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A Love Story #1

Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story

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In a surreal comic novel, Tommy Flood arrives in San Francisco dreaming of becoming the next literary wonder and ends up employed in the local supermarket, where he is pursued by a beautiful vampire. Reprint.

304 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 1995

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About the author

Christopher Moore

78 books89.9k followers
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Christopher Moore is an American writer of absurdist fiction. He grew up in Mansfield, OH, and attended Ohio State University and Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara, CA.

Moore's novels typically involve conflicted everyman characters suddenly struggling through supernatural or extraordinary circumstances. Inheriting a humanism from his love of John Steinbeck and a sense of the absurd from Kurt Vonnegut, Moore is a best-selling author with major cult status.

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5 stars
19,437 (30%)
4 stars
25,409 (40%)
3 stars
14,796 (23%)
2 stars
2,873 (4%)
1 star
924 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,797 reviews
Profile Image for Patrick.
Author 89 books232k followers
April 6, 2013
Okay, let's cut right to the chase here.

I discovered Christopher Moore him about two years ago, and since then I'm pretty sure I've either read (or listened to) everything he's written.

I really enjoy his books. They're tightly written, clever, and funny, funny, funny....

How much do I like his writing? Let me put it this way:

Let's say I met Christopher Moore at a convention and instead of being the charming gent I know him to be, he turned out to be a total asshole. A real tunk.

Let's say he was such a ass than when I asked him to sign a book, instead he just hauled off and kicked me in my privatest of personal places.

Despite this, I would still buy his next book in hardcover.

Let's say I ran into him later on in the food court. And there, beside the Taco Bell, he kicked me in the nuts again.

In that case, I would still buy his book, but I would wait until it came out in paperback.

If later on in the parking ramp he jumped out from behind a van and caught me a third time...

Well.... Then I wouldn't buy his book. But I would still check it out from the library and read it.

I would like to propose this as a new rating system for books. It really has none of the ambiguity of the "what's the difference between three and four stars?"

Think about it, when a friend recommends a book to you, they say things like, "It's great!" or "You'll love it!" But that's just so much hot air, really.

Next time someone recommends a book to you, ask them, "Would you still love this book if the author kicked you in the nuts?"

If they say, "Yes" you know that book must be something special.
Profile Image for Mario the lone bookwolf.
793 reviews3,607 followers
October 26, 2020
Imagine Dracula as a female and watch how the reverse vampire fun works in a humoristic setting.

Moore is ingenious at choosing new character constellations to make fun of stereotypical archetypes of fictional and real events and persons, letting the protagonists plotlines, the outer world, and many running gags collide to always satisfying reads with superficial, but certain laughs.

He doesn´t, or just with Lamb, reaches the level of Robbins, Sharpe, and Ruff, because his intent is to write understandable and entertaining, not extremely difficult, milelong sentences, philosophical meta criticism, postmodernism destruction of everything that was once holy, etc., but just a funny, short, ride.

I do, subjectively, especially liked the Bloodsucking friends A love story series, because it had some great moments and comes with unexpected plot twists, while I subjectively didn´t enjoy the Pine Cove novels that much. They are of the same quality, maybe a tiny bit beyond the vampire fun, also subjectively, feel a bit constructed, and I couldn´t as easily slip into the characters, but this might be different for other readers, because Moore produces mostly solid works.

Not to talk of coming close to Pratchett, nobody does, and Moore is always mostly in the real world with some fantastic elements spread over the story, but not vice versa. He also doesn´t really care about giving it a deeper level, going meta, criticizing politics, faith, economics, etc. in detail, he is just wanting to create character driven, funny, quick, and easy reads.

The only problem with this is that they are not all that good and that some of them seem to just have been written to get the next thing published. That´s especially conspicuous, and I wouldn´t make that claim with an author who is always producing good, average works, because he had the hits A Dirty job and the mentioned Lamb, he must have put pretty much effort in creating, because they are marvelous.

However, for a quick in between, the better rated of Moore´s works are always a quick and entertaining pick between bigger reading endeavors and especially the creative reinventing and reinterpretation of classical narrative models, styles, and tropes are something he is so big at that other authors should consider putting the old stuff in fresh, never seen novels as series too.

Tropes show how literature is conceptualized and created and which mixture of elements makes works and genres unique:
Profile Image for Jeffrey Keeten.
Author 3 books248k followers
June 7, 2012

C. Thomas Flood lands in the city by the Bay, fresh from the farming fields of Indiana, determined to write a great American novel. He rents a cot from a Chinese entrepreneur named Wong and finds himself living with five other Chinese gentlemen all named Wong as well. The Wongs are excited because they have recently learned that it is legal for two men to marry in San Francisco. Thomas has something they really, really lust for...American citizenship. Needless to say living with five men who look on you as the golden prize becomes a little uncomfortable.

Marry me Tommy...no marry me...no me.

Thomas's fortunes seem to be on the rise when he lands a job on the graveyard shift of the local Safeway. He quickly becomes proficient at the sport being perfected by graveyard shifts at supermarkets all over America...frozen turkey bowling.


Thomas has been horny so long he has forgotten he's horny. He is 19 and almost a virgin. He has been assured on two different occasions that he did have sex, but both times he was too drunk to remember. When he meets Jody and she seems to find him totally irresistible he can not believe his luck.

Vampire Vixen Jody

She is gorgeous and she wants to have sex with him....a lot. His father must have never explained to him that if something is too good to be true it probably is. She is a vampire, which when she tells him is a little unsettling, but then she has more sex with him. Sure the biting is a little painful and weird, but she's having sex with him! Life, unfortunately, for Thomas can not all be about sex. Reality intrudes in a big way when the Vampire that turned Jody decides that Thomas must die.

The hi-jinks and ineptitude of the characters reminded me of the REAPER episodes. The book is garnished with a host of strange characters, pornographic Disney tattoos, attempted necrophilia, and Hiaasenesque humor. It is the first book of a trilogy followed by You Suck and Bite Me. If you are looking for something light, funny, and weird then this book will do nicely.
Profile Image for Luffy.
867 reviews719 followers
March 4, 2021
It took me years between the time I acquired this book and finished reading it. This was a walk in nostalgia lane. The story has aged with the grace of Gene Tierney, or Grace Kelly. It was of limited appeal.

But I did like the story. There was an intangible quality of essentiality about it. Probably the reason for that is that Christopher Moore was either inspired or toiled hard at the typewriter.

The ending was like Mowgli's Tiger! Tiger! story. Something was happening, the good guys win but one doesn't know how or why the helpers of the good guys were motivated.

This was not perfect. But only the climax had more ambition than sense.
Profile Image for Heidi The Reader.
1,376 reviews1,432 followers
May 26, 2018
Jody was attacked by a man who bit her neck and left her for dead in an alleyway. She woke up a vampire. What is she going to do now?

"(Jody) was twenty-six and pretty in a way that made men want to tuck her into flannel sheets and kiss her on the forehead before leaving the room; cute but not beautiful."

C. Thomas Flood wants to be an author, but where he comes from (Indiana) that's not an acceptable trade for a man. He flees to San Francisco to "starve in the city." After some misadventures with too many roommates and turkey bowling at the Safeway, he meets Jody and his life is never the same.

"Turkey bowing is not recognized by the NCAA or the Olympic Committee. There are no professional tournaments sponsored by the Poultry Farmers of America, and the footwear companies do not manufacture turkey bowling shoes. ... Despite this lack of official recognition, the fine and noble tradition of 'skidding the buzzard' is practiced nightly by supermarket night crews all over the nation."

Christopher Moore takes on the "vampire genre" and it's not his best effort. If you're going to read one of his books, I recommend Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal.

It's still ridiculous fictional literature, but I enjoyed the characters in Lamb more. In Blocksucking Fiends, everybody reads like one cliché after another.

"In another time she would have called a girlfriend and spent the evening on the phone being comforted. She would have eaten a half gallon of ice cream and stayed up all night thinking about what she was going to do with her life. .. But that was another time, when she had been a person."

And perhaps that was Moore's point. It was as if he was mocking the sub-genre of vampire novels by his one-dimensional characters and thin plot.

Or maybe it is just a sub-par effort.

I don't think I'll be picking up the other books in this series.
Profile Image for Trish.
1,921 reviews3,402 followers
February 26, 2023
I read this because I love Christopher Moore‘s humour and the series‘ title promised to be somewhat in the ballpark of V-day.

Right off the bat (excuse the pun), we meet Jody who is getting transformed from a relatively boring office worker in a bad relationship into a vampire. Now, she has to figure out how to live only during the night, ensure she won‘t get killed while being in a dead-like sleep during the day and still have enough energy (but not too much bloodlust) to have a conversation with her mother.
Help arrived in the form of Tommy. Tommy works in a supermarket but dreams of becoming a big name in the literary world. He‘s a bit hapless and naive, but generally not too bad a guy. Though serving a vampire puts his patience and resolve to the test.
Especially once it becomes clear that someone is out to possibly kill both him and Jody. But who is it? The vampire who turned Jody? The Emperor of San Francisco (oh yeah, he‘s a prominent figure here, I‘m happy to report)? Another, hitherto unknown?

