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The Home I Find With You

Skye Kilaen (Goodreads Author)

4.53 · Rating details · 19 ratings · 16 reviews

A polyamorous romance about building a new life after the world falls apart.

Life in rural Colorado fifteen years after the second U.S. Civil War is perilous. Van and his girlfriend Hadas only recovered from the attack that killed Van’s wife because their community helped them heal. The warmth Van and Hadas share isn’t the love he lost, but it’s precious. He’s content.

Clark ...more

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Kindle Edition, 337 pages

Published March 3rd 2021

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March 2021 MM Releases

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Jan 05, 2021 Skye Kilaen added it · (Review from the author)

Shelves: bi-pan-characters-yay, books-i-wrote-yay, queer-romance-queer-author-faves, romance-disability-health, romance-polyam-faves

The Home I Find With You, my first polyamorous romance, is out now on Kindle and in KU. The book has:
- People working together to survive, heal, and support each other even in difficult circumstances. Less grim post-apocalypse and more hopepunk optimism.
- M/M romance with light D/s elements.
- Polyamory, wherein one MC has a girlfriend, and she very much approves of him dating the other MC - but also there's a mini-arc about that first MC and his girlfriend successfully figuring out their own rel ...more

flag 26 likes · Like · see review

Apr 01, 2021 Dee rated it really liked it

Shelves: m-m-romance

Although my preferred genre is lesfic, I enjoyed this story more than the first book I read by this author Get It Right. Other than a few instances of choppy writing that threw me out of the story, it flowed better.

I haven't seen many authors publish a (mostly) M/M book after publishing a F/F book, and I hope this book reaches the right audience.

If I hadn't been a lover of post apocalyptic stories, I likely would've have picked it up. But I digress. If the blurb appeals, give this one a shot. I ...more

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Jan 24, 2021 Laura added it

Shelves: chosen-family, polyam, queer-lit, early-reader, indie-pub, mm

I received an early copy from the author for content notes. This in no way influences my review; all words thoughts and opinions are my own.

Skye is proving herself to be very good at writing sweet, emotional romances! I loved the growth of characters and learning to better communicate, as well as seeing all these different people figure out dynamics that work best for them and their needs. If you're looking for more polycule type polyamorous romances with a hopeful chosen family post-apocalyptic ...more

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Mar 01, 2021 Althea rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2021-releases, dystopian, lgbt, lgbt-authors, achillean, poly, romance, adult, arcs, ebooks

4.5/5 Stars

Once again Skye Kilaen has written a beautiful novel so full of hope and love that I absolutely devoured in the space of a day! This is my fourth read from Skye, including Knock Me Down, and I can safely say that her writing just keeps getting better and better! The world building in this book was so, so great - the small, abandoned, post second civil-war town setting was developed so strongly that I could picture everything so clearly in my head as we followed the two main characters ...more

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Feb 23, 2021 Emmalita rated it really liked it

Shelves: advanced-reader-copy, cbr13, m-m, post-apocalypse, romance

It was profoundly strange to read a dystopian romance set in a United States after a climate change and racism driven civil war while my city and state were going through a climate driven disaster exacerbated by racist policies. If it had been written by another author, I probably would have put it aside as too close to home, but Skye Kilaen writes with such kindness that it was a balm to read about her characters working together as a community to survive.

Set in a small town outside of Denver, It was profoundly strange to read a dystopian romance set in a United States after a climate change and racism driven civil war while my city and state were going through a climate driven disaster exacerbated by racist policies. If it had been written by another author, I probably would have put it aside as too close to home, but Skye Kilaen writes with such kindness that it was a balm to read about her characters working together as a community to survive.

Set in a small town outside of Denver, The Home I Find With You centers on Van, who took over as the head of town security when his wife died fighting off a group of thieves, and Clark, newly arrived in town looking for a fresh start after an accident. Climate change and the aftermath of the war are making the town a hard place to survive. Everyone has trauma, whether it’s from the war or from the hardships in a post war landscape. The town operates on cooperation within and also with other local towns. As a new resident, Clark wants to make himself valuable and be considered reliable. He also wants Van, but just for fun. Van has partnered with Hadas, but their relationship is open. The romance between Van and Clark is a slow burn, though they do have a couple of unsatisfying sexual encounters. Everyone here is traumatized, whether from the war or life after. It makes sense that they would be emotionally guarded. Kilaen puts the ingredients for emotional intimacy in the crock pot and lets them slowly come together into a lovely polycule relationship between Clark, Van and Hadas.

The idea of war or some other apocalypse returning us to a small community, quasi-agrarian/hunter-gatherer life has been a popular prompt for story telling. Very often it’s based in regressive ideas about the virtues of a simple life and a return to “traditional” gender roles. Kilaen turns all that on it’s head and instead tells a story of people who are scarred by violence and seek to heal with kindness. There is no room for traditional gender roles when everyone is trying to survive, and at least one character is nonbinary. As with Kilaen’s other books, her characters feel like solid people who would probably stop to help you change your tire on a cold, rainy night.

The Home I Find With You is out March 3. I received an advance reader copy from the author in exchange for an honest review. ...more

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Apr 13, 2021 Shivani Seth rated it it was amazing

This book was like juggling flamethrowers, knives and kittens at the same time and it totally worked.

I was supposed to be asleep two hours ago.

No regrets though.

Also, damn that was good!

Disclaimer: I received an arc of this book for honest review and I nah have to go buy some backlist so realt, everyone wins here.

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Feb 23, 2021 Ruth Fasham rated it it was amazing

This was a really fantastic read: An emotionally thoughtful book with great depth to the various characters and the balances found and developing in their relationships.

There's a full list of CW on the website for the bookbut a few main ones- violence and death as part of a post civil war society; non-negotiated D/s dynamic; grief; internalised ableism

Set in a period after a future civil war, we are based in one of the new communities set up, and mainly gollow the development of a relationship This was a really fantastic read: An emotionally thoughtful book with great depth to the various characters and the balances found and developing in their relationships.

There's a full list of CW on the website for the bookbut a few main ones- violence and death as part of a post civil war society; non-negotiated D/s dynamic; grief; internalised ableism

Set in a period after a future civil war, we are based in one of the new communities set up, and mainly gollow the development of a relationship between Van, a stronghold and leader of the community, and Clark, a new arrival. When the story opens, Van is dealing with grief after the death of his wife in previous battles between this community and outside raiders, and the effect that that has had on him not merely on a personal level but also by leaving him a position of greater authority than he had originally considered. Relationship wise, he has a girlfriend, Hadas, and a more casual hookup partner, Jaime. When I first read the blurb for the book, I had assumed that the relationship between Hadas and Van would be pretty strong and established at the start, but actually we see much more how Van is struggling, closing himself off so as to avoid being vulnerable and risk getting so badly hurt again. One of things I enjoyed greatly within the novel is how we see the unreliability of the character's POV narration as in here, where Van insists that his relationship with Hadas is not so serious, but we can see the glimpses of how he tries to guard himself off from the reality of his feelings. I did feel sometimes that I might liked to have had a few chapters from Hadas perspective too, mostly because I really liked her! But I did feel that she was given a lot of positive attention and development in the book too.

Clark is another great character whose vulnerability is also shielded, but through his emphasis on casual sex and hookups rather than allowing a relationship. Just as I liked seeing the development of Van and Hadas, I really liked that Clark was given the opportunity to face his past relationships. Both really worked for me to see the characters in greater depth and to make the future both happier and more sustainable.

There was a lot about consent and communication in the book, which I think came partly from the themes of D/s and polyamory, and it was something which I really enjoyed seeing, especially in the way that they did mess up in this regard, but addressed the issues and worked through it. Its very much still a work in progress at the end, but the progress is getting there and there is a real sense of hope. Positive communication methods are exactly what I love to see!

And hope is one of the fundamental themes in the book and which was one if the things that kept me gripped to it throughout. There was always this sense that the characters would work through things, even if they lost someone or a relationship changed form, there was still a future somewhere.

This book gave me do much to think about and worked in a lot of depth, and I really enjoyed reading it.

*I received a free ARC of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review* ...more

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Mar 03, 2021 Lauren loves llamas rated it really liked it

Shelves: arc, read-in-2021, romance, dystopia, post-apocalyptic

Content warnings: (view spoiler) | Author’s content warnings

The author calls it “hopepunk” a Content warnings: (view spoiler) | Author’s content warnings

The author calls it “hopepunk” and that’s definitely a good description. Despite the fact that it’s set in a world reeling from climate changes and the after effects of war, it’s really quite sweet, full of chosen family and people doing their best to heal and help others heal.

Van’s partner died three years ago in a battle with raiders. Irene had run defense for the circuit towns, a group of settlements who’ve banded together loosely for protection against raiders. After her passing, Van took up the job. It’s been mostly quiet since, but a new rash of smaller thefts suggests the pattern is starting again, and the last thing he needs is someone new moving unannounced into his town. Clark’s come to stay with his estranged mom after running from his latest relationship disaster. Van immediately catches his eye, but he’s not interested in anything serious – that’s how he got in trouble in his last place. Van notices Clark, as well, but he’s not sure he can get what he wants – what he needs – from him. With the raids worsening, Van’s life is only getting more dangerous. Is there room for both men to heal enough to figure out what they both need?

Van and Clark are great characters. Clark has a lot of issues he’s mostly trying to ignore. There’s always something that needs fixing in any community, and Clark immerses himself in trying to make himself useful, even if that means picking up his gun and taking lookout tower shifts, something that’s rough for him between his injured leg and his PTSD from being a sniper during the war. In Clark’s mind, if he keeps his head down and just keeps working, no one’ll expect much more of him – or kick him out of town. Van knows he’s a valued member of the community, which has its own pitfalls. Being the head of the defense team isn’t exactly what he wants to be doing, but it’s necessary and someone has to do it. Plus, it means he gets to spend more time with Hadas, who he’s in an open relationship with. Van had a dom/sub relationship with Irene, and while he loves Hadas, they don’t have that sort of relationship. He feels that pull with Clark, though, but Clark is pretty clueless about how that lifestyle works.

I thought the romance between all the characters was well done. I don’t know much about polycule relationships, and I’m more used to triads where all the members are sexually involved with each other, but I thought how each relationship worked for each character was well explained. The main focus is on Van and Clark, of course, but there’s also Van’s relationship with Hadas, Van’s relationship (or not) with Jaime, and Clark’s relationship with his ex Thao. Both men have issues they’re trying to work through, usually on their own, so you can guess how that goes initially, and it takes time for their relationship to form. There is a big focus on communication, not just with their partners but also with other members of the community. While Van and Hadas have been sleeping together for quite a while by the time the story starts, Van is still so traumatized from Irene’s death that he’s holding back from realizing how much she means to him, and it takes more relationship upheaval before he even admits it to himself, let alone Hadas. The consent is well thought out, and when boundaries are crossed (unintentionally for the most part), the characters apologize, communicate, and don’t do it again.

Overall, while there’s a lot of possibly heavy content, this is overall a very lovely read.

I received an advance review copy of this book from the author. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review. ...more

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Mar 03, 2021 Sherilyn Moreton rated it really liked it

I read chapter 1 early February, then put it down because I had other books to finish on a timeline, so I read the last blast of it in a period of four days.

I received this ARC from the author in exchange for a review - that doesn't affect how my review will be.

First and foremost - I love the relationship between the characters - this is more a character driven book than a plot driven book. The characters talk to each other. This story explores a post apocalyptic war and the struggling groups o I read chapter 1 early February, then put it down because I had other books to finish on a timeline, so I read the last blast of it in a period of four days.

I received this ARC from the author in exchange for a review - that doesn't affect how my review will be.

First and foremost - I love the relationship between the characters - this is more a character driven book than a plot driven book. The characters talk to each other. This story explores a post apocalyptic war and the struggling groups of people trying to pick up the pieces afterwards - including making relationships and new found families along the way. It's queer as hell and I'm HERE FOR IT. There are a lot of bisexual characters (mostly men, I believe), pronouns are openly discussed, RELATIONSHIPS ARE OPENLY DISCUSSED, and there are several healthy open relationships. ALSO All these people need therapy. ;) I say that about almost every book, of course, because it is my firm believe that every person in the world can benefit from therapy, but these people have been through immense trauma and it would make sense that they're suffering.

I wish it was longer with more story explained - by the end of the book there was what seemed to be a gang war? A group of thieves doing hits on towns to steal stuff? I'm honestly not sure, and I would have liked to have had more backstory on the group, and in general. I feel this book could have benefitted from about a hundred more pages of back and front story, woven in with the characters. It reminds me of Far Cry 5 and Last of Us (two of my very fave games) in a post apocalyptic kind of way, but I wanted more of that.

I didn't like the unmarked shifts in perspective, found it jarring without being marked, so it did ruin immersion for me.

Loved the relationship discussions. This is an important and accurate portrayal of moving on from grief in a complex situation. Grief is difficult enough without an apocalypse.

Overall, I liked it, but I wish it had been longer! I'm looking forward to reading more of Skye's work in the future. :) ...more

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Feb 21, 2021 Kelly Dalton rated it it was amazing

Shelves: arc-ebook

Mild spoilers!

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I read an ARC and loved this! I was especially impressed with the way the author subtly worked the post-apocalyptic setting into scenes that were focussed on something else with just little details like saving beer-bottle caps to use on the next batch, saving scraps of lumber left over after a building project, having a town medic but having to go to a larger settlement to see a doctor, etc. It really brought home that these people were just managing to ...more

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Mar 02, 2021 Juniper Greer-Ashe rated it it was amazing

In a post-apocalyptic world where civilization is fragmented following the Second Civil War, resources are scarce and the environment is inhospitable, surviving isn’t easy. Van leads his town’s defense force and tries to keep his community together as best he can, even though he’s still reeling from the loss of his lover and Dom. Clark has walled himself off from emotional connection of any kind, dazed and nearly broken from the war, his recent accident that has left him in chronic pain, and a f ...more

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Mar 29, 2021 Danial rated it it was amazing

An enjoyable story that has both heavy, sad moments and light, funny moments. Featuring wonderful characters

This story is set in a post-civil war 2 America caused by white supremacists - No surprise there. The war has ended but life is not the same. Clark ran away from his town and moved to the town his mum was living in. He meets Van there. I liked how Clark and Van interacted - How Clark could be confident but also awkward at times. There were sad moments in the story but there were also plent ...more

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Mar 02, 2021 A.E. Bennett rated it it was amazing

What do you get when you blend post-apocalyptic and romantic tropes? This awesome read. As someone who really enjoys both genres, this book hit the spot for me. There's a great balance between peril (without the threat of sexual assault - rare in my experience with post-apocalyptic stories) and gentle scenes that build up to affection between certain characters. Skye's a really gifted writer and I'm glad she shared this story with us! ...more

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Apr 03, 2021 Anya Artekis rated it really liked it

Shelves: angst, drama, soldiers, poly

This novel took me by surprise because it's not usually one i would enjoy. Characters like Clarke, if not written well, really turns me off and i have problems with books where i don't understand the world by chapter three. However, this book really kept me hooked. Of course the poly tag helped. i rarely find any good books with polyamory in it. so this was a treat for me. ...more

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Mar 10, 2021 Angela rated it really liked it

Shelves: favorites

I really do seem to have a thing for these lovely polyamourous love stories. even as they make me cry so damn much. the ending on this one got me especially good.

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Feb 16, 2021 Danai writes rated it it was amazing

A quiet, hopeful, slow-burn M/M story that stays with you long after you're done reading
Here's my problem with post-collapse stories: I refuse to believe that people will jump on the first chance to revert into a Mad Max kind of chaos and anarchy, killing and looting and being "every man for himself". And yet, most books and movies keep trying to convince us that this is the case.
Skye Kilaen goes another way: she has created a post-collapse world that is as intricate as it is wholesome. Some pe ...more

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About Skye Kilaen

Skye Kilaen

151 followers

Skye Kilaen writes queer romance, both contemporary and science fiction, that is sometimes about polyamorous relationships.

Skye started writing fiction in elementary school on a Smith Corona electric typewriter because that's all people had back in the early 1980s. She didn't realize she wanted to read and write romance until much later, when it finally dawned on her that she adored X-Men comics f ...more