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Surviving the Fishbowl: Letters to Pastors' Kids
Pastors' kids have it hard, feeling the weight of undue expectations and the observing world around them. In Surviving the Fishbowl , Catherine J. Stewart assembles an experienced group of authors to give advice for those feeling the pressure of life lived in the scrutinized house of a minister. With contributions from pastors and their wives, as well as from former pastors' kids, this book gives sage advice for those navigating difficult waters. Whether you are pastor's kid struggling to understanding your identity, dealing with troubling social pressures, or just wishing you could escape it all, read this book and see that these trying days are survivable and even attended with blessings you may not have considered before. Table of
Foreword by David Strain
Part 1: Laying the Foundation
1. Identity PK or Child of the King? - Jasmine Holmes
2. Who Sets the Standard? - Megan Hill
3. Count Your Enjoying the Benefits of Being a PK - Joel and Mary Beeke
4. The Glorious Gift of Extended Family - Terry and Emily Johnson
5. Loving the Pressing on Through Family Highs and Lows - Tom and Donna Ascol
Part 2: Sharks in the Bowl
6. The Godly Response - Mike and Mae Milton
7. Choice or Inevitability? - Amanda Martin
8. Cultural Adapting to New Surroundings - Carl and Catriona Trueman
9. The Dark Night of the Soul - Neil and Catherine Stewart
10. Rebel The One that Got Away (Almost) - Ike Reeder
11. Financial High Calling with a High Price - Daniel Wakefield
Foreword by David Strain
Part 1: Laying the Foundation
1. Identity PK or Child of the King? - Jasmine Holmes
2. Who Sets the Standard? - Megan Hill
3. Count Your Enjoying the Benefits of Being a PK - Joel and Mary Beeke
4. The Glorious Gift of Extended Family - Terry and Emily Johnson
5. Loving the Pressing on Through Family Highs and Lows - Tom and Donna Ascol
Part 2: Sharks in the Bowl
6. The Godly Response - Mike and Mae Milton
7. Choice or Inevitability? - Amanda Martin
8. Cultural Adapting to New Surroundings - Carl and Catriona Trueman
9. The Dark Night of the Soul - Neil and Catherine Stewart
10. Rebel The One that Got Away (Almost) - Ike Reeder
11. Financial High Calling with a High Price - Daniel Wakefield
168 pages, Paperback
Published February 20, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
July 10, 2023
This book was excellent!
Having lived my entire life as a "PK" I found this book deeply encouraging and at times exposing.
It talked about the problems and the blessings that pastor's kids have specifically, something that I have never been able to find before (and I have looked!). In every page, I learned more about God in his wonderful all-knowing power when it comes to the pastor's family.
I would suggest it to any PK, no matter who they are, because this book talks about the honest struggles and the beautiful blessings of living in the home of the pastor. Whether discussing how to handle criticism in a godly manner or talking about the rebel pastor's kid, this book was relatable and entirely focused upon God and His love for us. I left it refreshed and strengthened in my walk with God.
Having lived my entire life as a "PK" I found this book deeply encouraging and at times exposing.
It talked about the problems and the blessings that pastor's kids have specifically, something that I have never been able to find before (and I have looked!). In every page, I learned more about God in his wonderful all-knowing power when it comes to the pastor's family.
I would suggest it to any PK, no matter who they are, because this book talks about the honest struggles and the beautiful blessings of living in the home of the pastor. Whether discussing how to handle criticism in a godly manner or talking about the rebel pastor's kid, this book was relatable and entirely focused upon God and His love for us. I left it refreshed and strengthened in my walk with God.
May 3, 2021
“PKs are born into a burden and a blessing they did not choose but in God’s providence was chosen for them.” - Rosaria Butterfield
I read this one for my kids, rather than handing it to them. I have seen pastor’s families get really bogged down in the burdens of ministry, particularly mothers passing on a resentment toward the church, to the point that teenage PKs are seeing “sharks” in the fishbowl that really aren’t there. I’m not certain that if I handed this to one of my kids if it would alert them to things they never thought to be concerned about. But I think that is highly individualized by the maturity and personality of the child, not to mention the church. I do think it’s beneficial to parents to read for sure.
This book gives articulation to many aspects of life in a fishbowl, whether they be congregations of 50 or 5000. But it would be very difficult, I would think, to write a one-size-fits-all book because there are so many different types of ministry homes. So there were a few chapters that just didn’t apply to my situation personally. Pastor’s kids are just members of the church and they should not be held more OR less accountable to the other people in the congregation.
I read this one for my kids, rather than handing it to them. I have seen pastor’s families get really bogged down in the burdens of ministry, particularly mothers passing on a resentment toward the church, to the point that teenage PKs are seeing “sharks” in the fishbowl that really aren’t there. I’m not certain that if I handed this to one of my kids if it would alert them to things they never thought to be concerned about. But I think that is highly individualized by the maturity and personality of the child, not to mention the church. I do think it’s beneficial to parents to read for sure.
This book gives articulation to many aspects of life in a fishbowl, whether they be congregations of 50 or 5000. But it would be very difficult, I would think, to write a one-size-fits-all book because there are so many different types of ministry homes. So there were a few chapters that just didn’t apply to my situation personally. Pastor’s kids are just members of the church and they should not be held more OR less accountable to the other people in the congregation.
January 15, 2023
Finally finished! This was good. As someone with parents in ministry, I related to many of the stories. The section by Ike Reeder was very relatable as he told of his rebellion as a PK prior to being saved. He also happens to be from Birmingham! One section also went into the intricacies of mental health, which I appreciated. Good stuff.
August 23, 2021
This was a good one. I really liked the way this book just worded everything, it was easy to understand. I really enjoyed reading it. I think it is important for young pks to read this one.
March 4, 2024
3.5 stars for audience, length, and style
I think it’s more appropriate for pastors and pastors wives and not PKs. Nonetheless, the info in here is fantastic and useful. A lot to chew on for parents of PKs of how their actions in ministry trickle down and have lasting affects on the kids—everything from hiding sin struggles to being gone to how you speak on ministerial/church life issues. Thought provoking. It was great to ask my two oldest how it feels to be a PK and they didn’t understand what I was asking—it’s just their life and don’t think they’ve felt much weight in that regard. (Ezra did say he enjoys being able to go on trips that other kids his age don’t since his dad is a pastor) The kids will feel the weight of blessing of a PK as the years continue and I pray not much of the criticism.
Unfortunately, the book assumes a lot about the pastor’s family and spiritual disciplines which I don’t think is super helpful across the board. (Kinda want a PK book written by baptists, or at least a mix of presbys/baptists) Many of the families represented in the book paint an idealistic view of the PK home. Trying to read this from a PK perspective, I thought the most helpful chapters were the chapters ACTUALLY WRITTEN BY PKs and I wish that had been consistent throughout. I wish this book was more condensed for middle/high school PKs to make sense of their world, but honestly, I don’t think the reality of being a PK is comprehended til you’re out/nearly out of the house.
I thought many times of the PKs I know and how specific chapters would be helpful, but I do think it needs to be written more conversationally and not so academically.
Overall, for a pastor and PW, helpful and thought provoking book that could be a smidge shorter and just as effective.
I think it’s more appropriate for pastors and pastors wives and not PKs. Nonetheless, the info in here is fantastic and useful. A lot to chew on for parents of PKs of how their actions in ministry trickle down and have lasting affects on the kids—everything from hiding sin struggles to being gone to how you speak on ministerial/church life issues. Thought provoking. It was great to ask my two oldest how it feels to be a PK and they didn’t understand what I was asking—it’s just their life and don’t think they’ve felt much weight in that regard. (Ezra did say he enjoys being able to go on trips that other kids his age don’t since his dad is a pastor) The kids will feel the weight of blessing of a PK as the years continue and I pray not much of the criticism.
Unfortunately, the book assumes a lot about the pastor’s family and spiritual disciplines which I don’t think is super helpful across the board. (Kinda want a PK book written by baptists, or at least a mix of presbys/baptists) Many of the families represented in the book paint an idealistic view of the PK home. Trying to read this from a PK perspective, I thought the most helpful chapters were the chapters ACTUALLY WRITTEN BY PKs and I wish that had been consistent throughout. I wish this book was more condensed for middle/high school PKs to make sense of their world, but honestly, I don’t think the reality of being a PK is comprehended til you’re out/nearly out of the house.
I thought many times of the PKs I know and how specific chapters would be helpful, but I do think it needs to be written more conversationally and not so academically.
Overall, for a pastor and PW, helpful and thought provoking book that could be a smidge shorter and just as effective.
October 19, 2022
Pastor's kids carry unique struggles that are often unacknowledged. Churches often hold them to the same qualifications as their dad, and kids can feel like their lives are under constant scrutiny like living in a fishbowl.
There are pastor's retreats and encouragement for pastor's wives, but rarely do you see helpful resources for the kids. The Bible applies even here, yet it seems like PKs slip through the cracks simply because their dad is the pastor.
This book was such an encouragement to read because it was real and raw about the things that all pastor's kids go through. It was such a blessing to read the journeys of the contributors and where God led them in spite of whether things were going well at home/church or not. God's grace is truly amazing!
The book is divided into two sections, and each chapter is written by a different contributor:
🐠PART 1: Laying the Foundation (identity, expectations, benefits, friendships, love)
🐠PART 2: Sharks in the Bowl (criticism, loneliness, cultural changes, depression, rebellion, financial crisis)
There are pastor's retreats and encouragement for pastor's wives, but rarely do you see helpful resources for the kids. The Bible applies even here, yet it seems like PKs slip through the cracks simply because their dad is the pastor.
This book was such an encouragement to read because it was real and raw about the things that all pastor's kids go through. It was such a blessing to read the journeys of the contributors and where God led them in spite of whether things were going well at home/church or not. God's grace is truly amazing!
The book is divided into two sections, and each chapter is written by a different contributor:
🐠PART 1: Laying the Foundation (identity, expectations, benefits, friendships, love)
🐠PART 2: Sharks in the Bowl (criticism, loneliness, cultural changes, depression, rebellion, financial crisis)
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews