The Clueless Groom's Guide : More Than Any Man Should Ever Know About Getting Married

by Peter van Dijk

This is not your father's wedding... From choosing china patterns and invitation designs to color schemes and reception halls, today's grooms are expected to play a much more active role in wedding planning than when their dads walked down the aisle. The Clueless Groom's Guide offers the 3 million men who get married each year lighthearted commiseration, guidance, and a distinctly male take on the entire process of planning a traditional wedding. Filled with humorous but useful advice and information on wedding issues, this essential guide

Genres: Nonfiction

192 pages, Paperback

First published May 16, 2003

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Reviews

[Pranav · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious read.

[RonMele · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious

[Chad · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is better as a gag gift than a practical wedding planning guide. It's about 30% useful advice and 70% humor. It's pretty funny, but I was looking for actionable advice for planning my wedding ceremony, reception, and honeymoon.

The author's irreverently cynical about weddings, and bashes religious weddings, which I found off-putting. He unapologetically tells you what choices you should make when planning your wedding, but does describe a few other options. His advice is mostly to stick to a simple, relatively traditional wedding (to avoid offending guests), and not go overboard with planning or the budget.

The end had some rare serious words of advice:

"Don't try to make being married change you more than it wants to...Both of you are still who you are. You've just promised to be that together. And that's just about the best thing there is."

"Never stop dating her. Never let her forget why you started."

Overall, the book is only worth reading if you're so stressed from wedding planning that you need to laugh.

[B · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fine as far as you can throw it.

It basically repeatedly indicates the following:
(1) A lot of the wedding will not be fun or will be for the bride.
(2) Appease the bride at all times.
(3) Mostly do things the traditional way.
(4) Expect to fight over this stuff, but it's not important.
(5) Weddings are expensive.

Earlier in the book it was working a bit on the humor side. But by the end, it's jokey rather than funny. And obviously the author has had some sort of traumatic experience with "The Bride Cuts the Cake," a song-tradition with which I am unfamiliar.

Today, I'm not sure why someone would buy this instead of looking at an online guide, but in 2003 when it was published it seems like it could have been moderately useful to a neophyte.

[Robb · Rating 4 out of 5]

A light breezy read on what to expect when you are planning to get married. Definitely meant more as a humourous distraction to the nervousness a groom-to-be might be feeling rather than a hard fast guide on what to do. Though the book does offer some great insights and helps demystify aspects of some wedding traditions. Definitely worth the read if you're getting hitched or thinking about it.

[Christiaan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Leuk en vermakelijk boek wanneer je gaat trouwen. Het is wel duidelijk geschreven vanuit de Amerikaanse traditie, veel dingen gaan in Nederland toch net even anders. Maar desalniettemin leuk leesvoer.

[Ian · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book should be included with every purchase of an engagement ring! It's filled with great advice on planning a wedding, but it's also one of the funniest books I've ever read!

[Tim Hinko · Rating 5 out of 5]

"In other words, the traditional father of the bride gets hosed like the traditional pretty boy in a prison yard."