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Surviving the Merge

(Chadwick #1)

4.30  ·  Rating details ·  256 ratings  ·  105 reviews
My name is Justin, and when I was seventeen, I fell in love with a boy named Damon.

Damon was sick, only I didn’t know it at the time. And like any disease left untreated, it festered and burrowed into the unaffected areas of us, until we were both so far from healthy, we were killing one another. Then a tragedy sparked our implosion.

With nothing of us remaining to salvage,
Kindle Edition, 1st edition, 323 pages
Published May 26th 2020 by C.P. Harris
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Average rating 4.30  · 
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May 29, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: lovers of dark and intense reads
**** 4.5 Stars ****

Holy shite.
I'm so, so glad I haven't read any review prior to starting this book.

This was so bloody clever, refreshing, intriguing and complex. It was twisted, but not in a perverted way, (view spoiler) (I feel that I need to specify that considering my wicked taste). 😬


I don't know where to draw a line between fiction and reality regarding the subject matter presented in the plot.
Did the author research this?
Or was everyt
Lorraine Lesar
May 26, 2020 rated it really liked it
Androgynous Justin is a Ballet Master at the Oregon Ballet House. He’s married to Blake, a successful businessman and very much in love with him.
.....and then there’s Damon.
How do I explain Damon and what he infused into this riveting but also, very complexed cocktail of emotions and love storyline, that this Author gave us? I can’t without spoilers, so read it yourselves and let’s discuss privately your thoughts? so as not to give anything away.
My personal thoughts....
Unbelievably this is a ne
A twisted tale that left me in knots.
There was much to admire about this complex story but I also struggled with the balance.
It's clear the intent was to present multiple pieces to the puzzle.
Yet, I’m not confident I secured them together properly. And that is most likely my failure and not the authors. I think I covered every range of the emotional wheel while spinning along on this intricate journey. And that’s exactly what it felt like, observing a personal journey through the eyes of one
True Loveislovereview
OMG, I don’t know where to begin, there is so much to tell.
Overwhelming it was, absolutely overwhelming.
It’s kind of tricky reviewing without giving too much away. I’ll try my very best!

Before I dive into the content I want to explain the whole story in a few lines before you misunderstand what I’m really talking about.

This story is about love, about healing, about mental illness caused by surviving an awful life and trying to protect, it’s about sacrifices, deep therapeutic sessions, sexual nee
Laura Lascarso
May 28, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Xia Xia
Jul 02, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Reread 12 July: changing my rating from 4 to 4.5 because some of the things that made me drop 1 star were things that might never bother anyone else.

First read: 2nd of July
A wonderful debut by a very talented author!
Surviving the Merge is a story about having the courage to dismantle the foundations of a relationship built upon jealousy, codependency and darkness, and rebuild it back again stronger, saner and healthier.
It's absolutely impossible to review this without spoilers, so I will be ver
Kaje Harper
Aug 11, 2020 rated it really liked it
This was a fascinating account of a man caught up in a relationship with a husband whose mental health issues are causing him to come apart at the seams, or rather to show how much that has already happened. They have hit a crisis, and are in desperate need of rebuilding the relationship in healthier ways, for both of them. Parts of the relationship border on abusive - and a fair bit feels co-dependent - and one of the questions you have to work through, reading it, is how much someone else's su ...more
I finished this book long ago but I hadn't been able to write a review because real life got in the way AGAIN. *sigh* I guess better late than never huh?

Down to business..this book was utterly fascinating to read about. It was centred around a couple with one MC having Dissociative Identity Disorder(formerly known as multiple personality disorder). If you know anything about the disorder, saying this couple had a tough time would be an understatement.

They went through some of the most intense ti
JustJen "Miss Conduct"
Jun 11, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: ebook, lbr, mm

Wowzers. This was a really interesting and emotional story! I’m not sure where to even start. There are a lot of things going on here but they all surround Justin and his husband, Damon/Blake. When this story begins, we learn about the differences between Damon and Blake, along with the reasons for their existence. As the story unfolds, it appears that Blake (the sweet, understand, caring and nurturing one) is the main character, or host, as they call it. But as we delve deeper into the reasons
If you want to go into this book blind, I would advise you don't even read the blurb since I figured out pretty easily what it was going to be about just from that. If you need trigger warnings than you definitely need to read those as there a number of them (view spoiler).

