If I Could Say Goodbye by Emma Cooper

Aug 19, 2020 Michelle rated it really liked it · review of another edition

If I could say goodbye by Emma Cooper is the first book I have read from the author. So, I was intrigued to know what her writing style is like as, I have heard good things about the author.
Jennifer Jones and her husband Ed are a normal couple with two children. But when Jennifer’s younger sister and best friend Kerry dies after saving her from being hit by a car. Their whole world changes. Jennifer is racked with so much guilt that she can’t cope with her sister dying and wishes that she died i ...more

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Jun 24, 2020 Melanie Thomas rated it liked it

I've really enjoyed Emma Cooper's previous books - particularly The Songs of Us, which is one of my favourite ever books - so I went into this one with very high expectations. Perhaps that was a mistake as unfortunately it didn't quite live up to them.

I can't really put my finger on what it was about If I Could Say Goodbye that didn't work for me but I just didn't feel a connection with any of the characters and I didn't feel like a huge amount actually happened. Maybe I needed longer with the s ...more

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Jul 10, 2020 Lucy C rated it really liked it

I have never read a book by Emma Cooper before, so was unsure what to expect.

This heartbreaking story deals with grief and how it turns your family upside down.

Truly well written by Emma, told by the POV from husband and wife Ed and Jennifer.

A powerful and emotional read but does still have the humour so it's not full of gloom.

Highly Reccomended you pick this one up.

Thank you Headline and netgalley for allowing me the opportunity to review this. ...more

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Jul 27, 2020 Emma Jackson rated it it was amazing

Emma Cooper writes with an innate and rare talent. I am bereft that I have finished this book and find myself wondering how they’re doing (the characters that is!)

This beautifully written piece had me immersed within Jen and Ed’s lives - I found myself completely invested in both sides of this heart breaking story rooting for all sides and being heart broken along the way for everyone involved.

Ed’s part really cements this book as one of my favourites, he is the perfect man (not in a Prince Char ...more

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Sep 17, 2020 thewoollygeek (tea, cake, crochet & books) rated it it was amazing

This is a tale of grief, love and family life. It’s an absolutely stunning read, so beautifully and sensitively written, so emotive, so full of both sadness and joy , I’ve not laughed and cried so much in a long time. It’s not an easy read, it’s quite devastating at times as you go on Jens journey with her, the author deals with mental health so beautifully and sensitive , the importance of support and family is really well highlighted, it’s an amazing story, bring the tissues, but be ready to l ...more

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Sep 18, 2020 Agi rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2020-releases, 2020, blog-tours-2020

Jennifer’s younger sister Kerry dies in an accident, being hit by a car, saving Jen’s life at the same time. Jen’s whole world changes. She loved her sister so much, Kerry was her best friend, and now she’s gone. Jennifer is racked with survivor’s guilt and it nearly split her and her whole family’s lives apart. Will they manage to survive those dark moments?

The characters that Emma Cooper has created are absolutely brilliant, and not only the main ones, but also the children, Jen’s parents or
Jennifer’s younger sister Kerry dies in an accident, being hit by a car, saving Jen’s life at the same time. Jen’s whole world changes. She loved her sister so much, Kerry was her best friend, and now she’s gone. Jennifer is racked with survivor’s guilt and it nearly split her and her whole family’s lives apart. Will they manage to survive those dark moments?

The characters that Emma Cooper has created are absolutely brilliant, and not only the main ones, but also the children, Jen’s parents or Nessa and her daughter. They all feel real and relatable. I loved Jen and Ed’s relationship – it was so raw yet it was so clear that they were perfect for each other, and it broke my heart more than once to see how Kerry’s death affected their marriage.
I liked Jen. Even though there were moments she was too much for me with her behaviour, even though her actions were sometimes hard to understand (yes, I know she was grieving! I know she had problems!), I fell for her and her pain. Sure, sometimes I wanted to shake her, to remind her there are people loving her around her but nevertheless her grief was so well written, the author has got into her head so well that I simply couldn’t not like her.
I also adored Ed. My heart went to him so often – you know, I could somehow relate to him as I also have seen my own husband dealing with me in my darkest times, so I really could understand Ed’s feelings. He was so strong, so brave and he loved Jen unconditionally. His chapters were sometimes heart – breaking but they also added so much lightness and humour.

