Between Safe and Real

by Dannie M. Olguin

Fifteen-year-old Zoe Wilkes has ninety-nine problems, and a boring life ain't one. With two hungry siblings, an empty fridge, and a violent mother to tip-toe around, Zoe can't slow down enough to catch a breath. When she discovers Mama’s been reading her diary, Zoe realizes she has to stop writing in it. Trouble is, if she stops, Mama’s sure to think she’s hiding something, and will tear through her room like a tornado—again—to find out what. Her solution: write Mama-safe entries in the first diary, while writing her real thoughts in a plain-old composition book.

The more entries she makes, the fuzzier the line between safe lies and terrifying truths becomes, and it’s not long before Zoe fears she’s just as unstable as Mama. After all, the apple never falls too far from the tree. If there’s even a shred of truth to her safe journal, then maybe her real journal’s just a hot mess of made-up horrors. When things at home escalate, Zoe must face reality in order to keep herself and siblings safe. But facing reality means taking steps that could shatter her family. Can her friends, Cheryl and Nate, help her understand that love shouldn’t hurt and blood doesn’t make a family?

Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary, Abuse, Fiction, Young Adult Contemporary

326 pages, Paperback

Published February 8, 2022

About the author

Dannie M. Olguin (She/Her)
YA Author of BETWEEN SAFE & REAL, Melange Books, February 2022

Reviews

[Dannie Olguin · Rating 5 out of 5]

It feels strange to review my own book, but I have to be honest here: I absolutely love this story. My sincerest hope is that it will find its way into the hands of the readers who need it most and that those readers will feel seen and somehow less alone.

[Lesley Handel · Rating 5 out of 5]

An authentic and captivating read for anyone with a volatile parent.

(Spoiler Free) Olguin perfectly captures the ways parental mental illness and substance abuse intersect with poverty. And while the dual diary format builds just enough distance from the horrors Zoe endures, it still manages to deeply connect the reader with every character, even Sammycat. This book is about so much more than surviving. Its about building connections and finding the strength to navigate the competing realities that emerge when life is stable at school and terrifying everywhere else. I read this book in a single sitting and it stayed with me long after the last page.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to read an early version of this novel. The book is so well written and important for those young adults and the rest of us that have had a toxic mother to try to survive and heal from. Though it is fiction it feels real and informed by actual experiences. Bravo Dannie M. Olguin! I can't wait to read what you write next and re read this book once it's published!

[Barbara Z. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am honored to have read an early release of this book, which is so very different from my usual fare. I've seen the words "gritty" and "raw" used too often, and those are my first reactions, too. Still, there's a delicacy to the story here which keeps the reader hanging on. The protagonist is unbelievably *good*, considering her upbringing, but we also know that she's a writer, a story-scrubber, and we're only privilege to one side of this twisted tale.
The idea of keeping a second diary and only pretending to hide it from her tormentors is a clever one, especially for a 15 year old. We get to see two versions of Zoe's life, the SAFE and the REAL, and are left to imagine the larger one that she can't see.
The book is by turns sad and upsetting and ultimately hopeful, and I hope it finds its way into the hands of the people who need it. An enriching, important read.

[Alison · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was privileged to have been able to read an early copy of this book. Between Safe and Real is a riveting story that truly makes you feel the emotions right along with the characters. The story is intense but also heartwarming. We see through Zoe's eyes as she experiences a tumultuous home life while simultaneously making her first forays into the wilderness of friendship and romance. It's a story that grabs you and doesn't let go. I am a lifelong reader, but it's been many years since I read a book that captivated me as much as this one. It did bring up some issues, as there are elements to the story that I can relate to, but that made me love the characters even more. I absolutely would recommend this book.

[Jim Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant and Brutal

I’m 62 and have read a lot of books that had an emotional impact on me.
Very rarely have I been emotionally gut-punched as often, and as severely, as I have reading this.
As the author herself says, if you need to put this book down, at any point, do so. I did several times.
But Ms. Olguin’s authorial voice, her skill, the authenticity which she’s infused this story with… I couldn’t have put it down for good even had I wanted to.
If you need to put it down forever, do so.
But I hope you don’t have to, because it’s so worth reading.
10/10 - Highly Recommended

[Tina Schwartz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so gritty and realistic. It’s a difficult life on display, shown with honesty and raw emotion. I rooted for the characters to succeed and thrive. It’s a book with hope, which is what so many kids in these situations need. Bravo to author Dannie M. Olguin. I can’t wait to see what your next book is!

[GinnyWeasley0806 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book absolutely broke me in the best way possible. I've had the incredible luck to have two amazing parents who love me, and would never dream of hurting me or my sister, but that means I can't understand the kind of trauma other have had to experience. Although the book can't describe every hurt in the world, it shed buckets of light onto just what others go through. It's definitely difficult to get through, but absolutely worth it. The raw emotion I experienced reading it brought me to tears, and I'm extremely grateful I was able to read Between Safe and Real. Dannie Olguin has created a work of art.

[Sierra Isley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book! The content is dark and hard to get through at times but that's the truth of the situation so I'm glad the author didn't shy away. Her voice feels like a MG/YA crossover. Although the themes were dark, the book was overall very hopeful.

[Mary Spears · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was honored to be able to read an advance copy of this strong debut novel by Ms. Olguin. The story is told through the journal entries of its 15 year old protagonist. She is struggling to come to terms with her abusive mother and neglectful father while caring for her siblings and navigating school. Can she be vulnerable enough to make friends? To trust others? The journals read just as earnestly and awkwardly as you would expect from a young person in the beginnings of developing their own voice. This book is a good read for kids who may be navigating how to be a good friend to someone who is abused at home, and for kids who may be trying to find their own voices in the midst of trauma.

[Natalie Blank · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read BETWEEN SAFE AND REAL in under 24 hours. From page 1, I was attached to Zoe and compelled to read more. She was a beautifully written MC, and the relationships were complex and thought-provoking. I appreciate that Zoe was able to find genuine friends and be able to confide in them about her home life.

BETWEEN SAFE AND REAL is one of those special YA books that both teens and adults should read. I think it would make for an excellent book club choice as well.

“And even though I was more afraid than I’ve ever been in my life, something told me everything would be okay. Maybe not right away. Maybe not for a really, really long time. But eventually, everything would be okay.”

[Marieke (mariekes_mesmerizing_books)]

DNF at 18%. I liked the premise but didn’t like the execution/writing.

Thanks Dannie for sending me an early copy!

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent YA book that fills a niche I think is lacking out there. Dysfunctional families and abuse are touched upon in other novels, but I haven't seen it be the true focus of a YA book before. This book is a brutally accurate portrayal of siblings living with the terror and unpredictability of (a variety of types of) abusive parents, the ways in which they have to grow up before they should, and the constant fear and uncertainty of what their futures could look like, told from the perspective of the eldest sister. Epistolary novels are not my favorite because they often seem to unable to tell a full story due to the format, but I didn't find that to be the case this time. The balance between "safe" and "real" diaries told a complete story and I didn't feel left needing to know more. The diary entries (the real ones, in particular) felt very authentic. I got the same cringe-y feelings I often feel when reading through my old diaries! They genuinely sounded like a teenager wrote them, complete with cheesy sayings and dramatic poetry and other things I definitely could relate to in my own diary entries when I was young. The safe diary was ramped up with sweetness and naivete on purpose to fool her mother, so those sounded like the writings of a much younger and more innocent child. At first I thought the book was leaning more Middle Grade, but as the descriptions of the abuse slowly developed and became more detailed it was obvious this book has been accurately classified as YA. The side characters in the book were sweet, if a bit unrealistic. The ending was wrapped up safe and tidy for a YA book, but I feel an ending with a bit more ambiguity would have been more true to life. Highly recommended.

[Crystal Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dannie Olguin sends 15-year-old Zoe through fire and it breaks my heart over and over. Such a heart-wrenching read in a unique format with incredible impact!

[April McClellan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t often post book reviews but I had to in this case. Truly, Between Safe and Real is a book that needs to be shared and read. I simply couldn’t put the book down as I was so invested in the characters. Having dealt with parental toxicity in my own life (though certainly not to the extent that Zoe suffers) I felt validated in my own feelings. This book deals with subjects we need to discuss more. I truly feel that we should be able to find this book in our school libraries, because it might help even one child reach out for help from a harrowing situation at home.

Please, do yourself a favor and give this book a try. I promise you won’t be disappointed. The format was original and unlike anything else I’ve read before. can’t wait to see what else Dannie has up her sleeve.

[Stirling · Rating 5 out of 5]

Between Safe and Real by Dannie M. Olguin is a young adult story about family that speaks from the heart, to the heart. Between Safe and RealDannie M. Olguin

[Lisa McCombs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Zoe Wilkes keeps not one, but two diaries as she maneuvers the many complexities of her dysfunctional life. Her writing is an outlet that keeps her sane, but her mother can never know the truth; thus, the second diary for prying eyes. Although author Dannie M. Olquin's story is fiction, the underlying reality of Zoe's life is in your face real stuff. At times hard to read, but equally difficult to put down.

[Maren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Between Safe and Real shares with readers the raw truth of what it's like to live with an abusive parent. The alternating journal entries give a glimpse into the mental gymnastics involved to survive such a life. Very well-written, this story is heartbreaking and hopeful at the same time.

[Amy Klco · Rating 5 out of 5]

An Honest Look at What Some Teens Go Through

This book does a great job of showing what children have to do (and who they have to become) when they live with an abusive parent. Very realistic.

[Andrea❤️ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great overall, I related to some of the book. With that being said…anyone who reads this book. Be prepared to see it through both the adult eyes and child eyes. Chefs kiss.