A Curious Kind of Widow: Loving a Man with Advanced Alzheimer's

by Ann Davidson

An intimate portrayal of a loving couple's struggle to accept the ravages of Alzheimer's while continuing to celebrate life and each other. A caregiver for her husband during the later stages of his disease, Ann was determined to stay in loving contact, but also to build a new life for herself. Through five sections of personal vignettes, Ann addresses difficult questions, including: How much longer can she care for her husband alone? How and when will she make the choice for residential care? How will she deal with the inevitable letting go? Walking by the lake near the care center one day Julian stops his gibberish long enough to tell her, "I'm okay, really okay. Now you be okay too

100 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2006

Reviews

[Sue]

I couldn’t have told it better myself, which worries me, because I have my own Alzheimer’s memoir to publish. In this story of the late stages of her husband Julian’s Alzheimer’s journey, Davidson tells her story well, capturing the progression, the joys and frustrations, the clear moments and the moments when all is lost. She wrote a previous memoir, Alzheimer’s, a Love Story: One Year in My Husband’s Journey, which I have not yet read, but this one really hits home. Like me, Ann and Julian were too young for this horrible disease. He was a Stanford professor, a brilliant man. She was a speech therapist and writer. Their three children were grown and the grandchildren were coming. And Julian was disappearing. Ann kept him at home as long as she possibly could, even though he spoke mostly gibberish, wandered all night, and needed help with almost everything. We feel her pain as she finally takes him to live at a care home Alzheimer’s patients and starts to rediscover her own life as a woman who is technically married but single in reality. It’s a sad story, but it’s also a love story. Highly recommended.

[Doc Opp]

The second half of the saga of Julian Davidson - as he continues to decline in the throes of advanced Alzheimer's. The book is curiously uplifting, as the author manages to make peace with the loss of her husband by the end. However, especially early on it is almost painful to read - not because the writing is bad, but because of the intensity of the subject matter. Watching somebody lose themselves to Alzheimer's is hard, and this book does a good job of bringing you into that world.

The book is a bit repetitive at times, and in that way is slightly less well written than the first (Alzheimer's - a love story) but is again a good read for people who have a loved one with the disease.

[Lara]

I loved this book. I am reading and re reading it now that a dear friend has been diagnosed with “mild cognitive decline”. Thiis book is so well written, heartfelt and personal. I felt i got to know Julien through Ann’s eyes. I so admire Ann Davidson for putting out this beautiful and heart wrenching story of her relationship with her husband as they struggle with his dementia. What a story. I’m finding it incredibly helpful and I’m eternally grateful for this book and the woman who wrote it. Brava!

[Susan Rosen]

Frightening but poignant

Frightening but honest look at the Alzheimer’s journey. Davidson paints a vivid picture of the stages and struggles of patient and caregiver.

[Kaye]

This was a gorgeous book about a woman caring for her alzeimer's stricken husband. This book made me see how strongly and deeply people can love, and made me see how good people really can be.

[Becky]

I really admire how this author is able to write openly about her adjustment to her husband's Alzheimer's.