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Reforming Marriage

4.18  ·  Rating details ·  1,403 ratings  ·  141 reviews
Reforming Marriage does what few books on marriage do today: it provides biblical advice. Douglas Wilson points to the need for obedient hearts on the part of both husbands and wives. Godly marriages proceed from obedient hearts, and the greatest desire of an obedient heart is the glory of God. "You'll never be able to think of marriage in the same way again." -J.K. Walker ...more
Paperback, 148 pages
Published February 1st 1995 by Canon Press
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Camille K.
Mar 18, 2009 rated it liked it
Meh. I really don't understand the rave reviews. It's okay. It's not as horrible as the stuff that comes out of CBMW, but he doesn't go far enough with the notion of Covenant marriage, imo.

I'm willing to accept and assert the notion of "male headship," but most of the authors that insist upon the idea are stuck in an earlier decade. Wilson is stuck in an earlier century. He makes the man/husband/father the center of the home, not Christ, and as a result he offers a very egocentric ethic on marri
Josiah Richardson
Dec 03, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: marriage
This book gets a really bad rep. Whenever I talk to people about Wilson, many of them point to his views on marriage as their knife to the jugular of the argument against him. This is supposed to be what makes him vilified.

I didn't see any of that in this book.

At. All.

I'm not a Wilson apologist. He and I have several key disagreements. But when he's right, he's right.

In fact, this is one of the most practical and important books I've read on marriage -- ever. It's really easy to write a book on
Hollie D
Feb 12, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Excellent. Wish I read this years ago.
Jul 22, 2011 added it
This book is a breath of fresh air. One of Doug Wilson's gift is the ability that God has given him to craft his writing in a witty and interesting way. Combine that with the biblical principles Wilson presents, the book proves to be an edifying read, one that is hard to put down. Though it is short in length, it is pack not only with biblical insight but also God-given wisdom of a married couple who has been there, and APPLIED that. A highlight in the book is the theme of the biblical role of h ...more
Korey Daniel
Dec 30, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Wow, it's going to take me a while to recover from that read. This book is convicting, stuffed full of wisdom, and has changed so much of my thinking. Praying God grants me the heart change to apply it!
Oct 10, 2018 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: marriage
Important theological take on marriage. Considers all that the Bible says about marriage and men and women, with a straight face. Read it with a group of guys and it generated much discussion and strong feelings.
Kofi Opoku
Sep 10, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Lots of good stuff in here.
Sep 22, 2011 rated it it was ok
"Reforming Marriage" as in Reformed Theology, which I don't adhere to. The author has made some excellent points in the first few chapters, but overall I find him very harsh on the male sex. Probably because he feels at liberty to give it straight to other men because he is one himself. That's how his (rather overt) tone comes across to me. I've been reading this with my husband and it only leaves him feeling downtrodden. I am left feeling embarrassed. It's definitely not good for bedtime readin ...more
Eric Sauder
Jan 07, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Re-read this with my wife...still great.
Alaíde Monteiro
Livro fantástico, de conselhos primordiais para um relacionamento que glorifica a Deus.
Sep 06, 2017 rated it really liked it
Considering the author's LOVELY public persona... this book is solidly more good than bad. Decent starting points and a less common "root cause" of relationship troubles.
Kara Kirby
Mar 11, 2013 rated it it was ok
I do not care for Wilson's style. He does not reach out to the struggling in a way that gives hope, nor does he leave room for intelligent disagreement on secondary issues. He excels in firing up the Reformed base, has a good hold on part of the truth (mutually sacrificial love under Christ), but lacks in presenting the beauty, poetry, mystery, absurdity, and joy of marriage. Or in the words of my husband, "He's got logic, but he ain't got no telos." There is a focus on specific roles, but witho ...more
Feb 05, 2012 rated it really liked it
No I'm not married and yes this book was tremendously helpful.

Some chapters were great wisdom on handling any relationship; some chapters were excellent theological clarification; and some chapters were helpful to help pave direction as a single man.

All in all, great book. I'm finding more and more how much I love and appreciate Wilson's style, and I'm even beginning to think that if he wrote a book on shoveling snow, this snowless Texan would probably read it. I look forward to more.
Zak Fixler
Aug 14, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Very helpful book on marriage from a Biblical perspective. Wilson is wonderful at taking deep theology and demonstrating how it practically works itself out. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone married, or considering marriage. My wife and I have both benefited from reading/rereading particular sections, and I keep this book handy for reference.
Apr 01, 2014 rated it really liked it
Not a typical marriage book. It is hard-hitting, unapologetic and contains conclusions that will upset many contemporary views on marriage. While I didn't agree with Doug on all of his viewpoints, nevertheless the book was a refreshing overview of a far more Biblical view of marriage.
Jun 14, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Best work on marriage I've ever read. It is short and to the point. It enforces the biblical idea without apology or adaptation.
Mar 21, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Great book! Definitely a different perspective on marriage than the world's view, but it's the Biblical view. I highly recommend reading before marriage.
Peter N.
Mar 18, 2009 rated it it was amazing
The best basic book on marriage I have read.
Linda S
Love it! Need to read it AGAIN!
Vincent Stewart
Apr 23, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Reading this book has helped me greatly in seeing what it means to be a Godly husband. Great insight! Lots of nuggets to chew on and apply. Definitely, one I will be rereading and gleaning wisdom off continually over the years.

The last paragraph of the book has a good creed for husbands to aspire to for the reformation of our families. Douglas called it a renewal of "basic covenantal commitments."I read and reread this last paragraph. It may be basic but it is profound. I come from a broken home
Noah Nevils
Jun 04, 2017 rated it really liked it
What I actually read was "Empires of Dirt" by Wilson, but Goodreads does not have that one apparently. Fun prose, as I have come to expect from Wilson, and very percipient.
The 'Radical Islam' from the subtitle doesn't make much of an appearance, but the book boasts a pretty thorough treatment of secularism and American civic religion. Highly recommended to everyone who wants to know Wilson's desires for America (and every nation ultimately) as distinct from what you might assume his desires to b
Aug 20, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Everyone should read

It seems like the best books have the worst covers, and this book is no exception to the rule. A great and quick read, overflowing with both scripture and practical help. Felt incredibly convicted, had my Bible app open and prayed through this while reading, and plan on rereading this in the years to come. A worthwhile book to have on hand, helpful for men and women.
Morgana Mendonça
Excelente! Formidável! Um livro que trata com maestria sobre a perspectiva bíblica do casamento. Recomendo muito, aos noivos!
John Weis
Oct 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Excellent. Worth re-reading a few times.
Stephen Scholtz
Jul 12, 2018 rated it liked it
Some helpful perspectives and convicting truths. However, much seems speculative rather than researched, and the implications drawn from certain texts seem a bit of a stretch.
Steve Gentry
Jul 29, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This is the most helpful book on marriage I have ever read.
Thiago McHertt
Excelente! Confrontador e prático.
Anthony Locke
May 16, 2018 rated it really liked it
Clear, incisive, and (of course) somewhat controversial. This is a helpful and short book on marriage.
James Lynch
Aug 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing
One of the best books on marriage I have read. Biblical, well-written, practical. As always Wilson does a great job incorporating church history, pastoral experience, and Christian wisdom.
Bambi Moore
Nov 05, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: home-and-family
Read this in 2007 and it was even better this time around.
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I write in order to make the little voices in my head go away. Thus far it hasn't worked.
“God picks us up where we are, not where we should have been” 17 likes
“Once young girls used to play with baby dolls, seeing themselves in the role of the nurturing mother; now they can be seen playing with Barbie dolls, seeing themselves in the place of the doll. And of course, the doll is both pretty and stacked. The pressure is on and stays on.” 3 likes
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