The book was a bit on the slow side and there were moments that it dragged a bit, though when something happened then it left me with open mouth, so not bad then  What I also would love is a bit more time with the two sisters together – you can say there was incredible bond between them and I would love to see how they worked together, not only read about it but see with my own eyes.

It’s actually a very powerful and emotionally strong story touching upon grief and mental health and the way it affects whole families and single person. It’s sad beneath the surface but the author manages to sneak the funny elements to the story as well, thus creating a very well balanced tale that is neither too depressing nor overly hilarious, and I think she has found the magic middle. I think the author has really well dealt with grief and even though it was sometimes overpowering, it was done in such a way that I always sympathized with the characters – though feel warned that maybe sometimes it’ll be too much for you as it’s a bitter – sweet, raw and honest description of dealing with grief.

It’s a beautifully written book, folks, really. Emma Cooper has a way with words, she has proven this already with her previous books and she also doesn’t disappoint with „If I Could Say Goodbye“. There is lightness to her writing, it’s easy to follow yet there is also enough depth to it, and she can beautifuly and with sensitivity write about feelings and emotions – I could feel the grief and sadness that Jen exudes but also the desperation and uncertainty of Ed. There is joy in her writing, there is also sadness and yes, I had some problems with getting into the book, no idea why, but on the whole it was a captivating story that had me invested in the characters’ lives. Truly recommended!

Copy provided by the publisher in return for an honest review.
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Sep 17, 2020 Jo Shaw rated it it was amazing

Shelves: tbr-owned

When I received this book from Headline I was so excited. Emma’s previous novel, The First Time I Saw You was emotional and one of my favourite books of the winter months, so I must admit I prepared myself to have my heartstrings firmly tugged by this book. It’s probably no secret to people who read my blog that I am a crier, I cry at the slightest thing in books particularly when I become completely involved in the story. This book, If I Could Say Goodbye, ticked my cry box, and boy did I cry! ...more

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Sep 17, 2020 Emma Shaw rated it it was amazing

If I Could Say Goodbye is a heartwarming exploration of grief, moving on and learning to live again after loss that also examines how mental health is affected by trauma, loss and guilt, this book was a surprising balm for my soul.

When Jen’s sister Kerry is killed after being hit by a car, she not only loses her sister, but her best friend too. The pair were inseparable. Her grief is further magnified by the guilt she feels as Kerry died after pushing her out of the way of the car. Jen feels she If I Could Say Goodbye is a heartwarming exploration of grief, moving on and learning to live again after loss that also examines how mental health is affected by trauma, loss and guilt, this book was a surprising balm for my soul.

When Jen’s sister Kerry is killed after being hit by a car, she not only loses her sister, but her best friend too. The pair were inseparable. Her grief is further magnified by the guilt she feels as Kerry died after pushing her out of the way of the car. Jen feels she should have been the one to die that day and can’t come to terms with why she was spared instead of the sister she adored. As she descends deeper into her grief, those around her watch helplessly as they wonder if Jen will ever find the strength to let go, move on and live life without her sister by her side.

This was so beautifully written. Intricate, layered and moving, the overwhelming sense of loss is palpable, emanating from every page. But with exquisite skill, the author has laced the poignant prose with humour that lightens the heavy subject matter. The characters were relatable, likeable and richly drawn and the story took me on a journey I didn’t expect as Jen’s mental health began to deteriorate. I found I saw a lot of myself in Jen and could relate to her guilt over not doing more to save a loved one and her spiraling mental health that ultimately led to breakdown. The author captures perfectly the feeling of knowing you’re going over the edge and breaking but also being unable to stop it. But the character who broke me was Ed, for in him I saw my partner and for the first time truly felt like I understood how it was for him when I was at my lowest points. I felt like I was living every moment beside these characters and was completely absorbed and invested in their lives.

Powerful, immersive, heart-wrenching and hopeful, this is one of those books that simply needs to be experienced. So, please read it. Just make sure you’ve got some tissues nearby when you do. I’m now off to buy Emma Cooper’s back catalogue... ...more

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Sep 18, 2020 Sarah rated it really liked it

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Thank you to Headline and Netgalley for giving me access to the ARC of If I Could Say Goodbye by Emma Cooper in exchange for an honest review.

I really enjoyed this book, despite the odd grammar mistake due to being an early edit. It is an emotional read, and it takes a very special book to make a reader feel such empathy for the characters in a book. It is written extremely well and I will definitely look out for more books from the same author.

The story follows Jennifer Jones and her family aft ...more

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Jan 19, 2021 Em J rated it liked it

This book is described as a heart warming and uplifting book about saying goodbye, its been described by others as a lighthearted look at grief. The story is told from the perspective of Jen, who loses her sister Kerry in an accident at the start of the book, and Jen's husband Ed - who battles to hold his family together in some way as his wife falls apart- not forgetting the other family who are punctuated throughout as the supporting cast.
Unfortunately I found this book to be quite slow paced ...more

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Jun 14, 2020 Tea Leaves and Reads rated it really liked it

Shelves: net-galley-reviewed

I think I only discovered Emma Cooper's books this year, or the latter end of last year, so I was delighted to be approved for an advanced copy of her latest book (coming September 2020). Emma Cooper has a real talent for writing books that tug at your heart strings and make you reach for the tissues and cry with laughter as well as sadness. This book was no exception.

I have to say, I'll always have a favourite of Emma's books, and this isn't it. But that's because her books will be four or five ...more

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Jun 24, 2020 Way_Word_Bibliophile rated it it was amazing

This is my first book by Emma Cooper and it was a beautiful, poignant, heartbreaking novel. It is sensitive and a well written book. It's a grate story about family and mental health and is quite emotional. It did have humor to lighten the readers mood. I finished it in one sitting and didn't ever think I could like a book about grief but the way the Author has added light hearted moments kept me want to read more. It was paced well and kept me engaged. Its gave me so many feels and emotions...t ...more

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Aug 01, 2020 Sara Oxton rated it it was amazing

If I Could Say Goodbye by Emma Cooper an emotion wringing five-star read. This is my first read by this author but it wont be the last, oh my goodness I adored this story, I started it on a morning when I wasn’t feeling great and just wanted to hide away and this did just that, it sucked me into the pages and held me tightly until the last few pages. Grief affects us all differently the author showed great compassion and empathy when portraying how these characters grieved, I think that’s why I ...more

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Sep 20, 2020 Debbie rated it really liked it

Jennifer Jones' life began when her little sister, Kerry, was born. So when her sister dies in a tragic accident, nothing seems to make sense any more. But Jen has the support of her amazing husband, Ed, and their wonderful children and she begins to come out of the fog. But will that be enough when the memories of Kerry are all around?

While this one was very much about love and loss and grief, it was also uplifting and written beautifully with some unexpected humour. I loved Jen's relationship ...more

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Oct 31, 2020 Laura Jones rated it really liked it

When Jen’s sister dies protecting her, Jen disappears down a spiral of guilt, shame and grief. Which not only impacts her life, but her husband and children’s lives too.

A book about grief and the loneliness of being left behind, make sure you read this with a box of tissues next to you.

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

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Jun 23, 2020 TBHONEST rated it it was amazing

If I Could Say Goodbye is a stunning and emotionally charged read, full of characters that make you feel as if you know them well. An absolutely fantastic read, that would be great for book clubs.

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Jan 18, 2021 Rachael Fraser rated it really liked it

A really good book about grief and the after affects it can have on people.

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Dec 06, 2020 Ivana rated it really liked it

Shelves: drama

Quite an interesting story and book. Speaking as somebody who lost sb. very important and close this year, it really makes you think about certain things and choices.

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Jul 06, 2020 Jen James rated it it was amazing

If I Could Say Goodbye is a story of grief. Not the usual story of the death of a spouse/partner, parent or child, but that of a younger sibling. The parents’ grief being secondary to Jen’s.

I’ll be honest, in the early stages the book didn’t grip me, my mind did wander. Please don’t let that put you off. I can’t remember at which point this changed, but very soon I was racing through the book, completely absorbed. Literally fitting in reading a few pages here and there, whenever I could, as wel ...more

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Sep 21, 2020 The Lotus Readers rated it it was amazing

