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How You Bear It: Triumph and Resiliency in Life
Jiu-jitsu champion, professional fighter, and world-class coach, Tom DeBlass became a hero in the martial arts community for his blue-collar roots and no-excuses approach to life. Today, he heads dozens of academies and has coached elite athletes such as world champion Gary Tonon. He’s also the creator of some of the most popular jiu-jitsu instructionals in the world.Follow the story of a runt from New Jersey, told by Tom to his father during the last year of his life. Bullied from a young age, Tom holds nothing back about being raised in a turbulent household where chaos was normal and strong ties to family were constantly tested. As he discovers the self-healing powers of sports and martial arts, Tom becomes a champion fighter as a young man. But his life brings on a new family, more students, and being responsible for more than just himself. Tom is forced to confront the driven competitor within, the one who will always pursue another medal, another victory. In his quest to finally heal from his past and find happiness, Tom learns an important ’s not what you bear, but how you bear it.Included in Tom’s story are key moments of his life and career such up tough in New Jersey and suffering his first concussion at age five.Learning to love and live with a father of addiction.Rising through the ranks of the most brutal mat space in the Team Renzo Gracie.Taking his first MMA fight on a week's notice against an undefeated fighter.Fighting in the infamous proving grounds of the ADCC North American Trials.Triumphing over depression, anger, and even suicidal thoughts.Fighting around the world in the UFC and Bellator MMA.Raising children and maintaining relationships amidst a life of chaos.Above all, Tom learns and shares lessons about triumph and resilience on and off the mats.
- GenresMartial Arts
211 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 16, 2021
18 people are currently reading
108 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
November 18, 2021
I’ve been a student of BJJ for four years, and quickly became a fan of Tom DeBlass’s online persona from afar; later, I’d travel to take part in a camp and seminar with DeBlass, and in 2019 spent a week training at his academy, OCBJJ.
I purchased this book and read it in one sitting on a single afternoon. It’s a great read; DeBlass and Martin structure the life story around DeBlass’s interactions with his father, which makes for an engaging and fresh experience.
If you’re a fan of DeBlass already, this book is a must; if you’re into BJJ/MMA/combat sports as a practitioner or follower, you’ll also appreciate both the inside look at BJJ/MMA in NY and NJ back in the day as well as the insight into the costs of being a fighter – physically, mentally and spiritually.
The title reads “How You Bear It”, but this isn’t your run-of-the-mill self-help stuff; like in his academies, like on social media, DeBlass teaches and leads by example. There are a lot of lessons in here: how to achieve greatness in sports and combat, how to run a successful academy, how to be accepting of the people we love even when they hurt us, how to ask for help when we need it, how to know when it’s time to quit and let go – of a fighting career, or a loved one.
Most impressive, I think, is DeBlass’s vulnerability. He holds nothing back here. It’s a powerful reminder that even the best of the best are, ultimately, human.
Highly recommend you read this book.
I purchased this book and read it in one sitting on a single afternoon. It’s a great read; DeBlass and Martin structure the life story around DeBlass’s interactions with his father, which makes for an engaging and fresh experience.
If you’re a fan of DeBlass already, this book is a must; if you’re into BJJ/MMA/combat sports as a practitioner or follower, you’ll also appreciate both the inside look at BJJ/MMA in NY and NJ back in the day as well as the insight into the costs of being a fighter – physically, mentally and spiritually.
The title reads “How You Bear It”, but this isn’t your run-of-the-mill self-help stuff; like in his academies, like on social media, DeBlass teaches and leads by example. There are a lot of lessons in here: how to achieve greatness in sports and combat, how to run a successful academy, how to be accepting of the people we love even when they hurt us, how to ask for help when we need it, how to know when it’s time to quit and let go – of a fighting career, or a loved one.
Most impressive, I think, is DeBlass’s vulnerability. He holds nothing back here. It’s a powerful reminder that even the best of the best are, ultimately, human.
Highly recommend you read this book.
November 30, 2021
Well written and interesting structure. I do wish we had more details, but it is understandable that Deblass may want to keep some details to himself.
November 19, 2022
This is a five star memoir and most people can get a lot from it but especially Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu athletes. Not only is Tom clear abd authentic, but partnering with a writer was the right choice. His life is filled with powerful and painful stories and it's all told very well and in captivating structure.
The book also manages to be many things at once. As a counselor, I appreciate his frank willingness to reflect on his deep depression, loss and suicidal ideation. He bears it all. Speaking bravely about being molested as a child and about his own failings and selfishness. Leaving a good example of strength THROUGH owning vulnerability.
As a jiujiteiro, I appreciate his clear tactical analysis and evolution story. I've read martial arts description in literature before and he speaks in a simple common language.
Tom DeBlass as a person is an interesting one and his story runs through, intersects and battles with all the modern greats: Garry Tonon, Gordon Ryan, John Danaher, etc. He details seminal recent big history, not just ADCC or UFC but even the founding of BJJ fanatics.
