This is hot garbage from start to finish, and not even in a fun way. Even the ending is pure dreck. A huge fucking NO. The premise is that this rich guy has a million daughters, twins with his first wife and then a billion more with a younger second wife. When he dies, they discover in his will that he left all one hundred million of his dollars to whichever child can produce the first heir (lmao) which of course creates a race between his two wives to see which daughters can...give birth the fastest? Even though the twins are significantly older than the second set of kids, which creates a moment where one of the younger daughters is being set up in a marriage to her cousin at 15? STOP
Anyway the twins. Because this is primarily about them. One twin, Summer, is married and sailing the world with her husband while the other, Iris, has recently been left by her husband. Summer calls Iris and is like "my husband's baby from his first marriage has a medical emergency, his penis is an infected MESS and he might die..." This was a few pages in and already I was like my eyes are bleeding, can I please stop reading this book NOW? But she NEEDED Iris to fly to Thailand while her baby had emergency penis surgery so Iris and husband could sail their yacht to the Seychelles because it no longer had a permit to be docked in Bangkok. There were no other solutions. This was the only one. What a premise. On top of the hundred million dollar womb premise!!! So Iris flies to Thailand, only it turns out Summer will be joining her on the yacht, not the husband, and then halfway through the journey, Summer vanishes and Iris wakes up to find footage of the boom knocking her in the head and into the Indian Ocean to her death. So naturally after a few days of grieving and contemplating suicide, Iris is like "I'm gonna have to pretend to be Summer because she had a husband and now it'll be so easy for me to get pregnant and get dat MONAYYYYYY!"
Most of this is actually in the jacket description yet it takes like, half of the book to get to this point. The rest is about Summer's husband impregnating Iris (who he thinks is Summer...OR DOES HE?!?!?!) via "sexyrape" (I don't even want to talk about this because I fucking hate it so much), and then Iris "racing" with her pregnant teenage half-sister over who would have their baby first. After spending her entire pregnancy being like "I don't care if my baby lives, it only has to take one breath and I still get the money :)" to the point of hiring "the worst midwife in Australia" hoping that it dies, Iris starts giving birth prematurely and she's like "actually I care about my baby all of the sudden, it's not just about the money!" She gives birth, and then some stuff happens over the last two or three chapters that's "twisty" as if this book wasn't going to end without a really dumb twist.
A lot of the "twist" makes no sense yet comes with really complicated nonsensical explanations. SPOILER ALERT...as if you couldn't see this one coming from one million nautical miles away, Summer didn't actually die (zomg WOW what the jacket literally says "WHAT REALLY HAPPENS TO SUMMER ON THAT BOAT?!" GEE I FUCKING WONDER), she's actually a psychopath and doesn't have a uterus so she knew the only way of having a baby and getting the money was to trick her sister into being her and having the baby for her, so she comes back in a grand reveal to kill Iris and steal the baby (who is horribly named Rosebud). I don't...how did she know that when she "died" her sister would...become her? Like that is the least normal response to your twin dying? But she just knew Iris would "become her" and get pregnant, so she staged her death, jumped off the boat onto a dinghy, sailed away, and hid out for 9 months, and when she "surprised" Iris once the baby was born, she was like "I PRETENDED TO HAVE A UTERUS MY WHOLE LIFE" like...part of the drama with the twins was that they were born basically conjoined and with a bunch of medical issues, literally all of Iris' organs are on the "wrong" side of her body (thus the "mirror" twin dear lord) so...like the doctors would have done a million scans and tests and would have known at birth if Summer was missing something? But alas. I've given up on trying to make sense of it. I can't. MORE SPOILERS – just as Iris is about to shoot Summer after a wild fight, their brother shows up and shoots who he thinks is evil Summer, and "Iris" is like wow thank you, and throw's "Summer's" body to the crocodiles and then the brother's like "haha I love you Iris, Summer's the worst, I can't tell you apart haha but I knew Summer would shoot you, so that's how I knew it was her!" and then on the last page we find out he actually shot Iris because he's an idiot so Summer lives and gets the baby and the money and everything. WHOOPDEY DOO. As if we're supposed to care about Iris being dead because she becomes "good" for the last few chapters after being a massive spoiled dick the entire book? Pop off Summer.
Anyway I can't believe I read this, I can't believe that this was a Book of the Month option I actively chose, and I can't believe it got published. It's your typical "thriller" but executed just about as terribly as can be. Apparently it's supposed to be a "comedy thriller" or an attempt at a spoof or satire of the thriller genre, which I absolutely did not know because it's listed as a straight thriller, and it's not...good enough to be satirical? If you read it as a dark comedy you'll probably be a bit easier on the material than I was, but reading it as a straight thriller, I'd get to the "comedy" bits like...what is the author doing? They are so out of left field and weird, it's like she didn't commit to going either way with it, and so she's left with this awkward mess where one minute she's "being funny" about baby penis infections and the next, her protagonist is getting "sexyraped" which frankly is all dark, no comedy.