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Darkness Was My Candle
Born into poverty and violence, Lora’s early life was one of extreme vulnerability. She was prostituted for the first time at the age of nine and suffered unspeakable treatment from those who should have protected her. The impact of this early trauma led to her institutionalization soon after she started college, an incarceration she would not have survived but for a courageous nurse who fought for her release. Fifty years later, after a long career as a successful mental health professional, and recognized as leading educator and sought-after public speaker, Lora revisited the grounds of the Illinois state mental hospital where she was once kept in inhumane, degrading, and life-threatening circumstances. This profound and compelling memoir traces her life as a survivor of child abuse, sex trafficking, illegal pharmacological drug research, and institutional abuse. Having experienced such horrifying and traumatic events, how did she survive? And to what purpose? Seeking the resolution to these unanswered questions, Lora’s experiences illuminate and validate the power of love and the strength of the indomitable human spirit that lives within each one of us. This is her story.
360 pages, Paperback
Published April 5, 2022
2 people are currently reading
28 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
October 11, 2022
I read this book sometimes crying sometimes in horror of what happened to Lora as a very young child. The abuse she lived through for so many years at the hands of people she should have trusted, although not unique to the situation sorry to say, is horrifying. I had a hard time getting through the book all at once and had to put it down a few times because the story was affecting me so much. I applaud this now brave woman for being able to get through what was the formative years of her life and come out of the other side. At times, the book was a little disjointed but so was my ability to approach it. Which is why it took so long to read and review. I received and ARC of this book but the opinions expressed here are strictly my own.
July 25, 2022
This had to be one of the most difficult books I have ever read. Not in terms of comprehension, but because the life story of author Lora DeVore was so utterly and completely unfathomable, that I was literally in disbelief reading the events of this woman’s life. This is a story about human suffering at its worst which begins with her birth to a woman that has no concept of love or any nurturing abilities as she was abused as a child. In turn, Lora’s mother makes her childhood unbearably vile because she only cared for herself and how she could bring in some cash money; money by exploiting her daughter. Lora was pushed into sexual relations by the time she was nine, and it continued throughout her teenage years. Her mom prostituted herself, and then in turn for more money by prostituting her daughter without any moral hesitation or remorse.
Once the secret of her forced sexual activity became known to the outside world, someone reported her mother to social services, and they were both ordered to seek counseling. A few weeks later this counselor who was to be Lora’s protector eventually forced her into a plethora of sexual situations just as her mother had. Sexual trafficking was abundant at many military bases with children as young as Lora, and her ‘therapist’ bullied her to perform sexual acts with multiple partners at these bases or she would face terrible retribution. Who could Lora trust?
The horrors this child endured over and over again made this a story unbearably hard to continue reading. But when it looked as if she may finally be able to break out of the cycle from her abusive mother, she was instituted for the mentally ill at Elgin State Hospital in Illinois for many years after a suicide attempt. She again endures rape, violence, neglect, and later on it is revealed she was also subjected to experimental drugs issued by the government unbeknownst to her. The mistreatment continues on into her married life and is the catalyst of her spiritual awakening later in the book. One would never believe that someone that had suffered so much, could become one of the most sought out motivational speakers of today. The latter half of the book is of Lora’s spiritual awakening and path to enlightenment, love and awareness.
“Changing this destructive inner narrative is essential to developing self-love and compassion, but it is no easy task. I have been the victim of a series of failures of the courts, violations by others, and institutional abuse throughout my life. Not understanding this, I saw these things through the lens of a child’s powerlessness and as my own failure. As a professional with thirty years' experience, I’ve learned the brilliance of fight, flight and freeze pattern built into all beings.” ~ Lora DeVore
I received a copy of this book which I voluntarily read and reviewed, and my comments are my honest opinion.
Once the secret of her forced sexual activity became known to the outside world, someone reported her mother to social services, and they were both ordered to seek counseling. A few weeks later this counselor who was to be Lora’s protector eventually forced her into a plethora of sexual situations just as her mother had. Sexual trafficking was abundant at many military bases with children as young as Lora, and her ‘therapist’ bullied her to perform sexual acts with multiple partners at these bases or she would face terrible retribution. Who could Lora trust?
The horrors this child endured over and over again made this a story unbearably hard to continue reading. But when it looked as if she may finally be able to break out of the cycle from her abusive mother, she was instituted for the mentally ill at Elgin State Hospital in Illinois for many years after a suicide attempt. She again endures rape, violence, neglect, and later on it is revealed she was also subjected to experimental drugs issued by the government unbeknownst to her. The mistreatment continues on into her married life and is the catalyst of her spiritual awakening later in the book. One would never believe that someone that had suffered so much, could become one of the most sought out motivational speakers of today. The latter half of the book is of Lora’s spiritual awakening and path to enlightenment, love and awareness.
“Changing this destructive inner narrative is essential to developing self-love and compassion, but it is no easy task. I have been the victim of a series of failures of the courts, violations by others, and institutional abuse throughout my life. Not understanding this, I saw these things through the lens of a child’s powerlessness and as my own failure. As a professional with thirty years' experience, I’ve learned the brilliance of fight, flight and freeze pattern built into all beings.” ~ Lora DeVore
I received a copy of this book which I voluntarily read and reviewed, and my comments are my honest opinion.
June 30, 2022
This is the story of Lora DeVore. The abuse started at a very early age and sadly by people who should have loved and protected her. It is a heartbreaking and disturbing story. The effects of the early trauma plagued her for years to come and severely impacted her life. If not for a nurse who fought for her the ending of this story would have been completely different. It is a story of survival, of courage and determination, of love and faith. It brings the issues of mental health and how it's treated to light. This is a beautifully written book and one that everyone needs to read.
July 25, 2022
The horror in these pages is real and I was compelled to keep reading till the very end. Lore tells a story of struggle but also of extreme strength. Constantly worn down it is amazing she has adapted. I normally don't read non-fiction, but this story captured my interest. I was interested in the light and how she lifted herself to better things. This book was definitely encouraging and uplifting to read. I would recommend it!
July 19, 2022
Warning, there are things in this story that is hard to read let alone actually have to survive from. I am just amazed of the courage of this woman. After everything she went through to go on and be such an inspiration to others, and to work in the field that caused her so much pain. A must-read story! I voluntarily reviewed an ARC of this book.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews