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If This Gets Out
Eighteen-year-olds Ruben Montez and Zach Knight are two members of the boy-band Saturday, one of the biggest acts in America. Along with their bandmates, Angel Phan and Jon Braxton, the four are teen heartbreakers in front of the cameras and best friends backstage. But privately, cracks are starting to form: their once-easy rapport is straining under the pressures of fame, and Ruben confides in Zach that he’s feeling smothered by management’s pressure to stay in the closet.
On a whirlwind tour through Europe, with both an unrelenting schedule and minimal supervision, Ruben and Zach come to rely on each other more and more, and their already close friendship evolves into a romance. But when they decide they’re ready to tell their fans and live freely, Zach and Ruben start to truly realize that they will never have the support of their management. How can they hold tight to each other when the whole world seems to want to come between them?
On a whirlwind tour through Europe, with both an unrelenting schedule and minimal supervision, Ruben and Zach come to rely on each other more and more, and their already close friendship evolves into a romance. But when they decide they’re ready to tell their fans and live freely, Zach and Ruben start to truly realize that they will never have the support of their management. How can they hold tight to each other when the whole world seems to want to come between them?
416 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 7, 2021
About the author
Sophie Gonzales
8 books2,786 followersSophie Gonzales writes young adult queer contemporary fiction with memorable characters, biting wit and endless heart.
She is the author of THE LAW OF INERTIA, ONLY MOSTLY DEVASTATED and PERFECT ON PAPER. IF THIS GETS (co-written with Cale Dietrich) is forthcoming in Fall 2021 from Wednesday Books / Macmillan.
When she isn’t writing, Sophie can be found ice skating, performing in musical theatre, and practicing the piano. She currently lives in Melbourne, Australia where she works as a psychologist.
She is represented by Jessica Mileo of Inkwell Management.
She is the author of THE LAW OF INERTIA, ONLY MOSTLY DEVASTATED and PERFECT ON PAPER. IF THIS GETS (co-written with Cale Dietrich) is forthcoming in Fall 2021 from Wednesday Books / Macmillan.
When she isn’t writing, Sophie can be found ice skating, performing in musical theatre, and practicing the piano. She currently lives in Melbourne, Australia where she works as a psychologist.
She is represented by Jessica Mileo of Inkwell Management.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 4,951 reviews
June 23, 2021
i can hear it now - the wild fangirling of every person who shipped each and every member of one direction. this book is totally for them.
im pretty sure this story isnt inspired by 1D (no references that i could find), but it isnt hard to make comparisons. honestly, being in a boyband (or anything in the entertainment industry) sounds like a nightmare, so it was very easy to sympathise with all four of the MCs. i enjoyed how they each discovered themselves, particularly zach, and fought to been seen and heard. the character development in this is seriously off the charts. and each of the boys feel so real, so likeable, so relatable.
im pretty sure everyone who picks up this book will become a stan of the boys in saturday. #zuban
thank you for the ARC, st. martins press/wednesday books!
↠ 4.5 stars
im pretty sure this story isnt inspired by 1D (no references that i could find), but it isnt hard to make comparisons. honestly, being in a boyband (or anything in the entertainment industry) sounds like a nightmare, so it was very easy to sympathise with all four of the MCs. i enjoyed how they each discovered themselves, particularly zach, and fought to been seen and heard. the character development in this is seriously off the charts. and each of the boys feel so real, so likeable, so relatable.
im pretty sure everyone who picks up this book will become a stan of the boys in saturday. #zuban
thank you for the ARC, st. martins press/wednesday books!
↠ 4.5 stars
January 19, 2023
Obviously I am not thinking about that obVioUSLy.
May 26, 2022
two boys, chilling in a boy band, five feet apart because they're not gay (but they are)
January 7, 2022
larr- I won't say it
May 11, 2021
what in the one direction fanfic—
Want to read
July 9, 2022I think I've seen this film before...
Want to read
January 21, 2021no one can convince me that this isn't about what I think it is...
October 8, 2020
As a directioner, I have never wanted to read something this much. Obviously this book is purely fictional but it still reminds me of a certain ship lmao. can't wait!!!
January 18, 2021
What in the larr-
Want to read
July 29, 2020HL... that’s all I’ve got to say
May 20, 2022
Ehh, mixed feelings I guess. The pacing felt really off. Also, not really a fan of the boys? They seemed a bit underdeveloped almost. Like, I barely have an idea who Jon and Angel really are.
January 20, 2022
A famous newly-found boy band. Four young members discovering stardom. Two teens taking the spotlight. With the rising love from their fans and an international European tour announced, these band members can be everything except their absolute true self.
Ruben, Spanish-American obsessed with musical theatre, must fit the image of a boy next door; Zach, a devoted son to his single mother, must be a leather-clad rebellious bad boy; Angel, Vietnamese-American not shy of being the wildest one, must take up the role of a sweet virgin; and Jon, biracial (Black-white) son of the band's manager, must separate his father from his boss. What unfolds as part of every management's ambition to paint a picture of their band instead of capturing it with all honesty, is heart wrenching. Especially when a strangled mental health is so evidently the result of the industry's problematic chase for reputation, fame, and perfection.
This is faithfully portrayed—being a celebrity in the music industry is not glamorous or fun. Keeping up a façade while being a small, always replaceable and rarely empathetically viewed, part of the humongous pop-culture factory is difficult and the story manages to consistently bring across that message. But the romance certainly takes a center stage. It unfolds with an undertone of finding a voice that aligns with their identity, and slides on tropes of best friends-to-lovers and a secret relationship.
Zach's internal monologue as he breaks the heteronormative conviction he has held on to for years; from his adorable admiration for a man's looks to the analysis he runs on the little crushes he has had in the past on other men, he's finding himself again. Ruben has always known his queer side but that must be kept under the wraps for the band's image. What starts with Zach realizing his feelings for Ruben, his closest friend ever since the band was formed, aren't strictly platonic is both soft and exciting to witness.
The complex characters showcase an incredibly sweet love story packed with formulaic but entertaining tropes that emotionally invest you. As the European tour begins, the tensions within the band builds and the members feel tired with their pretenses. Through alternating voices, written excellently and distinctively by the author duo, this contemporary delivers on the importance of a queer journey unraveling on one's own terms instead of being driven by industries or audiences, destigmatizing of mental health struggles, and dismantling the fear of 'if this gets out' in fan-driven narratives.
29.07.2020 A queer boy band romance. A queer boy band romance. A queer BOY BAND ROMANCE.
If This Gets Out is a young adult, queer contemporary romance between two members of a boy band.
Ruben, Spanish-American obsessed with musical theatre, must fit the image of a boy next door; Zach, a devoted son to his single mother, must be a leather-clad rebellious bad boy; Angel, Vietnamese-American not shy of being the wildest one, must take up the role of a sweet virgin; and Jon, biracial (Black-white) son of the band's manager, must separate his father from his boss. What unfolds as part of every management's ambition to paint a picture of their band instead of capturing it with all honesty, is heart wrenching. Especially when a strangled mental health is so evidently the result of the industry's problematic chase for reputation, fame, and perfection.
This is faithfully portrayed—being a celebrity in the music industry is not glamorous or fun. Keeping up a façade while being a small, always replaceable and rarely empathetically viewed, part of the humongous pop-culture factory is difficult and the story manages to consistently bring across that message. But the romance certainly takes a center stage. It unfolds with an undertone of finding a voice that aligns with their identity, and slides on tropes of best friends-to-lovers and a secret relationship.
Zach's internal monologue as he breaks the heteronormative conviction he has held on to for years; from his adorable admiration for a man's looks to the analysis he runs on the little crushes he has had in the past on other men, he's finding himself again. Ruben has always known his queer side but that must be kept under the wraps for the band's image. What starts with Zach realizing his feelings for Ruben, his closest friend ever since the band was formed, aren't strictly platonic is both soft and exciting to witness.
The complex characters showcase an incredibly sweet love story packed with formulaic but entertaining tropes that emotionally invest you. As the European tour begins, the tensions within the band builds and the members feel tired with their pretenses. Through alternating voices, written excellently and distinctively by the author duo, this contemporary delivers on the importance of a queer journey unraveling on one's own terms instead of being driven by industries or audiences, destigmatizing of mental health struggles, and dismantling the fear of 'if this gets out' in fan-driven narratives.
—if you wish to support: blog | ko-fi | twitter
29.07.2020 A queer boy band romance. A queer boy band romance. A queer BOY BAND ROMANCE.
July 13, 2023
Blessed. Super blessed. This is how it feels like to be blessed in 2021!
The boyband Saturday reminds me of Shinee so much!
Also, Ruben and Zach reminds me so much of MinKey (Minho and Kibum). Damn, I am so invested!
Damn.
I am fangirling K-pop so hard these days that this book is like the perfect 2021 gift for me!
I thoroughly enjoy the writing. It's upbeat, it's mellow at times and it's quite engaging. The emotions and the feels! I am so happy I read this book!
The characters are vivid and lively.
They are distinct and they have their say.
I love how the characters shine in their own unique ways.
Regarding the plot, it's simple yet captivating. I mean like queer love captivating. The emotional rollercoaster ride. Be ready for it. I am warning you.
