An inspiring story about affirming a sibling's gender identity.
Evan loves being big brother to Sam and Finn. They do everything together―go fishing, climb trees, and play astronauts. But lately, Evan notices that he and Sam don't look like brothers anymore. Sam wants to have long hair, and even asks to wear a dress on the first day of school. As time goes by, Evan comes to understand why Sam wants to look like a girl―because Sam is a girl. Sam is transgender. And just like always, Sam loves to dream with Evan and Finn about going to the moon together. Based on one family's real-life experiences, this heartwarming story of a girl named Sam and the brothers who love and support her will resonate with readers everywhere.
Ashley Rhodes-Courter is the quintessential American success story. Born in 1985 to a single teen mother, by the age of 3 she was in Florida’s foster care system where she spent almost ten years being shuttled between 14 homes—some quite abusive—before being adopted from a Children’s Home at the age of twelve. Early in her life she felt compelled to advocate for herself and the other children she lived with, particularly in the abusive foster homes.
On June 1, 2003, the New York Times Magazine published her grand prize winning essay about her adoption day. She expanded her essay into a memoir, Three Little Words, which was published by Simon & Schuster in January 2008 and quickly became a New York Times bestseller. Her memoir is currently being made into a major motion picture. The book has been adopted by schools and communities as part of One School, One Book initiatives across the country.
This is a very gentle book about how knowing that you were assigned a gender at birth does not make it what you feel like, just as trying to draw with your non-dominent hand does not make it right.
In this story, a gender-assigned-boy realizes that she is really a girl, inside, and wants to wear dresses, and bows. The mother in this story, which is actually the author of this book, as this is the story of three of her kids, decides to let her daughter be whom she wants to be. And sees what a difference it makes in her mood.
She wrote in the afterward that the way her daughter realized she was transgender was when she read a book about another little girl who realized the same thing. That is why she wrote the book, to help other children who were assigned the wrong gender at birth.
Written in very simple terms, and from the kids point of view. And the kids all adjust, because, Sam still like playing make believe, and dreaming about going to the moon.
Representation is important, and picture books that deal with transgender issues are far and few between.
Thanks to Edelweiss for making this book available for an honest review.
My 8 year old son really enjoyed this gentle book from the perspective of the cisgender brother of a transgender girl. While many other picture books that address gender diverse characters leave it to adult readers to explain situations to children, Sam is My Sister clearly and kindly explains what it means for a child to be transgender, and it realistically follows Evan's understanding of his sister's transition, including the fact that the essence of her personhood does not change when her gender expression does. She is still a space-loving, adventurous, loving sibling.
The back matter includes an author's note that explains that the story is based on her own children (with names changed) with their consent and that all 3 siblings participated in the writing of the story.
Trans representation is needed in picture books, and this one, told by the parent of a trans girl about their own family, has strong parental support for the child's recognition of their own identity. Although it highlights gendered stereotypes of who wears what and the interests they have, that is the reality of what kids the age of the characters and audience tend to think/learn. The scene with the parents explaining to the siblings what is happening is well done as a tool to help the intended audience also learn about what transgender means.
Sam in My Sister is a picture book about Sam, who wants to dress and act in more girl-aligned ways. The family learns that Sam is transgender and helps her socially transition while continuing to learn more about the Transgender community.
This is such a cute and beautiful story! I loved the acceptance from Sam’s family and the growth they all experienced. While many children do not understand, I think this is an amazing story to teach little ones about accepting others and learning about all kinds of humans! I also loved the illustrations and can’t wait to share this with my kids one day!
I thought this book explained trans children so beautifully. Written by a mother about one of her children, it seems like a trusted perspective. I recently read the adult novel This Is How it Always Is and I thought this picture book was a perfect pairing for my children. Highly recommend!
It was a little clunky/heavy-handed as a story but full of excellent information and validation of the experience of a transgender child as well as their sibling.
Beautiful book! This is a great way to help kids understand when they see someone transition into the sex they feel to be on the inside. I love the example of coloring in the other hand and how awkward it feels. It is a great way to explain to kids that trying to be something your not being feel right and is hard to do.
I would highly recommend it to any one who is looking to explain to their kids or even adults. :)
As always, I defer to the community and those whose identity is represented.
Sam is a trans girl. She’s always known it. Heavy on explaining her transition, but one of several recent picture books representing the trans experience, its joy and challenges. Good to see supportive parents who relied on doctors and experts to teach them about the trans experience, and siblings who ask questions and accept her for who she is. Important to discuss other issues at play, specifically gendered objects/interests, to parse out the nuances of correlation vs causation. In other words, a child is not trans girl because they like sparkles, princesses, dresses, and long hair with ribbons. They are trans because that is who they are and anyone can like things typically assigned male or female. Based on the author’s own children, one of whom is a trans girl.
I'm so glad to see books for trans kids and their families. There are so many hateful bigots who think that trans kids don't have the right to exist and should "wait" until they're adults.
Content warnings are listed at the end of my review!
Sam Is My Sister is based on author Ashley Rhodes-Courter's three children, two boys and one transgender girl as she comes to understand her gender and the changes that come with it. Our story is narrated by Evan, Sam's brother, as he asks questions and slowly learns about Sam's gender with the help of his family.
There's really not any strong efforts to show how transphobia and bullying isn't a good thing, there's just short affirmations for Sam after something upsetting is said to her. There's a lot of language like "Why do you want to dress all wrong?" and "No, that's just a boy in a dress.", at least the latter is described as mean. In one scene when the class splits into groups of boys and girls, Sam is advised to just stand with the teacher. This can seem like a sweet sentiment, but this kind of othering has led to massive issues in the wellbeing of transgender students. It also says "Sam identifies as a girl." when the correct language is "Sam is a girl." or "Sam is a transgender girl." If this was an older book, I might cut it more slack, but for a 2021 release this language is outdated and incorrect.
Summary: Readability: ★☆☆☆☆, It's a clunky read, especially considering Sam's actions are constantly questioned by her brother Evan, it gets really exhausting. The parents will chip in anecdotally to explain that what Sam is doing is ok, but there's not an extended conversation offered to Evan until much later on- either signaling lazy writing, lazy parenting, or both. Evan ends up being incredibly supportive once that conversation is had just showing that kids are able to learn, adapt, and love, so it would have been beneficial to have that conversation sooner rather than so late.
Entertainment: ★☆☆☆☆, The art really wasn't for me, it looked like clip art, very stagnant and emotionless. The story was very dry and sloppily handled so it wasn't very enjoyable.
Audience: I wouldn't really recommend this to anyone besides writers looking to write books for trans youth as a guideline on what not to do. If you'd like a story about a brother supporting his trans sister, My Sister, Daisy did a much better job.
I absolutely loved this story-even more so when I read that it is the author’s own personal story of her family. The story begins with three brothers, Evan, Sam and Finn playing in the woods by a stream. They all love to fish, play by the river, and “blast” to the moon in their cardboard rocketship. One day, a trip to the public library changes things for the family. While Evan and Finn are getting books about space, Sam wants a book with a princess on the cover. After that, it is time to get school haircuts, but Sam does not want short hair. This continues to the first day of school where Sam wants to wear clothes more traditional for girls and a bow in his hair. As time passes, the family learns that Sam identifies as being a girl and is transgender. This revelation involves some family discussions and a few issues at school. A once non-accepting older brother now becomes Sam’s biggest supporter, especially in dealing with some of the mean kids at school. The story ends with the two brothers, and one sister, deciding that they are still people no matter their gender and they will always be there for each other.
What I really loved about this book was the support that was shown by the parents and teacher for Sam. The parents allowed Sam to express herself and the reader could see Sam getting happier each time this happened. The story did show how other children will be less understanding and I think this is important as well because this is reality. I especially loved a part in the story where Evan and Sam were drawing some pictures and Sam asked Evan to try drawing with his other hand. When Evan did this, he said that it did not feel right and he switched back to his other hand. Sam told Evan that this is how she feels-being a boy just does not feel right to her. I thought that was a great way to explain that to young children. There is also some additional information in the back of the book about the author’s personal experience which prompted the writing of this book.
