What do you think?
Rate this book
It Doesn't Have to Be Awkward: Dealing with Relationships, Consent, and Other Hard-to-Talk-About Stuff
From celebrity M.D. Dr. Drew Pinsky and his daughter Paulina Pinsky comes an entertaining and comprehensive guide to sex, relationships, and consent in today's #MeToo era. Perfect for teens, parents, and educators to facilitate open and positive conversations around the tricky topic of consent.
When it comes to sex, relationships, and consent, establishing boundaries and figuring out who you are and what you want is never simple--especially as a teenager. What's the line between a friendship and a romantic partner? How can you learn to trust your body's signals? And what if you're not quite sure what your sexuality is?
In this book, renowned celebrity M.D. Dr. Drew and his daughter Paulina Pinsky take on those awkward, incredibly important questions teens today are asking themselves and parents wish they had a better grasp on.
Filled with tangible and accessible resources, and featuring humorous and raw personal anecdotes, this is the perfect guide for teens, parents, and educators to go beyond "the talk" and dive into honest and meaningful conversations about sex, relationships, and consent.
When it comes to sex, relationships, and consent, establishing boundaries and figuring out who you are and what you want is never simple--especially as a teenager. What's the line between a friendship and a romantic partner? How can you learn to trust your body's signals? And what if you're not quite sure what your sexuality is?
In this book, renowned celebrity M.D. Dr. Drew and his daughter Paulina Pinsky take on those awkward, incredibly important questions teens today are asking themselves and parents wish they had a better grasp on.
Filled with tangible and accessible resources, and featuring humorous and raw personal anecdotes, this is the perfect guide for teens, parents, and educators to go beyond "the talk" and dive into honest and meaningful conversations about sex, relationships, and consent.
385 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 27, 2024
21 people are currently reading
229 people want to read
About the author
Drew Pinsky
14 books71 followersDavid Drew Pinsky, M.D., better known as Dr. Drew, is an American radio and television personality and board-certified internist and addiction medicine specialist. He is the host of the nationally syndicated radio talk show, Loveline, which he has hosted since 1984. On television he produces and hosts the VH1 show Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, its sibling shows Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew and Sober House, and the MTV show Sex...With Mom and Dad.
As a medical doctor, Pinsky is Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Keck School of Medicine at the University of Southern California, Medical Director for the Department of Chemical Dependency Services at Las Encinas Hospital in Pasadena, California, staff member at Huntington Memorial Hospital, and a private practitioner.
As a medical doctor, Pinsky is Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Keck School of Medicine at the University of Southern California, Medical Director for the Department of Chemical Dependency Services at Las Encinas Hospital in Pasadena, California, staff member at Huntington Memorial Hospital, and a private practitioner.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
March 3, 2021
I teach middle school, and I think this book will be important to kids. They can read bits and pieces about things that are concerning to them, or they can pick it up to read all the way through.
I am always a proponent of talking about Trust, Compassion, and Boundaries. They call it TCB throughout the book. These three things are the theme throughout the rest of the book as it focuses on the following:
Consent
Gender and sexuality
Relationships within your family, friends, and community
Romantic relationships and sex
Trauma
It's important for teenagers to understand and be exposed to these things early. I will certainly recommend it to my students, especially if they are struggling with any of these pieces and parts of their identity.
Much of the information is introductory/surface-level, but the material is good for students who haven't yet explored things like sexual orientation, gender, consent, etc. There are definitely parts of the book that sound like they are written with the privilege of an older white man, and I was agitated by some of the wording that was used because it felt out of touch with the Gen Z students who would be reading this. There are parts that seem to try too hard to be relevant, and the mark is missed. Even in Mississippi where Elvis was born and is worshiped, I am not sure kids would get the constant TCB reference. However, I feel like the parts where it is clear it is written by Paulina are much easier to read and focus on self-love and acceptance rather than silly phrases that are meant to resonate with students.