I love the dynamics between the band members and how convincing the band management gets.
And yes, the shipping is real (I don't know our ships are aware of this or just not allowed to talk about it but the shipping thing gets real the more we ship).
And I really appreciate the alternating POV chapters from the two main characters. Bless you, author. This made my year.
FYI, it's a SLOW BURN romance. Like you would be walking through an entire desert with a stupid smile on your face the entire time thinking about the drops of water thrown to you bits by bit here and there. So, my point is, it's so worth it! I ship them so bad. They are so cute and damn good together.
I was like "please don't get over too soon" the entire time I was reading the book.
And I cannot wait to get a physical copy!
(Like, HELLO DECEMBER 2021, are you kidding me?)
The story showcase well what goes behind the glamorous lives of the singer celebrities.
Specially the strict rules and routine they have to follow.
And the things they have to put up with everyday; how crazy fans and paparazzi keep haunting them; how they try to be normal and how hard they try to look presentable.
And oh, Ruben, please do that thing on stage to see the reaction of Erin. Zach would love it.
Why the prejudice though, Erin?
This book is for someone who loves reading young adult in which the characters behave their age in a way that it's convincing, realistic and mature enough.
This book is for those who believes in the beauty of young love.
This book is for those who believes love is beyond and above all kinds of discriminations.
But most of all, this one is for you if you love following your favourite bands and such. This is perfect for you.
Things get so messed up somewhere (as it is bound to happen) but then, trust the author and her characters. I feel so blessed.
The adult characters are amazing as well! One of the best young adult books (almost a new adult) of the year no doubt. And some adult characters are downright unbearable. So well written I say!
I am in love with Ruben and Zach so much. I just cannot think of anything else at the moment. They are so my OTP.
The boyband Saturday reminds me of Shinee so much!
Also, Ruben and Zach reminds me so much of MinKey (Minho and Kibum). Damn, I am so invested!
Damn.
I am fangirling K-pop so hard these days that this book is like the perfect 2021 gift for me!
I thoroughly enjoy the writing. It's upbeat, it's mellow at times and it's quite engaging. The emotions and the feels! I am so happy I read this book!
The characters are vivid and lively.
They are distinct and they have their say.
I love how the characters shine in their own unique ways.
Regarding the plot, it's simple yet captivating. I mean like queer love captivating. The emotional rollercoaster ride. Be ready for it. I am warning you.
I love the dynamics between the band members and how convincing the band management gets.
And yes, the shipping is real (I don't know our ships are aware of this or just not allowed to talk about it but the shipping thing gets real the more we ship).
And I really appreciate the alternating POV chapters from the two main characters. Bless you, author. This made my year.
FYI, it's a SLOW BURN romance. Like you would be walking through an entire desert with a stupid smile on your face the entire time thinking about the drops of water thrown to you bits by bit here and there. So, my point is, it's so worth it! I ship them so bad. They are so cute and damn good together.
I was like "please don't get over too soon" the entire time I was reading the book.
And I cannot wait to get a physical copy!
(Like, HELLO DECEMBER 2021, are you kidding me?)
The story showcase well what goes behind the glamorous lives of the singer celebrities.
Specially the strict rules and routine they have to follow.
And the things they have to put up with everyday; how crazy fans and paparazzi keep haunting them; how they try to be normal and how hard they try to look presentable.
And oh, Ruben, please do that thing on stage to see the reaction of Erin. Zach would love it.
Why the prejudice though, Erin?
This book is for someone who loves reading young adult in which the characters behave their age in a way that it's convincing, realistic and mature enough.
This book is for those who believes in the beauty of young love.
This book is for those who believes love is beyond and above all kinds of discriminations.
But most of all, this one is for you if you love following your favourite bands and such. This is perfect for you.
Things get so messed up somewhere (as it is bound to happen) but then, trust the author and her characters. I feel so blessed.
The adult characters are amazing as well! One of the best young adult books (almost a new adult) of the year no doubt. And some adult characters are downright unbearable. So well written I say!
I am in love with Ruben and Zach so much. I just cannot think of anything else at the moment. They are so my OTP.
August 1, 2021
Thank you NetGalley and Wednesday Books for the eARC!
How do I even describe how it felt to read this book? When I first read the blurb of “If This Gets Out” I immediately wanted to read it, because it had all the tropes and topics I crave to read about in a book. A successful boy band that is playing the biggest venues, strong friendships, an LGBTQ+ representation, the best-friends-to-lovers trope with a forbidden love spin and a road-trip through Europe in form of the band’s tour. In short: This sounded too good to be true and I desperately wanted to read it!
Needless to say I was over the moon when I actually got an ARC! I was so ready to dive into this book, you have no idea! Of course I had very high expectations as well and I was a little worried the book wouldn’t be able to live up to them. Looking at it in retrospective, I shouldn’t have worried because this was perfect! I got everything I wanted and even more!
I adored how the close friendship between the band members was portrayed. They laughed and joked, they quarrelled and had arguments, but they were always watching out for each other as well. They were like a family and I lived and breathed for their interactions. Another aspect that was brought into the book were the relationships of the band members with their parents and I was more than just happy to read about actual parents that care about their kids and only want the best for them. Of course not all parents are alike and there was a representation of a dysfunctional parent-child relationship as well.
Truth be told, I was surprised about the sheer amount of serious topics that were addressed in “If This Gets Out”. Drug abuse, emotional abuse, power games, band/label dynamics, the pressure of being famous, band life, the dark side of the music industry and the branding of bands and their individual members that has nothing to do with the real person behind the scenes. And I didn’t even talk about Zach and Ruben’s relationship yet. Which was nothing but amazing!
I loved to see how the feelings of the two MCs slowly started to change and how their friendship grew into something more. It was really well done and I found myself smiling so often that it started to hurt. I shipped those two so hard it was almost like they were an actual couple and not just two fictional characters. Also can we talk about their awesome communication?! Sure, they both had troubles to put their feelings into words and sometimes there was some miscommunication but when push came to shove they always tried their best to talk things out. I can only imagine how hard it must be to realize you have feelings for your best friend, let alone to deal with the pressure of being famous and the fear of somebody finding out. To come out should always be up to you, no matter if you’re famous or not. So I could relate to Ruben and Zach’s struggle.
Their character arc was done so well, though, and I couldn’t help but cheer for them when they finally decided that they had enough and wanted to tackle their problems head-on. They were aware of the consequences but they knew they had to do it order to live the way they wanted to and to witness how they took control of their situation wasn’t just a sight to behold but it also had me at the edge of my seat crossing my fingers for all of them.
All told “If This Gets Out” was an amazing book that didn’t only live up to my high expectations but even managed to exceed them! Sophie Gonzales and Cale Dietrich succeeded to write a great story that addresses a lot of the issues people in the music industry have to face and they did it in a sensitive and respectful manner. The romance between Zach and Ruben was everything I ever wanted and even more and the Zuben ship is definitely one of my favourite ships now. ;-)
So if you’re a fan of music, if you ever shipped members of a band, if you’re a part of a fandom, if you like books that tackle serious issues, if you love the found-family trope, if you like character driven stories and enjoy great character arcs. Well, then I’m sure you’ll enjoy this immensely.
___________________________
I loved this SO MUCH, I can't even!!!
This was exactly what I needed and I'm so happy for everyone who's going to read this!
I know every reviewer thinks this is for all the Larry shippers out there, but if you're ARMY and love BTS:
Well, this one is also for you!!! ;-P <333
Full RTC soon!
For now I'll just enjoy the giddy happiness that comes after finishing a great book!
___________________________
I’m on BookTube now! =)
So I only have 14 days left before this ARC runs out and you can bet I'm SOOO going to use them!
I NEED to read this like i need the air to breathe and I already know this is going to be great!!! <333
I. AM. READY!!!! =)
for all the cuteness and especially for THIS:
_____________________________
OMG!!!
OMG!!!
Oh. My. Gosh!!!
I can't believe this book is a thing!
A band that's like a tight knit family and two of the band members become an actual m/m ship behind the scenes?!?!?!?!
AHHHHH!!
I NEED THIS!!
I'm so ready for this book!!
How do I even describe how it felt to read this book? When I first read the blurb of “If This Gets Out” I immediately wanted to read it, because it had all the tropes and topics I crave to read about in a book. A successful boy band that is playing the biggest venues, strong friendships, an LGBTQ+ representation, the best-friends-to-lovers trope with a forbidden love spin and a road-trip through Europe in form of the band’s tour. In short: This sounded too good to be true and I desperately wanted to read it!
Needless to say I was over the moon when I actually got an ARC! I was so ready to dive into this book, you have no idea! Of course I had very high expectations as well and I was a little worried the book wouldn’t be able to live up to them. Looking at it in retrospective, I shouldn’t have worried because this was perfect! I got everything I wanted and even more!
I adored how the close friendship between the band members was portrayed. They laughed and joked, they quarrelled and had arguments, but they were always watching out for each other as well. They were like a family and I lived and breathed for their interactions. Another aspect that was brought into the book were the relationships of the band members with their parents and I was more than just happy to read about actual parents that care about their kids and only want the best for them. Of course not all parents are alike and there was a representation of a dysfunctional parent-child relationship as well.