I must admit that I chuckled quite a bit and even cackled once or twice in the first half of the book. Jody and Tommy finding their place (and not succeeding) was very funny. Sadly, the humour then took a backseat. However, I can‘t say I didn‘t enjoy the action we soon got as a replacement and I didn‘t see that ending coming.

Nicely done, though not as good as I had hoped, and entertaining enough to make me start the 2nd right away.
Profile Image for Melanie.
273 reviews132 followers
September 23, 2017
3 stars from me. Silly, funny, kinda gross vampire story. I liked it. It's an easy read. I may just seek out the next in the series to find out what happens to everyone. Just what I needed after the heavy and serious book I read right before this.
Profile Image for Maede.
274 reviews395 followers
February 5, 2020

باشه خودم می دونم که وسط این مریضی لامصب و این همه کتاب سنگین مثلا خواستم یک کتاب فان و سبک بخونم ولی نه دیگه شر و ور آخه

مغز من به طرز عجیبی و گاهی وقتا فیریکی توانایی کنار اومدن با فانتزی داره، بابا من اصلا هفده سالگیم جزو اولین گروه مترجمای
آنلاین توآیلایت بودم و باهاش زندگی کردم
(I KNOW! I was young)
یعنی به خون آشام ها و داستان هاشون، هر چقدر هم عج��ب زیادی عادت دارم. ولی آخه این دیگه چیه؟

یارو ومپایر اعظم هوس تولید مثل می کنه، دختره رو با وضعی که بیشتر شبیه تجاوزه تبدیل می کنه و بعدم با کلی پول ولش می کنه و از دور دنبالش می کنه
دختره اکیه ظاهرا، میره از دوست پسرش تغذیه می کنه و میگه اا من مانستر شدم ولی عیب نداره حالا کجا بمونم که آفتاب منو جزغاله نکنه؟ تازه لباس مناسبم ندارم

وات د فاک
قرار بود بامزه باشه که نیست
فانتزی باشه که نیست
خوندنش راحت باشه که نیست
بسکه احمقانه ست و کل زمانت صرف این میشه که این واقعا انقدر بد نوشته شده یا انقدر خوب و خفن نوشته شده که باید صبر کنم بفهمم
خب من صبرم تموم شد

این همه ستاره ی خوب به این کتاب دقیقا برای چی بوده؟

Profile Image for Krystin | TheF**kingTwist.
465 reviews1,729 followers
August 23, 2022
Book Blog | Bookstagram

This reminded me of the campy 80s vampire movies I loved as a kid. But, for me now in 2016, this novel was a mish-mash of cardboard stereotypes and dated - sometimes offensive - dad-joke quality humour.

The foggy California nights, the super cheesy evil vampire, the over-the-top cast of supporting characters and the ever-present dated theme of a teenager who relates everything in his life to his favourite movies/books and falling in love with the hot chick who thinks his "weirdness" is just too adorable for words, was eye-twitchingly cliché.

The main characters were nearly intolerable. Jody the Vampire was only slightly more likable compared to the pouting baby, Holden Caulfield wanna-be that was Tommy Flood. By the point in the book where he considered having sex with his vampire girlfriend while she was asleep, knowing she wouldn't wake up because vampire, was the end of any chance I'd grow to like him. Even if she's your girlfriend, fucking an unconscious person is still rape, boo. I don't care how goofy and innocent you try to make the main character's line of thought on the matter. Oh, Tommy just doesn't understand women hochachachacha...

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The only reason this isn't getting one star is that I found Moore's writing style really moved things along at an entertaining pace and there were a few moments featuring the Emperor and his dogs that I genuinely enjoyed.

My sister and my husband have been swearing up and down that I would love Christopher Moore. Maybe I should have started with something more popular, but I didn't and now I'm stuck wondering if I should even bother trying again.

⭐⭐ | 2 stars
Profile Image for Lyn.
1,867 reviews16.5k followers
January 28, 2015
Like all of Moore's novels I have read, this one is hilarious.

Could this be the first post-modern vampire book? Romanticism has been either thrown in the corner of the closet or all together defenestrated, this is nuts and bolts of how this immortal stuff works and mythbusting what doesn't.

Really, really fun.

