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Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment

3.81  ·  Rating details ·  40,338 ratings  ·  2,867 reviews
“Harvey offers surprising insights into the male mentality and gives women strategies for taming that unruly beast.”
Philadelphia Inquirer

“Women should listen to Steve Harvey when it comes to what a good man is about. Steve Harvey dispenses a lot of fabulous information about men.”
—Aretha Franklin

The #1 New York Times bestseller from the new guru of relationship advice, St
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Hardcover, 232 pages
Published January 27th 2009 by Amistad (first published January 1st 2009)
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Ravi Vishwanauth I can't get to read it either
I hate this 😡😡😡😡😡…more
I can't get to read it either
I hate this 😡😡😡😡😡(less)
Dennis As a man I'd be super thoughtful, surprises, and even corny shit like flowers, candles etc. That's just me, and real interest in a chick is shown in m…moreAs a man I'd be super thoughtful, surprises, and even corny shit like flowers, candles etc. That's just me, and real interest in a chick is shown in many many ways or not.

Bottom line though:

If you are a fine piece of ass and don't mind fucking often you are a keeper.(less)

Community Reviews

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Average rating 3.81  · 
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Reeka (BoundbyWords)
Nov 29, 2010 rated it did not like it
Ok so, I definitely have mixed feelings about this book. On one hand, I admire the fact that Steve Harvey gives it to you straight and without a TRACE of subtlety (or sugar-coating if you will), the reasons why the majority of men ARE the way they are, and why we, as women, are unknowingly encouraging them to continue bad habits. He made some very valid points, though I felt that many of them should ALREADY be obvious to woman everywhere (i.e. set standards for yourself, RESPECT yourself in orde ...more
Paula W
Mar 22, 2018 rated it did not like it
This book is complete crap.

Allow me to elaborate, please. Because I have lots to say.
*Disclaimer - a friend asked me to read this with her because she is single and “not sure what she is doing wrong”.
Girl, you aren’t doing anything wrong. And this is not the advice you need.*

Things I learned while reading this (and believe me when I say that most of these are direct quotes):
1.) Men are all very simple people and all basically think in a similar way.
2.) But only straight men. Gay men aren't men
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Sara
Feb 02, 2012 rated it did not like it
This book actually angered me quite a bit. It's a one-sided critique hammering away that women aren't happy in relationships because they are doing something wrong. It assumes that women are the ones who need to change in order to be happy in a relationship, as if men were perfect in their existence, and it is women who are still struggling to achieve that same level of perfection. Even when Harvey discusses men who treat women like dirt and use them for sex, he turns it around on women, claimin ...more
Ziyanda Xaso
Mar 09, 2012 rated it did not like it
I'm actually going to review this book as I read it. I actually find it very simplistic in dealing with relationships. Steve here deems men to be simple creatures who are all basically the same regardless of upbringing, culture or creed. He makes some really sweeping assumptions about both men and women. The fact that he assumes that all men are running some sort of game on us women tells me that he really does not have a broad view of people. To me the book sounds like the advice that a father ...more
Cristina Monica
Jan 04, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: self-help
I loved the movie inspired by the book and I enjoy listening to Steve Harvey talk about relationships so of course I had to give this a try eventually. What an entertaining and interesting book! Whether what is being said is true for most men or not, I still feel like I learned a lot and think differently about the opposite sex and how I should act with men and react to them.
Kathrynn
Apr 03, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: All Women Plan to Date Men
First read April 6, 2009:
A quick, easy read that wasn't as funny as I thought it was going to be. Mr. Harvey gives straight, common sense advice about men that could be used by teenage girls just beginning the dating cycle to women married/divorced with kids. Several of his examples are with divorced women with kids: when to introduce your kids to the man you are dating; if a man is truly interested in a long-term relationship he will make an effort to include your kids on dates, etc.

As for you
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Kristen
Apr 06, 2012 marked it as are-you-shitting-me
This is a movie now? Are you fucking kidding me? Sure, why wouldn't I take relationship advice from a some fourth-rate hack comedian whose greatest accomplishment is hosting Family Feud (which apparently wasn't canceled in 1989)? Clearly this guy is a relationship expert since he's been married three times himself, so who better to tell us women how to act right for our man. I especially like the casting of unapologetic woman beater Chris Brown for the movie.