I am always a proponent of talking about Trust, Compassion, and Boundaries. They call it TCB throughout the book. These three things are the theme throughout the rest of the book as it focuses on the following:
Consent
Gender and sexuality
Relationships within your family, friends, and community
Romantic relationships and sex
Trauma
It's important for teenagers to understand and be exposed to these things early. I will certainly recommend it to my students, especially if they are struggling with any of these pieces and parts of their identity.
Much of the information is introductory/surface-level, but the material is good for students who haven't yet explored things like sexual orientation, gender, consent, etc. There are definitely parts of the book that sound like they are written with the privilege of an older white man, and I was agitated by some of the wording that was used because it felt out of touch with the Gen Z students who would be reading this. There are parts that seem to try too hard to be relevant, and the mark is missed. Even in Mississippi where Elvis was born and is worshiped, I am not sure kids would get the constant TCB reference. However, I feel like the parts where it is clear it is written by Paulina are much easier to read and focus on self-love and acceptance rather than silly phrases that are meant to resonate with students.
January 27, 2022
The authors’ hearts are in the right place and it’s a great mission to open up dialogue and be real. In terms of this particular book, I couldn’t really maintain momentum. If I am to be truly real about why, it’s partially because the insistence on non-binary pronouns in the majority of anecdotes seemed to make things unnecessarily confusing. When most interactions are between two “theys” it makes the actions hard to follow. My two cents, take it or leave it.
December 7, 2024
A good book for understanding consent and how to navigate relationships. I guess now is better than never to learn about TCB - trust compassion and boundaries.
Highlights from the book 📖
Be yourself. It'll attract the right person. The person who sees you for you.
A like is not chemistry. You may feel like it means everything but it means nothing.
What you can do is focus on yourself.
Remember to trust you will find someone who likes you for you, practice some self-compassion
Remember that you get to determine your boundaries when it comes to how you act around others
When someone is attracted to you they will find excuses to be in your orbit in ways that range from subtle to very obvious.
It's difficult to know if the other person is feeling what you're feeling.
Intimacy doesn't mean being close physically. It means deeply knowing another person and feeling deeply known yourself.
Love is made up of three components: intimacy, passion and commitment
Think about friendship boundaries: what do you need? Do you need space?
Trust has to be cultivated - it should not be automatically granted.
It's not always easy to see that a friendship is toxic. Ending a friendship is never easy.
Friendships that thrive have an open dialogue
I feel like you're drifting apart and it's breaking my heart. I'm unsure of what went wrong but I want to know. Will you tell me?
It is okay to ask her what you really need.
If the other person cares about you, they will respect your wishes and want to do what is best for you.
Friendships naturally morph, change and often drift apart
A 2009 Dutch study found that the average friendship lasts 7 years.
Accept that not everyone is going to be your friend
Be yourself - pretending to be someone else won't get you the kind of friends you really want
Trust is earned, not given
queerness has to do with sexual orientation rather than gender identity
Oulgbtq.org Oxford University LGBTQ+
People who identify as asexual may have romantic feelings for other people but they do not feel compelled to pursue sex in their relationships
Take the time to define what is attractive to you for yourself
Write five non-physical things that make someone compelling to you.
Here are a list of things I find hot: emotional intelligence, kindness, authenticity
Everyone finds different things attractive
Sexuality is a lifelong exploration
Gender is a spectrum
Gender is just one piece of your identity.
With whom do you form strong emotional bonds?
I'm proud of you for trying to express yourself.
You may begin to make conscious choices that take you in a direction in your appearance.
Feel a spontaneous urge to express your authentic self
You may begin to have strong feelings about whether the way you look on the outside matches how you feel on the inside
Pflag.org LGBTQ+
Focus on learning to connect with my emotions and to create boundaries. Except that it's okay to be not perfect.
Pay attention to other parts of myself and try new things.
I feel like what I'm doing has meaning
What mattered was that people saw me as I saw myself: a tireless healer
No one looking at me would know that I struggle with anxiety and obsessive compulsive traits. I have come to see these characteristics as a positive part of my identity as a doctor
No one single aspect of your life has to define you
Internalizing one's own racial identity is a conscious journey.
