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Essential Manners for Men: What to Do, When to Do It, and Why
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Essential Manners for Men: What to Do, When to Do It, and Why

3.63  ·  Rating details ·  758 Ratings  ·  46 Reviews
Essential Manners for Men helps men make the right decisions about what to do and say in every situation that counts. Peter Post, great-grandson of Emily Post, distills the essential information men need for all the important roles they play in life.
Organized into three parts -- "Daily Life," "Social Life," and "On the Job" -- Essential Manners for Men resolves situations
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Hardcover, 224 pages
Published October 21st 2003 by William Morrow
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Natalie Boath Try Debretts. There is one aimed at teens but it applies well to women too. Debrett's Etiquette For Girls and Debrett's A-Z of Modern Manners are very…moreTry Debretts. There is one aimed at teens but it applies well to women too. Debrett's Etiquette For Girls and Debrett's A-Z of Modern Manners are very good.(less)

Community Reviews

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Ryan
Aug 20, 2011 rated it it was ok
There's a strange dynamic at play in Peter Post's Essential Manners for Men. On the one hand, Post regularly calls on his readers to follow the essential manners. However, in this postmodern, globalized age, is anything "essential?" Perhaps not, but Post maintains that we should be considerate by remaining aware of social guidelines for behavior.

Still, I found it problematic that Post calls on us to be considerate, not because it's right, but rather because it can cost us if we are not. Isn't it
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Mohammad Ali Abedi
“Essential Manners for Men” is written for sitcom husbands. That guy who is in his underwear drinking beer and won’t switch the channel because he loves football so much! *audience in the studio piss themselves LAUGHING* The subtitle of this book is “What to Do, When to Do It, and Why”. I was especially interested in the why, because it sounds interesting. Why should we do some of the things we are expected to do? As it turns out, the answer to the why is basically, because its respectable or be ...more
Dave
Nov 22, 2011 rated it did not like it
This is written for every man who will not read it. It's for the obtuse public nut scratcher / adjuster that irritates all of the women in the world who are perfectly mannered.

I was hoping for a more timely set of topics like smartphone use, outdated practices (door holding, etc).
Nicholas Piva
Apr 08, 2014 rated it it was ok
This book has proved wonders for me. Instead, of reading every part of it and highlighting the importance of some facets of the book, I only wrote down what I needed to work on. I am lucky for I have mastered most of men’s etiquette. Probably due to my childhood and shyness as a kid, I never went flamboyant on any subject matter or dressed in a way to promote myself.

The first facet I need to work on is aggressive driving. I can drive fast, but never cutting others off. Never get mad in the car
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Jonathan
This was not a surprising book in its contents, but it was quick and interesting. Some reiterations that I think everyone can bear to be reminded of:
* Etiquette is no more than Consideration, Respect, and Honesty for the other person. It is a social pattern that developed over centuries because it works to help people get along. When you act with etiquette, it gives the other person more trust in you, and in you more confidence.
* When you interrupt someone, you are cutting that person off at the
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Affad Shaikh
Mar 24, 2014 rated it liked it
I have never gone to an "American, read White, Christian" wedding before. I would assume its the same as any other wedding, and therefore, I would cautiously attend, though I would feel awkward and out of place not knowing what exactly is going on and what expectations there might be of me. Watching TV you can pick up on so much of whats acceptable, however, given that there are so many variations its hard to find a safe norm. I am sure if White Christians tried to apply these normal standards o ...more
Sunny Yoo
Dec 20, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A must read for any man who wants to improve in his daily, social, and work life. The three principles of etiquette are consideration, respect and honesty.

He teaches me that:
"We don't do these things to get anything in return - we do them because we believe in their inherent value."
Through our manners there is "A terrific opportunity to do things right, thus pleasing and impressing those you're with."
"These gestures are the mark of a man who is aware and respectful of the people around him."

I h
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Don Incognito
May 27, 2009 rated it liked it
This book is helpful enough that you should buy a copy and expect to refer to it occasionally. Where it helped me the most is the etiquette of tipping. On one of my last dates, I was annoyed at the waiter's insufficiently attentive service, so I wanted to withhold any tip. My date insisted I tip him just because of servers' negligible pay. I did what she wanted, and eventually learned from this book that I was wrong and she was right; waiters and other people giving service should be tipped some ...more
Russ&Sara
Oct 26, 2012 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Anyone who enjoys reading about Human behaviors
Recommended to Russ&Sara by: Russ Piant
Shelves: own-it
I really, thoroughly enjoyed reading this book! Although I am a woman, I still gained quite a bit of insight as to how to act towards people from reading this "Men's" book. I'm incredibly interested in going back and reading more from the Emily Post Institute, and I even look forward to it!

This book is insightful for anyone who is interested in human behaviors, any age. The writing style was not as text-book style as one would assume from the title. The author's personal tales and views of how p
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Phillip.c.lacey
Jan 14, 2009 rated it really liked it
An etiquette book for guys? C'mon.

Right off the bat, Peter Post, great-grandson of etiquette guru Emily Post, lets his readers know that the book explains how to be considerate and that etiquette need not be something that guys automatically dismiss.

Post offers both the rules of etiquette and the all important why the rules exist. Guys, this will save you many unnecessary arguments and lectures, and will improve the way you are perceived by your partners. Ladies, this will help your partners be
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Darrell
Dec 27, 2012 rated it really liked it
This book is NOT suppose to entertain, and yet I found it very entertaining. Post delves into situations and things that I would never this of. The bottom line is to be the one to make everyone at ease - - but we sometimes do not know how to go about that. This was a very nice book.
Giuliano Zuan
Dec 29, 2012 rated it really liked it
I wasn’t too sure what to expect when I cracked open my hardcover copy of Essential Manners for Men. I knew it was about manners (for men), but I didn’t know how it would be written and presented. Anyone can write a bulleted list of manners and rules of etiquette, but in order for the message in a book to be correctly delivered, it must be interesting and well organized. The author, Peter Post, did a very good job at laying out and organizing how the book would flow. In order to write his nation ...more
Sleepless
Ok fine. I read this book in order to make fun of it. The thought that this book exists, that someone thought it necessary to create a book for manners, makes me laugh.

See, I feel like theres a fine line between actual kindness and manners. Having manners doesn't equal being a kind and considerate person.

I'm also annoyed by how the reason to do stuff for women was to pick them up. You do stuff to impress women. That seems a bit sexist.

The whole theories about women in the work force as well a
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Paul Percival
As another reviewer has mentioned, this book was written for every man who will never read it. In it you will discover that it is inappropriate to blatantly adjust your tackle in front of women but that it is polite to hold doors for those following you through. There are a few interesting snippets but most people that will take the time to read this are likely to already be following the majority of these ideas.

Most of the manners or polite actions discussed in this book are supported by their
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Emerson Vieira
Para mim, foram muito úteis as dicas. A linguagem é simples e direta, perfeita para o público masculino. Contudo, considerei os seguintes pontos negativos: muitas dicas são aplicadas apenas à cultura dos Estados Unidos, alguns assuntos (até dúvidas razoáveis que tive) não foram tratados ou foram tratados sem merecida atenção e o título traduzido ficou horrível. Na verdade, o título deveria ser apenas "Etiqueta essencial para homens", mas, creio que o título "Do que as mulheres gostam" foi incluí ...more
Mark
Jan 02, 2013 rated it it was ok
In this book are a handful of practical ideas to help both men and women show consideration toward each other—and page after page about why men are the problem. The man isn't really engaged in the conversation? There's only one possible explanation: men just don't listen. Same goes for toilet seats, etc. Every source of friction in a relationship is due to these rough men who have no manners and don't care.

Peter Post is emblematic of everything that's wrong with men today.
Raleighhunter
May 24, 2012 rated it did not like it
I actually bought this for my 18 year old boy, because we all know kids don't always listen to their dad, but I figured I'd run through it too. Most of the stuff in these books, I've taught to him already but looking for reinforcement.

It is all common sense & dictated from a woman's point of view because they represented 86% of the survey respondents. Maybe other parts of the country is different but growing up in Texas, well, I knew all this already.
John Williams
Jan 23, 2008 rated it it was ok
More investigation into the (d)evolution of manners, this one by Peter Post (the great-grandson of Emily Post) is geared toward the modern man. It is equal parts etiquette for dummies (e.g., proper introductions made easy) and self help (e.g., anger management). It does not give you the nuts and bolts of classic 20th century manners, but it does argue convincingly that good manners still matter. Would be a good wade-in for guys who want or need to know the basics.
Baqerjeryo
Jan 07, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Peter post came from a long chain of Posts great minds. This 2nd edition gives all answers in any situation for a fine man to be in good image in front family, friends, and even strangers. It gives a clean and clear instructions on to deal with many social barrier. It takes you to start the first step to be a gentleman
Tristan Williams
Jun 04, 2014 rated it liked it
Shelves: june-challenge
I didn't learn much from this book, and I think that's a good thing. It did, however, make me completely prepared for a bunch of situations I'll never be involved in. Notably missing advice on etiquette for keggers.
Adriana
Oct 25, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: anyone
Recommended to Adriana by: Boston public library
A cool book that explains to the modern man how certain manners are out of style and why some never go out of style. There are many examples and good explanations to consider. Also, it helped me understand some of the anxieties men feel when they don't know how to behave with women.
Garrett Cash
It's a good book that does what it intends to do, which is list the most important manners for men. The problem is that 80% of the content is very common sense stuff for the civilized man. There isn't too much to learn here if you already have socially adequate manners.
Xavier Taylor
Jul 18, 2012 rated it it was ok
I bought this on a whim. Much of the advice is just common sense for a civilized man. The brute who could benefit from this will not read it - the considerate, polite man looking for a comprehensive guide in order to take his social skills to the next level will leave disappointed.
Glenn Banks
Mar 18, 2014 rated it it was ok
very simple things, probably best for the teen boy or someone that need a little help. it would be a good gift if you wanted to let that person know there are things he needs to work on.

for me i read as a refresher.
Sergio
Feb 15, 2009 rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
I enjoyed this book. Although I found a lot of it common sense, I thought the chapter on tipping was well worth the read. I would recommend this book to either the clueless friend, or someone who wants to take a look and maybe refine their manners. It was definitely an easy read.
Quinn
Dec 02, 2015 rated it liked it
This was a very quick read and pretty good for a men's reference guide to manners. Two quick tips: put the toilet seat down when your done and do the dishes. I'd really give this one a 2.5 mostly in the basis that a lot of the book could be skimmed.
Chris
Feb 27, 2010 rated it it was ok
I prefer Judith Martin.
Chris
Mar 22, 2014 rated it really liked it
A must read for every gentleman or aspiring gentleman
vittore paleni
There is hardly anyting in this book that your parents should not have taught you growing up. It was rather unseattling to find what sorts of things actually needed to be said.
John
Oct 08, 2016 rated it it was ok
2.5
useful, helpful, insightful, handy
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Goodreads Librari...: Incorrect Summary/Combine 2 11 Jun 23, 2017 09:02AM  
  • The Young Man's Guide
  • The Book of Deeds of Arms and of Chivalry
  • American Boys Handy Book
  • Seek: Reports from the Edges of America and Beyond
  • Strenuous Life
  • The Crisis
  • The Frontier in American History
  • Boy Scouts of America : The Official Handbook for Boys (Reprint of Original 1911 Edition)
  • Parallel Lives
  • The Dangerous Book for Boys
  • The Boys of Summer
  • A River Runs Through It
  • The Thin Red Line
  • Theodore Roosevelt: A Strenuous Life
  • Self-Reliance
  • The Great Railway Bazaar
  • How to Be a Gentleman: A Contemporary Guide to Common Courtesy
  • Emily Post's Etiquette
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Peter Post, Emily Post's great-grandson, writes the "Etiquette at Work" column for the Sunday edition of The Boston Globe. He is the author of the best-selling book Essential Manners for Men, Essential Manners for Couples and co-authored The Etiquette Advantage in Business, which is in its second edition.
More about Peter Post...

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