Connecting with Kids through Stories: Using Narratives to Facilitate Attachment in Adopted Children

by Denise B. Lacher, Todd Nichols

Children whose early development has been damaged by abuse or neglect are notoriously difficult to reach. Through many years' therapeutic work with adopted children and their families, the Family Attachment Center of Minnesota has developed an exciting and innovative technique which uses stories as the main mode for helping parents to communicate and connect with their troubled children. Connecting with Kids through Stories is an accessible guide to Family Attachment Narrative Therapy for the parents of adopted or fostered children, and for the professionals who work with them. Providing a thorough theoretical grounding, and detailed information on therapeutic techniques and how to assess progress, the book shows parents how to create their own therapeutic stories to promote increased attachment and improved behavior in their child. The authors describe how different kinds of narratives can help with specific difficulties and illustrate their techniques with the story of a fictional family who develop their own narratives to help their adopted child heal. The Family Attachment and Counseling Center of Minnesota works to promote the growth and healthy functioning of individuals and families through professional guidance, with a particular emphasis on services for children. The Center's Family Attachment Narrative Therapy program has been especially developed to help children whose development has been compromised by early life trauma and attachment relationship difficulties.

Genres: Adoption, Parenting

144 pages, Paperback

First published February 28, 2005

Reviews

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book truly changed my life. It was amazing!

As an adoptive mom who struggles to connect with a daughter who was institutionalized for most of her first year of life (and thus struggles to attach), this book provided a new look at a problem I've been trying to grapple with for years. This amazing, fresh approach to viewing attachment issues was extremely helpful.

The authors show us how to connect with our adopted children by telling them stories that help us "claim" them as part of our family, help them heal from specific trauma, help them get past developmental roadblocks, and help them understand what it means to be "successful" and make good decisions.

It's a short book that's easy to read, and really written for parents (rather than tharapists). At first the approach of storytelling seems way too simple for such a complex problem. But I can personally attest that following their suggestions has made significant differences for my family.

The authors also help you explore your own hurts, and how our childhood issues affect our ability to parent. When you struggle to connect with a child, telling them a story gives you a much easier way to connect than to lecture, demand, coerce, etc. And for those of us who struggle to connect on an emotional level, storytelling helps you do just that with your child.

I wish I had read this book years ago. If your child has attachment issues and you struggle to connect, I highly suggest reading this book.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

The intro is long if you already have a solid understanding of attachment/trauma. The remainder of the book is fantastic.

[Roozbeh Daneshvar · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is supposedly for foster and adoptive families, although I expect that the concepts could [potentially] apply to any family. The basic idea is to utilize stories for your children and put the past traumas, attachment impediments, and generally lives into stories. These stories would be gateways to your children and their shelled side.

There are sample stories in the book, although they serve more as placeholders. You would need to craft your own stories based on your children and your own conditions. Yet, I still believe that the authors could have used examples much more extensively, even though these examples are not to be used as they are literally. I had the impression that the concepts became too abstract at some points, and more concrete examples could have helped.

[Evelyn]

Love it

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book, very informative and answered every question that popped into my head.