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You're Invited: The Art and Science of Cultivating Influence
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You're Invited: The Art and Science of Cultivating Influence

3.66  ·  Rating details ·  343 ratings  ·  38 reviews
Regardless of what you want to accomplish, from growing your business, creating a great company culture, championing a social cause, or affecting your habits, you can’t do it alone. The people around you define your success (whatever that means for you) and they have the potential to change the course of your life.

That’s what You’re Invited is about: The most universal str
Hardcover, 272 pages
Published May 11th 2021 by Harper Business
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Irina Kozyrkov
May 16, 2021 rated it it was amazing
I loved this book. It's an easy read, but that doesn't mean it's without substance. Quite the contrary - this book is medicine for the loneliness epidemic and it's more urgently needed now than ever. Many of us have lost close ties with supportive communities and we're far away from our friends. "You're Invited" helps you *do* something about it. It's about learning to grow your influence so you can build communities and friendships.

I'm a professional behavioral scientist, so I kept an eye out f
Paul Miller
Jun 07, 2021 rated it liked it
Well-intentioned - if you wish to cultivate a community in support of a business objective, a cause, or simply for social reasons, you will achieve better outcomes if you're purposeful about it. All well and good. He's got some great experiences to share but doesn't take that extra step of formulating the guidance into simple lists/tables/charts. Just prose, prose, prose. Decent book but would've been much better with another pass through Editing. ...more
Zibby Owens
Jun 29, 2021 rated it it was amazing
The book explores this idea of how do we make deep and meaningful relationships with anybody and where do we start? It doesn't matter if they're a global leader or a celebrity, or a community leader that you just find really interesting. How do you build trust in a meaningful way? How do you foster the sense of community and belonging around you? The author is a behavioral scientist and investigated these questions by getting advice from celebrities and important people to join a private communi ...more
May 12, 2021 rated it it was amazing
"You're Invited" is way more aligned with my preferred action-fueled style than the academic, pedagogical books on influence by Robert Cialdini. And definitely agree - human connection is both art and science - and both are deeply and complementarily covered here. This feels both timeless and timely, with insights you'd find helpful anytime as well as guidance for navigating intimacy and community during the post-pandemic times.

P.S. Read cover to cover for a fun hidden surprise :)
Jason Binford
Jun 10, 2021 rated it it was amazing
I bought "You're Invited" after reading the favorable review in the Wall Street Journal. I was already searching for resources for re-engaging with people in person after more than a year of sad and impersonal Zoom meetings. This book was exactly what I was looking for. It has given me all sorts of ideas for getting back out there. And, it is doubly helpful for me because I just moved to a new city and these ideas will really help me get plugged into the community. Highly recommended! ...more
Kathleen Witte
Aug 18, 2021 rated it really liked it
I don’t really know why I read this book, but I think I’m glad I did? Mostly?

It’s about how to benevolently “influence” people and share human connection, whether you’re trying to make new friends or trying to sell stuff to strangers. It’s an interesting take on how to make others interested and trusting in a brand—even if that brand is just YOU.

I would recommend this to my friends starting businesses or looking to create community events. Well-written and practical advice. Fun anecdotes.

Jeffrey Madoff
May 15, 2021 rated it it was amazing
"You're Invited" is an interesting read for anyone trying to understand the psychology of relationships and influence. It's not about "networking", an activity the author does not like, it's about building a sense of community, where the building blocks are honesty, trust, competence and benevolence. Trust is an essential building block. What's interesting about the book and the studies that Levy writes about, it that much of the process of building relationships is fascinating and makes perfect ...more
Jun 04, 2021 rated it really liked it
Shelves: x-2021
4/5 stars

I liked this! I would recommend you read this in concert with The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, which approaches gathering in a similar but more detailed way and focuses less on the idea of influence.
Jan 27, 2022 rated it liked it
This is one of those fluffy books you can read at 2.5x speed and not lose any nuance. It's partially a manual for throwing networking events, and for this purpose, it's not bad. It's a bit all over the place, and there's some typical rehashing of pop psych (e.g., a summary of Adam Grant's _Give and Take_, of the "halo and horns" framework, etc.). There's also a plethora of examples and anecdotes of entrepreneurial types who are having some success running the sorts of events described here, whic ...more
May 28, 2021 rated it it was amazing
Jon Levy has written a modern How To Win Friends and Influence People bolstered by data and case studies that take the reader inside the process of real change and connection. You’re Invited is an argument and guidebook for putting aside the division that permeates our culture and building a more humane world in which people will thrive simply by knowing one another better.
Oct 20, 2021 added it
The secret to all successful companies and social movements is that they mobilize groups of people to bond with one another and form strong communities. Understanding behavioral psychology will allow you to design events that maximize the potential for connection and collaboration. Through these events, you can create social, corporate, or cause-based communities that reflect your key values.

And here’s some more actionable advice:

Abandon networking.

Networking events are ubiquitous in corporate
Oct 28, 2021 rated it liked it
Shelves: fall-term
I felt like this book was similar to many other books on the subject- a lot of common sense advice with examples of uber rich/famous people and feels a bit far fetched for the average person. I found some useful tidbits from a marketing perspective but not really anything groundbreaking for my personal life. I sped read through the last quarter of the book because it didn't tickle my fantasy anymore. ...more
Craig Adamson
Aug 10, 2021 rated it really liked it
An insightful book about the importance of networking and creating human connections. The author says what others either don’t or wont say “you gotta do this for the right reasons snd to help other people… then you get rewarded. And you might have to help others FIRST for a LONG time before you get paid back for your generosity.”