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. What an incredibly emotional read this was for me. I found myself having a good old cry at 4am over Jen and her family’s story. It begins when Jennifer is adopted by a childless couple and four years later gets an unexpected little sister. Kerry is a determined, mischievous and curious little girl and the pair are incredibly close. In adulthood, the two are still inseparable. Jen now has husband Ed and two children while Kerry has a long term partner in Nessa, who she is hoping to propose to. Wh What an incredibly emotional read this was for me. I found myself having a good old cry at 4am over Jen and her family’s story. It begins when Jennifer is adopted by a childless couple and four years later gets an unexpected little sister. Kerry is a determined, mischievous and curious little girl and the pair are incredibly close. In adulthood, the two are still inseparable. Jen now has husband Ed and two children while Kerry has a long term partner in Nessa, who she is hoping to propose to. When a terrible accident happens while the sisters are on a shopping trip, Kerry is killed. Now Jen needs to find a way to carry on living, but the survivor’s guilt and grief are very strong. As Jen starts to lose herself in her memories of her sister, it becomes clear that Jen can’t let Kerry go. Yet, by keeping hold of her sister, will she end up losing her own family?

This is my second book by Emma Cooper and after reading this she has been bumped up to my list of favourites - those authors where I know I’m guaranteed a great story, emotional impact and believable characters. She has the talent to combine a big emotional punch, with a sprinkling of humour which isn’t easy to do. I honestly fell in love with these characters and their relationships with each other. Jen is a very organised and capable woman, who loves spending time with her family and creating a beautiful home. I loved her with Ed and the way the author has created a balance of the romantic and the mundane into their relationship. There’s enough of a love story to draw us in, but we see the normality too as they get the children ready for school, do the grocery shop and get involved with school activities. Underneath the daily grind though is a strong love and passion for each other. Yet it is becoming tested by changes in Jen. Ed has noticed that Jen doesn’t seem as organised as usual and is often staring off into space. Then at other times she is almost over-excited and far be it from him to complain about more sex, but well, he wasn’t complaining exactly... it just isn’t like his wife. He worries, but labels these changes as part of the grieving process. He doesn’t know what we know. Jen can still see Kerry and talk to her, she’s fuelling the recklessness he’s seen such as daring Jen to leap off a cliff into the sea. There’s a point when Ed realises that this isn’t just getting lost in memories. For Jen, Kerry is as real as he is or even the children and what will he do when this starts to affect them?

This was a tough, but loving and humorous portrayal of the journey relationships take when one partner is struggling mentally. I found the alternate chapters between Jen and Ed so effective because we can see the same events through both sets of eyes, sometimes with very conflicting results. I was so torn because I loved both of them, I wanted them to be together but I could understand each viewpoint. Ed wants his wife back, the person he fell in love with and his best friend. He wants to be a family, but wants to protect their children too. Jen has a heartbreaking dilemma. Does she follow medical advice and take the pills that might make Kerry disappear forever? She feels like she’s killing her sister again. The psychiatrist who sees Jen and diagnoses complicated grief understands what she’s feeling. This is survivor’s guilt. Jen wonders why she survived and Kerry didn’t. Kerry saved her life by pushing her away from the oncoming vehicle. In Jen’s mind she’s already killed her once.

This was a tough read because I struggle with complicated grief. In 2007, as regular readers will know, my husband died from pneumonia as a complication of Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. It had been coming for some time, but for the final year of his life I was his carer for 24 hours almost every day, unless I had a Marie Curie nurse. He was dependent on me for food, drink, medication and all bodily functions, even breathing. Three months before he died I agreed that he needed to be admitted to a nursing home from hospital. One of our carers was injured and I couldn’t have managed. I knew when I made that choice it was very likely he would die. For a few weeks afterwards I would see him out of the corner of my eye, sitting in his wheelchair looking out into the garden. I could also hear the mechanism of his wheelchair and a little beep it used to make. I realised that this wasn’t really Jerzy, this was me being unable to let go. In therapy I talked about survivor’s guilt and how I felt I had killed him by sanctioning the nursing home. I knew rationally I couldn’t have done anything else, but emotionally it’s been very hard to accept my own choice. I also have multiple sclerosis but in a milder form and I discuss choices and possibilities at length with my new partner, because I would hate him to go through the same thing. Reading this was emotional, I did cry, but I also felt less alone with my experience.

The author has taken a really tough subject, but made it warm and humorous. I love the way Kerry is often doing things she did as a little girl like standing on her head or blowing bubblegum. She also sits in the oddest places and actively tries to make Jen laugh. The wider family were lovely too, willing to support and help out with the children or Jen. Her mum is always full of good sensible advice and their acceptance of this peculiar phenomenon is brilliant. The final scenes choked me up. They made me sad for what I lost back then as well as for Jen. I was desperate for her and Ed to make it and come back together as a family. The night I finished the book I was an angling widow! My partner and my brother went night fishing, so I was alone for the final chapters. I had a good cry on the dog - he’s very absorbent. I found myself very thankful for the new chance of love that I’ve had with my partner over the last couple of years. All I wanted to do was hold him close and tell him how much I loved him. This is an honest story about how complicated grief can be, but never lets us forget that where there is grief there is always great love.

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Sep 14, 2020 Ciara Rosney rated it it was amazing

Jennifer Jones' life began when her little sister, Kerry, was born. So when her sister dies in a tragic accident, nothing seems to make sense anymore. Despite the support of her husband, Ed, and their wonderful children, Jen can't comprehend why she is still here, while bright, spirited Kerry is not. When Jen starts to lose herself in her memories of Kerry, she doesn't realise that the closer she feels to Kerry, the further she gets from her family. Jen was never able to say goodbye to her siste Jennifer Jones' life began when her little sister, Kerry, was born. So when her sister dies in a tragic accident, nothing seems to make sense anymore. Despite the support of her husband, Ed, and their wonderful children, Jen can't comprehend why she is still here, while bright, spirited Kerry is not. When Jen starts to lose herself in her memories of Kerry, she doesn't realise that the closer she feels to Kerry, the further she gets from her family. Jen was never able to say goodbye to her sister. But what if she could?

This is my first read by Cooper but I know it definitely won't be the last. I expected this to be hard-hitting and depressing, which it was, but I also found my cheeks aching from the number of times I laughed or smiled. Being able to make my tears of sadness change into tears of utter laughter by a turn of the page is a talent it seems only Cooper possesses, and I applaud her for that.

What Cooper managed to do with each character is so unique in the way they were all relatable and realistic. We go between the point of view of Jennifer and Ed, who are so different yet even just reading their story made it obvious how perfect they are for each other. Their marriage and family dynamic was something I crave mine to be like should I ever choose to get married and have children myself. I loved them both individually and I loved them as a couple. It isn't often I find myself rooting so hard for fictional characters.

The subjects of love and loss broke my heart. Although we read from Jen's point of view more than Ed's, I found myself getting excited to read his chapters. The desperation and utter defeat he felt as Jen's life began to unravel was excruciating. The steady decline in her mental health was something I almost missed at the beginning and reading of Ed stepping up to try and juggle everything after Jen's struggle is brought to light made me want to climb into the book and give him a big hug - and I'm not a hugger.

Although there is a lot of humour and moments of happiness, there is always the reminder that Kerry has gone and she won't be coming back. It's horrific and broke my heart into too many pieces to count. The normal family routine of managing life at home with the children or Jen and Ed trying to find some alone time to be intimate made it clear that even though everyone goes through such terrible loss, life simply goes on. It can be hard, yes, but you have to push through the dark cloud.

I laughed, I cried, I choked on my drink during a handful of hilariously cringe-worthy scenes (I will never be able to look at Channing Tatum the same way again). This powerfully moving book is simply stunning and definitely one to read. I also couldn't help but constantly think about how well this would work as a film - maybe one day! ...more

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Sep 09, 2020 Anne rated it really liked it

I have read, reviewed and adored Emma Cooper's two previous books; The Songs of Us and The First Time I Saw You, so was delighted to receive my copy of If I Could Say Goodbye.

Once again, this talented author has produced a story that brings a great big lump to the throat as she details the unrelenting grief that main character Jennifer experiences when her younger sister Kerry tragically dies. However, as with her previous novels, there's a huge injection of humour too and I found myself going f I have read, reviewed and adored Emma Cooper's two previous books; The Songs of Us and The First Time I Saw You, so was delighted to receive my copy of If I Could Say Goodbye.

Once again, this talented author has produced a story that brings a great big lump to the throat as she details the unrelenting grief that main character Jennifer experiences when her younger sister Kerry tragically dies. However, as with her previous novels, there's a huge injection of humour too and I found myself going from wiping away tears of sadness, to mopping up the tears caused by hilarity. This is a skill, and this author has it in spades.

There's a different feeling to this book, whilst it is still packed with carefully created and colourful characters, there's an edge to it that I didn't feel when I read the author's first two books. That's not a criticism, I think it shows that Emma Cooper is growing in confidence whilst retaining her own style.

The story is told through the voices of Jennifer and her husband Ed, with tiny appearances from the late Kerry, but only Jennifer can 'see' Kerry, and that's a cause of both concern and comfort for her. Jennifer is wracked with survivor guilt; replaying the moment that Jennifer died, over and over again. Imagining if things had been different; if she hadn't been looking down at her phone; if Jennifer hadn't moved quickly. Ed, on the other hand, whilst devastated about the loss of Kerry, is also trying to cope with Jennifer's reactions whilst holding together things for their two children.

Emma Cooper slowly and perfectly creates a bond with her readers. At times the story is quite slow-paced, but we are learning about Jennifer and Kerry, and their incredibly close relationship. Ed's chapters are a little more frivolous, whilst he has his own struggles, he faces them with a humour that is endearing. He's one of those male characters that you cannot help but fall just a little in love with.

Overall, this is a story of grief, guilt and love. It is an in-depth look at how one tragic moment can impact our entire lives, and how that moment can make us constantly reevaluate ourselves and everything around us.

If I Could Say Goodbye is a deeply personal, sensitively written story with a healthy injection of humour. A little bit quirky, very powerful and packed with love. Recommended by me.
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Sep 12, 2020 We(e) Read(s) rated it it was amazing

I knew within the first 20 pages of starting If I Could Say Goodbye by Emma Cooper that it was going to become one of my favourite books of the year. Her beautiful writing drew me in immediately, how she conjures these amazingly likeable, relatable characters and makes you feel as though you’ve known them your whole life. I devoured this book in 2 days and I already miss it!

When Jen loses her sister Kerry in a tragic accident she is overcome with grief and guilt. Over time she begins to lose her I knew within the first 20 pages of starting If I Could Say Goodbye by Emma Cooper that it was going to become one of my favourite books of the year. Her beautiful writing drew me in immediately, how she conjures these amazingly likeable, relatable characters and makes you feel as though you’ve known them your whole life. I devoured this book in 2 days and I already miss it!

When Jen loses her sister Kerry in a tragic accident she is overcome with grief and guilt. Over time she begins to lose herself in her memories of Kerry, to the detriment of everything and everyone else. Her husband, Ed, and her two children are out of their minds with worry and nothing they do or say seems to get through to her. Will Jen ever be able to find the courage and inner strength to let go of her best friend and try to move on?

Chapters from Jen’s point of view alternate with chapters written from Ed’s perspective as the reader is shown how Kerry’s death, Jen’s consequent grief and serious and lengthy struggles with her mental health affect her marriage, relationships with her children and ability to effectively function on a day to day basis. These issues are handled in a thought-provoking and sensitive way, made all the more poignant as we are able to see first hand how special Jen and Kerry’s relationship was.

If I could marry a character in any book then Jen’s husband Ed would be right up there at the top of my list. But then, he’s so smitten with his actual wife he definitely wouldn’t be interested in me (also, I realise, he is fictional). I thought what this book did particularly well was to show how vital support from family members can be to those struggling with feelings of regret and loss. Without Ed’s patience, perseverance and love this would have been a very different story.

It seemed unlikely, I thought, that a novel that deals with the death of a sibling, grief and difficulties in letting go would be uplifting. But this book is so so far from dark and depressing. Yes, it has its sad, lump in throat moments. But it’s also so witty, funny, and full of love and hope that it left me feeling all positive and with a heart that was thoroughly warmed!

This was the first of Emma Cooper’s novels that I’ve ever read but it certainly won’t be my last. A beautiful book both inside and out.

With thanks to Headline Books for gifting me a digital copy to review. ...more

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Nov 21, 2020 Georgina rated it liked it

Jennifer’s sister Kerry is, quite simply, the love of her life. So when Kerry’s life is cut tragically short by an OAP driving with a dodgy windscreen wiper, Jennifer is unable to cope. Why did she survive when Kerry died? How is she meant to live in a world without her sister? And will she ever find a way to say goodbye?

So, this is my first book by Emma Cooper, and I requested it on NetGalley after seeing other reviews comment on how it was surprisingly light in tone. This unusual premise real Jennifer’s sister Kerry is, quite simply, the love of her life. So when Kerry’s life is cut tragically short by an OAP driving with a dodgy windscreen wiper, Jennifer is unable to cope. Why did she survive when Kerry died? How is she meant to live in a world without her sister? And will she ever find a way to say goodbye?

