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Boy at the Window
It all began with trying to fly.
After jumping off the roof of his house in the middle of the night, Daniel Kim wakes up far from Neverland, his reprieve from the real world. Thrust into a mental health hospital and then into a brand-new high school, he struggles to hold on to reality while haunted by both his very-present past and his never-present parents. But when he joins Cranbrook Preparatory’s cross-country team, he starts to feel like he’s walking on his own two feet once again. He meets Jiwon Yoon—another cross-country runner, who may be the first person to join Daniel in his Neverland daydreams.
Or maybe Jiwon is the one who will finally break Daniel free.
An ultimately uplifting story that does not shy away from the discomfort of reality. -Kirkus Reviews 01/01/2022
"Daniel is a fresh take on LGTBQIA+ youth representation who many readers will gravitate to; he is relatable without being stereotypical and his story is one young adults will want to read. VERDICT This debut novel belongs on the shelves of all libraries that serve high school readers." — Roy Jackson, School Library Journal
After jumping off the roof of his house in the middle of the night, Daniel Kim wakes up far from Neverland, his reprieve from the real world. Thrust into a mental health hospital and then into a brand-new high school, he struggles to hold on to reality while haunted by both his very-present past and his never-present parents. But when he joins Cranbrook Preparatory’s cross-country team, he starts to feel like he’s walking on his own two feet once again. He meets Jiwon Yoon—another cross-country runner, who may be the first person to join Daniel in his Neverland daydreams.
Or maybe Jiwon is the one who will finally break Daniel free.
An ultimately uplifting story that does not shy away from the discomfort of reality. -Kirkus Reviews 01/01/2022
"Daniel is a fresh take on LGTBQIA+ youth representation who many readers will gravitate to; he is relatable without being stereotypical and his story is one young adults will want to read. VERDICT This debut novel belongs on the shelves of all libraries that serve high school readers." — Roy Jackson, School Library Journal
266 pages, Paperback
Published February 1, 2022
About the author
Lauren Melissa Ellzey
3 books87 followersLauren Melissa Ellzey (she/her), known across social media as @Autienelle, is an autistic self-advocate, author, educator, and activist. Her young adult novels, BOY AT THE WINDOW and GIMMICKS AND GLAMOUR, emphasize the importance of belonging for queer, neurodivergent youth of color. Through writing and presenting, she highlights the inequitable systems that oppress queer, BIPOC, and disabled folks. Her work has crossed paths with NeuroClastic, New York University, Reframing Autism, Cripple Media, AbleZine, Think Inclusive, and the United Nations. She holds an MS in Library and Information Science and resides in New York City.
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
February 15, 2022
i was lucky enough to read an arc of Boy at the Window, a queer coming of age story that focuses on mental health. Daniel Kim is a high school student struggling with depersonalization-derealization disorder, and we meet him after a recent suicide attempt. i thought this book tackled a rare mental health issue very well, and i loved that it focused on two queer boys of color, who are both asian american. i also loved the slight magical realism feeling, and how Daniel connected his dreams of neverland to his experience running cross country.
i would've maybe wanted to see a bit more discussion of some of the other big issues the characters were facing in addition to mental health/therapy, but i really enjoyed this story.
thank you to author lauren melissa ellzey for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review
tw: mental health, suicide, death of parent, coming out, sexual coercion
i would've maybe wanted to see a bit more discussion of some of the other big issues the characters were facing in addition to mental health/therapy, but i really enjoyed this story.
thank you to author lauren melissa ellzey for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review
tw: mental health, suicide, death of parent, coming out, sexual coercion
April 18, 2022
A hidden gem that I hope more people put on their tbr lists! RTC very soon, but for now know that I feel like this one is perfect for fans of books like I Wish You All the Best, by Mason Deaver. I CANNOT wait to read anything that Ellzey releases in the future, she's beyond talented!
UPDATE: Here's the link to my review / book spotlight post - https://www.instagram.com/p/CcdrHX7L5...
UPDATE: Here's the link to my review / book spotlight post - https://www.instagram.com/p/CcdrHX7L5...
