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316 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 16, 2020
“I just thought you’d appreciate a nice wonderful breakfast and consider moving in with me for the rest of your life.”In regards to the humor, that was very similar to the first book; however, some of the humor did make me roll my eyes, just a little here and there. Not often, only occasionally.
I give Marcus a look. “I think he’s trying to kidnap me. Orin, my great and amazing father, I don’t want to be kidnapped right now.”
Orin stares at us. “What about after breakfast?”
Marcus starts laughing. And we all know that if Marcus finds it hilarious, it should never have happened. “There is something wrong with this family and I love it!” Marcus says as he smacks his leg.
“The thing about Finn is that he has this way of making everyone like and care for him. Even Karsyn likes him.”
Karsyn groans. “I try not to.”
“You got the dog!” He drops to his knees and the dog rushes over, ecstatic she’s found someone new to become best friends with.
And I realize that it’s all worth it. This is why I do things like this because there’s nothing better than seeing the smile that lights up Finn’s entire face. Nothing Brooks or Karsyn could say to me could make me regret a moment of this. Because when Finn is happy, I feel like nothing else matters. This is the only thing that does.
Even if I’ve added an ugly rat to the family.
“I feel like you’re especially snarky today, Karsyn,” I say as I step forward and wrap my arms around his body.
He instantly stiffens and starts barking stuff in Russian as I squeeze him tightly. I’m positive he’s saying stuff like “I love you” and “Hug me harder.”
“Hold on… so… you think Orin’s going to throw a fit about Aria’s boyfriend even though he never cared about mine?” I ask.
“Well, yeah, Aria’s his little baby girl and he was just trying to get rid of you. I didn’t see all the warning flags before you got ahold of me.”
“Are those fighting words?” I growl.
“Will someone record Finn so I can report this harassment to HR?” Marcus asks.
“You mean we could get rid of the pesky human?” Karsyn asks as he whips his phone out. “Make him do something really bad.”
“I’m pissed,” I grumble.
“Because you fell?” he asks.
“Because of… all of this.” I wave at myself. “I’m useless and just a hindrance to you guys.”
Karsyn shakes his head. “I would never say you’re useless. Remember that one time I used you as bait? That worked extremely well.”
I try not to smile. “Ha. Ha. You’re funny.”
“And that other time we bribed that vampire with you by telling him he could eat you if he came with us, and then Marcus beat him up for thinking he could touch you? You’re extremely useful.”
“Why is being a meal the only thing I’m useful at?”
“No! That’s not true. You’re not a meal, you’re more of a snack.”
“You scraped your knee up pretty good too,” Marcus says.
“I asked Karsyn to lick my wound and he refused. He told me he liked watching me suffer more,” I tell Marcus.
“And you call yourself a friend,” Marcus growls at Karsyn who gives us an exasperated look.
“But I don’t! I don’t call myself a friend to either of you!” he says. “And can you imagine the shit I’d have to deal with if you walked around the corner and caught me suckling on his knee?”
“Orin! Papa! This creepy old man is being mean to me!”
“He’s the best you’ll ever get, Finn. Let him verbally abuse you if that’s what it takes to keep him around. I thought you’d never sucker anyone into liking you.”
I turn in my chair to Artie. “Will you love me? I don’t need no man in my life. I’m more than happy to be alone and surrounded by dogs. Papa Bitey and Fangy McFangyface can go fuck off. Or they can love each other instead, and I’ll just love you.”
“Look at the anger on your face!” Karsyn cackles.
Finn waves him off. “No! No! The best part is the way he’s holding her. Look at his hand around her neck! Who holds a puppy like that?”
“She was squirming around, dammit!” I grumble.
“My favorite part is the comments,” Brooks says as he reaches past Finn so he can scroll down. “Let’s see: ‘He’s going to eat it! Why’d you give it to him?’ and ‘Why are all the handsome ones evil?’ and then my favorite ‘RIP little doggie.’”
“Dammit! Did you tell them she’s still alive?” I growl. This is fucking ridiculous. Why am I even trying to defend myself?
“I did!” Finn says. “I came to your rescue. It was really hard with tears in my eyes from laughing so hard, but I put up this picture of you two.” He points at a picture of me kneeling on the floor, playing with Hela in a moment of weakness. “And I wrote this to defend your honor: ‘The fanged creature seems to be warming up to the tiny bundle of joy. He hasn’t eaten either of us YET, but he’s given us pet names like Little Savory Biscuit and Dinnertime. We think he’s trying to plump us up first. If this is my last update, you’ll know that we’ve been eaten.’”