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The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage

3.87  ·  Rating details ·  2,329 ratings  ·  338 reviews
The follow-up to her million-copy bestseller The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura focuses on both partners in the relationship and reveals how to bring marriage back from the brink of disaster

Jumping off her million-copy bestseller The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura now exposes the sensitive and loving truth in appreciating the polarity betwee
Hardcover, 240 pages
Published January 2nd 2007 by Harper (first published January 1st 2007)
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Feb 04, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Wonderful!! So great - read it as a couple, a little each night, and discuss it as you go. It was so great. SOme things it was nice to say wow, glad we don't have that problem! And other times we sheepishly admitted to the faults, then discussed how we could improve. It was a great book for helping us communicate better and grow closer as husband and wife. ...more
Jul 12, 2009 rated it did not like it
I want to mentally vomit.

If I could give this book negative stars, I would.

I only read it because of my book club. I already read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands with another book club and hated that book to pieces so I wasn't thrilled to be reading this one. But, I wanted to fully participate in my book club so I read it.

I was ready to write my review full of all the reasons why I hated this book and can't stand Dr Laura, but I'll refrain.

I need to go wash my brain out now.

PS- I'm not s
Michael Whennen
A friend of mine commented on Laura

"She is divorced and remarried. Even had an affair with her second husband while he was still married to his first wife. He left his wife and three children to be with her. They lived together for 9 years before legally marrying. She was even estranged from her parents and her sister, so I'm not sure what makes her qualified to write books on relationships"
May 30, 2008 rated it it was amazing
To sum it up, Dr. Laura basically teaches her readers how to "love thy neighbor (spouse) as thyself," and how to own up to and take responsibility for your behavior. I think this book could help bad marriages become good ones, and good marriages become great ones. ...more
Nov 28, 2007 rated it liked it
I am still reading this book. What I have learned this far is that just about everything that Dr. Laura said not to do in a marriage has been dun to me. What I am talking about is all the criticism and the way that Dr. Laura tells the readers especially the women, if you do not treat your husband for the man that he is, then you won’t get a happy man but an angry boy.
I know that sex is a very important part of any marriage, and to have your spouse come to you and say time after time I don’t wan
Okay... where to start.
First, let me say that you NEED to learn about Schlessinger's past before listening/reading her work. She is totally hypocritical as far as I can see. She acts as though she's coming from a place upon high (no errors, no faults). But then HOLY MOLY! when you learn about the affairs, married men, naked pictures, divorces, refusing to talk to her mother/family for decades, etc. it... well... it puts it into perspective what a two faced bitch she really is.

I don't mind peopl
May 19, 2008 rated it it was amazing
This was SUCH a good book, I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone- even those who are not married. Reading it for my book club this month, I went into it skeptical that it could apply to me (not feeling like i needed much counseling on my marriage, only being married a year and a half) but it was amazing how much i learned from the key concepts that Dr. Laura uses to achieve the perfect marriage. It really helps to understand yourself and your significant other- whether married or just dat ...more
Mar 12, 2008 rated it it was amazing
I loved this book! I feel like if I read a little of this each day, I would always feel so in love with my husband and treat him with love, service and kindness! I recommend this book to men and women. This could change your marriage!

I just read the first chapter in this book the other day because I was having a tough time. It totally changed my attitude, I wrote my husband a nice letter and life was so much better! If you haven't read this, you need to!
Anne Thessen
Jun 20, 2008 rated it did not like it
Schlesinger is very good at demonstrating how far up her ass her head is. I don't know why, but I'm still amazed when people think that just because something works for them that it should therefore work for everyone else. Families, marriage and people are so much more dynamic than what she understands. The book contains a basic message of being loving and patient with your spouse, which is good, but none of the specifics are very useful. ...more
Jun 11, 2009 rated it really liked it
I came away from this book reflecting on ways I can do better in my marriage and how I can be more selfless. I don't agree 100% of the time with all the examples, stories, and advice, but, for me, there were so many good reminders in her book of ways I can improve. I appreciate that she sees the value in women staying home to care for the children, and I love that she promotes the sanctity of marriage and calls it "the covenant of marriage" throughout the book.

Listened to this one on CD.
Sep 05, 2008 rated it really liked it
Shelves: read-in-2009
More couples should read or listen to Dr. Laura and incorporate the things she says into their marriage. I'm amazed at how many things she says fall right in line with The Proclamation on the Family. It's amazing how a few small changes can make a big difference.
One line that summed it up pretty well was something like give your husband lots of food, sex and appreciation and he'll be happy. It may not be quite that simple but then again it just might be.
Jan 17, 2020 rated it did not like it
I find this book oversimplified and shallow. I’ve been happily married to a traditional, strong family-values kind of man for over 25 years. I will agree that intimacy is a high priority to a healthy marriage but I bristle with Dr. Laura’s use of phrases such as “stroking your man’s ego.” She must see women as manipulative tools in a relationship. She seems to have the idea that women hold all the power because they have the keys to the kitchen and the bedroom. Who wouldn’t love to come home to ...more
Nikki Keating
Apr 01, 2022 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was a common sense book but good reminder for each spouse to give 60% in a marriage. Be kind instead of selfish. It’s pretty good advice for any relationship:)
Oct 10, 2008 rated it really liked it
I figured i should take time out to finally review a book... (i much prefer to read than write! :>)
reed and i have been working on reading this book for the past couple of years :> and we are only half way through it. but i find it extremely useful.
if you are not familiar with dr. laura, she is a rather brazen media "expert". her approach is intimidating and can seem somewhat heartless, but her principles are quit sound. basically she says there are three things critical to a successful marriag
Natacha Pavlov
May 23, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
Although similar in content to “Husbands,” I found them each to be valuable reads. One of the prime reminders in this title surrounds women who ‘don’t feel’ like doing certain things while husbands certainly don’t have that option. Another useful one? Mostly learn to shut up—which should go a long way in minimizing annoying nagging, to say the least! Moreover it's likely to be useful advice for many life situations in general. Cue in some Bible verses as helpful reminders: Psalm 4:4, Proverbs 13 ...more
Sep 13, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Anyone who is married, you should read this book. Anyone who's looking to get married, you should read this book. If you have ever heard the word marriage, you should read this book.

I have recently become a big fan of Dr. Laura's. I do not belive everything she has to saw, but I believe a lot of it. Being your husband's girlfriend rather than his nagging wife really resonates in this book. Men are simple....they need affection, sex and good food. Add in fidelity, trust and openness with their w
Jul 28, 2008 rated it it was amazing
This book and other Dr. Laura books should be a must read for all married and engaged people. For those of you who have seen "Fireproof," (a highly recommended movie) Dr. Laura uses the same sort of theme in all of her books. Love first, love selflessly, and love the way your significant other needs to be loved. The more you focus on the other person (as long as the other person is a good person, not an evil one), the more you will gain in return. Take responsibility for the things you do wrong. ...more
Jul 26, 2011 rated it really liked it
This book is very similar to another one of her books, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. I really enjoyed it, and I would like to own it. I will definitely read it again. These two books remind me what I should be doing to be happy in my relationship whenever I get a bit stuck in a rut. The practical tips can literally bring overnight results, and it all focuses on YOU and what you can do (not changing your partner). Amazingly enough, those small changes that YOU make end up positively af ...more
Feb 13, 2012 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audiobooks
I listen to Dr. Laura quite frequently on Sirius XM satellite radio. Although my views conflict considerably with hers, I do appreciate her "common sense" approach to relationships. With that said, I am always entertained, even when she is screaming at folks. I always learn something, even if it's the opposite of what I believe.

Honestly, I was all set to dislike this book, but I'm really enjoying it so far. I'm keeping an open mind. I do, however, wonder what kind of man is married to Dr. Laura.
Jul 15, 2012 rated it really liked it
This book is must read for all women and men too! Some women will look at this book as demeaning and one sided in favor of men. But it is the same concept as the "golden rule". If you want love and respect then you give love and respect. Yes, and most often you must give it first and even at times you think your husband should give it first. Men are quite simple. They just need to know their wife loves them and not by words but by action. Your relationship will definitely improve after reading t ...more
Nov 29, 2011 rated it really liked it
This book gives some practical advice for maintaining a positive marriage and home atmosphere. It focuses more on traditional roles of husband and wife, which is fine. However, I would have liked to see some other advice for roles that are reversed (i.e. working wife, stay-home dad). Overall, I would recommend it to others.
Jamie Meyer
Sep 30, 2019 rated it did not like it
Shelves: 2019-empty-shelf
I have to be honest, I absolutely hated this book! I had to make myself finish it so I could give a complete review, and after having finished it, not only would I not recommend it, I would strongly encourage people to not ever read it. I’m telling you, I have very strong feelings about it!

The author, though a woman herself, genuinely seems to hate women! According to her, most problems in marriage are due to the woman not doing what the man needs, having too high of expectations, or trying to
Carrie Carlin
Mar 19, 2018 rated it did not like it
What the hell did I just read!? I feel like my womanhood was just punched in the face.

Honestly, I forced myself to persevere and complete the book due to a mental struggle of not being able to quit books I start. There were parts that made me so incredibly angry and a few that really made me laugh out loud. Obviously, the author has experienced a few relationship issues and though I can side with her on SOME of her views, it is due to her tone that throws me off. She comes off as a huge pro-man,
Susan Burke
Mar 19, 2021 rated it really liked it
Laura is honest, open and blunt, about marriage, about policies and about healing. I like her ideas, her insight and her desire to help. We can all use a little dose of new appreciation for our marriages, which happen to be between a man and a woman, as written, as in The Word, and as God ordained; His children were created equal, and there is a much deeper meaning behind the biology of the "man" and the "woman"...we need each other; we feed each other; we nurture each other, and we give birth b ...more
Dec 18, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-2019
I read proper care and feeding of husbands back in 2003 or 2004. It was helpful. I do think it was a little more helpful than this one, but this is still so important to read. I think every woman should read this. Hence the five star rating- I am very selective with those. I believe the woman sets the tone for the relationship (if he’s a normal without addiction and abusive behaviors) with regular guys. They’re pretty simple and easy to get them to treat you like the queen you deserve. I think i ...more
Ash Fletcher
Feb 17, 2022 rated it really liked it
Dr. Laura gets a lot of hate, but I very much appreciate her blunt take on marriage and family issues. The ultra negative reviews absolutely kill me, they are freaking hilarious! Very screechy, very alarmed that anyone might ascribe ANY validity to traditional gender roles…or want to be happy in a committed relationship where a man isn’t a foolish, emasculated, unappreciated trained seal.

My biggest takeaways:

1. In good relationships between two decent people, women hold most of the power to ke
David Gee
Sep 20, 2019 rated it really liked it
I've heard of Dr Laura before but didn't know much about her or her style of counseling before listening to this audiobook. I liked her firm focus on fundamentals for good relationships and marriage, some of which are very out of vogue today including personal responsibility, forgiveness, service, selfless love, and commitment. Her recognition and appreciation of God's role in strengthening marriage was refreshing; she acknowledged it often in appropriate contexts without being preachy. She came ...more
Nov 16, 2017 rated it liked it
It's a great book and most of the advice resonates, however, I kept waiting for the chapter dedicated to working wives/mothers and it never came. While I agree with traditional views of male and female roles, I DO have a job outside the home - in an ideal world I would work 2/3 days away and be a homemaker for the remainder of the week, but we're not there yet - and it would be nice to have had a few pages in the book dedicated to us "working women" and how to balance home chores, after school a ...more
Jan 08, 2018 rated it liked it
I get that Dr. Laura is not everyone’s cup of tea. She has very traditional opinions and counsels as such. I can see where she might be offensive to some & turn people off with her tone but if you can read this with an open mind and honest view of yourself and the part you play as a spouse, there are lots of bits of good advice in there. It can be a slap in the face but also one that might do some good. I don’t feel she’s right about everything, but she does have lots of experience to share and ...more
Apr 04, 2019 rated it really liked it
I know Dr Laura can be pretty polarizing, but I enjoy listening to her program. I’ve never read one of her books though, and decided to pick this up when I came across it at the library. It’s full of practical advice, Dr Laura humor and wisdom. Almost every page included a call or email from one of her listeners. I really liked these examples. I think she has lots of good things to say about appreciating our spouse, taking care of him, and not allowing life to be “all about me.” There is no I in ...more
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What kinds of men does dr. Laura's strategy fail on? 1 8 Apr 04, 2012 07:44PM  
What do you do when traditional roles don't make you happy? 1 7 Apr 04, 2012 07:41PM  

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Laura Catherine Schlessinger (born January 16, 1947) is an American talk radio host, socially conservative commentator and author. Her radio program consists mainly of her responses to callers' requests for personal advice and has occasionally featured her short monologues on social and political topics. Her website says that her show "preaches, teaches, and nags about morals, values and ethics". ...more

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