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When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

3.84  ·  Rating details ·  9,980 Ratings  ·  522 Reviews
On the heels of George Carlin's #1 New York Times bestseller Napalm & Silly Putty comes When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?--infused with Carlin's trademark irreverent humor and biting cultural observations.

Here we go again . . . George Carlin's hilarious When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? offers his cutting-edge opinions and observational humor on everything from
Kindle Edition, 295 pages
Published (first published January 1st 2004)
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Diamond Cowboy
Sep 23, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
George is one of my favorite commedians. In this book he explains his take on the American culture and Uphamistic language of the yuppy PC class. It is very funny. Nothing is sacred to this man.
I recommend this book to anyone who wants to think and have a good laugh.
Enjoy and Be Blessed.
I have always enjoyed George Carlin's rants and miss him now that he's dead in that way I miss famous people that I never really knew (like Dr. Seuss and Jim Henson and Richard Pryor). So I thought I would read something that Carlin wrote, laugh a bit, lament the loss.


This book kind of stunk. Sure, there were some parts of it that were amusing (especially some of the rants about language), but mostly it was just boring. It was so boring that I couldn't even force myself to read it all. That
Warning: when listening to the audiobook, use headphones.

George Carlin is my favorite comedian. I've been watching him since I was eight-years-old, probably not the best decision my father has ever made. And since his death 10 years ago, I've rewatched every standup more times than I can count, and also forced him onto some of my friends who didn't appreciate the humor as much. So when I was looking for my next Audible purchase, I couldn't resist!

While this book made me cry of laughter multiple
Feb 03, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: q3-2009

What is Carlin's main complaint in this book?
The softening of words to fit a more adverse society.

What was Carlin's ideal way to die?
His head exploding on the crosstown bus.
(Just in case that drives anyone to look up his death like it did to me, he died of heart failure.)


Why is "word softening" so bad?
It takes away the actual meaning of what it's being used to describe. For example, what we now know as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder used to be simply "Shell Shock". Makes sense,
Jun 17, 2008 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
George Carlin has long been one of my favorite comedians (although, he kind of lost freshness around the time that "Toledo Windowbox" came out). Until this, I have never read any of his books, though. To call this a funny book would be about 50% correct, as it is, indeed, a book. Mildly comic was his riff on how UFO buffs get a bum rap and people that believe in an invisible God Who demands their love get total respect from the media. But that was fairly early on in the book and after that was o ...more
Ivonne Rovira
I remembered George Carlin as being a lot more funny.
Jan 31, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: humor
This is pretty much what you expect from Carlin - acerbic, abrasive, disrespectful, challenging language that doesn't give a good goddamn what anyone else thinks. Which means there'll definitely be something in there that you disagree with, and probably something that pisses you off. Not me, of course. When I watched the South Park movie, at the abortion joke from The Mole, the entire theatre was dead silent except for me in the back row, cackling. I have a very broad sense of humor.

Anyway, if y
Tempo de Ler
George Carlin é um dos meus comediantes favoritos! Já perdi a conta às horas que passei a ver e rever os seus vídeos no Youtube. Não resisti, por isso, a comprar este livro assim que o vi; no entanto, e apesar de ter gostado do livro, senti falta do carisma de Carlin, da forma como verbalizava as suas ideias e proferia as piadas.

Ao chocar-nos, George leva-nos a colocar em perspectiva diversos conceitos e noções. Toca em temas como religião, política, ensino/educação; como a sociedade evoluiu par
Kaitlyn Henderson
Nov 06, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites, owned
I have a hard time when people tell me this book was "just okay" or "funny here and there" because I found the entire book to be completely hilarious, insightful, challenging, and satirical. It's Carlin, so there's going to be parts in the book people will disagree with or find politically incorrect, but that's other people. I didn't once disagree with a word Carlin said in the book. In fact, as is usual when I read/watch Carlin, he opened my eyes on some things and made me think. That's what I ...more
Mina Soare
Oct 06, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: social, humor, prejudice
I am prejudiced, I'll admit, the title&cover just about made my day. Even if you ignore the fact that it insults the three biggest religions (Christianity, Islam and Judaism), the anachronistic cranky mug of author himself in the middle of "Last Supper" truly gets the message across.

Two stars, this book stars at at two stars plus.

I am thoroughly prejudiced, indeed... but then again, I am in college.

Star number three: get the audiobook.

George Carlin (RIP) was a stand-up comedian and there
I wish I could give this one 2 and 1/2 stars, but you can't do halfs so I rounded up because I like George Carlin.

I'm a huge fan of his act, loved him in Bill and Ted's excient adventures. I think he was the first crude comiden I watched outside of Monty Python. The problem I had with this one was that it got old. A lot of what he wrote was just stupid. I would say pointless, but its comedy, not all things funny need to have a point. Really though, a lot of it wasn't even funny so it was pointl
Savvas Katseas
Jul 22, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: humor
I picked this one up because I love Carlin's work. He's as good as it gets if you prefer your stand-up comedy mixed with a bit of clever thinking.

Most reviewers stress two facts:
a) it's not that funny and
b) it's not "a book", it's filled with one-liners

Both of which are true. But then again, if all you're looking for is "fun", why pick up Carlin in the first place? He's mostly known for his subversive, insulting humor. The same seems to be true if you're not looking for one-liners but an actual
I really like George Carlin (R.I.P) but this was... not up to his usual standards. I expected vulgar, irreverent, offensive and abrasive - it wouldn't be Carlin if it wasn't, but I was kind of disappointed with it. It reminded me a lot of I Am America by Stephen Colbert. Truthfully, Colbert probably ganked a lot of his material from this book, because it was so similar. If I had read this one first, I'd have probably liked it better. OK, maybe not. Every time Carlin would get onto a good bashin' ...more
Apr 02, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Hear are some things you should not say if you encounter a comedian. First: If you're with another person at the time, don't say to your friend, "You better watch out, he'll put you in one of his skits." We don't like that. It's not funny. And, by the way, we don't do skits. Second: If you meet him while you're at your job, do not say, "You oughta work here, you'd get a lot of material." It's not true. Just because you work with a bunch of simpletons, doesn't mean it translates into comedy. Thir ...more
C.C. Thomas
Jun 25, 2012 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
This was Carlin's third book and while it is terribly funny, this was also biting. I winced in several spots instead of laughing. Carlin is clearly not a fan of organized religion so if you're the least bit religious, you might just get offended. Of course, if you're reading Carlin, that's probably just an expectation!

My favorite sections are always his euphemisms and he doesn't fail to deliver here. This book, though, had a different tone. The focus was less on being funny and more on observing
Menglong Youk
Jun 29, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
In term of Philosophy, I dare say that George Carlin influenced me more than other ancient philosophers. Although I don't use his language, my approach to the problems and the way I view everything around me are similar to George, not because I had them myself in the first place, but because I learned gradually by listening to his talks. This book takes on many taboo subjects, one of which is religion. Many authors advance on this topic in a serious way, but to George, he managed to insert humor ...more
May 19, 2015 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
After seeing some of George Carlin's shows and liking them I decided to read this book.
The book however is horrible as compared to the live shows. He just keeps on ranting in the whole book. Sometimes the rant is justified but mostly it's just gibberish. I barely made past the half of book and couldn't finish it even after the best of my efforts.
Todd Bristow
Carlin at his most nihilistic. His observations are brilliant as always, but his "stories" and characters just don't do it for me.
Jul 18, 2017 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Huge Carlin fan. Loved his baseball/football, airplane and other brilliant monologues. Had high expectations for the book. It is clearly not his best medium. Save your money and watch him on Youtube.
Patrick Gibson
Some good Carlin bits in here. Sound zingers on politics, religion, consumerism, language, and the foibles of everyday life. Carlin remains one of the few intellectually honest comedians (pundits? observers?) in that he bashes liberals and conservatives with equal gusto. He don't care if you Red or Blue... if you're a self-important hypocrite, he'll let you know.