August 28, 2022
There's so much great stuff in this debut novel: a sweet high school queer sports romance, a tender and honest portrayal of struggling with mental health and trauma recovery, connection and personal discovery through the mediums of art and fandom. I love how it really thoughtfully straddles the line between acknowledging the power of pretending and how escapism can be used to help manifest a better future for yourself while still acknowledging its limits and the importance of understanding some of the limitations of society.
March 6, 2022
I just finished reading Boy At The Window by Lauren Melissa Ellzey, which is a contemporary YA novel that follows Daniel Kim, a sixteen-year-old just waking up in a mental health hospital, "far from Neverland, his reprieve from the real world."
I really liked the writing style. I felt very absorbed in the story, both by feeling like I was in the same places as Daniel and by being able to feel what he felt. I think this was done especially well because Daniel was in and out of the "real" world due to experiencing depersonalization-derealization disorder. I haven't experienced this disorder myself, yet it felt relatable and understandable to me.
The romance itself was a slow burn, and physically romantic scenes were not graphically described (something I personally appreciate 😂). Because the romance is between two young men, it would once again have been easy for me to feel like an outsider, but instead I felt connected to their decisions about each other.
Maybe "connection" is a good way for me to sum up the book. I felt connected to Daniel, who is so different from me, and I felt so much compassion and empathy for his struggles. I also wanted to shake his parents really hard, but that's a tangent for another time.
My only critique is that some of the descriptors (adjectives, metaphors) pulled me out of the story a little bit. I felt like almost every word had an added descriptor attached. Once I got the hang of the author's style, I was able to flow with it, but it was a little bit jarring at first.
Overall, I enjoyed my read a lot, and I'm excited to see more work by Lauren Melissa in the future!
I really liked the writing style. I felt very absorbed in the story, both by feeling like I was in the same places as Daniel and by being able to feel what he felt. I think this was done especially well because Daniel was in and out of the "real" world due to experiencing depersonalization-derealization disorder. I haven't experienced this disorder myself, yet it felt relatable and understandable to me.
The romance itself was a slow burn, and physically romantic scenes were not graphically described (something I personally appreciate 😂). Because the romance is between two young men, it would once again have been easy for me to feel like an outsider, but instead I felt connected to their decisions about each other.
Maybe "connection" is a good way for me to sum up the book. I felt connected to Daniel, who is so different from me, and I felt so much compassion and empathy for his struggles. I also wanted to shake his parents really hard, but that's a tangent for another time.
My only critique is that some of the descriptors (adjectives, metaphors) pulled me out of the story a little bit. I felt like almost every word had an added descriptor attached. Once I got the hang of the author's style, I was able to flow with it, but it was a little bit jarring at first.
Overall, I enjoyed my read a lot, and I'm excited to see more work by Lauren Melissa in the future!
May 11, 2022
This book is incredibly moving, absorbing and beautiful. There are some heart wrenching moments but Ellzey writes with such a unique voice that it was a joy to read throughout.
What starts off as an in depth look into mental illness slowly morphs into a highschool romance novel without losing focus or entertaining the idea that love can cure psychiatric problems.
Ellzey captures the internal experiences of Daniel flawlessly and I became so invested in his journey. It's also very refreshing to have the focus on a BAME group rather than all Caucasian protagonists, it gave me some really value insights into other cultures' attitudes towards the issues presented. I think this book is a must read for LGBTQ+ youth (and adults) because it is has a lovely message of hope and positivity.
Trigger warning for themes of suicide, trauma, mental illness and hospitalisation.
What starts off as an in depth look into mental illness slowly morphs into a highschool romance novel without losing focus or entertaining the idea that love can cure psychiatric problems.
Ellzey captures the internal experiences of Daniel flawlessly and I became so invested in his journey. It's also very refreshing to have the focus on a BAME group rather than all Caucasian protagonists, it gave me some really value insights into other cultures' attitudes towards the issues presented. I think this book is a must read for LGBTQ+ youth (and adults) because it is has a lovely message of hope and positivity.
Trigger warning for themes of suicide, trauma, mental illness and hospitalisation.
February 19, 2022
It’s hard to believe this is Ellzey’s first book. I would not have expected the depth and breadth that this book offers, both as a first book and as a YA book. Her main characters are well developed and especially likable. The emotional struggles of the protagonist are clear and easy to relate to. I hate to give things away, so you’ll just have to read it for yourself – which you very much should do!
May 26, 2022
I highly recommend this novel. Lauren Melissa's has the unique ability to capture emotions through thoughtful storytelling. The author elevates important topics of trauma, suicide, and adolescent love and friendship, which allowed for an immersive experience in a teenager’s reality of growing up in modern adolescence. After reading this breakthrough novel, it is clear that Lauren Melissa has a long career in writing and will make a lasting impression on the YA genre. Bravo and can’t wait for her next novel!
February 9, 2022
I was quite excited and intrigued by the blurb but it turned out this wasn't for me.
I really liked the idea of a fairy story as an escape for someone and I was hoping the two worlds would weave together seamlessly making me struggle with reality and fiction, but after the first few chapters the Neverland ki d of faded I to the background.
So this is more a coming of age story. A rich teenager struggles with his identity and sexuality and has a terrible relationship with his parents. As a result he attempts suicide and runs off to his imaginary world. In this sense the story isnt bad. The character is likeable, the school setting seems real enough and the cross country element adds a little something different. But this isn't what I wanted to read. I thought it would be more about mental health and blurred reality and less about teenage boy meets teenage boy. The pace was a little slow for me, a lot of going round each other's houses and waiting for track meets. There were hints at bugger issues but they never developed and I wasnt a fan of the ending. It was a bit something and nothing for me.
This will probably appeal to teenagers, but the blurb was misleading and there wasn't much for the older ya market.
I really liked the idea of a fairy story as an escape for someone and I was hoping the two worlds would weave together seamlessly making me struggle with reality and fiction, but after the first few chapters the Neverland ki d of faded I to the background.
So this is more a coming of age story. A rich teenager struggles with his identity and sexuality and has a terrible relationship with his parents. As a result he attempts suicide and runs off to his imaginary world. In this sense the story isnt bad. The character is likeable, the school setting seems real enough and the cross country element adds a little something different. But this isn't what I wanted to read. I thought it would be more about mental health and blurred reality and less about teenage boy meets teenage boy. The pace was a little slow for me, a lot of going round each other's houses and waiting for track meets. There were hints at bugger issues but they never developed and I wasnt a fan of the ending. It was a bit something and nothing for me.
This will probably appeal to teenagers, but the blurb was misleading and there wasn't much for the older ya market.
March 28, 2022
Boy at the Window
Lauren Melissa Ellzey
I would to thank Lauren Ellzey for a copy of this book to review. I honestly do not think this is a book that would have been on my radar otherwise.
The sheer importance of this book is massive. The message, the insight…. If you have a child of any age, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race you should read this book. If you are a teenager you should read this book. This book follows Asian American Daniel Kim and his struggles to return to his life. We meet Daniel in his last days in a mental hospital. He returns home to cold, distant, uninvolved parents. Who have only ever been worried about their company and how their family looks to the outside world. Thankfully, Daniel has Nana, a loving housekeeper/former nanny.
We go along Daniels journey of starting a new school. His parents zip in and out of his day to day life. He struggles with keeping himself grounded, hence why he escapes to Never never land. Peter Pan is his escape. As he moves through out the book, he joins the track team which he loves. He also meets Jiwon who turns out to be someone he opens up to. Feelings develop between the two, and it’s so sweet and beautiful. I loved Jiwon’s character, he really understood Daniel. He didn’t make Daniel feel bad about his love of Peter Pan, and he ends up playing a big role in helping Daniel ground himself.
I don’t want to give away to much about this book. It brings to the forefront so many issues that kids are facing in the current climate. Thank you again to Lauren. 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Lauren Melissa Ellzey
I would to thank Lauren Ellzey for a copy of this book to review. I honestly do not think this is a book that would have been on my radar otherwise.