So, this is my first book by Emma Cooper, and I requested it on NetGalley after seeing other reviews comment on how it was surprisingly light in tone. This unusual premise really stood out to me - a lighthearted take on grief is something rarely explored, and so I was eager to see how it worked. And for the most part, I was quite impressed - there was so much humour and levity in these pages that it did end up being surprisingly uplifting, and I was definitely left giggling quite a few times!

Unfortunately, although its humorous moments were very well written, ‘If I Could Say Goodbye’ broke the unspoken rule of emotional writing - show not tell. I was told all about the amazing bond between the two sisters, but I couldn’t feel it. I think part of that is because Kerry dies only a few pages into the book, and so you don’t get the chance to see the relationship for yourself, and it’s instead mainly told through flashbacks - again, being told not shown. This meant I struggled to connect with the book or it’s characters on an emotional level.

So altogether, it was a real mixed bag for me. I loved the humour and lightness, and thought that it was a really unique take on grief and how it affects how you live your life. However, the emotional element of the novel was lacking for me, which was a real shame as an emotional connection would have made it much stronger of a read for me. However, Cooper is clearly a skilled author, and I wouldn’t hesitate to read more of her work.

Disclaimer - I was fortunate enough to be provided with an advance reading copy of this book by NetGalley. This has not affected my review in any way, and all opinions are my own. ...more

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Sep 30, 2020 Sarah Lee rated it liked it

‘When you lose someone - when your life is turned upside down, and you’re left broken - grief clings to every part of your being: you can’t see properly, you can’t breathe, you can’t speak, you can’t eat, you can’t sleep… you’re living but at the same time, you’re not alive.’

I found If I Could Say Goodbye by Emma Cooper a very moving story written by someone who herself I would say has suffered from the loss of a loved one. This novel tells the story of Jennifer Jones, who loses her sister Kerry ...more

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Nov 06, 2020 Emma Rowson rated it really liked it

I discovered Emma Cooper earlier this year when I was utterly enchanted by The First Time I Saw You, a book that I loved so much that my Mum, my Grandma and my aunt-in-law have all now received gifted copies and each adored it just as much as I did.

I was therefore very excited to learn that the author had another book out. The problem is – I loved The First Time I Saw You so much…..would this live up to expectations?

The short answer. Yes. Although I would say that it didn’t sparkle quite so much ...more

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Sep 28, 2020 Marie’s Book Boutique rated it it was amazing

To read my full review at mariesbookboutique.wordpress.com/2020...

The reader meets Jennifer who has a wonderful life with her husband Ed and their two children Hailey and Oscar. She has a great relationship with her adopted parents and their daughter Kerry. Jennifer and Kerry are inseparable and are very close even though they are so very different. Kerry is the adventure and risk taker and Jennifer is the safe and dependable.
So when tragedy Kerry get's killed in an accident while saving her a ...more

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Aug 24, 2020 Sarah rated it really liked it

This is my third Emma Cooper book and having loved her previous two books, I was eager to read this, her next book.

Whilst totally different from the others, it was still thoroughly enjoyable, making me cry and sob and tense with anticipation and worry in equal measure.

The story lets us into the worlds of Jen, a recently grief stricken woman who has lost her younger sister in tragic circumstances. Ed her deliciously caring and concerned husband and their two children Hailey & Oscar. It cleverly ...more

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Sep 23, 2020 adventuresinabookshop Jo DM rated it it was amazing

I read Emma’s first book The Songs of Us recently and loved it (although it broke my heart!). If I Could Say Goodbye Emma has done it again with a beautiful book which covers grief and mental health in a sensitive and empathetic way.

When Jennifer Jones loses her little sister Kerry (who is also her best friend) in a tragic accident her grief is all encompassing. Although she has the perfect life full of family and happiness, all she can think about is that it should have been her who died instea ...more

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Oct 04, 2020 Megan Jones rated it really liked it

Jennifer Jones' life began when her little sister, Kerry, was born. So when her sister dies in a tragic accident, nothing seems to make sense any more. Despite the support of her husband, Ed, and their wonderful children, Jen can't comprehend why she is still here, while bright, spirited Kerry is not. When Jen starts to lose herself in her memories of her sister, she doesn't realise that the closer she feels to Kerry, the further she gets from her family. Jen was never able to say goodbye to her ...more

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