Unfortunately, as Carlin got older, he got crankier, more bitter, and less funny. He's still better than most, but sometimes seems so
Jan 13, 2009 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A fun read, and classic Carlin wit. This book is basically a collection of random thoughts, opinions, and observations (i.e. "rants") that drive Carlin mad! I will admit, I had some trouble sticking with the book due to jarring flow of the format (no chapters...random headings which are unidentifiable as main headings, sub headings, etc.,). But reading some of Carlin's rants was enjoyable since so many of them are clearly overlooked by us all--specifically how we all try to make things sound mor ...more
Nov 26, 2011 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2-stars
I've read or heard so many pithy, one-sentence George Carlin lines---not what I would call jokes, because they always seemed too substantive to be classified that simply---that I thought now that I'm older I'd have a good chance at really appreciating his humor. And it's very possible that I would still enjoy his stand-up. But I did not enjoy this book.

It started off a little hit or miss, so I thought it just needed to build up its momentum, but by the third disc (of six) it was just dull, repe
Oct 08, 2012 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: fun-loving-people
I'm not going to lie, I had a few epileptic fits of laughter whilst listening to the audio version of the book, not to mention these lovely spontaneous fits only seemed to happen on a crowded train at 6A.M. on my way to school. Hell of a way to start the day isn't it?

Now back to the awesomeness that is George Carlin. I've watched a few of his stand-up comedy shows over the years, and I always found him hilarious, but up until recently I had no idea he was a writer. Probably since whenever I walk
Not for the faint-hearted, Carlin's strong language will probably offend almost everyone at some point. However language use is the main focus of Carlin's comedy and writing. He leads me to examine some of the motives and concepts that underpin our use of legitimate words. As he stated to CNN's Todd Leopold "try to see the world for what it actually is, as opposed to what someone or some company or some organization or some go ...more
Aug 30, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Sometimes uneven. There are parts that are simply brilliant and everyone should read, and there are parts that are just funny if you're in the right mood. Carlin, like Shakespeare, is usually better in the performance than the reading.
There is a lot of the complaining dirty old man shtick. There's also playing not so much with absurdities of society as absurdities of language and expectations. A running theme starts off complaining about euphemistic language sterilizing and dumbing down society,
Alexey Shpakov
May 10, 2014 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: fun
Yet another book by George Carlin. The thing I like about the guy is the consistency. As result, all his books are pretty much the same. And reading it resembles gold digging: it's about 65% of simply vulgar jokes, 30% of average jokes and 5% of interesting and insightful jokes.
Although I've enjoyed those 5%, digging through the remaining 95% of the book hasn't been the most pleasant experience.
I've always liked George Carlin so was excited to read this. Unfortunately for me, while intermittently amusing, this didn't really work for me as a book.

Mostly concerned with euphemisms and the softening of language (something George has never really bothered employing) this is a collection of riffs, ramblings, one-liners and skits (yes George, I called 'em skits. You're welcome.) that would make for ideal toilet reading material, but nothing more.
David Tan
May 20, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is the quintessential iteration of much of my applied philosophy of life. The sections on "Free-Floating Hostility" and "Education" pretty much sum up the cynical pessimism that I view the world. As depressing as many of the subjects, his wit in parlaying the opinions he holds grabs the reader and puts a hilarious spin on them without pulling any punches. Excerpts of the above sections can also be found at
Jill Hutchinson
Feb 28, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: humor
Carlin made me laugh when he appeared as "Al Sleet, the Hippy Dippy Weatherman" on late night television way back in the day......I have been a fan ever since. This book, much like his others is profane, acerbic, and just plain hilarious. Nobody could take the American experience and turn it on its head like Carlin. His humor was surreal and slightly off-center and it can offend if this is your first exposure to him. It's not for everyone but I certainly get a kick out of it. I miss him!
Apr 28, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: humor, nonfiction
This one feels more specifically written to read than some of his other work. It allowed him to return to his early style a little and play with more character pieces and situational humor, as opposed to just the topical or edgy material. Some of the pieces, like Tumor Humor, remind me a lot of Woody Allen's early prose work, which is a comparison I'd never really thought of before.

Overall, a solid work with plenty to enjoy.
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George Denis Patrick Carlin was a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and philosopher.

Carlin was especially noted for his political and black humor and his observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many taboo subjects. Carlin and his "Seven Dirty Words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which
More about George Carlin...
“Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” 7120 likes
“I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.” 736 likes
More quotes…