The sheer importance of this book is massive. The message, the insight…. If you have a child of any age, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race you should read this book. If you are a teenager you should read this book. This book follows Asian American Daniel Kim and his struggles to return to his life. We meet Daniel in his last days in a mental hospital. He returns home to cold, distant, uninvolved parents. Who have only ever been worried about their company and how their family looks to the outside world. Thankfully, Daniel has Nana, a loving housekeeper/former nanny.
We go along Daniels journey of starting a new school. His parents zip in and out of his day to day life. He struggles with keeping himself grounded, hence why he escapes to Never never land. Peter Pan is his escape. As he moves through out the book, he joins the track team which he loves. He also meets Jiwon who turns out to be someone he opens up to. Feelings develop between the two, and it’s so sweet and beautiful. I loved Jiwon’s character, he really understood Daniel. He didn’t make Daniel feel bad about his love of Peter Pan, and he ends up playing a big role in helping Daniel ground himself.
I don’t want to give away to much about this book. It brings to the forefront so many issues that kids are facing in the current climate. Thank you again to Lauren. 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
February 20, 2022
I’m a huge fan of Lauren’s writing and I was eager to read her first YA book, ‘Boy at the Window’. It delves into mental health, challenging family dynamics and queer romance, as well as ‘Depersonalization-derealization disorder’ which I didn’t know much about and found fascinating. It was a great read! 👍
April 4, 2022
"Well, I'm certainly proud of you." I really loved this book! The Peter Pan references made me feel nostalgic. I was also able to relate to several situations that the characters went through. You can't help but love the main characters, Daniel and Jiwon! Their story will continue in my dreams.
January 3, 2024
I loved this book. I won’t lie and say that it had the best writing, but the plot and characters really made up for what the writing itself was lacking. I think it did a very good job of portraying mental health issues and the effect they have on the person. I would 100% recommend.
January 16, 2022
THIS BOOK. I haven't read a coming of age story so powerful in a very long time. Gripping. Compelling. Original. A 100% MUST READ. I can't wait for more books to come out by this author.
December 22, 2022
I can honestly say I don't think I've ever related to a main character more in my entire life. I started reading this book on a whim, and found myself completely bewildered by just how close Daniel's experiences were to my own (let's just say our medicine cabinets would be identical).
Boy at the Window is an honest and raw portrayal of the complicated nature of the invisible things that make us who we are. This story is a reminder that If we can accept ourselves without condition, we become a threat to those who try to place limits on love.
Boy at the Window is an honest and raw portrayal of the complicated nature of the invisible things that make us who we are. This story is a reminder that If we can accept ourselves without condition, we become a threat to those who try to place limits on love.
March 12, 2022
Boy at the Window
This book, this story, this message, requires the attention of all those who have ever loved a child. Read it yourself, read it with your beloved child or grandchild so you can learn and share together.
I picked this book up as a promise to a family member. I read it cover-to-cover as a promise to myself. I wanted to go through this chapter of Daniel’s life by being with him every day, not giving up on him, not getting so scared he would be harmed that I’d look away out of fear of heartbreak. And I did stay in his story. And Daniel taught me so much by being himself and continuing to struggle his way through all the suffocating fears and judgements that sought to crush his spirit.
As a parent and grandparent, I was given the opportunity to reflect on the response almost every parent gives to the question, “What is your deepest wish for your child?” We say, “I just want them to be happy.” What if your child acts, looks, lives, outside of what is considered “normal” or “acceptable” or “beautiful”? Isn’t it more true that parents want children to be happy as long as they manage to live "within normal limits” and aren’t put at risk for ridicule or harm for being "different"? Isn’t it more true that we long to keep our loved ones safe from being seen as undesirable that we deny, hide, discount, invalidate, or outright isolate or reject them, rather than working wholeheartedly to change the social patterns and structures that enforce who is and isn’t considered worthy of approval and belonging?
Yes, there is a real cost to being disapproved of. There is also a real gift in finding the courage to live one's truth. Lauren Melissa Ellzey reveals, through her compassionate and raw portrayal of Daniel at this vulnerable life passage, the cost of trying to fit in when it requires self-betrayal to the point of rocking his will to live, and the gift of finding courage to be.
