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Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child: Making Sense of the Past
Telling a child he or she is adopted can be a trying task, but this is only the first step. After becoming aware that he or she is adopted, the child will question the details of the adoption. The truth may reveal details that are painful and sometimes traumatic: a parent is in prison, a drug addict, or even a rapist. In "Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child," ...more
Hardcover, 256 pages
Published July 30th 2000 by Praeger
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This book is recommended a lot and in general I agree that it is a very good book. I especially liked the detailed examples given of specific types of difficult birthfamily information (including birthparent prostitution, addiction, etc.) and how to explain each type to children at different ages. There is also excellent information on how children are processing information at different ages and “translations” for the hurtful things they may say to their adoptive parents at different stages. It ...more
This book gives practical advice about how to discuss the hard facts related to a child's placement or adoption (particularly issues like abuse, incest, substance abuse, etc). The book points out that adoption is one of the only relationships that begins with a loss of everyone involved. The chapters about specific language to use related to developmental stages were particularly well written. There are some annoying editing errors. Several pseudonyms were reused throughout the book, sometimes m ...more
This is one of the best books I have read so far on how to have an open relationship with your adopted children about their past and their biological relatives. It was helpful to have it broken down into age group what a child is able to understand about adoption. I loved reading the scenarios and found the sample conversations for each age group interesting and helpful..I will using this book as a tool to have conversations with my son as he grows and is ready for more information about his pas ...more
This was a wonderful book of practical advice on how to communicate difficult information to your foster and adopted children. I love how they break down different types of scenarios they may have led to the child being placed into foster care and/or adoption (physical abuse, substance abuse, mental health, etc, etc), and then the breakdown of ages and what type of information is appropriate to share at that age. A great reference as we move through these stages.
This book was assigned reading from our agency. It has a good message (tell the truth to your kids about their past) and some great information about how to broach sensitive topics. By the end of the book, it felt really repetitive, but I think this book will be a good resource to go back to.
This book had some good tips and many good points but I think that talking to professionals who actually know my kids is the most helpful way for me to figure these things out. That being said, it's always good to hear that our situation isn't the only one like it in the world.