Sadly I actually have a friend who o
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Judith
Jul 05, 2010 rated it did not like it
Shelves: hot-books
Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by comedian, Steve Harvey, is as simple as the title. Moreover, Harvey insists all men are simple, like him. Also, all women are complicated, nurturing, irrational beings, or if not, they should fake it so they can get a good man. According to this book, whenever a “real man” chats with a woman it is because he wants to sleep with her. Mr. Harvey compares dating to sport fishing: a woman who is too easy is a “throwback,” not a “keeper.” So, ladies, if you want t ...more
Amanda Roa
Jun 02, 2009 rated it did not like it
There are so many things wrong about the advice in this book. I mean, right off the bat, he admires his wife for giving up scuba diving because he is afraid something will happen to her. He actually applauds her for giving up something she loves to do. And what the hell is wrong with wearing a t-shirt to bed? My husband happens to think it's sexy. Follow the advice in this book and you'll find yourself back in the stone ages being drug to the man cave with a huge bump on your head. Not all men t ...more
Suzanne
Jul 16, 2009 rated it it was ok
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Kristen
Mar 02, 2009 rated it it was amazing
I saw this book being promoted on "Oprah" one afternoon (rarity, since I typically work until 5) and thought he made a lot of sense. So, I picked the book up and within 2 days I read it cover to cover. Excellent. I recommend it for any woman struggling with relationships with men. It brought a lot of clarity to what I have been going through and made me realize what to look for in men.
Miranda
Jun 03, 2012 rated it did not like it
I'm sorry to say this, but this book is a JOKE. The first half of the book, it acted like it was talking to smart women, telling women what drives men and how to make your man feel like a man. Then the second half was talking to dumb, easy girls, making sure they have standards for themselves and don't be clinging to a guy who has other women hanging on his other arm. It didn't flow into "this is what you need to do next" from the beginning.

Another thing he does, is has women making lists of ho
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Traveller
Apr 20, 2012 rated it did not like it
Just some more cliche'd rubbish spouted forth in order to make a few bucks.
Robin
Mar 13, 2009 rated it liked it
The best thing about this book was that when men saw me reading it, they would get ALL KINDS of bent outta shape. Seriously. I mean, they took it personally. That only made me want to get through it faster to see what the hell Steve was telling because men were nervous.

The first part of this book reads like a relationship manual from 1950. I understand where he's coming from, but I couldn't relate. My mind doesn't work that way. A friend of mine agreed that it did sound a little bit dateed, but
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Lilo
Jan 08, 2014 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: single girls and single women
Shelves: relationships
This book is a bit oldfashioned, and I don't agree with everything the author says. Still, it would not hurt girls and women to read it. Might make them think. Would make a great gift for a girl/woman who tends to get too cosy with a man at too early a stage of a new relationship.
Emilie Bertrand
Jan 14, 2013 rated it did not like it
Shelves: gave-up
It's the first time I write a real review of a book on this site, and I'm writing it because I'm so upset by this book.
It's totally not the kind of book I'd have thought about reading myself, but my best friend gave it to me as a gift (still don't understand why). I could't get beyond page 50. And if I got this far, it was only because I was on a train home and didn't have anything else to read. I actually wanted to give up at page 10.

What century does this guy think he's living in ? To sum up w
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Julia
Apr 30, 2020 rated it it was ok
I love Steve as a TV persona, but that was awfully sexist.
Cristal
Sep 21, 2013 rated it did not like it
This book is totally sexist and simple-minded. It's pretty upsetting to me that this is a best seller. In our capitalist world, it's exactly the sort of book that a publisher sees, think big money, and nothing more. It's so far from a good piece of literature, so far from a story or advice that has to and must be told, that I want to tear it up and throw it in the trash. (Not that I expected it to be Charles Dickens or anything.)

I read it on a friend's recommendation and out of curiosity. While
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Judith
Aug 30, 2009 rated it did not like it
Not since Mirabel Morgan published "Total Woman" in the 70's has there been such a load of fresh tripe. I know----the title should have clued me in, but a friend highly recommended it and I fell for it. Suffice it to say, most of the men I know do not think like this man. None of the women I know act like the ladies in this book. For example, Mr. Harvey describes the concept that men have a need to protect their wives, and uses the following illustration. His wife likes to scuba dive but he does ...more
Jennie
Dec 08, 2009 rated it did not like it
oh Mr. Harvey, I have some REAL issues with you.
I will admit, some of the information in here might be considered insightful (the whole Profess, Provide and Protect thing was interesting), most of it I felt like was just excuses for men to act like jackasses. I'm so sick of hearing "Well, that's just how men are." Shut it. Seriously. And sometimes he contradicts himself, like the "hold out for 90 days" thing comes about 70 pages after "if you don't give him 'the cookie' he's gonna cheat on you."
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Amee
May 12, 2011 rated it did not like it
Shelves: 2011, did-not-finish
While I'm sure there are some truths to what he is saying, I didn't like that he talked in absolutes. As if there was no gray area. Plus, he pretty much blames the woman if (actually, he says it's more likely to be when) the guy cheats. It must be that she's not doing something right, etc. I stopped reading at that point.
ريحانة
Mar 19, 2012 rated it did not like it
From the title, I expected the book to explore the wonders of the human brain and explain the difference between males and females.
After I finished the book, however, I couldn't remember anything related to the idea presented in the title. The author quoted it once, or maybe twice, without explaining his point any further.

