The Breaking Point

by Sue Shellenbarger

"[ The Breaking Point ] suggests that the national conversation is about to have a hot flash. The passage through middle age of so large a clump of women . . . guarantees that some rules may have to be rewritten and boundaries moved to accommodate them." ― Time magazine From the cover of Time to Desperate Housewives , the phenomenon of women in midlife experiencing a period of tumultuous personal upheaval―a breaking point―has reached a peak in our culture. Today, more than 15 million baby boomer women report having a midlife crisis compared to 14 million men. In The Breaking Point , Wall Street Journal columnist Sue Shellenbarger looks beyond the numbers to discover the root of all this angst and examine the ways, both successful and not, that women are navigating this crucial transition period.
Drawing on original research data and interviews with more than fifty women, The Breaking Point uses real-life stories to illustrate the different archetypes and modes the course of reinvention follows. The book also shows women how to avoid the pitfalls of a midlife meltdown―ruined relationships and jettisoned careers―and instead transform this turbulent time into a period of personal growth that will enrich the rest of their lives.
Once every decade or so a book comes along that defines the collective experience of an entire generation. Provocative, insightful, and resonant, The Breaking Point is just such a book. "Every once in a while you read a book that transforms you. Like the shift of a kaleidoscope, it reconfigures your view of life's journey. This is such a book. It may stimulate you to change directions, perhaps even enable you to find life's greatest fulfillment. An invigorating read."
―Helen Fisher, author of Why We Love "This catchy work is tailor-made for the 36 percent of women who will eventually have what they regard as midlife crises' . . . an illuminating guide." ― Publishers Weekly

Genres: Womens, Psychology, Nonfiction

288 pages, Paperback

First published April 6, 2005

Reviews

[Vicki Hill]

hey women in menopause...if you think you're going crazy...maybe your experiencing both menopause and a mid-life crisis....is that the definition of CRAZY? This book was really helpful to me in not feeling so alone on this "stinking journey" through mid-life...(the book was great while reading it...but your body still does what it wants to..and sometimes the mind follows:(

[Susie]

Sue Shellenbarger's daughter was at Catlin with David and played soccer with Emily - an incredible woman and this book is the result of interviews with "woman who had experienced a turbulent midlife transition at sometime between the ages of 38 and 55". Lots of insights.

[Sarah Buerger]

This was a very interesting look at how women address midlife. It's more complicated than buying a sportscar and finding a young boyfriend. I think most women will find themselves on at least one of the six archetypes: The Adventurer, The Lover, The Seeker, The Gardener, The Leader or The Artist

[Lily Sun]

Couldn't finish it. Feel very bored by it.

[Rick Rogers]

I read this book ONLY because an acquaintance wrote it. The title alone would have been enough for me to regurgitate rather than read. I definitely wouldn't want anyone to see me reading it or know that I had read it! However, the book was incredible. Sue is just a spectacular writer and once you read those first few pages, she's got you hooked! I couldn't put that damn book down. I read straight through it, which is something I've never done with a book that wasn't about real estate or LIRPs or wealth building or tax savings. Anyway, it was a lot of fun to read, even for a guy, and I have to admit, I learned a few things about women... which some women might tell you I sorely needed (although I would debate that!).

Thanks, Sue,

Rick

[Candice]

This was fine, though not mind blowing for me. I mostly skimmed beginning at about the middle of the book. Some may find the idea of midlife archetypes comforting but I found them more reductive than useful. Although I could identity which “type” I am, I didn’t have an aha moment regarding next steps. It could also be that child free women weren’t represented at all, which is a shame because our experience is valid.

[Kelly]

This book offered a positive spin on the idea of "midlife crisis." It offered many different anecdotes and much research and illustrated how midlife can be an optimal time in a woman's life for personal growth and positive transformation. A good read for any woman between the ages of 35 and 65 who feels sometimes like she might be going crazy.

[Dana]

A very interesting book about the breaking point women reach in middle age. There is a lot of information about the fact that women, too, have mid-life crises. The author looks at how women reach the breaking point, how they react to that crisis and how it impacts their lives down the road as they age. I do recommend this book.

[Kevin]

My wife asked me to read this book. We will make some time to talk about it soon. I underlined a lot of the book.

Some words and citations (in the paperback edition):
p. xiii renascent
p. 9 hellion
p. 144 Seamus Heaney poem "The Sea Change"
p. 157 languorous

From chapter 2 preface
"Rivers in extremely cold climates freeze over in winter.
In the spring, when they thaw, the sound of ice
creacking is an incredibly violent sound. The more
Extensive and severe the freeze, the more thunderous
the thaw. Yet, at the end of the cracking, breaking,
violent period, the river is open, life-giving, life-
carrying. No one says, "Let's not suffer the thaw; let's
keep the freeze; everything is quiet now." - Mary E. Mebane

[Torieqwq]

I enjoyed the stories, which mame me count my blessings. I am not sure that I picked up any tips on how to go through a midlife crisis, but maybe it was because I rushed through the book to get it back to the library.

[Evey]

Some of the stories were dragging but as a whole I enjoyed the book and I found that I related to many of the stories.

[Susan Shaw]

For some reason, I read this one over and over. The women's stories were like guideposts for me as I approached 50 and beyond.

[Colleen Patricia]

Provides various types of midlife crisis and why we become lost, unfilled and search for meaning in life.

[Heather]

Very helpful descriptions of the archetypes. Turns wayward at the end.