This book is basically my style so it’s fairly intuitive. However if wish I’d come up with some of these ideas in my 20s as I would be further ahead today. Anyone of any
Oct 20, 2021 rated it liked it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Jul 12, 2021 rated it it was amazing
Jon Levy takes a practical, relatable and science-based approach in this important book about the science of human connection. He has honed in on key insights that are so relevant today, both during the pandemic and beyond, and offers examples that make these points understandable and actionable -- without being too prescriptive.

This book has already proven useful to me in my own life and career, with insights that have changed the way I've approached networking and community for the better. I'
May 15, 2021 rated it it was amazing
This is a useful book. It's about increasing your influence to help you make friends. What I like is that it's a lot more useful than Dale Carnegie's 'How to Make Friends and Influence People' which simply tells you that the secret is to be interested in the other person. This book gives you a much bigger bag of tricks from science that you can use to put people at their ease and create contexts where friendship is more likely to develop.

What I especially appreciated as an introvert is that it'
Jun 13, 2021 rated it really liked it
This was not recycled content (as so many of these kinds of books are) - I appreciate that.
spotlight and halo effects

"With an excuse of competence - whether it's true or not - most people will be forgiving and move on."

"Specifically what people want [from the heads of their industry] falls into five categories I call their STEAM: Status, Time, Expertise, Access, and Money."

"Great design can be just as much about eliminating distractions and unnecessary elements ...as it is about adding fun or us
Laura Smith
Apr 26, 2022 rated it did not like it
I’m so glad to finally be finished with this book. It was SO hard to read because I disliked his writing so much. He’s incredibly pretentious and really thinks very highly of himself. I can’t tell you how many times I rolled my eyes reading this book. How often he “was asked by one of the biggest companies in the world” to plan an event. There were much more subtle and humble ways to say the same thing but this man just loves to toot his own horn. Big fat thumbs down.

The only mildly redeeming qu
Chad Manske
Jan 01, 2022 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Behavioral scientist Jon Levy pens an influential book on community and connections based on his own personal experiences complemented by research. It answers questions like, how do you build trust quickly, how do you garner advantage for your nonprofit or charitable cause and how do you sustain such connections for the long haul. He often uses the analogy of an elephant and the rider to describe how these connections are best made when they meet the target group/population where they are and wh ...more
Lady Magic
Jun 19, 2021 rated it it was amazing
I found Jon Levy’s latest book interesting, readable, and inspiring. I breezed through it one summer Friday night. Jon is a behavioral scientist and founder of The Influencers Dinner, a secret dining experience for industry and global influencers, as well as consultant to companies ranging from startups to Fortune 500. This book focuses on *the power of an invitation*, and how to create meaningful connections and build trust to foster lasting relationships. He pulls from varied examples as well ...more
Josh Katz
Jul 09, 2021 rated it it was amazing
Jon Levy is a master of community building and this highly entertaining read is further proof. This is part pop psychology, full of fascinating case studies, part actionable guideline for building your own communities. He's careful to cover all the bases, so whether you're creating creating events for a huge company or a tiny social circle, you'll finish this book inspired. ...more
Aug 09, 2021 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
A compact and digestible read about how to make meaningful connections. Levy spends time on ideas surrounding benevolence, authenticity and community. The book encourages readers to be introspective – spend time discovering what you like and who you want to be. Relationships and experiences are far more rewarding when approached authentically.
Aug 30, 2021 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
A lot of the ideas in this book are way out of my comfort zone! What I found most helpful were the ideas around how to build community. I was glad to see that some of his recommendations are things that I've stumbled onto on my own with my team. I've also gleaned some good ideas to help plan future events for other audiences. ...more
Jan 20, 2022 rated it really liked it
This is a solid 3.5 rounding up to 4. There was some really good quality content in here on connecting with other people. I liked some of the very unique ideas the author implemented. There were spaces I zoned out a little which meant some of it could have been a little shorter but overall a good book!
Gayle Turner
Jan 28, 2022 rated it it was amazing
The minute I finished this book, I went back to page one and started reading it all over again. I'm inviting you find a copy and change your life. This is a "how to" for building and strengthening the communities in your life. I wish I had a way to give it 10 Stars. I want to thank Charles George for turning me onto the book and I look forward to hearing your thanks when you've read it. ...more
Dejan Simic
Feb 13, 2022 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Brilliant ideas!

Jon Levy is an inspirational author, and You"re Invited is a very good book that every reader can find insightful and interesting.
Personally I didn't like the style and the flow of the book, in the other hand many tips are very educational and useful to test in real life in order to create the community that you you are dreaming of!
Feb 28, 2022 rated it it was ok
This book is more art than science, not so deftly connecting its premise to many contemporary popular theories, resulting in a loosely woven assemblage of narratives that are primarily from the white male vantage point. The book contains a few gems that don't require book-length exposition to grasp. Meh. ...more
Robin Shilling
Jan 11, 2022 rated it liked it
Interesting subject matter, though also boring — the author is very statistical which understood in this type of book but just makes my mind wander. Overall, it’s a lot I already knew about cultivating community, but some really interesting examples.
Nicholas Sonnenberg
May 15, 2021 rated it it was amazing
Best book of 2021
Tom Mobley
Jun 16, 2021 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: business
A lot of good ideas on ways to build your network and organizational culture.

Already applying what I have learned.
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