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Anxious to Please: 7 Revolutionary Practices for the Chronically Nice

3.82  ·  Rating details ·  266 Ratings  ·  33 Reviews
Do you (or does someone you know)...
--Apologize frequently or for things you are not responsible for?
--Get preoccupied with what other people think of you?
--Become unhappy when your partner isn't happy?
--Feel worried or fretful so often it seems normal?
--Often not know what you want?
--Constantly second-guess yourself?
Chronic Niceness affects multitudes, causing severe an
Paperback, 232 pages
Published April 1st 2006 by Sourcebooks
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Max Cherepitsa Better try 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' by Robert A. Glover.
Same topic, better style, more practice. Found it more useful and helpful.
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Jun 21, 2014 rated it liked it
First impression about the narration style was that is purely American, addressed to a certain type of readers, it seemed a bit puerile and meant to convince –like a commercial. Later on I got used to it; I don’t enjoy the undertone of the text. The interest in the book, I thought is fired up artificially in the first chapter – repetitions, marketing expressions, promises of how the reader’s life will change dramatically, etc; going forward with the reading I came to ignore it – I noticed parts ...more
Jan 04, 2009 rated it liked it
Shelves: psychology
This book was difficult to get through because it covered basics that I've read about in much greater technical detail before. Having said that, it is a good book, with helpful insights and suggestions.
Andy Hickman
Jan 01, 2018 rated it it was amazing
“Anxious to Please: 7 Revolutionary Practices for the Chronically Nice” by James Rapson, Craig English.

ANXIOUS TO PLEASE is a very insightful and informative book. Essential for anyone seeking to break life-long patterns of dysfunction.

Intro: An Epidemic of Nice People

Nice people over-function, over-adapt, over-apologize. They navigate their world by accommodating and acquiescing – by trying to please. When things aren't working, they try harder – and most of the time, they're trying harder to b
Max Cherepitsa
Толковей по этой теме книжка «Хватит быть славным парнем». Здесь как-то маловато практики, часто скачет мысль, полкнижки анонсируют, как вот-вот-мы-вам-кой-чо-расскажем, а потом не особенно рассказывают.
Leanna Henderson
Jan 08, 2014 rated it really liked it
I am so glad I came across this little book while Christmas shopping at Barnes & Nobles. It really opened my eyes to a lot of things in my life. It was “spot on.” I am definitely a “Nice Person,” i.e. too nice. I am constantly sacrificing my own needs and wants to please others, then complimenting myself in my head for my martyrdom. Heck, I even get bossed around by myself! I never realized how this behavior has affected every single area of my life. In fact, I think it’s been encouraged by ...more
Galina V
Jan 23, 2018 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Arika Escalona
Jun 20, 2012 rated it it was amazing
The topic isn't for everyone, but for those who fit the bill, this is really excellent.
Feb 12, 2018 rated it liked it
I might've sworn off any self-help books for a while after the disasterpiece that was You Were not Born to Suffer, but the free preview for Anxious to Please on Play Books absolutely sold me. "Hey," I thought, "all of this sounds like me, kind of!" So I forked out the 15 quid and happily read away.

The book starts off convincing enough: here's is what a Nice Guy/Girl tends to act like, and this is why. The problem is that the meat of the thing - the 7 practices - are hardly "revolutionary" on the
Nov 11, 2016 rated it really liked it
The first part is a good introduction into attachment theory. If you can't understand why you seem to cling to lovers, unable to stand up for what you want and end up famished in a relationship where you give up so much, it helps understand where that comes from.

The second part is about the 7 practices to start healing and that is an absolute must-read. No matter what your issues are, some of those practices will help. It's very hands on and practical, goes over "how to", difficulties etc. Aware
Steve Payeur
Jan 22, 2018 rated it really liked it
Psychology applicable to stances resulting from a range of origins. Tells a lot about the causes, characteristics, and ways unhealthy way of relating to people. I'd recommend it. It definitely applies to me right now.
Anna Mezhova
Jul 09, 2018 rated it liked it
Struck a chord in the first chapters when describing how someone's upbringing turns them into a 'too nice' person and how it subsequently affects their life and relationships, but became annoyingly self-helpish very soon, with vague recommendations not backed by any science. Scrolled through.
Jul 31, 2011 rated it really liked it
If you know someone who suffers from anxiety or you yourself suffer from it, this is a good read to explain why. People who suffer from this anxiety are what he calls "too nice" - they don't believe they can be loved or deserved to be loved and they often live a life of quiet desperation searching for the love they somehow missed out on as children and may have been made worse by relationships with partners or people they are dating. They don't choose to obsess about what others are thinking, th ...more
Dec 10, 2015 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Книга отвратительная.

Если верить содержанию книги, все вокруг больны и нуждаются в срочном лечении своих психологических расстройств. Явно это не сказано, но под характеристики "славных людей" подпадают все кроме людей-нарциссов. Если быть откровенным, я повелся на милую обложку и название книги. Ожидал приятное чтение и пару полезных советов по самосовершенствованию.
Читать было противно и местами смешно.
Советы из книги (не дословно, но суть похожа) :
- Когда Ваш партнер задает вопросы и они
Maria Bungău
Jun 21, 2014 rated it liked it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Aug 18, 2015 rated it it was amazing
I picked up this book while perusing at Barnes and Noble, and I found the questions on the back surprisingly very relevant to me. Particularly, "Apologize frequently for things you are not responsible for?" and "Get preoccupied with what other people think of you?" This book develops the problem of being a "Nice Person", illustrates where the problem originates from, and then gives a series of practices that can be used to overcome it. I think everyone has a bit of a Nice Person in them and that ...more
Nikita Skiba
Nov 05, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Книга представляет собой пошаговую инструкцию по трансформации личности из состояния "славного" или "хронически тревожного" человека в состояние "трансформирующегося". Оговаривается, что трансформация это длительный процесс, в ходе которого менять придется, возможно, все стороны своей жизни. Рассматриваются основные техники трансформации, по отдельности, и в совокупности. Приводится великое множество примеров применения этих техник в жизни, примеров "славности" и тревожности, примеров неправильн ...more
James Andersen
Jul 26, 2013 rated it really liked it
This book seems to be better than other books I have read on the subject (so far). The book discusses the origins of Anxious Attachment Disorder as well as its effects on peoples lives and how to treat it, while I whole heartedly agree with the treatment methods, sometimes I feel like the origins is explained to us as if we were totally victims of everything else around us, which is kind of disempowering since it leaves a cold determinism to explain the origins of this disorder, nonetheless I di ...more
Jan 31, 2014 rated it liked it
The couples therapist I was recently seeing recommended I listen to this book in my car.

As I'm the sort of person who does what my therapist says, at least early on in the relationship, I did it; listened to this book. I had never listened to a book in my car before.

My takeaway is: when you're listening to a book, it matters who is reading.

The voice actor (I have no idea the term) verily sneered every time she pronounced the word "nice." The word "nice" appears roughly two gazillion times in t
Jun 30, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Эту книгу я открыла для себя в нужном месте и в нужное время. Начинала ее читать несколько раз, сначала в интернете, потом в PDF, затем, наконец, купила ее. Пока изучила теоретически, но, как авторы сами пишут, книга должна стать настольной и перечитанной до дыр, а затем быть забытой за ненадобностью. Сейчас, пока мотивация еще сильна, буду пробовать применять указанные в книге практики и уже изучу ее с практической точки зрения.
Keirstyn Obermiller
Mar 17, 2016 rated it it was ok
I didn't even finish this book because I can't stand how it's written. It completely generalizes on everything and made it seem like nice people can only come from one type of background. That all nice people are the same. It also seems to be stuck in the past where men are the sole providers of the family and the women stay home all the time which is certainly not the case in this day and age.
Jun 29, 2014 rated it liked it
I'm learning a lot about myself and why I act certain ways! I hope to be able to use the steps in this book to retrain myself to be less anxious and less chronically nice. Who knew that being nice isn't always 'nice'?
Shawnee Bowlin
May 02, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
There has been some criticism of self-help books, but they are what you make them. Take what you need from them. But, as should be with everything, they are not a "one-fits-all" solution.
Anxious to Please is very helpful and insightful. It can hit close to home and open awareness.
Aug 13, 2009 rated it really liked it
Very good book for me to read. It explained a lot to me about my life, and it helped me to understand myself better.
Shaher H. Novelist
Sep 23, 2016 rated it it was ok
It is full of repetitions and hard to understand.
Jan 31, 2013 rated it it was amazing
This book described me perfectly.
I'd been a chronically nice person my whole life, now I'm finally learning not being nice all the time is OK, and much healthier.
Jun 02, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Really opened my eyes to how I was and made me more aware of my " nice girl" ... Helped my myself and my relationship!
Jennifer Jennette
Jul 29, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I would give this book a 10 star rating if I could.
Ілля Слаба
Many waters us to me :), but very interesting....
Aug 12, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Insightful, honest and very readable, this is a great book.
Jun 08, 2015 rated it it was amazing
An amazing book on how to get over being too nice!
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