I'm in the minority that didn't love this book. I
Laura Lascarso called it ' Delicious ', so I went into this story blind and trusting.
Happy for that decision so I'm keeping this review as spoiler free as I am able.

Surviving the Merge is a story of a pre-existing relationship. A marriage that is unconventional, unstable and quite frankly worrisome at times.

The strength of this story comes from the emotional and psychological healing of Damon.
Damon lives in a mind riddled with so much guilt, pain and anger. Even in his worse moments I couldn't
Ana  Nimity
May 26, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Please heed the trigger warnings for this book.

(view spoiler)

In her debut novel, C.P. Harris takes readers on a sometimes harrowing, sometimes intensely erotic, but always enthralling journey along with a married couple dealing with the reality of one partner's dissociative identity disorder. While I
Jun 08, 2020 rated it it was ok
I'm putting my review under a spoiler. I honestly don't see the problem in readers knowing things about the characters as they're disclosed pretty quickly. But, whatever.

(view spoiler)
Szidi ☼
May 27, 2020 rated it it was amazing

I can't find the perfect word to describe how much I loved this book. It was more then perfect.

Perfect writing style, awesome characters, full with emotions. And I'm a sucker for mental illness, and DID is one of my weakness to read about - and this was so well written! The author did an amazing job writing about this, the whole story was more then amazing.

I started to read it without reading the blurb and known nothing about this. So it was a surprise to find out everything and it b
Jun 06, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I'm not sure about 'Surviving the Merge' but...

I was pretty damned happy when I realized that 'I survived this book'. It's been a while since I've read a book that had the emotional impact on me that this one did.

I'm just going to take a minute to give a little bit of personal background here because I honestly feel that it's relevant to the story as it relates to my response to it. I spent nearly 20 years working in healthcare in one form or another and while I don't profess to be an expert
Jennifer Ali
May 26, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I feel like this book is my baby. It has everything i like in a book all put together in one place. If im able to get a physical copy of this book one day picture LoTR's Gollum moments.

This is not an easy love story - there is nothing easy and lighthearted about this books romance and love story, it is harsh, intense, and painful at times. And i loved every moment of that. I am an angst whore. Give me a book that tears my heart out and puts it back in misshaped and i'll forever love you.

Plus a
Sep 10, 2020 marked it as nope-not-for-me-not-interested
I’ll admit I avoided the reviews...thinking that this was somehow a book about surviving a future after the apocalypse or something to that effect. Alas, this is not. And while the writing was good. The setup intriguing. Once I realised what was going on I just didn’t want to go there.

I fear the angst and pain.
May 30, 2020 rated it really liked it
4.5 stars!!
Patricia Nelson
Jun 07, 2020 rated it it was amazing
OMFG!!! This is one of the most fantastic, amazing, bittersweet, poignant, grab-you-by-the-feels, powerful, intense, incredible, emotionally charged, tug-at-your-heartstrings, make-me-shed-tears-of-both-joy-and-sadness, raw, gritty, gripping, enthralling, compelling, completely unexpected, unconventional, definitely different, heartbreaking, no holds barred, nail biting, keep-you-on-the-edge-of-your-seat, honest, frank, original, unique, smoldering, and totally awesome stories that I've ever rea ...more
Cindy M. Green
Jul 08, 2020 rated it really liked it
This was an impressive debut novel for a new author! The story was very engaging and kept me wanting more and more from these men. It wasn't a light and fluffy read, more raw and edgy. Even so, the soft and sweet side to this story balanced it out perfectly. I found the characters likable, some a little over the top, but we all have different levels of energy. Ms. Harris pulled at my heartstrings pretty well and that makes for a good read in my book.

There were a few things here and there that di
Jun 07, 2020 rated it it was amazing
There are two big things I want to point out. For a first book from an author this was just amazing! Please heed the warnings to know if that isn't your cup of tea then this book isn't for you. But outside of that CP Harris knocked this one out of the park. Secondly, this is story line that I haven't seen done before. And for that it kept me so intrigued and wanting to know what would happen and how it would all come to a conclusion. Don't want to say more to spoil the moment. The characters wer ...more
May 31, 2020 rated it liked it
I wanted to love it but I just did not, and there were writing issues that took this to a 2.5* read for me. Rounded up because some of it was excellent and I hope for improvements in the next book.