Read this book, know better so we can love better.
This book, this story, this message, requires the attention of all those who have ever loved a child. Read it yourself, read it with your beloved child or grandchild so you can learn and share together.
I picked this book up as a promise to a family member. I read it cover-to-cover as a promise to myself. I wanted to go through this chapter of Daniel’s life by being with him every day, not giving up on him, not getting so scared he would be harmed that I’d look away out of fear of heartbreak. And I did stay in his story. And Daniel taught me so much by being himself and continuing to struggle his way through all the suffocating fears and judgements that sought to crush his spirit.
As a parent and grandparent, I was given the opportunity to reflect on the response almost every parent gives to the question, “What is your deepest wish for your child?” We say, “I just want them to be happy.” What if your child acts, looks, lives, outside of what is considered “normal” or “acceptable” or “beautiful”? Isn’t it more true that parents want children to be happy as long as they manage to live "within normal limits” and aren’t put at risk for ridicule or harm for being "different"? Isn’t it more true that we long to keep our loved ones safe from being seen as undesirable that we deny, hide, discount, invalidate, or outright isolate or reject them, rather than working wholeheartedly to change the social patterns and structures that enforce who is and isn’t considered worthy of approval and belonging?
Yes, there is a real cost to being disapproved of. There is also a real gift in finding the courage to live one's truth. Lauren Melissa Ellzey reveals, through her compassionate and raw portrayal of Daniel at this vulnerable life passage, the cost of trying to fit in when it requires self-betrayal to the point of rocking his will to live, and the gift of finding courage to be.
Read this book, know better so we can love better.
March 1, 2022
This book expertly weaves together a sweet teen romance and a gut-wrenching exploration of life with mental illness and trauma.
Daniel had all the trappings of a privileged teen life: wealthy parents, a fancy house in a rich suburb, private school education, and skill at school and athletics. Yet his miserable inner life led him to a suicide attempt and a tendency to indulge in escapist fantasies.
As Daniel develops a friendship with his cute teammate Jiwon, we learn piece by piece what led Daniel to the brink. Jiwon seems to understand and have patience for Daniel that nobody has shown him. Still, Jiwon has problems of his own, and watching the two navigate their separate issues as their friendship blossoms into something more is one of the most satisfying threads in this book.
Standouts of the richly drawn cast of characters are Daniel's emotionally unavailable parents, his caring but conflict-avoidant housekeeper, Nana, and his new friend who loves to cheat on tests, Amber.
If you're not sure about the book after the first few chapters, keep going! You won't regret it. The slower beginning sets the scene for a wild ride of love, drama, and shocking revelations.
Daniel had all the trappings of a privileged teen life: wealthy parents, a fancy house in a rich suburb, private school education, and skill at school and athletics. Yet his miserable inner life led him to a suicide attempt and a tendency to indulge in escapist fantasies.
As Daniel develops a friendship with his cute teammate Jiwon, we learn piece by piece what led Daniel to the brink. Jiwon seems to understand and have patience for Daniel that nobody has shown him. Still, Jiwon has problems of his own, and watching the two navigate their separate issues as their friendship blossoms into something more is one of the most satisfying threads in this book.
Standouts of the richly drawn cast of characters are Daniel's emotionally unavailable parents, his caring but conflict-avoidant housekeeper, Nana, and his new friend who loves to cheat on tests, Amber.
If you're not sure about the book after the first few chapters, keep going! You won't regret it. The slower beginning sets the scene for a wild ride of love, drama, and shocking revelations.
March 5, 2022
A delightful read! Although I don't share the identities nor experiences of any single character, I still wish I'd had this as an adolescent, and I'm grateful it exists for today's young people (& not-so-young people like myself, ha).
I really enjoyed the Peter Pan theme, the nuanced, thoughtful, and authentic approaches to a variety of (difficult!) themes (around identity, acceptance, mental health, etc), especially considering how much joy, validation, and hope it provided (in my humble opinion). Would love to read more from this author!!