Lastly, this memoir is the first non fiction I've read that recounts recent years of pandemic with the surreal feeling that it is distant history.
It does all this while being remarkably simple. Great memoir.
The book also manages to be many things at once. As a counselor, I appreciate his frank willingness to reflect on his deep depression, loss and suicidal ideation. He bears it all. Speaking bravely about being molested as a child and about his own failings and selfishness. Leaving a good example of strength THROUGH owning vulnerability.
As a jiujiteiro, I appreciate his clear tactical analysis and evolution story. I've read martial arts description in literature before and he speaks in a simple common language.
Tom DeBlass as a person is an interesting one and his story runs through, intersects and battles with all the modern greats: Garry Tonon, Gordon Ryan, John Danaher, etc. He details seminal recent big history, not just ADCC or UFC but even the founding of BJJ fanatics.
Lastly, this memoir is the first non fiction I've read that recounts recent years of pandemic with the surreal feeling that it is distant history.
It does all this while being remarkably simple. Great memoir.
October 21, 2024
Disappointing book
Was excited to read this book as it was about the life of BJJ aficionado, Tom Deblass. However, the book jumps around and doesn’t have much substance. In addition to the that, I couldn’t help but feel that it started out interesting and informative but only to be rushed after 1/3 into the book. Interestingly or perhaps not interesting at all were the many times Tom would brag and try to elevate himself by repeatedly disclosing things about how much money he had, how tough he was or is and that he owned (x amount) a vast number of schools, which that number was also inflated.
Lastly, one of the topics was the addiction that the family endured by Tom’s father. However it was never disclosed why or why not his father ever attempted to stop taking methadone.
Was excited to read this book as it was about the life of BJJ aficionado, Tom Deblass. However, the book jumps around and doesn’t have much substance. In addition to the that, I couldn’t help but feel that it started out interesting and informative but only to be rushed after 1/3 into the book. Interestingly or perhaps not interesting at all were the many times Tom would brag and try to elevate himself by repeatedly disclosing things about how much money he had, how tough he was or is and that he owned (x amount) a vast number of schools, which that number was also inflated.
Lastly, one of the topics was the addiction that the family endured by Tom’s father. However it was never disclosed why or why not his father ever attempted to stop taking methadone.
February 3, 2022
As a Jiu Jitsu practitioner I was well aware of Tom DeBlass the competitor/professor (which is why I bought this book) but I had little idea about Tom DeBlass the person.
This is a raw, honest and emotional tale of his life from the up’s, down’s and everything in-between. It’s a humble look at how he reached the pinnacle of ADCC/UFC in two of the toughest sports in the world while battling his own personal demons and the way he kept family at the centre of his life.
Highly recommend this book to anyone who loves a story of perseverance and honesty. I was a fan before but I’m even more a fan after!
This is a raw, honest and emotional tale of his life from the up’s, down’s and everything in-between. It’s a humble look at how he reached the pinnacle of ADCC/UFC in two of the toughest sports in the world while battling his own personal demons and the way he kept family at the centre of his life.
Highly recommend this book to anyone who loves a story of perseverance and honesty. I was a fan before but I’m even more a fan after!
December 9, 2021
Great read!
There is something about reading a book where the author lets you “peek behind the curtain”. Tom DeBlass lays his soul to bare talking about his complicated relationship with his recently deceased father. I purchased this book because I practice jiu jitsu and I’m a Tom DeBlass fan. This book is so much more than I expected.
There is something about reading a book where the author lets you “peek behind the curtain”. Tom DeBlass lays his soul to bare talking about his complicated relationship with his recently deceased father. I purchased this book because I practice jiu jitsu and I’m a Tom DeBlass fan. This book is so much more than I expected.
May 19, 2022
This is a biography. Insight into the life and career of Tom DeBlass, how he approaches combat sports in particular and his life. It's well written but doesn't try to be very formal. Martial artists will see some of themselves in it, and those who live with martial artists may grow to understand a bit more about them.
August 22, 2022
As a BJJ practitioner, I was obviously interested in this because of who Tom is, but this was also just a great book about persistence and growth. I loved the format, how Tom tells his story through telling it to his father.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 18, 2022
Great read
Really enjoy ed this book. Gives great insight.into the culture of combat sports and how a person evolves over time. Tom shows up in this book and gives us a great look into his life and struggles while being a dad, gym owner, fighter and son.
Really enjoy ed this book. Gives great insight.into the culture of combat sports and how a person evolves over time. Tom shows up in this book and gives us a great look into his life and struggles while being a dad, gym owner, fighter and son.
January 1, 2023
Great story of the gritty reality of one man’s life. The struggle and triumph over depression that is a constant element of life is tangible, both sad and hopeful.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews