Out of the Dark: My Journey Through the Shadows to Find God's Joy

by Mandisa, Suzanne Gosselin

Grammy award-winning music artist Mandisa tells an inspiring story of peaks and valleys, trials and joys, wins and losses. Through her gripping narrative, she shows that our choice to trust God can not only overcome our need to understand why bad things happen, but can help us to embrace a life of joy and freedom. Out of the Dark is Mandisa's exploration of the journey she's taken from when she first became a Christian, to her rise as an American Idol finalist and receiving multiple Grammy and Dove Award nominations, as well as the dark and challenging times she experienced along the way. She writes personally and openly about the hardships she has faced and the way she felt betrayed by God, but also about how God has brought her out of the valley into His glorious light. Along the way, she also shares her struggles in learning how to love her body and care for her health. Just as Mandisa's Grammy-award winning song "Overcomer" was topping the Contemporary Christian Music charts, her friend for whom "Overcomer" had been written passed away. After losing this close friend to cancer, despite years of prayers on her behalf, Mandisa descended into depression, isolating herself and turning to her familiar friend, food, for comfort. Throughout Out of the Dark, Mandisa uses her experiences to address the following themes: The pain of grief and loss Surviving abuse Embracing true beauty and a healthy body image Coping with severe depression Healthy--and disordered--eating The role of faith in hope and healing Letting go of shame Following your unique calling and passion How friends and family are crucial for healing The challenges of 2020, including protecting mental and emotional health while navigating a public health crisis; quarantining; and coping with racial injustice Trusting God daily for hope and healing ​In the darkness, Mandisa knew God was there -- but she wondered if she could trust Him. Even at her lowest point where she saw no human way forward, God was at work, powerfully redeeming her story and calling her out of the dark. Mandisa tells her story with warmth and vulnerability, challenging us all to focus on God's purpose for our lives, surround ourselves with friends who will fight for us, and face life's challenges with courage and faith. If you've ever found yourself in a dark place as the result of grief, depression, or loss, Mandisa's story will reassure you that even when you're walking through dark valleys, God can and will lead you on a path to joy and hope.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Audiobook, Mental Health, Faith

256 pages, Hardcover

Published March 15, 2022

Reviews

[Cat Carstairs · Rating 5 out of 5]

My heart was broken to hear the news about Mandisa's passing. She was such a bright light for Jesus in this dark world and I will miss her and her beautiful voice.

Her story was so real and impactful. It was encouraging to hear about the hard things she experienced in life and how Jesus used them for her good and His glory. Her testimony is proof that by God's strength, we can overcome any obstacle. There is purpose in the struggle, even and especially when we cannot see it. Mandisa was still so young, and while I feel sorrow that she is no longer with us, I feel great hope knowing that she is at home with our Father- no longer living in this tragic world, but in His perfect Kingdom.

She is singing with the angels now <3

[Val (pagespoursandpups) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ever since I saw Mandisa's entrance on American Idol, I have loved her! To me, she defines a "glowing spirit". Her songs are uplifting and full of hope. When I saw this book that talks about her struggles along with her victories, I immediately requested a copy.

This book is such a great reminder that the person we "show" the world, is not always the person we are. We are all dealing with issues - lack of confidence, questioning faith, depression, financial, job related, family related and so many others - but we rarely show that side to others. We tuck that away and so many times feel obligated to only show the positives.. In a world filled with social media accounts highlighting success, beauty and perfection, it's hard to not compare your life with others'.

Mandisa does a wonderful job of walking us through her journey to follow her passion for singing and finding a way to make her passion and her work the same thing. I loved when she recounted how God plants seeds for us to find if we will pay attention. Had she not followed up on the name "Lifeway" seeming implanted in her mind, she would not have applied for a job there, met people pivotal to her journey and joined the Christian instruction industry which led her to performing and eventually trying out for American Idol(AI). As someone who "met" Mandisa on AI, I was enamored with her behind the scenes experience and stories of that time.

In each chapter she shares experiences, bible verses and song lyrics. I watched YouTube videos of the collaborations she talks about and listened to the songs she references with new understanding. To understand the emotion behind a song is just a gift. There were so many lines that stood out to me that I highlighted to refer back to.

"Guilt is different from shame. Guilt is seeing the sinful thing you have done; shame is seeing yourself as a failure because of it."

This book was exactly what I hoped it would be. It reinforced my love for Mandisa. I loved her honesty - the way she showed the reader her insecurities and her struggles with faith, food and confidence felt so heartfelt. I took away so much information because it was presented in a non-preachy way. Not once did I feel like God's words were thrown at me, rather, they were presented to me on a platter to decide if I wanted to partake or not.

So very grateful to have had the chance to digest this book. Thank you so much to NetGalley and K-love books for the advance copy to read and review.

Pub date: 3.15.22

[Cassondra Perea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! Five stars simply isn’t enough!!!!I would recommend this book to everyone I know who has struggled with their mental health and physical appearance!!!! If this is you, run don’t walk to get a copy.

It is a difficult thing to be a Christian and face issues such as those Mandisa discusses in her book. I have found that when talking to other Christian’s they can tend to question my faith or the ever favorite, pray it away. However, Mandisa, having gone through them herself admits Christians will struggle in their life on earth. In fact, some of the trials Christians face may never go away as they are our “thorns in our flesh” like Paul wrote about. She preached the word of God honestly throughout the entire book without casting judgment or alienating her audience.

I read this as an e-book and I will asking for this as a gift or buying it myself so I can reread in a season of darkness. I also want a physical copy so that I can highlight and take notes! There is too much gold in this book to not delve deeper.

This will now be my go to gift for friends who I know have struggled and or are struggling in these areas.

Special thanks to K-Love Publishers and NETGALLEY .com for allowing me to read this book in exchange for my pure honesty. You will never truly understand what this book means to me!

[Read-n-Bloom · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good book by Mandisa. She is writing about herself and things she has struggled with since being on American Idol. She writes about losing a very best friend, Kisha. She couldn’t understand why God took her and Kisha so young and had little children. She writes how God brings her out of the dark during these times, because she went low into the darkness. Very inspirational and beautiful for her to bear her soul the way she has in this book. Thank you to #NetGalley and the publishers, for the opportunity to read and review #OutOfTheDark with my own thoughts and opinions.

[Ann | This Quiet Heart Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had purchased a signed copy of this book quite a while ago, and because I have a goal of reading through all the physical books I own, I picked up this book. This book was a really easy read. I really appreciated the points that were made and the way that Mandisa & Suzanne used Mandisa’s journey to guide readers along on their spiritual journey.

This definitely read as a memoir, but there were questions at the end of each chapter to help the reader reflect on their own lives.

As someone who sometimes struggles with Depression/Anxiety, I appreciated the hope portrayed of how God is the closest when we are in the darkest valleys. His victory is ours through Jesus, and inevitably we will win.

Unfortunately, earlier this year, Mandisa went to be with the Lord, which makes me especially grateful for my signed copy. I genuinely grieved when I heard the news. I grew up listening to Mandisa’s music and there is not a one that I don’t love or relate to during the various seasons of my life.

I enjoyed reading about Mandisa’s life and how God has taken her through many peaks and valleys. I learned a lot about God and His relationship with us. I tabbed so many pages, it genuinely looks a bit crazy 😂! But to me, that’s a sign that I relate to Mandisa and I have struggled with food and weight just as Mandisa has.

I do feel like this book, did kind of talk about many things, rather than one specific topic, but because it had the feel of a memoir that didn’t bother me like it sometimes does with non-fiction.

I suggest this book if you enjoy memoirs with vulnerability, lessons to be learned, and reflection questions.

Content Warnings:
Language: None
Spice: None
TW: Sexual Assault, Depression/Suicidal Thoughts

[Melanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Out of the Dark was a great read. The audiobook was read very well and I was surprised by parts of Mandisa's story, although most of it I had heard her speak about in interviews.

I loved learning how the American Idol audition that was aired was not the one she performed in front of the judges. So interesting! All in all, a very good read.

[Isaac · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been Mandisa's fan since I saw her He is with you video in 2015 at that time I was a lonely kid in junior high. And that song gives me encouragement and her beautiful voice tells me that the creator of the world is with me while I'm in the middle of that. Then I continued listening her songs and MANDISA MANDISA tells me the meaning of the scars and to turn them into testimonies.
So I can say mandisa is not only one of a great contestant in American Idol but she is a friend, a mentor and a preacher.
And now I was so pleasantly surprised by Out of the dark! The writing is incredibly well done. Her honesty and authenticity in telling her story is BRAVE and powerful!! The book was so incredibly relatable sometimes it hurt. She gives us a candid glimpse of her depression life, anxiety, loss, lonely times..... She also describes the moment she come out of the dark and How she did it.
" God is teaching me how to be an overcomer too-not just getting through hard time In my life, but experiencing victory daily through His strength and love. I'm learning I don't have to have it all together, or the best version of myself, to be an overcomer. I can make mistakes, fall back into old sinful patterns, and still walk in victory. Because overcoming isn't dependent on me. It's dependent on my powerful savior.
I loved every minute of it. I highly recommend it!!
*** I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange of an Honest review ****

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to Mandisa for sharing her struggle and how she has used God's Word to help her overcome her struggles. She expressed many different struggles so many of us face and it was inspiring to hear how she came through it at the end. After reading this, I feel that I know a little more about her and like her more and more.

Thank you K-LOVE Books, Independent Book Publishers Association (IBPA), Members' Titles, and NetGalley for an advance read.

[Mikayla · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very encouraging book, a bit scattered in its theme, but still good. The end felt very disconnected from the rest, like they had tacked it on.
I enjoyed getting to see more of Mandisas story and background.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing, wonderful, uplifting!

[Kristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoy Mandisa’s music and admired her stage presence and love for Jesus when I had the opportunity to see her in concert a few years ago. I also struggle with depression, so I immediately snagged an E-ARC of this book when I saw it was available. This book is best summarized by Mandisa herself in the final chapter: “It’s not a story about Mandisa, really. It’s a story about a big God who has changed one woman’s life in unbelievable ways”.

The book opens as Mandisa shares the story of her friend Kisha, who lost her battle with breast cancer shortly after giving birth to her second child. It’s this loss that compounds upon her struggles with depression and leaves her questioning why God allows suffering; a question I’m sure we’ve all wrestled with in our own lives. I so appreciated how vulnerably and candidly Mandisa shares different things she has struggled with throughout her life, yet always returns to Scripture to encourage both herself and the reader. Each chapter is titled after one of Mandisa’s songs, and begins with a snippet of the lyrics to set the tone for the chapter ahead. “Getting Real” questions at the end of each chapter help the reader connect to Mandisa’s experiences by encouraging them to think about similar experiences or feelings in their own lives.

However, I was disappointed in the content about false teachers, including Beth Moore, Lysa TerKuerst and Kristi McLelland. All of these women have preached to mixed congregations despite God’s Word in Timothy, among other issues.

Thank you to the publishers, Dexterity and K-Love, for providing an e-ARC for review via Netgalley; all opinions are my own.

[Barbara Powell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been a fan of Mandisa for many years. I admire her fun personality at concerts and online so this was an eye opening look behind the scenes and the highs and lows of her life and how they affected her walk with God. We always think of celebrities having no problems, but Mandisa was open in expressing her very dark lows of depression that so many of us deal with. God never said our walk with Him would be easy, but He did say that it would be worth it. I appreciated her vulnerability in telling her story and each chapter is filled with scripture references and bible stories that relate to what she was going through at the time, and that most of us can relate to at one time in our life or another, along with a few questions at the end of the chapter as a way to look back on what you just read.
This was raw and inspiring and not “preachy” but definitely “teachy”
“It’s not a story about Mandisa, really, it’s a story about a big God who has changed one woman’s life in unbelievable ways”
Thanks to K-LOVE Books, the author and NetGalley for this arc in exchange for my review.

[Meredith Newton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely a guide with scripture driven fuel for anyone with anxiety and depression. Just really sad that she’s not here to write another.

[Michelle Kidwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Out of the Dark
My Journey Through the Shadows to Find God's Joy
by Mandisa
Pub Date 15 Mar 2022
K-LOVE Books, Independent Book Publishers Association (IBPA), Members' Titles
Biographies & Memoirs | Christian | Religion & Spirituality


I am reviewing a copy of Out of the Dark through K-Love Books, Independent Publishers Association and Netgalley:



Out of the Dark is Mandisa’s exploration of the journey she’s taken from when she first became a Christian, it also speak of her rise as an American Idol finalist and receiving multiple Grammy and Dove Award nominations, as well as the dark and challenging times she experienced along the way.


In Out of the Darkness Mandissa tells her story with warmth and vulnerability, challenging us all to focus on God’s purpose for our lives. She calls readers to surround themselves with friends who will fight for and with them and to face life’s challenges with courage and faith.


While in the darkness Mandissa knew God was there — but she wondered if she could trust Him. Even at her lowest point where she saw no human way forward, God was at work, powerfully redeeming her story and calling her out of the dark.



I give Out of the Dark five out of five stars!


Happy Reading!

[Alaina Rocci · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very quick read. Her candor and story is interesting. However, as someone who reads lots of autobiographies and memoirs and many with faith/religious undertones, I found this one underwhelming. It lacks depth and is more of a general glaze over her life story. Might be more impactful if you listen to her music or have followed her career. But if you're someone like me who is generally familiar with her, and viewing it as a human interest piece, it may not be worth the time.

[Eunice R · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'd say that Mandisa is first and foremost a great woman of faith in Jesus Christ and cherishes her relationship with Him. This she articulates in her songs, several of which, are co-authored with others. Her song lyrics have a very "Psalms" feel to them and have great potential for touching the heart in deep places.

Being able to read the background from which Mandisa's songs spring, helps give a reality check for "getting real" with God and relationships with others, even for the listener, reader and singer of her songs. I found this Out of the Dark author to be very honest and believe her testimony is exactly what many of us need to hear. Those faltering in their faith because of trauma, health issues, or those struggling with mental health should all find Mandisa's memoir of great value.

I really appreciated that this singer-songwriter and book author has chosen to illustrate her thoughts with Bible stories and verses, assisting her readers to connect at premium meaningfulness as she drives her meaning home with greater impact, understanding and insight.

Being a person who prefers the more staid, traditonal music, this new-to-me, avenue of song took me by surprize. As each song was introduced in the book, I went and listened to it. Although some of the music was not my preferred genre, I did love "Good Morning" and " Bleed the Same". In fact, this latter one really hits in the gut especially knowing the background of events that most of us would, not so long ago, have seen or heard of in the news, if not experienced firsthand on the street.

No matter how dark our lives may get, Mandisa tells of her survival, and of the mercies of her Lord and Heavenly Father of compassion, which are new every morning. Herein, lies hope.

At the end of each book chapter is a section called, "Get Real" where pertinent "think about it" questions are delineated for the reader to ask his or herself. Take action however and wherever necessary to bring yourself out of the dark with Jesus' help and with those He puts in your life community to be as "real" and whole as possible this side of Heaven.

~Eunice C., Reviewer/Blogger~
December 2021

Disclaimer: This is my honest opinion based on the review copy sent by NetGalley and the publisher.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is really moving and as someone who has struggled with Depression I wonder if Mandisa was on medication because that is what is helping me. Counseling is mentioned but I didn’t get the sense that she continued because the counselor wasn’t a good fit for her. I know a lot of people are opposed to medication, especially Christians. It makes me sad to think that maybe she would still be here if she had given it a try? The details surrounding her death are not clear but I would not be surprised if it was actually from suicide. Even though Bible verses that line up with her thoughts are mentioned throughout the book, I don’t feel like that could hide the deep hurt, pain, and confusion Mandisa was experiencing.

[Roberta Banta · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book several years ago, before Mandisa had passed away. It tells of her struggles through the years, but I didn’t realize just how bad those struggles were. I loved her from the moment I first saw her on American Idol. The things Simon said to her in that show really made me angry. So what if she was over weight. Did he think she didn’t already know that?? She could sing like an Angel and that’s what he should have been focusing on. I bought all of her CD’s. Her music is so inspiring and uplifting and it brings me comfort to know that one day I’ll get to meet her in heaven.

[Lorie Cockman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mandisa was real in this and shared her struggles to come out of the dark. I was able to meet her years ago. I had stepped out of a bathroom and she was walking to her spot to sign autographs at a Women of Faith conference. No one was around and we chatted for a few minutes. She was kind and genuine. That comes across in this book. She is an Overcomer and even now is encouraging others as she celebrates he victory in heaven!

[Sarah Ashlyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

A truly thought-provoking and inspirational story about an extraordinary woman who struggled but who never let go of God's hand. I've been a fan of Mandisa's since she appeared in American Idol and I related to her in so many ways: we were the same age, single women, and her faith in God made me want to reestablish my own relationship with Him. She's gone now, but her legacy lives on through her music and her story. I would recommend it to anyone who is going through a difficult time in life.

[Betsy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gave us a real look into Mandisa’s struggles with mental health, food/weight, and her faith. Filled with scripture references and ending each chapter with questions to think about, gave this book a Bible study feel.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book. It’s real, raw and honest and contains helpful scripture that can be applied to anyone’s life.

[Kristina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mandisa, I loved this book and I love all of your songs!! You got me through my darkest days of my life.

[Carol J. Robbins · Rating 4 out of 5]

The struggles she experienced are much the same as my own. So I appreciated her perspective and faith in God to help her in the battle to fight those thorns of the flesh. She seemed to be in a good place spiritually at the end of her book. I’m thankful for that.

[Angela Belcher · Rating 5 out of 5]

So real and true-love how she shares her personal journey. She is living in the light forevermore!

[SunshineReads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/ 5 stars
This was a beautiful, sad, and inspiring read about how God is always there and waiting to help pull you out of your struggles (no matter how far you've gone)

[Sarah Kellogg · Rating 5 out of 5]

She was such a treasure. this book is so well done. each chapter is insular in that you can read them one at a time and has lots of stories from her life with so many nuggets of Truth and wisdom.

[Sera · Rating 4 out of 5]

I meant to read this earlier, especially since recent events made this more difficult to read. I commend & appreciate her sharing her mental health journey.

[SaraFair · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seldom do we want to discuss our weaknesses or times when we could not stand up to the world’s standard. But that is exactly what Mandisa has done in her memoir Out of the Dark: My Journey Through the Shadows to Find God’s Joy. In a brave and open manner, Mandisa carries us back through her life’s highs and lows, explaining her innermost thoughts along the way. Explaining how God and His Word got her through it. The author shows us her early life and how she became a Christian. Then she describes the education and conditions that led her to be a Grammy award winning Christian artist. Even including an insult that was broadcast around the country. Mandisa has a way of using scripture that is quite motivational. She gives so many relatable examples of dark times in her life leaving her to wonder “why me” or “should I give up here”? Then she shows us that the answers were right there all along, in God’s promises. What a giving person to announce all her issues so that we can glean hope from the ways that she has found her help through God. I highly recommend this to those that are dealing with mental and physical roadblocks. I also recommend to those who want to be ready for when they happen in the future. Thank you to NetGalley for a free ecopy of this book, given for an honest review.

[Mikaela Dunegan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved reading this to hear about her journey through life and with her faith as well. While I'm sad that she passed not long after this was written, I am rejoicing that I know where she is.