I really enjoyed the Peter Pan theme, the nuanced, thoughtful, and authentic approaches to a variety of (difficult!) themes (around identity, acceptance, mental health, etc), especially considering how much joy, validation, and hope it provided (in my humble opinion). Would love to read more from this author!!
February 13, 2022
It is rare to see Asian American queer representation in novels and even rarer to see it done well. I commend this author for her realistic portrayals of two such important book characters. I also commend her for raising awareness of a somewhat rare mental health issue. I greatly enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone!
December 15, 2022
I think I was expecting more from this but it was okay. There is something I didn’t particularly like that affected how I viewed and read the story. The fact that a Black queer woman wrote from the perspective of a gay Asian teen boy. It’s not the gender that made me second guess but the ethnicity. I feel like when authors write from a community that they may not be fully integrated into it feels inauthentic to me.
I will say that Daniel’s story seems like it could be important for younger queer kids who can maybe relate.
I will say that Daniel’s story seems like it could be important for younger queer kids who can maybe relate.
January 19, 2023
girl im so emo over this
July 17, 2022
Boy at the Window is not an easy read. But it is one most definitely worth reading if you are ok with heavy and some what triggering subjects : Emotional trauma, attempted suicide, mental illness.. It has lots of peter pan references that lighten the tone a bit but in parts also darken it. It's an interesting and thought provoking read.
November 19, 2022
I have not had a book hangover like this in quite a while. This book is going to stay with me for a very long time. I can't believe this is a debut novel. It's got 2 Korean-American MCs; first love; mental health; angst galore; flights to Neverland; and lyrical prose, a unique voice, and depth beyond what is usually found in YA or romance novels, in general. The story itself is about Daniel, who is recovering from a suicide attempt - first in a hospital/inpatient treatment facility, then at a new school. Outwardly, Daniel is a loner, stand-offish, unlikely or unwilling to engage with teachers or classmates. But that's only because the others can't see the immense adventures Daniel has with the rest of the Lost Boys in Neverland going on inside his head. Daniel has depersonalization-derealization disorder, which causes him to detach from his body in times of stress (most of the time). Sometimes he watches from afar as his body responds to the rest of the world, other times he explores the forests with his Lost Boys and sets traps for Captain Hook. As he slowly begins to make friends on the cross-country team, especially Jiwon, he finds himself spending less time in Neverland and making more connections in the real world. But with that comes more pain - from neglectful and abusive parents, from past friends, from the world - and the less time he spends in Neverland, the harder it is to get back there when the pain comes. When the worst happens, all he wants to do is get back to Neverland and stay there forever. Will his connection to Jiwan stop that from happening? And is that a good or bad thing?
March 3, 2023
i hope daniel resonates with the prozd “reciting any scene from peter pan from memory” video. it’s just my headcanon now that he’s watched it and felt seen
December 24, 2022
Ok, i loved this book. It really turned into one of my favorites.
August 4, 2024
What a surprising random pick up from the library. In an age where "shifting" has become so popular online and with young people, the contents of this story feel even more relevant. The book follows Daniel and we join him for a relatively short period of time throughout the story as he tries to cope with his sexuality and his experiences with sexual coercion and attempted conversion. I did wish we progressed further in time with them, not that the book needed to be longer necessarily, but just that we perhaps saw another therapy session or Jinwon graduate.
Daniel's characterization was complex and enjoyable. You may see him at first as outright closed-off to help. However, he surprises readers, and himself, with how much he is able to open up to his therapist and to Jinwon. I found this very exciting to read. Daniel wasn't one note, he didn't keep every little thing bottled in which can be agonizing for readers who have to keep it bottled in too. He very much desires help and connections and love and that made me continue this story.
My favorite thing about this story's writing was the unabashed slipping right into Daniel's derealization/depersonalization moments. There was no explanation to the reader, no clunky "and now Daniel disassociates". Rather, we simply join his translucent soul as it watches from atop the bookshelf or ceiling fan. We just are with the lost boys, we just are fighting captain hook, we just are doing what Daniel does. That certainly made it "magical" but also allowed us to do what Daniel would do.