I didn't fit anywhere
Identity development is a lifelong process
Black indigenous or people of color b i p o c
Discovering your authentic self as a journey and you should expect to go down different parts of self-expression over your lifetime
Storytelling has the capacity to heal people just like doctors
What does feel good for you?
The problem starts when people do not ask for or give their consent
Balancing trust compassion and boundaries is key to healthy relationships. Practicing TCB in any relationship turns awkward and counters into a meaningful moment
Do you trust yourself? Do you have compassion for yourself? And are your boundaries intact?
People who are empathetic pick up on other people's feelings easily.
Boundaries are invisible protective lines around your feelings and your body that you create based on your experiences
Compassion is the ability to be open to the experiences of others without judgment or prejudice
Trusting someone means you know that you're feelings are valued and appreciated by the other person
Little signals are being sent: you are not prioritized.
Where there is mutual trust, compassion naturally follows, and boundaries are respected
Trust is the ability to feel safe in a relationship.
You look forward to spending time together. You care about them and trust that they care about you.
When trust compassion and boundaries are all in the right balance being with someone feels effortless.
You are relaxed about being yourself.
In a relationship 1 + 1 = 3.. that is you and someone else and a third element - the relationship.
Highlights from the book 📖
Be yourself. It'll attract the right person. The person who sees you for you.
A like is not chemistry. You may feel like it means everything but it means nothing.
What you can do is focus on yourself.
Remember to trust you will find someone who likes you for you, practice some self-compassion
Remember that you get to determine your boundaries when it comes to how you act around others
When someone is attracted to you they will find excuses to be in your orbit in ways that range from subtle to very obvious.
It's difficult to know if the other person is feeling what you're feeling.
Intimacy doesn't mean being close physically. It means deeply knowing another person and feeling deeply known yourself.
Love is made up of three components: intimacy, passion and commitment
Think about friendship boundaries: what do you need? Do you need space?
Trust has to be cultivated - it should not be automatically granted.
It's not always easy to see that a friendship is toxic. Ending a friendship is never easy.
Friendships that thrive have an open dialogue
I feel like you're drifting apart and it's breaking my heart. I'm unsure of what went wrong but I want to know. Will you tell me?
It is okay to ask her what you really need.
If the other person cares about you, they will respect your wishes and want to do what is best for you.
Friendships naturally morph, change and often drift apart
A 2009 Dutch study found that the average friendship lasts 7 years.
Accept that not everyone is going to be your friend
Be yourself - pretending to be someone else won't get you the kind of friends you really want
Trust is earned, not given
queerness has to do with sexual orientation rather than gender identity
Oulgbtq.org Oxford University LGBTQ+
People who identify as asexual may have romantic feelings for other people but they do not feel compelled to pursue sex in their relationships
Take the time to define what is attractive to you for yourself
Write five non-physical things that make someone compelling to you.
Here are a list of things I find hot: emotional intelligence, kindness, authenticity
Everyone finds different things attractive
Sexuality is a lifelong exploration
Gender is a spectrum
Gender is just one piece of your identity.
With whom do you form strong emotional bonds?
I'm proud of you for trying to express yourself.
You may begin to make conscious choices that take you in a direction in your appearance.
Feel a spontaneous urge to express your authentic self
You may begin to have strong feelings about whether the way you look on the outside matches how you feel on the inside
Pflag.org LGBTQ+
Focus on learning to connect with my emotions and to create boundaries. Except that it's okay to be not perfect.
Pay attention to other parts of myself and try new things.
I feel like what I'm doing has meaning
What mattered was that people saw me as I saw myself: a tireless healer
No one looking at me would know that I struggle with anxiety and obsessive compulsive traits. I have come to see these characteristics as a positive part of my identity as a doctor
No one single aspect of your life has to define you
Internalizing one's own racial identity is a conscious journey.
I didn't fit anywhere
Identity development is a lifelong process
Black indigenous or people of color b i p o c
Discovering your authentic self as a journey and you should expect to go down different parts of self-expression over your lifetime
Storytelling has the capacity to heal people just like doctors
What does feel good for you?
The problem starts when people do not ask for or give their consent
Balancing trust compassion and boundaries is key to healthy relationships. Practicing TCB in any relationship turns awkward and counters into a meaningful moment
Do you trust yourself? Do you have compassion for yourself? And are your boundaries intact?
People who are empathetic pick up on other people's feelings easily.
Boundaries are invisible protective lines around your feelings and your body that you create based on your experiences
Compassion is the ability to be open to the experiences of others without judgment or prejudice
Trusting someone means you know that you're feelings are valued and appreciated by the other person
Little signals are being sent: you are not prioritized.
Where there is mutual trust, compassion naturally follows, and boundaries are respected
Trust is the ability to feel safe in a relationship.
You look forward to spending time together. You care about them and trust that they care about you.
When trust compassion and boundaries are all in the right balance being with someone feels effortless.
You are relaxed about being yourself.
In a relationship 1 + 1 = 3.. that is you and someone else and a third element - the relationship.
March 10, 2021
Consent is something we begin teaching (or not) from the time our children first say that no, they don't want a hug. By the time kids are in middle school, they're finding themselves in situations where their peer to peer interactions are less supervised by adults and they, themselves, get to practice listening to and abiding by each other's desires for more, less, or no physical contact. So it's imperative that the have the language, self-knowledge, and support to make and respect boundaries with others.
As someone who works with youth and their families, I always stress that kids need multiple trusted adult friends before they enter puberty. They need caring grown-ups who will listen without judgment and provide wise counsel and a different perspective when teens don't feel free to go to their parents. Those conversation partners are non-negotiable.
Alongside supportive adults, this book by father and daughter pair, Drew Pinsky and Paulina Pinsky, can serve as a resource for youth to evaluate their needs and relationships around consent. The writing is way too folksy for my taste and the references to Elvis and Mae West were off-putting, but the information is solid. The layout invites readers to dip in and out of sections that apply to their particular question of the moment. We need more books like this written by and for people with different social locations, but this is a good contribution to church, school, and teen libraries.
As someone who works with youth and their families, I always stress that kids need multiple trusted adult friends before they enter puberty. They need caring grown-ups who will listen without judgment and provide wise counsel and a different perspective when teens don't feel free to go to their parents. Those conversation partners are non-negotiable.
Alongside supportive adults, this book by father and daughter pair, Drew Pinsky and Paulina Pinsky, can serve as a resource for youth to evaluate their needs and relationships around consent. The writing is way too folksy for my taste and the references to Elvis and Mae West were off-putting, but the information is solid. The layout invites readers to dip in and out of sections that apply to their particular question of the moment. We need more books like this written by and for people with different social locations, but this is a good contribution to church, school, and teen libraries.
February 2, 2021
This book was received as an ARC from Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Children's Book Group - HMH Books for Young Readers in exchange for an honest review. Opinions and thoughts expressed in this review are completely my own.
The first time I have heard of Dr. Drew was when he appeared on an episode of The Masked Singer dressed as The Eagle and he mentioned that he was the Psychologist to the Stars and he has his own podcast where Ken Jeong has filled in for him. But I loved how his daughter Paula also contributed given teens a sense of comfort and confidence to be open on the events described by Dr. Drew and Paula. Sex, relationships, consent and setting boundaries are never easy topics to talk about with anyone especially your parents but the humor and casual approach Paula and Dr. Drew have with one another is very inspiring as the reader to be more open about these topics with our parents and the icing on the cake is always incorporating their personal experiences with these topics.
We will consider adding this title to our Non-Fiction collection at our library. That is why we give this book 5 stars.
The first time I have heard of Dr. Drew was when he appeared on an episode of The Masked Singer dressed as The Eagle and he mentioned that he was the Psychologist to the Stars and he has his own podcast where Ken Jeong has filled in for him. But I loved how his daughter Paula also contributed given teens a sense of comfort and confidence to be open on the events described by Dr. Drew and Paula. Sex, relationships, consent and setting boundaries are never easy topics to talk about with anyone especially your parents but the humor and casual approach Paula and Dr. Drew have with one another is very inspiring as the reader to be more open about these topics with our parents and the icing on the cake is always incorporating their personal experiences with these topics.