In an effort to not ruin the book for others who might enjoy it I have tried to be spoiler free while still outlining my issues with the book.

Told entirely from Justin's POV with two other main characters, Blake and Damon. Two important female side characters, Julie and Sam. And a smattering of male s
Carol Flores
Oct 07, 2020 rated it really liked it
First of all, I think I got myself a new favorite author. 2020 is full of surprises, you see, and Surviving the Merge made it to my favorite books of this year.

Now, this isn’t your typical sweet, vanilla romance. It has some trigger warnings in the description so please be aware of that before jumping right into it.

This book tells the story of Justin, a young ballet master, and Damon, his husband with DID (Dissociate Identity Disorder). Since they met in college, Damon feels drawn to Just
Get to this goodness! Get to it now!
*Stumbles out of book hangover*
Such a gripping, emotional and well written tale of struggle, trauma, identity and most of all- that triumphs through it all. That shines through as a tight anchor, against the clutches of insecurity and the demons of the past.

|“Why does love require pain and trauma in order to just be?”|

Had me hooked on right from the very start and I just couldn't break that spell till I reached the epilouge. 

As much as the blurb set
Jun 18, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: kindle
I picked this book up on a whim- not sure what to expect and I'm so, so glad I did!
I can't speak to the psychology behind this book, but it was a ridiculously compelling read. Watching Justin, Damon and Blake unravel and put themselves back together again was painful, and hard, and ultimately hopeful. Seeing these men find their very hard-fought HEA was incredibly satisfying!

That said, please do read the trigger warning- this was not a warm and fuzzy book.

First time authors are always a bit of
Intense Psychological Thriller

Reviewed on June 6, 2020

Intimate, dramatic, thought provoking, emotional , heartfelt, enthralling, captivating comes to mind when describing Surviving the Merge .

Also well written , meticulous researched; couldn't stop reading it once I began. Read it , on one sitting.

Re-read: Yes
Recommend: Yes

#BooksILove #ReadOn2020 #SurvivingTheMerge #GRR #KindleFire #Amazon #KU
Joyfully Jay
Sep 18, 2020 rated it really liked it
A Joyfully Jay review.

4 stars

As you would expect from the description, this is a story that lives on the edge and can be a harder book to read. Damon suffered such horrific emotional and physical abuse as a child that his mind fractured and one day Blake emerged. When Justin met Damon, he had no way of knowing this at first, but Justin fell hard for Damon and then for Blake. If it sounds confusing, author C.P. Harris lays it out easily, although when the book opens it might take a moment to ori
Jul 06, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: mm2020
Intense but so good!

I went to this blind and so it took a bit to realise what was going on. Justin is a Ballet master who is married to Blake who is tender,nurturing caring, but sometimes Justin needs more than Blake can give him and he calls upon Damon who knows exactly what he needs. This is a complex story of intense love and pain and trauma with lots of twists and serious topics that are dealt with throughout the book. It had lots of feels and just has a way of pulling you in deeper and deep
I’ve often wondered about reviewers who say they have to process the book for awhile before writing their review. Well, I get it now. This book. This author. These characters. Just wow. Surviving the Merge is intense and so incredibly powerful. I’ll be thinking about it for a long time. It’s challenging and you have to work a bit to stay on top of what’s happening. So beautiful and heartbreaking. Thankfully, we get our HEA/HFN but it sure didn’t come easy. Just tremendous. Can’t wait for next in ...more
First of all, please read the warnings for this book. There are some very intense emotions and some descriptions that may be triggering for people. The author and publisher have included a warning page in the novel. That being said, please don’t let that put you off reading this wonderful novel.

I read a lot of books… and this one is truly unique. I can safely say that I’ve never read anything like this before. The main character, Justin, is a dancer and is married to Damon.. who is also Blake. D
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C.P. Harris resides in the city that never sleeps, although for her it’s lights-out by ten. She grudgingly dedicates her nine-to-five time slots to the finance world, but her most important role is mother to teenage twins. Her hobbies include, traveling, boxing, reading, writing—and more reading. And… more writing. She's always had dreams of being a writer and after waking up from the most disturb ...more

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