The story is also particularly interesting because everyone in this story is rich. Across every level, they attend private schools with doctor or graphic designer parents and they have huge mansions and whatnot. Jinwon's house is made to feel like the anthesis to Daniel's as homey and perhaps more down-to-earth but that is unfortunately lost on me as he also has a once a week cleaner and a doctor father. I think the class aspect is interesting only because we have Daniel's caretaker character a hint of "working-class" but she never does more than she's paid to do and has essentially her own apartment in the home. Such an interesting peek into this world of wealth which is undoubtedly realistic
I think the character of the nanny was very interesting and well written. She wasn't overly affectionate and certainly not Daniel's knight in shining armor which is a realistic depiction of her role. She doesn't try to override his parents, swoop in to take a blow in his place or outright lie to them. Rather, she fulfills her role in a way that I believe is exactly as Daniel needs.
The women and girl characters in the book were written across a spectrum of openness. Where the mother was quite restrained but apparently willing to open herself up, Amber was an open book and easily likeable. She wasn't used as fodder for jealously and didn't try to assert herself over Daniel in any pushy way.
Daniel's characterization was complex and enjoyable. You may see him at first as outright closed-off to help. However, he surprises readers, and himself, with how much he is able to open up to his therapist and to Jinwon. I found this very exciting to read. Daniel wasn't one note, he didn't keep every little thing bottled in which can be agonizing for readers who have to keep it bottled in too. He very much desires help and connections and love and that made me continue this story.
My favorite thing about this story's writing was the unabashed slipping right into Daniel's derealization/depersonalization moments. There was no explanation to the reader, no clunky "and now Daniel disassociates". Rather, we simply join his translucent soul as it watches from atop the bookshelf or ceiling fan. We just are with the lost boys, we just are fighting captain hook, we just are doing what Daniel does. That certainly made it "magical" but also allowed us to do what Daniel would do.
The story is also particularly interesting because everyone in this story is rich. Across every level, they attend private schools with doctor or graphic designer parents and they have huge mansions and whatnot. Jinwon's house is made to feel like the anthesis to Daniel's as homey and perhaps more down-to-earth but that is unfortunately lost on me as he also has a once a week cleaner and a doctor father. I think the class aspect is interesting only because we have Daniel's caretaker character a hint of "working-class" but she never does more than she's paid to do and has essentially her own apartment in the home. Such an interesting peek into this world of wealth which is undoubtedly realistic
I think the character of the nanny was very interesting and well written. She wasn't overly affectionate and certainly not Daniel's knight in shining armor which is a realistic depiction of her role. She doesn't try to override his parents, swoop in to take a blow in his place or outright lie to them. Rather, she fulfills her role in a way that I believe is exactly as Daniel needs.
The women and girl characters in the book were written across a spectrum of openness. Where the mother was quite restrained but apparently willing to open herself up, Amber was an open book and easily likeable. She wasn't used as fodder for jealously and didn't try to assert herself over Daniel in any pushy way.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 9, 2024
I really enjoyed the concept of this book. We need so many more neurodivergent, mental health focused, queer stories. I will also say I loved the normalization of taking mental health medication and going to therapy.
I will also say I liked the first 2/3 thirds better when it seemed more like a celebration of the power of stories, fantasy, and parasocial relationships to explain life and keep us going when reality has stolen someone's hope or someone's reason to live away from them.
The last 1/3 felt more like being told when choosing between the stories, fantasy, and parasocial relationships that keep someone going and reality, that reality is more important and should be the one chosen.
I think I would have preferred the main character to learn that stories, fantasy, and parasocial relationships can live side by side and at peace with reality. It is not a "or" situation but a "both/and" situation.
I will also say I liked the first 2/3 thirds better when it seemed more like a celebration of the power of stories, fantasy, and parasocial relationships to explain life and keep us going when reality has stolen someone's hope or someone's reason to live away from them.
The last 1/3 felt more like being told when choosing between the stories, fantasy, and parasocial relationships that keep someone going and reality, that reality is more important and should be the one chosen.
I think I would have preferred the main character to learn that stories, fantasy, and parasocial relationships can live side by side and at peace with reality. It is not a "or" situation but a "both/and" situation.
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