We will consider adding this title to our Non-Fiction collection at our library. That is why we give this book 5 stars.
March 17, 2021
It Doesn’t Have To Be Awkward should have been a book around when I was younger. Honestly, many talks and books about consent and sexuality and relationships should have been around or introduced to my age level when I was younger.
Recommending this book will help someone break some cycles of hurt or confusion - in my opinion! This book talks about situations and asks the reader questions to help them understand or learn that some behaviour they have learned in our society or upbringing isn’t what we should act on. This book touches on relationships with parents, friends, yourself, your partner, gender, sexuality, bullying, media, abuse, substances and sex and shows both the good and bad that can and does happen; it doesn’t make it too dark to sugar coat it which is so important!
I will say, more inclusion with race discussion would be appreciated and could be in a follow-up (potential sequel) book with POC Authors and doctors!
The witty banter and culture reference make it cute and less awkward to read on a bright note.
Recommending this book will help someone break some cycles of hurt or confusion - in my opinion! This book talks about situations and asks the reader questions to help them understand or learn that some behaviour they have learned in our society or upbringing isn’t what we should act on. This book touches on relationships with parents, friends, yourself, your partner, gender, sexuality, bullying, media, abuse, substances and sex and shows both the good and bad that can and does happen; it doesn’t make it too dark to sugar coat it which is so important!
I will say, more inclusion with race discussion would be appreciated and could be in a follow-up (potential sequel) book with POC Authors and doctors!
The witty banter and culture reference make it cute and less awkward to read on a bright note.
October 9, 2021
A book not for my age bracket
I just picked up this book because I saw Dr. Drews name attached to it. I did not know anything about the book so I was unaware it was directed towards teens more than anything. With that being said, there is some useful information in the book covering topics that I am not the most well versed at such as gender identity and trans people. So even though I knew most of the other topics I still actually learned something from the book. And that’s the reason I read.
I just picked up this book because I saw Dr. Drews name attached to it. I did not know anything about the book so I was unaware it was directed towards teens more than anything. With that being said, there is some useful information in the book covering topics that I am not the most well versed at such as gender identity and trans people. So even though I knew most of the other topics I still actually learned something from the book. And that’s the reason I read.
May 5, 2022
This is definitely an interesting book. Even being not in my teens, it definitely had parts that really apply to all walks of life. Trust, Compassion and Boundaries will stick with me and definitely help me going forward.
It also think they explain the non-binary and trans- and a lot of others that I knew nothing about. It is something I didn't fully understand and knew only a little about, but this book gave good "definitions" and examples to really help me see different perspectives.
I didn't feel like I needed all of this but it was still a good listen. Very well done.
It also think they explain the non-binary and trans- and a lot of others that I knew nothing about. It is something I didn't fully understand and knew only a little about, but this book gave good "definitions" and examples to really help me see different perspectives.
I didn't feel like I needed all of this but it was still a good listen. Very well done.
March 4, 2022
Seriously where was this book when I was growing up!? This book is a beautiful collection of experience and research all put together in an easy to follow, approachable format. Covering a wide variety of topics that we ALL need to make sure we are versed in- whether we are in the thick of it ourselves or we are parents with kids who are in the thick of it. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.
March 21, 2024
This is a good read for teens and young adults, and it is full of useful advice. I’m not really the target audience, but it was engaging. Though, some of the stats in the last few chapters were not contextualized/under-explained and that threw me off.
July 10, 2022
This book is packed with valuable information and insight that everyone should know. It is geared more towards teens and young adults, and would be the perfect gift for any loved ones who are coming of age. It provides social, medical, and cultural insights into, and opens the door for, discussions that are often though of as awkward or uncomfortable.
June 8, 2025
definitely written more for high schoolers, but still good content here.
September 6, 2024
this is the best dad advice I ever got
thank u papa drew
thank u papa drew
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews