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The Calm I Seek: A heartbreaking novel about redemption and forgiveness

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4.50  ·  Rating details ·  22 ratings  ·  21 reviews
With love, betrayal and grief disrupting her perfectly peaceful life, will she fight for the happiness she deserves?

After the violent death of her husband, Rebecca Holmes is content leading a quiet life spending time with her sisters and niece. When her younger sister Hannah asks her to plan her wedding, Rebecca discovers her friends and family all think her life is empty.
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Published November 26th 2020 by Pheasant Hill Press
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Average rating 4.50  · 
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Start your review of The Calm I Seek: A heartbreaking novel about redemption and forgiveness
Genny
Oct 26, 2020 rated it liked it
CW: emotional abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, loss of a family member

Thank you to Netgalley and BooksGoSocial for the ARC of The Calm I Seek in return for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions on this book are my own and were not influenced by receiving an advanced copy.

I honestly have mixed feelings about this book. The message was so important, that God’s forgiveness and grace knows no bounds, even when we feel like we may be the exception. The title The Calm I Seek is very fitting f
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Lori
Oct 30, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: christian, fiction
This is a heart wrenching Christian romance that touches on abuse, betrayal, guilt, religious doctrine, and forgiveness. My heart was broken with the characters as they move through this difficult but encouraging story of redemption and true relationship with a God that loves.

Rebecca Holmes has allowed the violent death of her husband to shake her faith. Her guilt at the circumstances of his death cause her to believe she can no longer find happiness and peace. She believes her mistakes are too
...more
CanditheBookworm
Dec 08, 2020 rated it really liked it
A well-written, relatable, and characters that have flaws but still likable debut novel. I enjoyed this novel but it will keep you in a sadness funk throughout. It’s a story of love, hate, guilt, understanding, forgiveness, and faith. It was refreshing to have a novel with Christian values / morality weaved in without being preachy, but in a positive and natural way.

I recommend this novel, but not for light reading. It touches on some very real uncomfortable issues and anyone with DV history wil
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Helen
Dec 06, 2020 rated it it was amazing
The Calm I Seek is Christina Lourens first novel. This is an amazing story that touches on tough subjects such as abuse, rape, suicide and alcoholism. This story is told in first person by Rebecca as we follow her through her life after killing her abusive husband in self defense. Three years later she runs her business, sees her family and very little else. She has also turned away from the church. One of her employees convinces her to take a salsa dance class and she develops a relationship wi ...more
Olivia
Nov 08, 2020 rated it really liked it
I enjoyed this book. It got off to a bit of a slow start but once I got into the book I couldn't put it down. Rebecca is so hurt and lonely, but she thinks loneliness is the only option for her. She is angry with God, and ultimately with herself. The theme of forgiveness that is woven through the book is especially touching. It can be a lot easier to forgive someone else than to forgive ourselves. As she worked through those feelings, her relationship with herself and others around her began to ...more
Tracy
Dec 07, 2020 rated it it was amazing
The Calm I seek a debut book... wow, what a great read for a debut book. I found it a little slow to begin with but quickly fell into the story. There was a warning of abuse but it was done very well and without great details of triggering memories, especially with someone who also has had experienced such abuse as me in my own.

I look forward to future reads and really hope there is a sequel to bring more of Rebecca and her friends and family.

received this book for free.

I received an advance rev
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Ellen
Oct 17, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Rebecca has had a hard life. Her parents died while she was young and her older sister, Laura, gave up everything to raise her and her younger sister, Hannah.

She has her own business and spends time with Laura and her family along with Hannah.

This is her story of love, hate, guilt, understanding and love again.

A wonderful Christian story well written and highly enjoyed. Highly recommended. I was given an advanced review copy for my honest review.
Mary Pauline M
Nov 23, 2020 rated it really liked it
Was very inspired and moved as I read this. Without giving away any storyline, this book was well written. Details blended together resulting in an enjoyable read.
Hepzibah Becca Jael
The Calm I Seek
Christina Lourens

*“In dancing, you have to let your heart and body do the talking. The mind can stop worrying.”
“And in life?”*

This is the author's debut novel and I'm glad I picked this book up because it's so good and inspiring and I loved every part of it, I loved every character because their flaws had perfection and each character had a back story and it's written in a single persons POV, I laughed with the characters, chried with them and got mad at a few and straight out wan
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Kym
Nov 19, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Rebecca has spent the last few years recovering mentally and emotionally from her late husband's abuse and his violent death. She is determined to keep herself safe, and that means no relationships. But her younger sister asks her to plan her wedding - Rebecca owns an event planning business - thinking Rebecca must have all kinds of time on her hands. Their domineering older sister and a couple of coworkers chime in and Rebecca discovers they all think she has a boring and empty life. She decide ...more
Hepzibah Becca Jael
Nov 19, 2020 rated it it was amazing
The Calm I Seek
Christina Lourens

*“In dancing, you have to let your heart and body do the talking. The mind can stop worrying.”
“And in life?”*

This is the author's debut novel and I'm glad I picked this book up because it's so good and inspiring and I loved every part of it, I loved every character because their flaws had perfection and each character had a back story and it's written in a single persons POV, I laughed with the characters, chried with them and got mad at a few and straight out wan
...more
Liz
Nov 13, 2020 rated it really liked it
This was such an interesting book that I devoured it in one day! At times it seemed some of the circumstances she included could have been "toned down" a bit, like the color of an oversaturated photo. But she has covered some difficult topics - domestic abuse, sexual assault, depression, family discord, betrayal - and made them believable, and even redeemable. In fact, that would have been a better title for this book; I don't think Rebecca was seeking "Calm" as much as "Peace," or specifically, ...more
Heather Russell
Nov 06, 2020 rated it really liked it
We all seek calm in our lives from the messy things that take place. For Rebecca, she has many things in her past that make her think she will never have the calm and peace she is seeking. As she takes a leap to silence the comments of friends and family about her lack of social life, she find more than she bargained for. She finds out that things are not as simple as she thought. New circumstances make her question her relationship with God and if He really wants what is best for her. She grows ...more
J
Oct 12, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I received an ARC from BooksGoSocial through Net Galley for an honest review. Rebecca was abused by her husband and when he died, she led a quiet life. When her younger sister Hannah became engaged, Hannah asked Rebecca to plan her wedding. Rebecca would have time because she didn't have a husband or kids, and had no life. Rebecca reluctantly agreed and she thought about what her family said. She decided to try salsa lessons.
When she got to the first class, she met the instructor Gabriel. They e
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Karen McG
Dec 31, 2020 rated it it was amazing
The Calm I Seek is an unforgettable story of heartache, relationships, pain and redeeming love. Author, Christina Lorens, writes in a way where you feel one with the character. Each emotion and relationship are written in a way as I’ve never read before.
Main character, Rebecca, is a young widow in a small town in England. A painful past, a controlling older sister, and her anger at God all keep her from embracing the life around her. She is content on lonely nights and overworking herself in he
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Meghan
This book was received as an ARC from BooksGoSocial in exchange for an honest review. Opinions and thoughts expressed in this review are completely my own.

I absolutely loved the story. The complications Rebecca faced throughout her life especially when her husband dies, was very heartbreaking and gut wrenching but, when she gets a chance to help plan her sister's wedding, she didn't realize that her life would change forever. Then, enter Gabriel her salsa teacher with a charismatic personality.
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Floraljoy
Dec 24, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Interesting and complex:
I really enjoyed this book and thought that it had a complexity and depth not always found in debut novels. It was a story about love, forgiveness and redemption. I liked that the characters were flawed and relatable, and that it dealt with some heavy subjects such as death and abuse but in such a way as to provide hope.
Widowed Rebecca had a lot of pain and guilt and she had effectively shut herself out from life. She was jaded and it took a while for her to learn to trus
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Norma Wiegert
Nov 29, 2020 rated it really liked it
Rebecca's life has been filled with drama. Her parents were killed in a car accident when she was only 8. Her older sister Laura abandoned her hopes for a college education to raise her sisters Rebecca and Hannah who was only 3 at the time. Rebecca married an abusive husband who she sabbed in self defense on Christmas 3 years ago. She has been dealing with the stress and guilt of that event ever since. Hannah is planning a wedding and wants Rebecca who is an event planner to plan the wedding, bu ...more
Judy Mucci
Nov 26, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I loved this full-length novel by Christina Lourens. It was very well written and had a little of everything. Family drama, domestic violence, romances, billionaire story, deceit, religion, drug overdose, wedding and a new engagement. Some of the story was dark. But mostly it was sweet and highlighted a typical dysfunctional family dynamic.

I received an advanced review copy for free in exchange for my voluntary and honest review.
Barbara Tsipouras
Dec 05, 2020 rated it really liked it
Rebecca doesn't easily trust, not any man, not her own feelings. She thinks she doesn't deserve happiness. As was to be expected things will change.
Accepting forgiveness sometimes isn't easy, believing that God is able to forgive everything is even more difficult.

This was a nice entertaining novel with good characters.
...more
Bonny Rambarran
Nov 04, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Oh my goodness -- how can she be calm after killing her abusive husband. Why didn't God stop him? How can she be calm when her sister constantly has to be right? And when her friend recommends that she join a salsa class to get out of her rut . . . how can she be calm when the teacher is SO hot? This is such amazing book -- absolutely loved every minute of it!!! ...more
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