Evan, Sam, and Finn play together all the time and love to pretend they are astronauts headed to the moon. Evan notices at the library that Sam wants a book with a princess. When Evan asks about it the response of the mother is that books are for everyone, which everyone accepts readily. When school is about to begin and they go for haircuts, Sam insists on keeping it long. The parents handle this in stride and Evan stands up for Sam at school where classmates were less open to Sam's choices. All in all, this family and the school manage to handle the wishes of a young child with acceptance, kindness, and the willingness to adapt for Sam.
I am grateful that the author included the note about her reasons for this story. I see as a teacher that there are more changes happening around us every year to accept the needs of our young students and find ways to help them feel a part of our community. If a child voices that they are transgender, this is an important book to have around to help others understand. With any luck, sharing kindness will be the end result of any situation like the one in this story.
"Why do you want to look like a girl?" Evan asked one day. "Because I am a girl," Sam said. "On the inside." Sam drew a heart with a sparkly crayon. "I don't get it," Evan replied. He picked up a crayon and drew a moon next to Sam's heart. "So, how do you know which hand to use when you colour?" Sam asked. Evan stopped drawing for a moment. "I don't know. Drawing with my other hand doesn't feel right." "Well, being a boy doesn't feel right to me," Sam explained. "It's just who I am." Evan tried to draw a star with his other hand and got frustrated. "This is weird. I'm glad no one makes me do this all the time," Evan said.
The above analogy brought me to tears and is just oh-so-perfect.
In the author's note, Ashley mentions that "one day, when we read aloud a wonderful book about a young transgender girl, Sam's face lit up. 'Mommy, that's ME! I'm transgender!' This was a breakthrough moment." My only complaint is that there is no mention of this other powerful title.
I know a lot of bookstagramers don't like to review kid's books but I'm not like that! I LOVE kid's books and not just because I'm an aunt of 3 awesome kids. This is one of those great kid's books! When I first got a message from @samismysister I didn't think it was real (spam happens too often) but it was. Then I got an email with the PDF for this amazingly adorable book. I was so excited on Friday night but I had to wait until today due to weekend plans. Totally worth the wait! The story itself is perfectly written for kids and families ; you can tell that Sam is loved and that these parents are doing everything they can to help their kid. The brothers are so sweet and even though they're a bit confused in the beginning ; they adjust so well. This is a perfect example for siblings of transgender kids as well as the parents. The artwork is amazing as well. I highly recommend checking this book out ; it'll be published on March 31st!
Sam Is My Sister documents a young Sam finding their true self as a transgender girl. With grace and authenticity, it tells this story in simple terms that are easy for young children to grasp. I really appreciated how siblings Finn and Evan are allowed to air their concerns and questions, and the parents encourage an open and loving dialogue about the changes. Though there are moments of tension when Sam is at school, Sam's siblings and the teachers create a network of support to keep them safe. More than anything this is a lovely story not only of embracing one's true self, but showing how happy and whole Sam becomes when she is able to be a girl like she feels. Backmatter includes a lengthy authors note revealing that Sam's story is based off her own transgender child's experiences. It also includes resources for readers seeking support for their transgendered child and family. I highly recommend this book.
Sam's family is confused when one of their children realizes that she's really a girl. The parents are supportive as they take small steps to understand what is going on. The brothers, though, have a harder time conceptualizing the changes. Everybody's voice rings true and the illustrations convey complex feelings including the negative comments of schoolyard friends. This is a welcome introduction to a transgender child for all families, not just one like Sam's. This sweet picture book is a glimpse into how differences and changes might be handled without being preachy or strident--but with lots of understanding and love.
It's not that there's anything WRONG with this book per se. I don't think it hurts anybody to read another book validating cis people who are just trying their best. I personally didn't need it, and I think a lot of trans kids who are already dealing with this shit in real life probably don't need it. But if it helps a cis sibling process their feelings without taking them out on their trans sibling, okay, I'm in favor of that.
If you're a cis parent considering this book, please make sure you're including books that are actually written by trans people and center the trans kids in the story.
This cute picture book, based on a family’s lived experience, is a great way to introduce young readers to gender identity and more importantly—KINDNESS. I like a couple of phrases in particular: where the parents talk to Sam’s teachers, doctors and experts before proceeding with letting Sam be herself AND the phrase, “you are in charge of who you are and how you feel.”
I read and reviewed this book because people are trying to ban it from a nearby library. There are people who want to be in charge of what others do with their own bodies and what everyone else should feel about that. Not on my watch!
First, I want to thank Ashley Rhodes-Courter and MacKenzie Haley for providing me with this book so I may bring you this review.
Sam Is My Sister by Ashley Rhodes-Courter is a very well written book that is based upon Ashley’s real life experiences. Ashley’s children book is a heartwarming book that brings awareness to being transgender.
Mackenzie’s beautiful illustrations make Ashley’s story pop.
There are many life lessons that can be learned by reading this book.
Ashley’s author notes gives you an inside look of her family and their experience.
Evan, Sam, and Finn love playing together, but Evan (and Finn) start to notice that Sam likes princess books, having longer hair, and wearing pink and dresses. The author does a good job avoiding gendering Sam, which respects her identity. I also really like the kid-friendly example of kids knowing what gender they are is similar to knowing which hand to use for coloring. While a little didactic, this book shows a child identifying as transgender and how siblings would react over time during the child's transition, and I haven't seen that before.
A story inspired by the author's family. An honest, tender, and loving story about Sam, who was assigned male at birth, but Sam wants long hair and dresses. At first, Sam's brother, Evan, does not understand, but because of the parents' unconditional love and honest conversation about what transgender means, Evan knows he wants Sam to be her true self. If only all families and people were so accepting! Loved the author's note at the end. This is the perfect book to have in classrooms.
Transgender girl tell her parents and brothers she is a girl. Includes how parents saw doctors/specialists and how Sam gets bullied but ultimately brothers see how much happier she is as a girl. Good authors note explaining that they themselves have a transgender daughter who gave them permission to share her story "consistent, insistent, and persistent display of wanting traditional girl things."
A must have for your library collection. I appreciate the child's voice within the story explaining her feelings (even if they seemed adult at times) they were explanations that give understanding to new perspectives for some readers. Also a great example of supportive adults and parents and siblings. There were some gendered stereotypes (boys in one line, girls in another) shown at the sake of explaining that not all children fit into those stereotypical expectations.
In this book Sam transitions from being a brother to sister in her family of 5.
From Author's Note at the end, "This book is based on true experiences. Sam, Evan, and Fin (whose names have been changed) are my three children. They consented to sharing our story and were an integral part of the writing process...May this book be a beacon of hope and light, and a testament to the power of unconditional love."
Sam knows she's a girl, even if that's not what everyone thought when she was born. Her brothers struggle to understand what it means when the kid they thought was their brother wants long beautiful hair and princess toys, but they decide to love her anyway.
This is a simple but powerful story that highlights the importance of support and understanding for kids who are learning how to tell people who they really are.
This is a sweet story based upon a real child's experience. It provides a needed resource for children who may feel as Sam does, or have siblings or classmates who are transgender. The loving and supportive parents in this book also serve as a model for adults.
Veg*n families note: Fishing is referenced as one of the activities that Sam enjoys doing as a boy and later as a girl, explaining that girls can like to fish, too.
Tenderly written story of siblings learning to see their middle sibling for the person she is. The story starts with the three brothers playing and enjoying time together in various activities. Then readers see Sam start to share who she is inside. We see how the family grows and learns and figures outt how their family will evolve. There is an Author's Note at the end sharing the real life blending that inspired this book.
Sam's older brother Evan struggles with Sam establishing her gender identity as a girl.
Sam keeps her name, which makes things easier for everyone. The focus is on Evan and his perceived loss of a companion who will do things his brother would do. The parents reassure him that those things can still happen, and that Sam is still the same person. Evan eventually sticks up for her on the playground. Matter of fact, good parental support. WE DON'T OWN THIS
Evan struggles to understand why his brother Sam likes wearing dresses and reading about princesses. Rhodes-Courter creates a beautiful true story based on her own children. A great read for families who have a young child who is questioning their gender identity, especially those with siblings who might not understand at first. Highly recommend.