Profile Image for Lance Greenfield.
Author 119 books234 followers
October 25, 2016
Christopher Moore has an amazing imagination. As I read Bloodsucking Fiends and, a while back, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, I kept asking myself, "Where do all his ideas come from?"

This story is both creative and funny. It is different to any other vampire story that you have read, or will ever read, unless somebody plagiarises Moore.

Tommy is the leader of a gang of oddball supermarket shelf-stackers. Jody is a novice vampire. The two of them form what one would normally consider to be an unlikely alliance. But, once I have told you that every event and character in this book is unlikely, you will reconsider.

Tommy and Jody set out on a mission to survive. Murders happen around them throughout their journey. A centuries-old vampire provides elements of tension and extreme danger. The San Francisco police. particarly two contrasting detectives, bungle their way into and through the adventure.

Each of the members of The Animals plays a part, and they are all great fun as well as, like most of the characters in this book, having their dark sides.

I can go no further without mentioning my favourite character in the whole book: The Emperor. This old man is the self-styled Emperor of San Francisco and Protector of Mexico. He is supported by "his men," who turn out to be two dogs equipped to do battle against the "vicious, murdering fiend who has been stalking his City." This guy is respected by everyone, and he becomes Tommy's best friend and ally.

I can't say too much more without spoiling it for you, except that you should watch out for the turtles.

Now you are asking yourself if I am crazy, but I kid you not. There are so many surprises in this book. Now that I have finished, I want to go back and read it all over again. It was that good!

The one negative comment that I would make, is that I don't see this as a love story. The two main characters make use of each other, and they do declare their love for each other, but there is no romance. Perhaps that will come in the next book in the series, You Suck.

Sadly, my to-read shelf is groaning and beckoning me to pick up the next, fresh volume to relieve some of the weight that she carries.

You really MUST make space in your life for Bloodsucking Fiends. Highly recommended.
Profile Image for Mercutio.
32 reviews16 followers
August 4, 2020
An excellent book to write a review saying you didn't like it where like 8 years later people are still coming into the comments to demand you say you're sorry for hating this stupid fucking dumb bland garbage book made for trash people.
Profile Image for Maiquel Costa.
Author 2 books182 followers
July 7, 2018
Terminada la relectura. Es un estilo que para mí es un referente. Cómico, surrealista, fresco y divertido. Quizás no sea un cinco estrellas pero se lo pongo por lo que significa para mí y por lo que me sorprendió en su momento. Y además a Jody y a Tommy se les coge cariño.
Profile Image for Kara Babcock.
1,920 reviews1,256 followers
August 3, 2015
Shall we start by agreeing that Christopher Moore is a literary comedic genius? I’ve had some good times with him. Both Fool and Sacré Bleu: A Comedy d’Art are amazing, laugh-out-loud funny. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal is hilarious and irreverent and the perfect gift to give your atheist or agnostic friends (or your theist friends, if they have the right sense of humour!). Everyone once in a while, though I hit on a Fluke ….

That’s the problem with comedy: it’s really tough, and even comedic geniuses don’t get it right all the time.

Bloodsucking Fiends has a lot going for it. I considered, for a while, giving this book one star—but I can’t do that, ultimately, because there was definitely a time where I was enjoying this book, maybe more than I should have. (For those who have read it: the scenes with the Emperor are all priceless, and the scene where the Safeway crew boards the vampire’s boat and start blowing shit up is high-octane of a calibre I was not expecting in a book like this.) In particular, if you were looking for a more humorous take on the whole “becoming a vampire” plot, then Moore has you covered here.


Jody and Thomas. I can’t even.

This is subtitled A Love Story, as are the sequels to this book (which I also have out from the library). The idea is that Jody, after becoming a vampire, looks for a man to cohabit with (and have sex with, if convenient) who can go out during the day, when she is asleep, and run errands. A sex-Renfield, if you will. (Oh God, now I’m envisioning all the Dracula/Renfield slash-fic I am not going to search for after finishing this review….)

Mr. C. Thomas Flood from Indiana has just moved to San Francisco to become the next Great American Writer. He hooks up with Jody by chance, sticks with her even after she confesses that she is a vampire, and quickly falls in love with her.

But I don’t really buy it, you know?

I can buy that Thomas thinks he’s in love with Jody, and that Jody feels co-dependent with Thomas. Moore paints Jody as the type of woman who feels that she “needs” a man, having lived with ten in the past five years. And I love that Moore doesn’t make this a head-over-heels, hit-by-Cupid’s-arrow type of romance—Jody and Thomas fight and argue and call each other names, and it’s all very realistic. (Except for the whole vampire thing, obviously.)

I find Jody’s characterization hugely problematic, though. There is nothing wrong, a priori, with portraying a woman who serially enters dysfunctional relationships. That’s all part of diverse portrayals of women in fiction. Unfortunately, that only works if you have diverse portrayals of women in your story (I think there are three named women characters in this book, and it only technically passes the Bechdel Test because Jody talks to her mom). And it only works if your characters are multi-dimensional.

I was hoping that, amid the standard Moore silliness of the plot, Bloodsucking Fiends would be a story about Jody’s personal growth. Moore starts off by showing us a woman who doesn’t have a lot going for her, who has a really bad day by being assaulted and transformed into a vampire, and who subsequently decides to make lemons out of lemonade. And on one level, this does actually happen. The ending of the story affirms Jody’s desire to embrace her newfound vampiric powers, to learn more about them, and to make the most of this life.

So I just wish Moore hadn’t ruined what might have been a great thing by falling back on clichéd jokes, like, “I could stand to lose five pounds.” We get it: women are obsessed with their weight! Hah-hah, very funny. I’ll pencil in a laugh sometime next week.

This sense of cliché looms ominously over most of the book. Jody is a walking cliché. Thomas’ situation—growing up in Indiana and being suspected of homosexuality because he has intellectual tendencies—is so cliché. It’s as if Moore assembled a checklist of the most overused tropes, then proceeded to work his way down the list—maybe alphabetically? Boy, those Asian people—aren’t they funny? And people who can’t read and hide it—hilarious! What about sales clerks—they sure are jerks, right? This might be comedy, but it is lazy comedy, thoughtless comedy—in other words, bad comedy.

I know Moore is capable of, well, more. You can’t write two novels parodying Shakespeare to the level that Moore has without actually reading and understanding Shakespeare. And while Moore’s portrayal of women doesn’t receive highest marks, I’ve seen him do better than how he does in Bloodsucking Fiends.

Oh, but the whole part where Thomas literally fridges Jody? Then does it again by bronzing her? That’s not funny, Moore, and it’s not endearing. It’s terrifying and sick, and it doesn’t show that Thomas “loves” Jody, just that he’s obsessed with her and willing to imprison her rather than let her go. We have names and prisons for those sorts of people.

I’m going to try the next book, because Moore has earned a lot of credit with me. But if Thomas pulls anything like that again, I’m out of here. I have better things to do with my time than watch an insecure guy try to stop his vampire ladyfriend from leaving her in progressively creepier and rapier ways.

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This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Lizz.
220 reviews52 followers
April 8, 2023
I don’t write reviews.

Phew! I am torn on this one. Moore is certainly clever and introduced an interesting variety of characters. Unfortunately, the two main characters, Tommy and Jody, were awful. While I didn’t dislike them entirely, they don’t have much to recommend them. Without going into Spoiler Town, I can say that they often made selfish and stupid choices.

Still I was drawn to the story. Maybe because of the homeless character, The Emperor (of San Francisco and Protector of Mexico) who roamed the streets giving out wise advice and making friends in all walks of life. It seems that this character was based on Joshua Abraham Norton, a 19th century resident of San Francisco who went broke and wandered around under his new title Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico. He too was beloved by many and when he collapsed on a street corner and subsequently died, 10,000 people came to pay their respects.

Note. Calling rifles “assault weapons” was evidently a talking point even in 1995. Why does that bother me so much? That’s a rhetorical question.
Profile Image for Brian.
688 reviews335 followers
January 23, 2016
This book is not your typical vampire fiction. Mr. Moore has written a novel whose protagonist happens to be a vampire, but the book is about much more than blood sucking! Unlike other vampire themed novels I have read this one attempts to take the supernatural seriously, and in making the outlandish characters and events of the text seem commonplace in Moore's version of San Francisco, the reader gets caught up in one heck of an engaging story!
"Bloodsucking Fiends" is the first novel in what is currently a trilogy, and was written over a decade before its sequel. I read it years ago, but just finished rereading it in order to read the trilogy straight through. Moore is up to his usual tricks in this text, and the cast of characters include such Moore favorites as Inspector Rivera and the Emperor of San Francisco. Moore does a nice job of alternating suspenseful cliffhanger chapters with chapters that fill in the exposition and other details that the reader needs in order to keep the plot plausible. The author also does a great job of bringing all of the separate sub plots together in a nice falling action that makes sense. Tying together sub plots in unexpected, and appropriate, ways seems to be a Moore specialty.
One of the treasures of this text is that despite the outlandish twists, characters, vulgarity, etc. Moore still makes serious points about our humanity and this is one of the novel's unexpected pleasures. One does not expect to be reading a chapter where vampires have crazy good sex, and then read an astute observation about love, or the nature of loneliness. Suddenly your mind reels with the profundity of the observation.
I love Moore's work because he proves that a book can be funny, outlandish, well written, and profound all at once. "Bloodsucking Fiends" is one of his better examples.
Profile Image for Cyndi.
2,338 reviews97 followers
July 8, 2017
Every summer my amazing library has a summer reading contest. One of the challenges is to read a book by an author who shares your initials. So I had an excuse to read a book by the hilarious Christopher Moore.
I love his books and this was no exception. A woman wakes up in an alley and discovers she's a vampire. She finds a hick from Nebraska who has moved to NY to become a writer. She needs a 'Renfield' to take care of daylight stuff and he needs to have his heart broken to help his writing. It's a match made in heaven, or in the alley behind Safeway Supermarket.
Excellent book, lots of fun!
Profile Image for L.
163 reviews3 followers
May 30, 2008
Sometimes it helps to read a series in order. In the case of Christopher Moore, though, it's not always necessary. I read "You Suck" first, and thoroughly enjoyed it, then went back and read its precursor, "Bloodsucking Fiends." While BF gave context for YS, each stands on its own as a very amusing quick read.

Jody is attacked walking home from work and wakes up the next evening disheveled, under a dumpster, with one burned hand, and with a load of cash in a paper bag. She returns to her apartment to be confronted by her live-in boyfriend and to find that her car has been impounded. Needing a place to live and someone to do her work by daylight, she finds C. Thomas Flood, a night manager at a grocery store, and makes him her minion. Not in a sinister way, but in a "I wonder what it would be like to be a vampire's minion?" way. Being an aspiring writer, Tommy researches vampirism extensively and tests Jody (with and without permission) to find out which aspects of vampirism in the literature are true (turning into a bat, true or false?) while also helping her find a place to live (loft in "fashionable SOMA", no windows in bedroom). Meanwhile, Jody learns to adapt to her new condition while trying to avoid being framed for murder by the vampire who created her.

Add some turkey-bowling grocery store clerks, SF police with a penchant for the dramatic, and a fixture of a SF homeless man (the Emperor, thankfully of SF and not Oakland) and you've got a few hours worth of good fun.
Profile Image for Tim.
2,131 reviews200 followers
February 5, 2013
Well developed characters, plot and humor. The first vampire read I’ve personally enjoyed. 9 of 10 stars
Profile Image for Nicholas Karpuk.
Author 4 books64 followers
April 26, 2012
I saw Christopher Moore give a talk at the Tattered Cover recently, and having only read Fluke, I didn't really grasp the nature of his audience. The crowd easily tripled the normal quantity of attendees for that sort of event. His talk resembled a odd sort of stand up comedy routine, and every joke exploded through the room from the uproarious laughter.

For me I'd say a joke hit home about 1 out of every 3 times. His humor is consistently rather broad, he has the demeanor of a elementary school class clown who watched a lot of comedy specials on television. There are exchanges like this:

...but I've lost a big part of my life. Like French fries. I miss eating French fries. I'm Irish, you know. Ever since the Great Potato Famine my people get nervous if they don't eat French fries every few days. Did you ever think about that?"

Oh ho. Irish people. I can almost feel someone elbowing me with an "eh? EH?" expression.

The main thing I can say is it never seemed particular mean or spiteful when he was clearly aiming for edgy. That's part of his staying power. Even with passages like this that seem to be trying to really go for broke:

"She'll rip out your throat and drink your blood as you die. Is that what you want?"          

Hair Plugs shook his head violently. "No, I already have an ex-wife."

I read that part an actually whispered, "Hochachachacha." Eesh.

The other part is the attempt at appearing to be an edgy outsider, sort of an Eddie Izzard type of effect. Izzard employs jokes involving things you should have learned in 6th grade history class, but people pat themselves on the back for understanding his references as they laugh. Many people I overheard at the Moore signing seemed very proud of themselves for being into such a different writer, despite the crowd attesting to it being kinda sorta maybe just a little mainstream.

But people thinking what they consume is a statement about who they are is probably a larger topic.

At any rate, the other part of his success really does come from the readability. The writing style is utterly basically, almost leaden, but he maintains an excitement about the premise that damned infectious. So despite the cheesy jokes and the broad stabs at irony (the big burly detective is gay?! FOR REALZ?! Crazy!) it still kept me reading. Hell, I might read another of his, that's how good his pacing is.

But god how I wish I could get an edition with a big chunk of the jokes redacted.
Profile Image for Rodrigo.
1,051 reviews407 followers
November 27, 2022
Bueno pues terminado, algo decepcionado, esperaba más toques de humor, he leído otros del autor y me reído más.
Aunque no descarto leer los otros que siguen, a ver si mejoran...
Valoración: 5/10.
Sinopsis: La vida de los vampiros es todo romanticismo y poesía... ¿o no? Cuando la joven Jody se despierta una mañana con parte del cuerpo quemado y una sed de sangre terrible, tiene que enfrentarse a todos los aspectos prácticos de su nueva condición: dónde dormir, cómo conseguir sangre fresca, cómo mantener el tipo ante su madre... No parece una empresa fácil para una chica que no ha visto una película de vampiros en su vida. Cuando Thomas, un escritor frustrado y dependiente a tiempo parcial, se cruza en su vida, Jody coge la oportunidad por el cuello... Literalmente. La sanguijuela de mi niña es el hilarante relato de cómo Thomas trata de vivir con la mujer a la que ama... aunque ella esté muerta.
Profile Image for Clara  Muñiz.
72 reviews7 followers
December 1, 2022
Un relato con un poco de humor absurdo, personajes comunes que deben hacer cosas extraordinarias y un recorrido de crecimiento de los protagonistas. Puede ser un buen combo pero se me hizo muy largo, por eso le resté estrellas. Tal vez la traducción al español le hizo perder gracia, vamos a quedarnos con eso.
Profile Image for Faye.
418 reviews45 followers
March 6, 2020
First read: 2006
Re-read: August 2015
The plot: a young woman named Jody is turned into a vampire by her would-be 'mugger' in the city of San Francisco. When she wakes she has to learn to deal with a lot of problems, including her new boyfriend Tommy, her mother coming to visit, and the fact that dead bodies are showing up wherever she spends the night drained of blood, though she's sure she's not the one killing them.
What I liked:
- The emperor of San Francisco and his two doggie bodyguards/henchmen. I would have loved for him to have been the central character of this book. He is funny, humble, brave and knows what is going on in his city.
- The final showdown between the Animals, the Emperor and Tommy against the evil vampire. It was tense and fast-paced with lots going on.

What I disliked:
- The plot very thin but at the same time very convoluted, with many different elements seemingly thrown in for the sake of it. What was the point of Jody's mum's visit? Or the snapping turtles? And Jody's slutty makeover in the middle of a crisis?
- Jody and Tommy as narrators; they both came across as unbelievable characters. When Jody woke up as a vampire, one of her first thoughts was getting a new boyfriend, as she admits that she doesn’t like being single. This is admission is the only realistic thing about her. She seems to spend most of her nights wandering around aimlessly, supposedly looking for the vampire who made her but not getting very far with it.
Tommy had no consistent personality all the way through this book. He is introduced as an innocent, intelligent aspiring writer who has moved to the city in the hopes it will help him write a novel but he is not nice to Jody at all. He gets her to put herself into possible danger to prove she is a vampire, and to find out what her limits are. He is horribly possessive and treats her as an object (at one point he considers touching her sexually during the daylight when she is 'dead' and even puts her in the freezer one night, in order to keep her 'asleep' so he can go out on a date with a human woman. And the most vile thing he tries to do
- The references to necrophilia. There are three men who see Jody during the daylight when she is dead; Tommy, Simon, and the coroner. All three of them want to do things to her dead body. I don’t even know what else to say here. There are no words!
- The evil vampire.
Overall rating: 2.5/5 stars (rounded up to 3/5 stars)
Profile Image for AH.
2,005 reviews370 followers
June 19, 2010
3.5 stars

I first picked up this book because it had an intriguing cover. As I started reading, I realized that this was not your average vampire story. First of all, the characters are very colorful, the writing is humorous, and the vampire lore just a little different from all the other stuff out there.

Jody has been made into a vampire. She was attacked, bitten, left under a dumpster, burned her hand in the sunlight, and left with a shirt stuffed full of money. There was no vampire sire to teach her how to be a vampire. She figured out a lot on her own. She realizes that she needs to have a human to help her out in the daylight hours. Enter Tommy, an aspiring writer. Tommy has left his home in the Midwest to experience life as a starving writer because according to his family, a writer must starve to be good. Tommy finds work at the local Safeway, where he meets Jody.

Most of the book revolves around Jody's relationship with Tommy. However, the secondary characters really do steal the show. From the five Wongs who want to marry Tommy for their American citizenship, Scott and Zelda the turtles that Tommy saved from becoming dinner, Jody's mother, the Emperor of San Francisco, the Animals at Safeway, the police homicide detectives, even the elusive vampire sire, all meld together in a funny, sometimes hysterical story.

I would recommend this book to people who are looking for some comic relief to their vampire reading lists.

Profile Image for jD.
752 reviews31 followers
January 25, 2012
At first I thought I liked this because of the narrator's delivery of the off color vamp Urban Fantasy. But now that it's concluded, I am thinking I just really like Christopher Moore's twisted sense of humor and storytelling. The characters where a blast even down to the two dogs and the cranky cops.

Regretfully, this story was written quite some time ago as a trilogy but only one audio book is still on the market. My library carries the hardcopies but I am loving having this delivered via car speakers during the moring and evening rush hour. I actully haven't checked the remaining travel time on the navigation since I started listening. I am seriously considering borrowing the books but it's not really a fit for my reading preferences.

At least there was no cliffhanger but I know the characters live on in 2 additional books so I am itchy to hear more. There was nothing I didn't like. BTW, the synopsis says the hero/heroine are teenagers but only one actually is. This is UF and although it is called A Love Story, I think that is sarcastic. I don't think Mr. Moore was even trying to hit the romantic mark but only created a parody. This is a really fun book that doesn't take anything too seriously.
Profile Image for Athena.
240 reviews41 followers
June 1, 2016
Bloodsucking Fiends is a flat-out romp. I snickered, chortled, and yes, guffawed through the entire quick read. Moore writes with quirky ease, managing to seamlessly integrate the sport of frozen turkey bowling into a modern vampire tale featuring an actual, non-sparkly, quite threatening vampire lurking in the background of this modern tale of American romance, unlooked-for vampirism, and over-worked cops.

The perfect light read for summer, or any time you need a good laugh. Go for it!
Profile Image for Gökçe.
Author 3 books72 followers
November 2, 2017
Aaa durun, bu bayağı komik bir aşk hikayesi 😂
Kitabın arka kapağında "Ölümlülerin sıkıcı hayatından gına gelmiş sevgili dostlarımız! İşte karşınızda sonsuz, harika, leziz, ölümüne komedi, yüksek, genç ve aşık bir terane!" diyor. Vaat ettiği her şeyi gerçekten de veriyor üstelik 😂 Fark ettiyseniz ben genelde komik, eğlenceli, kafa dağıtmalık kitapları seviyorum. Bu kitabı da beklentisizce almıştım. Vampir kitabı okuma yaşımı geçtim diyordum ama çaylak vampir komedisi okumak için asla geç değildir :D
Bir gece uyanıp kendini vampir olarak bulan Jody bu çaylak ve hiçbir şey bilmeyen haliyle, vampir olmayan ama yine de dünyadan bi'haber yaşayan saf oğlanımız Tommy ile karşılaşıyor. Jody'nin bir eve Tommy'nin ise bir kız arkadaşına ihtiyacı var 😂 İkisi de inanılmaz komik olaylara karışıyorlar, bir yandan da şehirde vampir saldırısı olduğunu gösteren cesetler bulununca başlarını belaya sokuyorlar. Ölü bir kadın, saf bir adam, çatlak bir kral, manyak bir vampirin başına ne kadar şey gelebilir ki? Çoooook şey 😂
Neyse, eğer gülüp eğleneceğiniz bir kitap arıyorsanız tavsiyemdir :)
Profile Image for C.T. Phipps.
Author 73 books584 followers
September 19, 2018
BLOODSUCKING FIENDS (A Love Story) is a funny book 90% of the time but when the humor falls flat, it falls flat. The premise is Jody is a 26 year old urban professional who gets turned into a vampire, only to immediately recruit a 19 year old would-be-writer to be her minion since she can't go out in the day. This is while she's being stalked by her super-rich creator and Emperor Norton of San Fransisco (mysteriously alive 120 years after his death), who is apparently a vampire hunter now.

The book is mostly entertaining but had a few moments where the frat boy humor was less than awesome. The Animals, for example, are Wallmart employees who act exactly like they do in real life when unsupervised--and I get enough of them when I shop.

Likewise, there's the not at all horrifying (*sarcasm*) moment when Jody's boyfriend has sex with her while she's asleep as a vampire corpse. Yeah, there's a word for that. Overall, there was a lot of good moments but a few bad ones hurt its readability factor.

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