Truth be told, I was surprised about the sheer amount of serious topics that were addressed in “If This Gets Out”. Drug abuse, emotional abuse, power games, band/label dynamics, the pressure of being famous, band life, the dark side of the music industry and the branding of bands and their individual members that has nothing to do with the real person behind the scenes. And I didn’t even talk about Zach and Ruben’s relationship yet. Which was nothing but amazing!
I loved to see how the feelings of the two MCs slowly started to change and how their friendship grew into something more. It was really well done and I found myself smiling so often that it started to hurt. I shipped those two so hard it was almost like they were an actual couple and not just two fictional characters. Also can we talk about their awesome communication?! Sure, they both had troubles to put their feelings into words and sometimes there was some miscommunication but when push came to shove they always tried their best to talk things out. I can only imagine how hard it must be to realize you have feelings for your best friend, let alone to deal with the pressure of being famous and the fear of somebody finding out. To come out should always be up to you, no matter if you’re famous or not. So I could relate to Ruben and Zach’s struggle.
Their character arc was done so well, though, and I couldn’t help but cheer for them when they finally decided that they had enough and wanted to tackle their problems head-on. They were aware of the consequences but they knew they had to do it order to live the way they wanted to and to witness how they took control of their situation wasn’t just a sight to behold but it also had me at the edge of my seat crossing my fingers for all of them.
All told “If This Gets Out” was an amazing book that didn’t only live up to my high expectations but even managed to exceed them! Sophie Gonzales and Cale Dietrich succeeded to write a great story that addresses a lot of the issues people in the music industry have to face and they did it in a sensitive and respectful manner. The romance between Zach and Ruben was everything I ever wanted and even more and the Zuben ship is definitely one of my favourite ships now. ;-)
So if you’re a fan of music, if you ever shipped members of a band, if you’re a part of a fandom, if you like books that tackle serious issues, if you love the found-family trope, if you like character driven stories and enjoy great character arcs. Well, then I’m sure you’ll enjoy this immensely.
___________________________
I loved this SO MUCH, I can't even!!!
This was exactly what I needed and I'm so happy for everyone who's going to read this!
I know every reviewer thinks this is for all the Larry shippers out there, but if you're ARMY and love BTS:
Well, this one is also for you!!! ;-P <333
Full RTC soon!
For now I'll just enjoy the giddy happiness that comes after finishing a great book!
___________________________
I’m on BookTube now! =)
So I only have 14 days left before this ARC runs out and you can bet I'm SOOO going to use them!
I NEED to read this like i need the air to breathe and I already know this is going to be great!!! <333
I. AM. READY!!!! =)
for all the cuteness and especially for THIS:
_____________________________
OMG!!!
OMG!!!
Oh. My. Gosh!!!
I can't believe this book is a thing!
A band that's like a tight knit family and two of the band members become an actual m/m ship behind the scenes?!?!?!?!
AHHHHH!!
I NEED THIS!!
I'm so ready for this book!!
April 12, 2023
**4.5-stars**
🤍💙🎶🎵🤍💙🎶🎵🤍💙🎶🎵🤍💙🎶🎵🤍💙🎶🎵🤍
Ruben, Zach, Angel and Jon are all members of the American boy-band, Saturday.
This fabulous foursome is currently riding sky-high on the wings of their world-wide popularity, but their lives are not as carefree as they first appear.
The boys are fiercely controlled by their management company, pigeon-holing them into preordained personas that they are heavily pushed not to stray from.
Particularly struggling with this is Ruben, who is gay. He has been asking management to let him come out to their fans, but he is continually told that it isn't the right time.
Ruben feels stifled, like he is unable to be his true self in any public way. This fact is beginning to weigh heavily on him.
On a European tour, Ruben and Zach begin to grow closer as Ruben confides to Zach how he has been feeling. Zach, for his part, discovers he is feeling things for Ruben that he has never experienced before; at least not that he has admitted to himself.
As their friendship evolves into romance, they decide that they want to be able to live openly, not just with their friends and family, but with everyone; particularly with their fans.
It is clear this will never be acceptable to their management, however. What are they to do? They can't let down their best friends, Jon and Angel, sacrifices need to be made to be in a group, but how much is too much?
I really enjoyed my time reading If This Gets Out. I became so attached to these characters. The boys were all well-fleshed out and lovable in their own unique ways.
While this story is sticky sweet, it also explores a lot of challenging topics. I thought the authors beautifully blended the light-hearted aspects with the serious. It really is a well-rounded Contemporary.
I love stories featuring music, or musicians, so I had a feeling this one would work for me, but I was truly impressed with how deeply I came to care for these guys.
I will say, it did feel a little long to me, but in the end, that is a minor complaint compared to all the goodness I received within these pages.
Thank you so much to the publisher, Wednesday Books and Macmillan Audio, for providing me with copies to read and review.
I think this is a top-notch story and look forward to reading more from both of these authors. Also, if they could work together again, that would be so fantastic. Clearly, a great partnership!!!
🤍💙🎶🎵🤍💙🎶🎵🤍💙🎶🎵🤍💙🎶🎵🤍💙🎶🎵🤍
Ruben, Zach, Angel and Jon are all members of the American boy-band, Saturday.
This fabulous foursome is currently riding sky-high on the wings of their world-wide popularity, but their lives are not as carefree as they first appear.
The boys are fiercely controlled by their management company, pigeon-holing them into preordained personas that they are heavily pushed not to stray from.
Particularly struggling with this is Ruben, who is gay. He has been asking management to let him come out to their fans, but he is continually told that it isn't the right time.
Ruben feels stifled, like he is unable to be his true self in any public way. This fact is beginning to weigh heavily on him.
On a European tour, Ruben and Zach begin to grow closer as Ruben confides to Zach how he has been feeling. Zach, for his part, discovers he is feeling things for Ruben that he has never experienced before; at least not that he has admitted to himself.
As their friendship evolves into romance, they decide that they want to be able to live openly, not just with their friends and family, but with everyone; particularly with their fans.
It is clear this will never be acceptable to their management, however. What are they to do? They can't let down their best friends, Jon and Angel, sacrifices need to be made to be in a group, but how much is too much?
I really enjoyed my time reading If This Gets Out. I became so attached to these characters. The boys were all well-fleshed out and lovable in their own unique ways.
While this story is sticky sweet, it also explores a lot of challenging topics. I thought the authors beautifully blended the light-hearted aspects with the serious. It really is a well-rounded Contemporary.
I love stories featuring music, or musicians, so I had a feeling this one would work for me, but I was truly impressed with how deeply I came to care for these guys.
I will say, it did feel a little long to me, but in the end, that is a minor complaint compared to all the goodness I received within these pages.
Thank you so much to the publisher, Wednesday Books and Macmillan Audio, for providing me with copies to read and review.
I think this is a top-notch story and look forward to reading more from both of these authors. Also, if they could work together again, that would be so fantastic. Clearly, a great partnership!!!
April 23, 2023
One Direction if Harry and Louis were dating
Read
February 2, 2022Source of book: NetGalley (thank you)
Relevant disclaimers: none
Please note: This review may not be reproduced or quoted, in whole or in part, without explicit consent from the author.
I’ve recently drifted back to YA fantasy more by accident than design, but I think it kind of helps that the focus on YA fantasy tends to be the fantasy, rather than the, uh, YA? As in the protagonists are usually dealing with, like, the end of the world or falling in love with a mass-murdering faery god which, for some reason, feel more relatable to me than … err … just being a teenager? Which is what the protagonists of non-fantasy YA tend to be dealing with. And I am old. I am just so fucking old. It feels perilously close to voyeuristic, y’know?
I will admit I got old-feels a bit with If This Gets Out, but I actually really liked it. I think it helped that the protagonists were in what you might call a hyper-real situation in that they’re members of an internationally famous boyband. Although I do think the high-stakes conflict of boyband versus management versus public persona works super well as a stand-in for the general conflicts of adolescence: feeling controlled by those around you, trying to work out who you are, navigating the boundaries between public and private selves etc. etc. It is, of course, impossible to even hover gently around the topic of “boyband” without the long shadow of One Direction, but I think the book does a really good job of creating a sense of a band that is One Direction-ish while having its own identity. I guess it helps there are four members, not five, and it’s a lot more diverse. As well as, y’know, American rather British. And they got together at some kind of … music camp thing? What even is that? Instead of a reality TV show.
Anyway, the plot here is pretty much as advertised. Two members of a boyband fall in love with each other, while navigating the pressures of fame, and their increasingly controlling management. And while that sounds simple enough on the surface, it manages to cover a lot of ground—from race and sexuality to identity more broadly, growing up in general, toxic parents, mental health, substance abuse—and offers some fairly nuanced takes on all these issues. I will say, however, that while I liked the other band members were genuinely supportive of the protagonists and had clearly delineated personalities of their own (along with their own travails with management) but they felt, perhaps necessarily, more lightly sketched. Jon is the staid sensible one, who management wants to push as a sexy bad boy (despite his discomfort with this) and Angel is a wild and exuberant but forced into to play the virginal innocent (when he definitely isn’t). I really liked both of them, but where it potentially gets a little complicated is that Jon is biracial and Angel is Asian so having them mostly be the sensible one and the flighty one (who later ends up in rehab) gave me pause. It’s not that they felt tokenistic, so much as very obviously secondary?
As for the two main characters, they have a really lovely romance arc, but I think the book suffered slightly for me from Reuben feeling consistently like the better-realised character. And this might just be unfair of me: as we’ve established I’m old, so the whole coming to terms with your sexuality deal feels like … so much not a thing for me anymore? I know it was, once upon a time, but it’s almost like looking back on a completely different person. Reuben knows he’s gay and has been trying to come out publicly since he was sixteen (though management won’t let him) and so the complexities he’s navigating—of trying to be queer in a still prejudiced world—felt notably well-observed and recognisable to me:
Zach, by contrast, gets the baby queer arc. In the early part of the book he’s very much coming to terms with his own bisexuality, and there are elements of this that I also really liked. For example, there’s the way he sort of dodges the question in his own mind, pushing away intimacy with men he’s previously been attracted to, because queerness didn’t fit into the picture of himself the world had taught him to build. And the scene where he comes out to his mother (a genuinely supportive and loving character) ends up going quite badly in ways neither of them intended. They reconcile later but I liked the acknowledgment that coming out is hard and sometimes just … doesn’t go the way you’d hoped, even if you’re both good people who love each other very much. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a fictional representation of the well-meaning and liberal parent fucking up the coming out moment, not out of malice, but out of being human and a bit tired and not perfect all the time. Such scenes usually break down along “good person = handles it perfectly” versus “bad person = is awful” and I really appreciated that there was space for nuance here.
There is, in general, a lot of space for these kind of nuances in the book. Reuben never really has a reckoning with his toxic mother (and, oh boy, did his mother push some buttons for me: it’s really well done, but it’s … it’s a lot) nor is there a magic moment where she recognises that she may not, in fact, be an ideal parent: just like Zach’s mother explores the way loving people can fuck up occasionally, Reuben’s mother represents the reality that someone can sincerely love you and yet also be terribly, terribly destructive. Similarly, Angel’s substance abuse problems are alleviated with therapy but they aren’t waved away, and queer identity, in general, is allowed to be particular and messy and complicated.
Back to Zach, though, I do think having two characters at different places along the “where I am with queerness” spectrum was interesting and valuable. And Zach himself has the potential to be interesting: despite his bad boy image and his love of rock music, he’s actually a quiet, anxious, people-pleaser. Part of his arc is learning to stand up for himself—to fight for what he wants—and when he does it’s really satisfying. But, ye gods, is it a bit of palaver to get there. And I feel bad for saying this because I shouldn’t have been so frustrated with him because protagonists should be allowed to be flawed, even flawed in ways that making them exasperation and self-defeating. I mean, neurotic mess that I am, I have way more in common with Zach than I do with Ruben so maybe that’s why I kept wanting to pull Zach’s hair? But, honestly, I don’t think it was actually his flaws that were the issue: I think it’s that he never quite came together as character as coherently as Ruben did. He felt more like a collection of disparate pieces and, y’know, maybe that was part of the point: he is, after all, trying to work out who he wants to be. And, now I think about, I don’t really know many fully coherent eighteen-year-olds. Or indeed thirty-something-year-olds. But we pretend better, dammit.
I think it didn’t help that a lot of the romance plot, at least initially, sort of hinges on Zach being a bit of a dick? I think the section of the book I most struggled with was the first third, where Ruben and Zach share a drunken kiss, and then Zach has a massive freak out about it. And, while I am not grudging him the massive freak out, he is really awful to Ruben during this: refusing to talk about what happened, avoiding him, freezing him out, and (accidentally?) making snide remarks in public settings. Jon later tells Ruben that he, too, has been equally responsible for the tension, making digs of his own, but I never actually saw this on page? Or recognised it if I did, maybe because during this particularly sequence Ruben’s POV chapters are very focused on Zach, and Zach’s POV chapters are very focused on … Zach? And maybe that’s fair enough because Zach is working through his shit but … I don’t know. It felt very, very rough on Ruben, maybe because I have been the Ruben in that situation infinitely more than I’ve been the Zach. Of course, Zach is reacting in fear—which is understandable—but Ruben is reacting to Zach acting hurtfully towards him.
So this all felt uncomfortable and unbalanced to me, but I’m once again wondering if it’s an old person thing. Ruben and Zach do reconcile after some genuinely miserable chapters, but I honestly think Zach ot off lightly. Not that I think he behaved unforgivably and needed to grovel or be punished or anything—working through your shit is not a crime—but I think you can work through your hurt less horrendously hurtfully, and I don’t think Zach ever really acknowledges this, nor does Ruben confront him with it. Or God. Maybe it’s me again. Maybe I’m old AND MEAN.
My withering mortality and disproportionate litany of gripes aside, I did actually really like this book. Once Ruben and Zach get together, their relationship is super charming and authentic, and while there’s some conflict there, it never felt as forced as the post-kiss clusterfuck. Equally, the boyband context—and their management’s escalating abuses—created at atmosphere of genuine tension around both the relationship and the personal growth arcs. I was legit worried for these kids. While not every aspect of the book worked for me personally (sorry Zach) much of what it had to say about queer identity really spoke to me, like—err, this little reflection on, um, blowjobs, of all things:
It's moments like this—I mean, not literally about blowjobs, obviously, moments LIKE this—that gave this story its true depth and resonance for me, above and beyond any of the individual elements that I didn’t personally connect with.
Relevant disclaimers: none
Please note: This review may not be reproduced or quoted, in whole or in part, without explicit consent from the author.
I’ve recently drifted back to YA fantasy more by accident than design, but I think it kind of helps that the focus on YA fantasy tends to be the fantasy, rather than the, uh, YA? As in the protagonists are usually dealing with, like, the end of the world or falling in love with a mass-murdering faery god which, for some reason, feel more relatable to me than … err … just being a teenager? Which is what the protagonists of non-fantasy YA tend to be dealing with. And I am old. I am just so fucking old. It feels perilously close to voyeuristic, y’know?
I will admit I got old-feels a bit with If This Gets Out, but I actually really liked it. I think it helped that the protagonists were in what you might call a hyper-real situation in that they’re members of an internationally famous boyband. Although I do think the high-stakes conflict of boyband versus management versus public persona works super well as a stand-in for the general conflicts of adolescence: feeling controlled by those around you, trying to work out who you are, navigating the boundaries between public and private selves etc. etc. It is, of course, impossible to even hover gently around the topic of “boyband” without the long shadow of One Direction, but I think the book does a really good job of creating a sense of a band that is One Direction-ish while having its own identity. I guess it helps there are four members, not five, and it’s a lot more diverse. As well as, y’know, American rather British. And they got together at some kind of … music camp thing? What even is that? Instead of a reality TV show.
Anyway, the plot here is pretty much as advertised. Two members of a boyband fall in love with each other, while navigating the pressures of fame, and their increasingly controlling management. And while that sounds simple enough on the surface, it manages to cover a lot of ground—from race and sexuality to identity more broadly, growing up in general, toxic parents, mental health, substance abuse—and offers some fairly nuanced takes on all these issues. I will say, however, that while I liked the other band members were genuinely supportive of the protagonists and had clearly delineated personalities of their own (along with their own travails with management) but they felt, perhaps necessarily, more lightly sketched. Jon is the staid sensible one, who management wants to push as a sexy bad boy (despite his discomfort with this) and Angel is a wild and exuberant but forced into to play the virginal innocent (when he definitely isn’t). I really liked both of them, but where it potentially gets a little complicated is that Jon is biracial and Angel is Asian so having them mostly be the sensible one and the flighty one (who later ends up in rehab) gave me pause. It’s not that they felt tokenistic, so much as very obviously secondary?
As for the two main characters, they have a really lovely romance arc, but I think the book suffered slightly for me from Reuben feeling consistently like the better-realised character. And this might just be unfair of me: as we’ve established I’m old, so the whole coming to terms with your sexuality deal feels like … so much not a thing for me anymore? I know it was, once upon a time, but it’s almost like looking back on a completely different person. Reuben knows he’s gay and has been trying to come out publicly since he was sixteen (though management won’t let him) and so the complexities he’s navigating—of trying to be queer in a still prejudiced world—felt notably well-observed and recognisable to me:
Part of me wants to protect him from the realities of being queer, and how it changes things in a million subtle ways. How it always leaves you a little certain if things are fair, or if there’s a tiny, shred of hate underlying it all. How, much of the time, you can’t even call it out without turning people against you and calling you overly sensitive, because it can be so insidious, you’re the only one who notices it for what it is.
Zach, by contrast, gets the baby queer arc. In the early part of the book he’s very much coming to terms with his own bisexuality, and there are elements of this that I also really liked. For example, there’s the way he sort of dodges the question in his own mind, pushing away intimacy with men he’s previously been attracted to, because queerness didn’t fit into the picture of himself the world had taught him to build. And the scene where he comes out to his mother (a genuinely supportive and loving character) ends up going quite badly in ways neither of them intended. They reconcile later but I liked the acknowledgment that coming out is hard and sometimes just … doesn’t go the way you’d hoped, even if you’re both good people who love each other very much. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a fictional representation of the well-meaning and liberal parent fucking up the coming out moment, not out of malice, but out of being human and a bit tired and not perfect all the time. Such scenes usually break down along “good person = handles it perfectly” versus “bad person = is awful” and I really appreciated that there was space for nuance here.
There is, in general, a lot of space for these kind of nuances in the book. Reuben never really has a reckoning with his toxic mother (and, oh boy, did his mother push some buttons for me: it’s really well done, but it’s … it’s a lot) nor is there a magic moment where she recognises that she may not, in fact, be an ideal parent: just like Zach’s mother explores the way loving people can fuck up occasionally, Reuben’s mother represents the reality that someone can sincerely love you and yet also be terribly, terribly destructive. Similarly, Angel’s substance abuse problems are alleviated with therapy but they aren’t waved away, and queer identity, in general, is allowed to be particular and messy and complicated.
Back to Zach, though, I do think having two characters at different places along the “where I am with queerness” spectrum was interesting and valuable. And Zach himself has the potential to be interesting: despite his bad boy image and his love of rock music, he’s actually a quiet, anxious, people-pleaser. Part of his arc is learning to stand up for himself—to fight for what he wants—and when he does it’s really satisfying. But, ye gods, is it a bit of palaver to get there. And I feel bad for saying this because I shouldn’t have been so frustrated with him because protagonists should be allowed to be flawed, even flawed in ways that making them exasperation and self-defeating. I mean, neurotic mess that I am, I have way more in common with Zach than I do with Ruben so maybe that’s why I kept wanting to pull Zach’s hair? But, honestly, I don’t think it was actually his flaws that were the issue: I think it’s that he never quite came together as character as coherently as Ruben did. He felt more like a collection of disparate pieces and, y’know, maybe that was part of the point: he is, after all, trying to work out who he wants to be. And, now I think about, I don’t really know many fully coherent eighteen-year-olds. Or indeed thirty-something-year-olds. But we pretend better, dammit.
I think it didn’t help that a lot of the romance plot, at least initially, sort of hinges on Zach being a bit of a dick? I think the section of the book I most struggled with was the first third, where Ruben and Zach share a drunken kiss, and then Zach has a massive freak out about it. And, while I am not grudging him the massive freak out, he is really awful to Ruben during this: refusing to talk about what happened, avoiding him, freezing him out, and (accidentally?) making snide remarks in public settings. Jon later tells Ruben that he, too, has been equally responsible for the tension, making digs of his own, but I never actually saw this on page? Or recognised it if I did, maybe because during this particularly sequence Ruben’s POV chapters are very focused on Zach, and Zach’s POV chapters are very focused on … Zach? And maybe that’s fair enough because Zach is working through his shit but … I don’t know. It felt very, very rough on Ruben, maybe because I have been the Ruben in that situation infinitely more than I’ve been the Zach. Of course, Zach is reacting in fear—which is understandable—but Ruben is reacting to Zach acting hurtfully towards him.
So this all felt uncomfortable and unbalanced to me, but I’m once again wondering if it’s an old person thing. Ruben and Zach do reconcile after some genuinely miserable chapters, but I honestly think Zach ot off lightly. Not that I think he behaved unforgivably and needed to grovel or be punished or anything—working through your shit is not a crime—but I think you can work through your hurt less horrendously hurtfully, and I don’t think Zach ever really acknowledges this, nor does Ruben confront him with it. Or God. Maybe it’s me again. Maybe I’m old AND MEAN.
My withering mortality and disproportionate litany of gripes aside, I did actually really like this book. Once Ruben and Zach get together, their relationship is super charming and authentic, and while there’s some conflict there, it never felt as forced as the post-kiss clusterfuck. Equally, the boyband context—and their management’s escalating abuses—created at atmosphere of genuine tension around both the relationship and the personal growth arcs. I was legit worried for these kids. While not every aspect of the book worked for me personally (sorry Zach) much of what it had to say about queer identity really spoke to me, like—err, this little reflection on, um, blowjobs, of all things:
Nathaniel, a guy I was seeing for a while once, kind of expected me to be the one giving and even though it was never felt like I was doing the right thing if I instigated it. Like I was the good boyfriend thinking about the other person before myself, like I should. I guess it stuck because every time I’ve reached this sort of stage with a guy I’ve made sure I was the one giving. Out of all the things there is to do, that’s remained the most vulnerable for me. To just lie there and not give anything back. To somehow trust that I’ll still have worth to the other person if I’m not earning it.
It's moments like this—I mean, not literally about blowjobs, obviously, moments LIKE this—that gave this story its true depth and resonance for me, above and beyond any of the individual elements that I didn’t personally connect with.
January 20, 2022
WOW WOW WOW. THIS HAD MY BUSSY THROBBING AT 2 AM IN THE MORNING. I think its safe to say that this is now my FAVORITE ROMANCE BOOK OF ALL TIME. I had so many BOOKGASMS while reading this novel I was practically squealing more than reading. Thank you Sophie and Cale for blessing me with this jaw droopingly sexy Lgbtq+ read. The struggles of coming out and coming to terms with your sexuality were so beautifully portrayed that I almost cried. I felt like was reliving my own experiences that I had a year ago. It's been almost year since an lgbtq+book has gone viral on BookTok. And I believe that this book will be the next big thing. I promise you all that I won't stop posting about this fucking book until it has hit the NYT bestsellers list.
February 14, 2022
”Everyone wants the world to see them as they are. The truth isn’t the problem. The problem is that the world doesn’t always make the truth safe for us to share”.
If this gets out nos cuenta la historia de Saturday, una boy band que se ha vuelto muy famosa en los últimos años y que está compuesta por cuatro chicos: Jon, Angel, Zach y Ruben. Todo empieza cuando Saturday está terminando su tour por todo Estados Unidos y se está preparando para su primera gira por Europa. Aunque sus vidas parecen geniales, los cuatro, pero especialmente Ruben y Angel, están sintiendo desde hace un tiempo que su management no los deja ser realmente ellos mismos. Llega un momento en el que Zach (que siempre ha creído que es hetero) y Ruben (que es gay, pero a quien la disquera no le permite salir del clóset porque eso “perjudicaría” a la banda) se empiezan a acercar mucho más y su amistad se convierte en un romance. Sin embargo, con todas estas prohibiciones de su management y la confusión que siente Zach, la tensión en la banda se empieza a sentir y las ganas de rebelarse contra quienes los tienen atados van creciendo cada vez más.
Este es uno de los libros más tiernos que he leído en muchísimo tiempo. Desde la página uno, la historia de Ruben, Zach, Angel y Jon me cautivó y, literalmente, no fui capaz de dejar de leer hasta que acabé el libro. Todo empieza con el brillo y las sensaciones de una gira espectacular, de estar en la cima del mundo y de lo atrayente que es la fama, pero, poco a poco, empieza a aparecer el lado oscuro de la vida de los artistas y de cómo las manipulaciones de quienes los manejan pueden afectar todo lo que hacen y cómo viven. Y es precisamente ese contraste y las emociones tan humanas que se reflejan en el libro las que hacen que te involucres mucho con los personajes, sus caminos y sus historias.
Mientras leía, fui sintiendo absolutamente todo lo que sentían Ruben y Zach: ilusión, miedo, confusión, valentía, temor y, sobre todo, mucha confianza y amor. Me gustó muchísimo cómo los autores le dieron un toque súper realista a esta relación y cómo hicieron de Ruben y Zach dos personajes que se sentían como algo más que páginas en un libro. Sus reacciones, sentimientos y conversaciones los volvieron reales para mí y eso es algo que no tiene precio.
Obviamente no les puedo decir mucho más sin entrar en spoilers, pero sepan que este libro es precioso, te hace pensar en muchísimas cosas y, sobre todo, te deja con un sentimiento muy cálido y reconfortante a pesar de todas las malas jugadas que les hace su management a estos pobres chicos. ¡Léanlo! <3
If this gets out nos cuenta la historia de Saturday, una boy band que se ha vuelto muy famosa en los últimos años y que está compuesta por cuatro chicos: Jon, Angel, Zach y Ruben. Todo empieza cuando Saturday está terminando su tour por todo Estados Unidos y se está preparando para su primera gira por Europa. Aunque sus vidas parecen geniales, los cuatro, pero especialmente Ruben y Angel, están sintiendo desde hace un tiempo que su management no los deja ser realmente ellos mismos. Llega un momento en el que Zach (que siempre ha creído que es hetero) y Ruben (que es gay, pero a quien la disquera no le permite salir del clóset porque eso “perjudicaría” a la banda) se empiezan a acercar mucho más y su amistad se convierte en un romance. Sin embargo, con todas estas prohibiciones de su management y la confusión que siente Zach, la tensión en la banda se empieza a sentir y las ganas de rebelarse contra quienes los tienen atados van creciendo cada vez más.
Este es uno de los libros más tiernos que he leído en muchísimo tiempo. Desde la página uno, la historia de Ruben, Zach, Angel y Jon me cautivó y, literalmente, no fui capaz de dejar de leer hasta que acabé el libro. Todo empieza con el brillo y las sensaciones de una gira espectacular, de estar en la cima del mundo y de lo atrayente que es la fama, pero, poco a poco, empieza a aparecer el lado oscuro de la vida de los artistas y de cómo las manipulaciones de quienes los manejan pueden afectar todo lo que hacen y cómo viven. Y es precisamente ese contraste y las emociones tan humanas que se reflejan en el libro las que hacen que te involucres mucho con los personajes, sus caminos y sus historias.
Mientras leía, fui sintiendo absolutamente todo lo que sentían Ruben y Zach: ilusión, miedo, confusión, valentía, temor y, sobre todo, mucha confianza y amor. Me gustó muchísimo cómo los autores le dieron un toque súper realista a esta relación y cómo hicieron de Ruben y Zach dos personajes que se sentían como algo más que páginas en un libro. Sus reacciones, sentimientos y conversaciones los volvieron reales para mí y eso es algo que no tiene precio.
Obviamente no les puedo decir mucho más sin entrar en spoilers, pero sepan que este libro es precioso, te hace pensar en muchísimas cosas y, sobre todo, te deja con un sentimiento muy cálido y reconfortante a pesar de todas las malas jugadas que les hace su management a estos pobres chicos. ¡Léanlo! <3
December 21, 2021
Audiobook - 4 stars
Story - Eeeeee 2.5 stars
I guess this is a Larry fanfic. All I can say is that there is a lot of amazing Larry fics over at A03 and Youtube compilation that can make your heart melt. Yeah!! I know! I was once a shipper. 😭😭🙈🙈
Nothing really happens in this book. I was waiting for some magic but it never came.
Zach and Ruben were just there. By the end of the book, I didn't really know them. They had no distinct personalities. At some point I couldn't tell who was who, the POVs were so similar. All the drama llama and the Label stuff was exhausting.
I stayed for Angel. 🤩🤩 He gets the best supporting character award.
Overall, It was Meh! 😪😪
Story - Eeeeee 2.5 stars
I guess this is a Larry fanfic. All I can say is that there is a lot of amazing Larry fics over at A03 and Youtube compilation that can make your heart melt. Yeah!! I know! I was once a shipper. 😭😭🙈🙈
Nothing really happens in this book. I was waiting for some magic but it never came.
Zach and Ruben were just there. By the end of the book, I didn't really know them. They had no distinct personalities. At some point I couldn't tell who was who, the POVs were so similar. All the drama llama and the Label stuff was exhausting.
I stayed for Angel. 🤩🤩 He gets the best supporting character award.
Overall, It was Meh! 😪😪
Want to read
April 22, 2021Oh my god, two members in a boy band falling in love THIS IS EVERYTHING
February 12, 2022
If This Gets Out was exactly what I wanted it to be. The perfect blend of romance and exploring the pressures and issues faced by someone in the boys’ position: pressure from their label, hiding their identities and relationship, the stress of touring and a sudden rise to fame.
If you know anything about my taste in books you know that characters are my favourite part of a book but also what I’m most critical of. They have to be done right. They have to feel fleshed out and real. And I’m pleased to say that If This Gets Out did not disappoint on that front. Each of our narrators, Zach and Ruben, had distinct voices and personalities that informed their decisions and interactions. The rest of the band, too, were given depth and I felt that this was what made the book work so well. The characters were given agency in a way that some celebrities such as themselves are not seen to have through their label and the fan perspective. This is explored in the novel through the label’s forcing of certain personality types on the boys, even when that directly contrasts their actual personalities and the rest of the world unknowingly accepting these lies. This overall made the boys and their problems feel all the more tangible and real, as if we were getting a peek into their real lives, behind the curtains.
On that note, I loved that this book didn’t shy away from showing the truth and criticising the music industry. It explored themes of drug abuse, manipulation, exploitation and forced closeting with sensitivity. In particular, I loved that the boys got to own their coming out and it brought me so much joy. Without giving too much away, seeing everything come together in the end was just so wonderful and I flew through the second half of the book in one sitting. I also appreciated that the boys acknowledged the privilege of their position at the same time as criticising it.
I just really enjoyed all four boys’ relationship with each other. The authors did a fantastic job of conveying a years long friendship and everything that goes with that, from a shared understanding and humour to knowing exactly how to hurt one another. In particular, I loved Ruben and Zach’s relationship. I am a sucker for characters being soft with one another, particularly when they’re in as harsh and difficult an environment as in the book. Reading about them falling in love was a joy. I loved the trust and support in their relationship, and the development they underwent together.
Overall, If This Gets Out combines some of my favourite things in a book: friendship, queer romance and angst into a wonderful coming of age story. It has boyband drama, criticisms of the music industry, commentary on fandom and so much more. I had an amazing time reading this and highly recommend it!
Sidenote: I see this book called “One Direction fanfic” over and over again and I really think you’re doing it a disservice with that. These characters are so completely their own and this book deals with such important themes that writing it off as “published fanfiction” is unfair. Not every boyband story is about 1D! Fandom and fanfiction about boybands and shipping boyband members existed long before 1D rose to fame. Let’s not attack the authors or diminish their hard work just because you can’t let go of a fictional relationship that should have stayed in 2012.
I also talk about books here: youtube | instagram | twitter
*eARC received in exchange for an honest review via Netgalley*
If you know anything about my taste in books you know that characters are my favourite part of a book but also what I’m most critical of. They have to be done right. They have to feel fleshed out and real. And I’m pleased to say that If This Gets Out did not disappoint on that front. Each of our narrators, Zach and Ruben, had distinct voices and personalities that informed their decisions and interactions. The rest of the band, too, were given depth and I felt that this was what made the book work so well. The characters were given agency in a way that some celebrities such as themselves are not seen to have through their label and the fan perspective. This is explored in the novel through the label’s forcing of certain personality types on the boys, even when that directly contrasts their actual personalities and the rest of the world unknowingly accepting these lies. This overall made the boys and their problems feel all the more tangible and real, as if we were getting a peek into their real lives, behind the curtains.
On that note, I loved that this book didn’t shy away from showing the truth and criticising the music industry. It explored themes of drug abuse, manipulation, exploitation and forced closeting with sensitivity. In particular, I loved that the boys got to own their coming out and it brought me so much joy. Without giving too much away, seeing everything come together in the end was just so wonderful and I flew through the second half of the book in one sitting. I also appreciated that the boys acknowledged the privilege of their position at the same time as criticising it.
I just really enjoyed all four boys’ relationship with each other. The authors did a fantastic job of conveying a years long friendship and everything that goes with that, from a shared understanding and humour to knowing exactly how to hurt one another. In particular, I loved Ruben and Zach’s relationship. I am a sucker for characters being soft with one another, particularly when they’re in as harsh and difficult an environment as in the book. Reading about them falling in love was a joy. I loved the trust and support in their relationship, and the development they underwent together.
Overall, If This Gets Out combines some of my favourite things in a book: friendship, queer romance and angst into a wonderful coming of age story. It has boyband drama, criticisms of the music industry, commentary on fandom and so much more. I had an amazing time reading this and highly recommend it!
Sidenote: I see this book called “One Direction fanfic” over and over again and I really think you’re doing it a disservice with that. These characters are so completely their own and this book deals with such important themes that writing it off as “published fanfiction” is unfair. Not every boyband story is about 1D! Fandom and fanfiction about boybands and shipping boyband members existed long before 1D rose to fame. Let’s not attack the authors or diminish their hard work just because you can’t let go of a fictional relationship that should have stayed in 2012.
I also talk about books here: youtube | instagram | twitter
*eARC received in exchange for an honest review via Netgalley*
April 20, 2022
For boy band fans. Or haters. For fans secretly hoping for a love story between two bandmates. Or just fans of queer love stories.
I loved Only Mostly Devastated. I didn’t know what to think of The Friend Scheme. Perfect on Paper was nice. And If This Gets Out? It’s so good! On the surface, the story feels like a light and fluffy read, following a boy band on their tour through Europe, where two band members fall in love with each other. It could be just an in-between. A sweet rom-com. A beach read. A cheesy YA. But it’s not. There’s so much going on between the lines, and If This Gets Out tackles so many important topics.
I never liked boy bands. The smooth, too perfect faces. The polished, clean music. The hysterical fans. Archetypes like the bad boy, the boy next door etc. Having to be mass-appealing. The entourage. Until one of the band members suddenly falls off their pedestal. Hard ...
And that’s just what this story is about. Everything in the lives of Ruben, Zack, Jon and Angel is arranged. How they should look, what music they should sing, which moves they should make, what they should say. And coming out to the outside world is not an option.
So, even though he’s out, Ruben is hiding that he’s gay. And when Zack starts doubting his sexuality, he’s got no one to talk to. And when the two of them end up together, nobody outside their bubble can know.
This story is not only about two queer boys in a boy band. It’s also about the band itself, the pressure from their management and record company, even from some parents. Living in hotel rooms day after day, not having free time—like ever, being told what to wear—not their choice, being monitored—continuously, the tabloids making things up—or not. Pressure, pressure and more pressure. And let’s face it, they’re still just eighteen-year-olds.
Cale Dietrich and Sophie Gonzales did a wonderful job showing us the world of boy bands and in general the exploit in the music industry. Is it weird that cracks start to form in nearly all boy bands, including Saturday? Eating disorders, feeling suffocated, drug and alcohol abuse, anger issues, extreme fatigue. It’s almost inevitable that one of them falls off their pedestal in the end, right?
Like I said above, I loved the book and I really, really hope Cale Dietrich and Sophie Gonzales will collaborate in a second book. Because I think they bring out the best in each other!
I received an ARC from Wednesday Books (St. Martin’s Press) and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
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I loved Only Mostly Devastated. I didn’t know what to think of The Friend Scheme. Perfect on Paper was nice. And If This Gets Out? It’s so good! On the surface, the story feels like a light and fluffy read, following a boy band on their tour through Europe, where two band members fall in love with each other. It could be just an in-between. A sweet rom-com. A beach read. A cheesy YA. But it’s not. There’s so much going on between the lines, and If This Gets Out tackles so many important topics.
I never liked boy bands. The smooth, too perfect faces. The polished, clean music. The hysterical fans. Archetypes like the bad boy, the boy next door etc. Having to be mass-appealing. The entourage. Until one of the band members suddenly falls off their pedestal. Hard ...
And that’s just what this story is about. Everything in the lives of Ruben, Zack, Jon and Angel is arranged. How they should look, what music they should sing, which moves they should make, what they should say. And coming out to the outside world is not an option.
So, even though he’s out, Ruben is hiding that he’s gay. And when Zack starts doubting his sexuality, he’s got no one to talk to. And when the two of them end up together, nobody outside their bubble can know.
This story is not only about two queer boys in a boy band. It’s also about the band itself, the pressure from their management and record company, even from some parents. Living in hotel rooms day after day, not having free time—like ever, being told what to wear—not their choice, being monitored—continuously, the tabloids making things up—or not. Pressure, pressure and more pressure. And let’s face it, they’re still just eighteen-year-olds.
Cale Dietrich and Sophie Gonzales did a wonderful job showing us the world of boy bands and in general the exploit in the music industry. Is it weird that cracks start to form in nearly all boy bands, including Saturday? Eating disorders, feeling suffocated, drug and alcohol abuse, anger issues, extreme fatigue. It’s almost inevitable that one of them falls off their pedestal in the end, right?
Like I said above, I loved the book and I really, really hope Cale Dietrich and Sophie Gonzales will collaborate in a second book. Because I think they bring out the best in each other!
I received an ARC from Wednesday Books (St. Martin’s Press) and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
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June 16, 2022
I have pretty mixed thoughts on this one, if I'm being honest. As a die hard Directioner, I was DESPERATE to read this book, but when I finally got my hands on it, it didn't quite match up with what I was hoping it would be. While I *loved* the dynamic between all the boys and the (mostly?) realistic seeming portrayal of what it can be like behind the scenes to be in a hugely popular boyband, this book just felt way, WAY too long. Even though I was totally absorbed in the relationship between Ruben and Zach, because the book has such a heavy tone, this really ended up feeling like a slog through a lot of the middle and I am so bummed about it. With all that being said, I do definitely still recommend this book (especially to my fellow boyband fans!). I just recommend going into it minding the content warnings beforehand.
CW: homophobia, underage drinking, drug use, verbally abusive parents/authority figures
CW: homophobia, underage drinking, drug use, verbally abusive parents/authority figures
May 3, 2021
🎸 Full review posted! 🎸
Based on the synopsis, I expected If this Gets Out to be a boyband rom-com involving a secret relationship between members. What I never anticipated was for it to deliver such hard-hitting themes involving exploitation in the music industry. This was such a powerful story, and I have nothing but praise for it.
~★~ What is this book about? ~★~
As a member of the wildly popular boyband Saturday, Ruben has gotten used to his management team controlling every aspect of his life. During Saturday’s European tour, the constant pressure to perform leads Ruben and his fellow bandmate Zach to rely on each other more than ever, to the point where they find themselves involved in a behind the scenes romance. The two eventually agree that they want to be honest with their fans and come out publicly, but their relationship begins to falter when they find out management never intends to give them the green light.
~★~
If This Gets Out exceeded my every expectation; I adored Rhuben, Zach, Jon and Angel with my whole heart. Their friendship—which went through several ups and downs—felt incredibly real. Angel’s sense of humour in particular was definitely a bright spot for me, I couldn’t get enough of it. His playful banter with the rest of the group (especially upon finding out about Ruben and Zach’s relationship) was everything!
The romance developed at an impeccable pace. Zach coming to terms with his sexuality paired with the details of Ruben’s past created the perfect amount of tension and buildup between them. Soon enough, though, I realized that this story is so much more than just a romance. Ruben and Zach are constantly navigating the confines of their company contracts, searching for the wiggle room that allows them to freely express themselves in public. Even moreso, the depiction of Angel’s mental health battle shook me to my core. Nothing ever felt rushed or out of place, and I found myself very pleased with the way the story wrapped up.
I could continue to sing my praises about this book, but I’m too busy smiling about it to write anything more. If This Gets Out definitely delivers its promised heartwarming romance, but in the end leaves you with so much more to love.
Endless thanks to Netgalley and Wednesday Books for sending me an arc!
Based on the synopsis, I expected If this Gets Out to be a boyband rom-com involving a secret relationship between members. What I never anticipated was for it to deliver such hard-hitting themes involving exploitation in the music industry. This was such a powerful story, and I have nothing but praise for it.
~★~ What is this book about? ~★~
As a member of the wildly popular boyband Saturday, Ruben has gotten used to his management team controlling every aspect of his life. During Saturday’s European tour, the constant pressure to perform leads Ruben and his fellow bandmate Zach to rely on each other more than ever, to the point where they find themselves involved in a behind the scenes romance. The two eventually agree that they want to be honest with their fans and come out publicly, but their relationship begins to falter when they find out management never intends to give them the green light.
~★~
If This Gets Out exceeded my every expectation; I adored Rhuben, Zach, Jon and Angel with my whole heart. Their friendship—which went through several ups and downs—felt incredibly real. Angel’s sense of humour in particular was definitely a bright spot for me, I couldn’t get enough of it. His playful banter with the rest of the group (especially upon finding out about Ruben and Zach’s relationship) was everything!
The romance developed at an impeccable pace. Zach coming to terms with his sexuality paired with the details of Ruben’s past created the perfect amount of tension and buildup between them. Soon enough, though, I realized that this story is so much more than just a romance. Ruben and Zach are constantly navigating the confines of their company contracts, searching for the wiggle room that allows them to freely express themselves in public. Even moreso, the depiction of Angel’s mental health battle shook me to my core. Nothing ever felt rushed or out of place, and I found myself very pleased with the way the story wrapped up.
I could continue to sing my praises about this book, but I’m too busy smiling about it to write anything more. If This Gets Out definitely delivers its promised heartwarming romance, but in the end leaves you with so much more to love.
Endless thanks to Netgalley and Wednesday Books for sending me an arc!
May 18, 2021
500 stars. This book is fucking AMAZING!
January 17, 2022
rep: gay Spanish American mc, bi mc with an eating disorder, biracial Black character, Vietnamese character
tw: abusive parents, homophobia, drugs & alcohol use
ARC provided by the publisher.
If This Gets Out is one of those books that punches you right in the stomach, exactly where it hurts, but in the end it helps you get up. There’s so much hope in it, despite all the ugly real-life stuff the characters have to deal with. It’s a true roller-coaster of emotions, but it’s also very gentle.
If This Gets Out is about two boys in a boysband who fall for each other, but really it’s about figuring out who you are when everyone around you wants you to be someone specific; about fighting for the things (and people) that matter to you (and sometimes that means fighting for yourself); about all the ways in which your friends’ support might actually save your life.
Personally I also really appreciated the portrayal of a toxic, abusive mother, and how dealing with someone like that your whole life shapes you as a person; how it rattles your brain forever. The way that specific arc ended made something warm and beautiful bloom in my chest.
A little gift of a book, making teens feel seen and, even more importantly, loved. Unconditionally.
tw: abusive parents, homophobia, drugs & alcohol use
ARC provided by the publisher.
If This Gets Out is one of those books that punches you right in the stomach, exactly where it hurts, but in the end it helps you get up. There’s so much hope in it, despite all the ugly real-life stuff the characters have to deal with. It’s a true roller-coaster of emotions, but it’s also very gentle.
If This Gets Out is about two boys in a boysband who fall for each other, but really it’s about figuring out who you are when everyone around you wants you to be someone specific; about fighting for the things (and people) that matter to you (and sometimes that means fighting for yourself); about all the ways in which your friends’ support might actually save your life.
Personally I also really appreciated the portrayal of a toxic, abusive mother, and how dealing with someone like that your whole life shapes you as a person; how it rattles your brain forever. The way that specific arc ended made something warm and beautiful bloom in my chest.
A little gift of a book, making teens feel seen and, even more importantly, loved. Unconditionally.
March 13, 2022
THIS BOOK LITERALLY JUST SAID SECRET BOYBAND ROMANCES!!! THIS IS THE STUFF OF DREAMS AND FANFICTION!!! MY FANGIRL HEART IS BEATING SO QUICKLY!! I CAN’T WAIT!
March 7, 2022
Hi y'all! I AM BACK AND RECOVERED FROM MY MONTHS AND MONTHS LONG READING SLUMP! So naturally, I picked up my most anticipated book to cure me and I have a lot of thoughts... Not in the best way though. I was so excited for If This Gets Out but it kind of let me down. 3 stars for this story.
If This Gets Out is about a boyband called Saturday and more specifically about two of its members: Zach and Ruben. BEWARE SPOILERS! Zach is out to his friends and family and wants nothing else than to be out towards the world as well. Zach seemed to be straight in the beginning of the book... Actually he was showing a lot of signs he wasn't 100% straight. Both of them have a tight friendship from the start. That friendship ofcourse blooms into a relationship. However as soon as they come out to their management, they try to sabotage their relationship in order to "preserve" the band's success rate. Ruben as well as Zach need to step up in order to be themselves and save their own identities.
This summary probably sounds a bit simplistic (because A LOT happens in this book) but I do not want to give everything away. My personal thoughts however... I think it is honest to say that I was dissapointed in this book. There were a lot of cute moments but also a lot of cringy stuff or even unrealistic? I know it is fiction but some aspects really bothered me. It is also fair to say that I DID enjoy the first half of the book where both boys were growing towards each other but the story wasn't interesting enough throughout their journey. Also, another problem is that I didn't particularly LOVE or LIKE Zach or even Ruben. Their characterization was pretty bland as well. Sure they had personalities but it was really superficial in my opinion. I just didn't care enough for them. It would have been a more interesting dynamic tbh if the guys were in their mid-twenties instead of 18 year olds. They sure acted more grown up than a general 18 year old. Which is sometimes a problem in order to have relatable characters.
There were other elements beside Ruben and Zach as well. Like the whole music business world and how artists are exploited by their management and so on. I felt at some points it was lacking real substance. It was more of an adult vs. "kids" story where the adults were clearly the bad guys. Angel's addiction wasn't properly handled in the story as well. Everything felt almost "too simplistic". The writing wasn't that great either. It felt like a fanfiction about two real life bandmembers a lot of the time. The parts that made me kinda cringey were like fan talk. You know? The kinda talk that you only type ONLINE because there is a reason why you don't say it out loud? Maybe I alone found it annoying and it was personal. Another thing that truly bothered me was that ending? What was that? I was truly surprised that the next page were the acknowledgements already? I know open endings exist but damn it feels like this book isn't properly finished.
These were my honest thoughts about the book. If you love boybands, this book is clearly something for you. Maybe I have grown out of these types of stories? Or maybe I am reading too much into it? Who knows? Still I appreciated Cale and Sophie's idea regarding If This Gets Out so hence the 3 star rating.
If This Gets Out is about a boyband called Saturday and more specifically about two of its members: Zach and Ruben. BEWARE SPOILERS! Zach is out to his friends and family and wants nothing else than to be out towards the world as well. Zach seemed to be straight in the beginning of the book... Actually he was showing a lot of signs he wasn't 100% straight. Both of them have a tight friendship from the start. That friendship ofcourse blooms into a relationship. However as soon as they come out to their management, they try to sabotage their relationship in order to "preserve" the band's success rate. Ruben as well as Zach need to step up in order to be themselves and save their own identities.
This summary probably sounds a bit simplistic (because A LOT happens in this book) but I do not want to give everything away. My personal thoughts however... I think it is honest to say that I was dissapointed in this book. There were a lot of cute moments but also a lot of cringy stuff or even unrealistic? I know it is fiction but some aspects really bothered me. It is also fair to say that I DID enjoy the first half of the book where both boys were growing towards each other but the story wasn't interesting enough throughout their journey. Also, another problem is that I didn't particularly LOVE or LIKE Zach or even Ruben. Their characterization was pretty bland as well. Sure they had personalities but it was really superficial in my opinion. I just didn't care enough for them. It would have been a more interesting dynamic tbh if the guys were in their mid-twenties instead of 18 year olds. They sure acted more grown up than a general 18 year old. Which is sometimes a problem in order to have relatable characters.
There were other elements beside Ruben and Zach as well. Like the whole music business world and how artists are exploited by their management and so on. I felt at some points it was lacking real substance. It was more of an adult vs. "kids" story where the adults were clearly the bad guys. Angel's addiction wasn't properly handled in the story as well. Everything felt almost "too simplistic". The writing wasn't that great either. It felt like a fanfiction about two real life bandmembers a lot of the time. The parts that made me kinda cringey were like fan talk. You know? The kinda talk that you only type ONLINE because there is a reason why you don't say it out loud? Maybe I alone found it annoying and it was personal. Another thing that truly bothered me was that ending? What was that? I was truly surprised that the next page were the acknowledgements already? I know open endings exist but damn it feels like this book isn't properly finished.
These were my honest thoughts about the book. If you love boybands, this book is clearly something for you. Maybe I have grown out of these types of stories? Or maybe I am reading too much into it? Who knows? Still I appreciated Cale and Sophie's idea regarding If This Gets Out so hence the 3 star rating.
June 27, 2021
i am deceased i cant wait when is this coming out
_______________________
I GOT THE ARC BITCHES WOOHOOOOO
_______________________
okay so before i start this review, two words: boyband romcom
bought this book yet? bc you totally should.
soooo it took me a long time even after getting an arc for this one to start it which was totally stupid of me considering how much i loved Only Mostly Devastated and what an amazing book this was.
Ruben, Zach, Jon and Angel are members of a popular boyband, Saturday. Ruben's known he was gay for a long time but was always pressured to keep it a secret by the management team of Saturday. He always kept quiet, put on a fake smile and let the media talk about the girls he was dating but then, while touring through Europe, he starts feeling for his bandmate, Zach.
Zach was more of the artsy type, he loved writing lyrics to his own songs and dance along to rock beats, but pressured by the management team, he was always pushed over and shown to the audience outside, as the broody one who loved pop.
After a drunken encounter, Zach finds out revelations about himself that are new and exhilarating. He doesn't know where he's gonna go from after this, only that whatever lays forward, he wants to go there with Ruben.
Zach and Ruben made such an adorable couple. their romance was full of sneaky touches, handholding under the blanket, sneaking off to the terrace and making out under the stars and so much more. also, their romance totally slow burn (like not mz slow burn but still)
also, Anjon (Angel and Jon) are two people I NEED A BOOK ABOUT!!! they were such cuties with their constant bickering and Jon going all mother hen over him. they were both too going through so much pressure, all put upon them by, once again, the management team.
i loved how a lot of real issues were also addressed in the book like coming out, the pressure being put upon them by the management team, always being told no for what they want, being monitored all the time, not even being able to wear what they want, and even how the boys turn to alcohol and drugs as an outlet.
overall, If This Gets Out was a wonderful read full of things i loved. the reason i cut off a star is bc i needed more from that ending and maybe a thing or two in the middle. other than that, this was one perfect read and i cannot wait for more to come!
arc generously provided by netgalley in exchange for a honest review
_______________________
I GOT THE ARC BITCHES WOOHOOOOO
_______________________
okay so before i start this review, two words: boyband romcom
bought this book yet? bc you totally should.
soooo it took me a long time even after getting an arc for this one to start it which was totally stupid of me considering how much i loved Only Mostly Devastated and what an amazing book this was.
Ruben, Zach, Jon and Angel are members of a popular boyband, Saturday. Ruben's known he was gay for a long time but was always pressured to keep it a secret by the management team of Saturday. He always kept quiet, put on a fake smile and let the media talk about the girls he was dating but then, while touring through Europe, he starts feeling for his bandmate, Zach.
Zach was more of the artsy type, he loved writing lyrics to his own songs and dance along to rock beats, but pressured by the management team, he was always pushed over and shown to the audience outside, as the broody one who loved pop.
After a drunken encounter, Zach finds out revelations about himself that are new and exhilarating. He doesn't know where he's gonna go from after this, only that whatever lays forward, he wants to go there with Ruben.
Zach and Ruben made such an adorable couple. their romance was full of sneaky touches, handholding under the blanket, sneaking off to the terrace and making out under the stars and so much more. also, their romance totally slow burn (like not mz slow burn but still)
also, Anjon (Angel and Jon) are two people I NEED A BOOK ABOUT!!! they were such cuties with their constant bickering and Jon going all mother hen over him. they were both too going through so much pressure, all put upon them by, once again, the management team.
i loved how a lot of real issues were also addressed in the book like coming out, the pressure being put upon them by the management team, always being told no for what they want, being monitored all the time, not even being able to wear what they want, and even how the boys turn to alcohol and drugs as an outlet.
overall, If This Gets Out was a wonderful read full of things i loved. the reason i cut off a star is bc i needed more from that ending and maybe a thing or two in the middle. other than that, this was one perfect read and i cannot wait for more to come!
arc generously provided by netgalley in exchange for a honest review
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