You Will (Probably) Survive: and other things they don't tell you about motherhood

When a baby is born, we celebrate the baby. This little life, so new to the world, is loved and cherished by all.

But we don't celebrate the other birth - the birth of the mother. We don't gather around and hold that woman in our arms and let her know how special she is and how loved she'll be through this journey. We don't comfort and calm her. We don't even speak to her about this massive change in her life. We just carry on like nothing has happened and expect her to do the same.

But something has happened. Something huge. Something magnificent. Something confusing and isolating - which is bizarre, given it's so common. Every day, more and more women enter their matrescence and yet most people don't even know this metamorphosis has a name. (p.107)

"Being sliced open on a cold table while you're awake isn't the fun little procedure you might think it is. It's not a simple slice, dice and out-comes-the-baby. It's rough and physical, and the pushing and pulling will make you feel like you're about to fall right off the table as they rummage around in your insides to pull that fat little bundle out of a too-small incision. It can be scary and confronting [...]" (p87)

But it's important to know that this can be just as special and overwhelming as a vaginal birth. You don't miss out on the magic just because you're not pushing the baby out. This is still the miracle of life happening before your eyes. Giving birth is giving birth, no matter which exit the baby takes. (p.87)

Most parents will, at some point, fall down the rabbit hole of sleep advice and once you're down there, you may never come out. Everything you read will convince you that you are setting your child up for failure. The rocking is wrong. The cuddling is wrong. The feeding to sleep is wrong. Touching is wrong. Even looking your child in the eyes is wrong because it's 'stimulating', which is really, really wrong. You might as well let them snort a line of coke for all that stimulation you're throwing at them. Meanwhile, all you want to do is hold your baby. [...]

You will lose your mother-loving mind if you keep trying to ignore your instincts. Your whole body will ache with wanting to pick up and soothe your baby when he needs it. It will feel so idiotic to wake your baby who has fallen asleep while feeding, just so you can put him down to sleep again. Why would you do that? Because someone on the internet told you to? Because some woman in your mother's group gave you the side-eye when you said you feed your baby to sleep? Because Great Aunt Barbara told you babies will be spoilt if you hold them all the time?

We need to stop driving new mums insane with all the sleep advice. We need to support mums to do whatever helps them get through the days. If everyone's getting some sleep, celebrate that. It is not a problem unless it's a problem for you. (p.129-30)