I was very irritated by the author's style and language. He's definitely not a professional writer. If this was an e-book, the style would have gone unnoticed. But for a book,
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Kendra
Apr 07, 2009 rated it it was ok
Emily recommended this and I thought it was a fun and fast read with some good practical, old school advice. I didn't agree with every thing he said, but then, I'm a woman and he is advising me to think like a man.
أميــــرة
Jan 08, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Every woman

I've learned so much out of this book !

It was really amazing to discover the way men think. They're so simple & straightforward creatures.
You should understand that their love isn't like yours! They love through professing, protecting & providing. They want in return your support, loyalty and the cookie.

I recommend this book for every woman just to know how to handle stuff form the manhood's point of view.
The writer's language is so simple & you can finish the book so fast but it'd be better
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Camille
Dec 09, 2016 rated it liked it
Shelves: three-times-read
It was cute...

I listen to Steve Harvey's morning show quite often and the strawberry letters are my favorite part. (Second would be Nephew Tommys prank calls). What a lot of people need to realize about this book is this represents one man's OPINION. Not all men think this way. So using this as a guide would not be a good idea.

I read it as more of a comedic work, and in that lens it is actually quite entertaining.
Josie
Jan 29, 2011 rated it did not like it
Shelves: non-fiction
I almost feel like this book deserves a "fiction" tag. It was recommended by a friend, and not the sort of book I would normally pick up. I feel like most of the book was just a listing of stereotypes, most of which were demeaning to both men and women. Interspersed there was some good general knowledge (that might be helpful if you really were clueless). For instance, if after three months of dating exclusively your "man" still introduces you to friends and family as a friend, instead of girlfr ...more
Cydney
Feb 04, 2009 rated it really liked it
This book was right on time. Steve gives insight into the male mind and why guys do what they do. He cuts to the chase and informs females what to do to if you want to be a keeper. The book also allows you to realize the good traits that your guy has which helps you feel you're on the right track; other tidbits give you an idea of which areas of your relationship needs work. Overall, very good relationship advice novel that will give women info that they already know, but also good tips that the ...more
Stacey Peters
I don't understand why everyone thinks this is such a great book. While I found less than a half a dozen things to even smile about. I did find lots of stereotypical fluff and nonsense. If the author intended this book to be funny, he missed the boat. Its not. But if that's what you bought this book for, what a waste of both time and money. Because the alternative would be sad... advice???? I hope readers aren't using this sludge as groundbreaking, thought provoking or insightful advice. Its alm ...more
Doaa
May 05, 2012 rated it really liked it
First .. as Steve said :Every Woman have to read This book ! yes u have 2 do trust me ..
am Completely Impressed with this book .. and u'll do too..
every woman read this book 'll Shocked ' Learn 'Knows ..More and more about our life partners .. Men !!
The Author help us to Discover this world the manhood world .. find the big Differences btween woman and men in Love and in Expression and Dealing with some Matters of life !
As well he Talk about Relationships .. Simply How to enjoy a good relations
...more
Lisa
Jul 05, 2009 rated it did not like it
This book had some entertaining parts, but the unfounded generalizations and narrow-minded perspective killed it for me. If he is going to state something as fact, I guess I need a little more evidence than "my celebrity friends who are players/cheaters told me so." By the way, it appears that Steve Harvey has been divorced twice, married three times, and claims he was unfaithful because he is a "high power" man who wasn't getting what he needed at home. Now if only Oprah had required him to dis ...more
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Broderick Steven "Steve" Harvey is an American comedian, actor, entertainer, and radio personality.

He is probably best known as the star of the WB sitcom The Steve Harvey Show, and as one of the four comedians featured in the Spike Lee film The Original Kings of Comedy.

Currently, he is the host of The Steve Harve
...more

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“Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s love—it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you’ve acted out, no matter what crazy thing you’ve done, no matter the time or demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just aren’t any more words left to say, encourage you when you’re at rock bottom and think there just isn’t any way out, hold you in her arms when you’re sick, and laugh with you when you’re up. And if you’re her man and that woman loves you—I mean really loves you?—she will shine you up when you’re dusty, encourage you when you’re down, defend you even when she’s not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even when you’re not saying anything worth listening to. And no matter what you do, no matter how many times her friends say you’re no good, no matter how many times you slam the door on the relationship, she will give you her very best and then some, and keep right on trying to win over your heart, even when you act like everything she’s done to convince you she’s The One just isn’t good enough.
That’s a woman’s love—it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance. ”
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“All I'm telling you to do is to be smart about it. Know that if this man isn't looking for a serious relationship, you're not going to change his mind just because you two are going on dates and being intimate. You could be the most perfect woman on the Lord's green earth-you're capable of interesting conversation, you cook a mean breakfast, you hand out backrubs like sandwiches, you're independent (which means, to him, that you're not going to be in his pockets)-but if he's not ready for a serious relationship, he going to treat you like sports fish.” 1048 likes
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