the main character in this. WHY did this woman have to have something happen to her? It was wrong for this story and I will die mad about it.
The narrator sounded like Anna Kendrick though and she did a great job. ❤️
Thank you to Netgalley, Dreamscape Media, and Sourcebooks Casablanca for a copy in exchange for an honest review. My opinions are my own.
October 7, 2022
What a disaster disappointment. While I was looking for a book with a fat main character dealing with being unexpectedly turned into a vampire, what we actually got is a fat main character with so much internalized fat phobia, a piece of absolute garbage love interest, way too many freaking Twilight references, and just so much predictable cheesiness.
I mean I cannot get over this. How long ago did Twilight come out and why the hell is it being used as the main vampire media in a book published in 2022? Not to mention all of the outdated references and the weird text talk. Like no one says"obvi" or "irl" when they're actually speaking.
The sex was weird, the plot was weird, I was super super over all of the fat phobia and ultimately it is a hot hot mess. The ending is terrible. Honestly I can't believe that I wasted time listening to this book.
I mean I cannot get over this. How long ago did Twilight come out and why the hell is it being used as the main vampire media in a book published in 2022? Not to mention all of the outdated references and the weird text talk. Like no one says"obvi" or "irl" when they're actually speaking.
The sex was weird, the plot was weird, I was super super over all of the fat phobia and ultimately it is a hot hot mess. The ending is terrible. Honestly I can't believe that I wasted time listening to this book.
October 29, 2022
Although I enjoyed some elements of this, the writing style didn’t quite work for me and I didn’t feel much chemistry between the leads.
November 5, 2022
DNF @ 50%
I cant do this anymore.
Contemporary vampires don't work, atleast not in this. Idk you're gonna tell me they can't be in sunlight, have super jumping, but also can't get daylight rings like in TVD.
There's so much cringe, like her taking a break from work to drink blood in the bathroom and she calls her best friend saying she's "just having a snack" and her friend says "not on a girl, right?" Also this whole quote "It wouldn't be about me either. It wouldn't be about him wanting me, desiring me, choosing me." pick me. love me. choose me.
This tries to be a woke take on fatphobia and fat representation. MC flops between being confident and then extremely insecure. Every comment is a threat to her appearance, when it literally has nothing to do with that. He at one point says he approached her because he thought she was attractive and she's like "you just thought I was a easy target because I'm fat didn't you." She has a breakdown about being stuck in her current body now that she's turned a vampire, and I understand how upseting that could be if you're not confident in your body. She's upset about now no matter how much work she put into improving herself her body will not change. What's annoying about this is the chapter immediately following MMC meantions vampires don't need to eat human food but because of that you can eat as much as you want without gaining weight, feeling sick, etc. and she's just baffled by this information? but you literally just had this realization but in the opposite.
There's so much going on but nothing being fully fleshed out. Like a main one is her needing to feed, but she refuses to feed on humans (there's a whole consent message too that keeps coming up and it genuinely doesn't make sense). MMC offers his own vampire blood but warns that it will basically make her horny as hell and she will have sex with him after. so she has to give consent to sex if she wants to feed, but they're also putting it off. So why does she need to feed if she's surviving days without feeding fresh blood.
There's just... so much...
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher Dreamscape Media for the opportunity to listen and review this book in advance in exchange for an honest review.
I cant do this anymore.
Contemporary vampires don't work, atleast not in this. Idk you're gonna tell me they can't be in sunlight, have super jumping, but also can't get daylight rings like in TVD.
There's so much cringe, like her taking a break from work to drink blood in the bathroom and she calls her best friend saying she's "just having a snack" and her friend says "not on a girl, right?" Also this whole quote "It wouldn't be about me either. It wouldn't be about him wanting me, desiring me, choosing me." pick me. love me. choose me.
This tries to be a woke take on fatphobia and fat representation. MC flops between being confident and then extremely insecure. Every comment is a threat to her appearance, when it literally has nothing to do with that. He at one point says he approached her because he thought she was attractive and she's like "you just thought I was a easy target because I'm fat didn't you." She has a breakdown about being stuck in her current body now that she's turned a vampire, and I understand how upseting that could be if you're not confident in your body. She's upset about now no matter how much work she put into improving herself her body will not change. What's annoying about this is the chapter immediately following MMC meantions vampires don't need to eat human food but because of that you can eat as much as you want without gaining weight, feeling sick, etc. and she's just baffled by this information? but you literally just had this realization but in the opposite.
There's so much going on but nothing being fully fleshed out. Like a main one is her needing to feed, but she refuses to feed on humans (there's a whole consent message too that keeps coming up and it genuinely doesn't make sense). MMC offers his own vampire blood but warns that it will basically make her horny as hell and she will have sex with him after. so she has to give consent to sex if she wants to feed, but they're also putting it off. So why does she need to feed if she's surviving days without feeding fresh blood.
There's just... so much...
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher Dreamscape Media for the opportunity to listen and review this book in advance in exchange for an honest review.
October 12, 2023
3,5
"Ponieważ ucieczka nie wchodziła w rachubę, wybrałam walkę na jedyną dostępną modłę. Otworzywszy szeroko usta, pochyliłam głowę i użarłam go z całej siły. (...)
-Czekaj - przerywa mi Cat. (...) - Ugryzłaś wampira?
-No co, on zaczął - zaznaczam. - W dodatku bez pozwolenia. "
Rom com z wampirami. Ogólnie podobało mi się. Był romans ( z wampirem, który pisze romanse) i humor, bywały momenty gdy parskałam śmiechem. Autorka dużo czasu poświęciła na zmagania głównej bohaterki ze swoją wagą i jej przemiana i zaakceptowanie siebie odbyło się w okamgnieniu, ten cały proces zmiany myślenia został trochę za słabo opisany. Podobała mi się przedstawienie dynamiki relacji między główną bohaterką, a jej matką. Jak na debiut wyszło ok.
" Naprawdę masz zamiar pić to pudełkowe świństwo?
-Nie krytykuj mojej diety. - Odbieram mu torbę z przeterminowaną krwią i przyspieszam kroku. - Mówisz jak moja matka."
"Ponieważ ucieczka nie wchodziła w rachubę, wybrałam walkę na jedyną dostępną modłę. Otworzywszy szeroko usta, pochyliłam głowę i użarłam go z całej siły. (...)
-Czekaj - przerywa mi Cat. (...) - Ugryzłaś wampira?
-No co, on zaczął - zaznaczam. - W dodatku bez pozwolenia. "
Rom com z wampirami. Ogólnie podobało mi się. Był romans ( z wampirem, który pisze romanse) i humor, bywały momenty gdy parskałam śmiechem. Autorka dużo czasu poświęciła na zmagania głównej bohaterki ze swoją wagą i jej przemiana i zaakceptowanie siebie odbyło się w okamgnieniu, ten cały proces zmiany myślenia został trochę za słabo opisany. Podobała mi się przedstawienie dynamiki relacji między główną bohaterką, a jej matką. Jak na debiut wyszło ok.
" Naprawdę masz zamiar pić to pudełkowe świństwo?
-Nie krytykuj mojej diety. - Odbieram mu torbę z przeterminowaną krwią i przyspieszam kroku. - Mówisz jak moja matka."
October 19, 2023
Książka jest okej, serio. Do pośmiania się, do odpoczynku nad lekturą. Ma swój klimat, ale chyba bardziej myślę o tym w kategorii komedii romantycznej.
Niektóre wątki, takie jak ciałopozytywność, zostały poruszone odpowiednio, tak jak trzeba. Inne wątki - m.in wątek wampiryzmu, który był dla mnie super ważny - był traktowany trochę z mniejszym zaangażowaniem autorki w te tematy. Rozumiem ironię i fakt, że to nie miało być odtworzenie klasyki o wampirach, jednak wciąż mi brakowało trochę więcej deszczyku.
Pozycja zdecydowanie dla kogoś, kto potrzebuje się bardziej bawić na książce niz w nią szczególnie zagłębiać. Fajnie, że pokazano bohaterkę plus size jako kogoś, kto nie może nic w sobie zmienić, bo zwykle wampiry są piękne i młode, a bohaterka musi przejść drogę do samoakceptacji, bo innego wyjścia nie ma.
Niektóre wątki, takie jak ciałopozytywność, zostały poruszone odpowiednio, tak jak trzeba. Inne wątki - m.in wątek wampiryzmu, który był dla mnie super ważny - był traktowany trochę z mniejszym zaangażowaniem autorki w te tematy. Rozumiem ironię i fakt, że to nie miało być odtworzenie klasyki o wampirach, jednak wciąż mi brakowało trochę więcej deszczyku.
Pozycja zdecydowanie dla kogoś, kto potrzebuje się bardziej bawić na książce niz w nią szczególnie zagłębiać. Fajnie, że pokazano bohaterkę plus size jako kogoś, kto nie może nic w sobie zmienić, bo zwykle wampiry są piękne i młode, a bohaterka musi przejść drogę do samoakceptacji, bo innego wyjścia nie ma.
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